***CHAPTER 40***

Swara’s soul withers with pain as she descends down the stairs. She feels like a lost child who just wishes to cry out loud for someone to find her, to tell her that this is nothing but a nightmare, and that all of this will be gone the moment she opens her eyes. Her entire being trembles as she tries to contain her muffled sobs. Is this not what she wished for? Then why is the pain in her heart becoming more and more unbearable every time she breathes? The loss she feels wrecks havoc on her entire being realizing what she has done to him and to her own self.

She fails to realize where her feet are taking her, not until the point she finds herself standing at the very doorstep of his room. And then as if she has been awoken from a deep slumber, she gasps. Her heart chides her, urges her to knock on the door but her mind reprimands her for even standing there and not sprinting back to her own room. Shaking her head, she swiftly turns around to run as if her life depends on it, but halts the moment she hears the door click. Her heart skips a beat and her breath stops as she hears his voice.

Sanskaar: Swara? What are you doing here?

Swara: I… I…

Sanskaar: Do you realize that you should not be standing here especially at this hour when I got betrothed to someone else hardly a day ago? You do know that I am getting married in a week, right?

Swara: (takes a deep breath) Why are you doing this, Sanskaar?

Sanskaar: What am I doing, Swara?

Swara: Why are you marrying all of a sudden?

The moment the words roll of her tongue, Sanskaar grabs her wrist, yanks her inside the room, and locks the door before trapping her against the wall with both his hands on the either side of her head.

She opens her mouth to protest but is rendered dumbfounded the very next moment as her eyes get locked with those bloodshot eyes of his… the way she has never seen them before. What has she done to him? In her own inner turmoil, she has hurt and lost the innocent Vidhaan he once had been. He does not deserve this. After all that he has done for her, the least he deserves is the truth about her feelings. She tries to speak but words fail her, the pain tugging at her heart becoming more and more unbearable with every passing moment.

Sanskaar: Is this not what you wanted? You wanted me to get married to someone else.

Swara: But not to someone you have not come to love!

She exclaims in defense as each and every word he says appear like an accusation to her, that she is the reason behind everything that is happening, and in a way she is.

‘Love’… The moment Sanskaar hears the word a humorless laugh escapes his lips and the intensity of emotions swirling in those captivating hazelnut eyes of his knock every ounce of breath out of Swara’s body. Her knees wobble as she realizes that he has been struggling to find the words that will hurt her the least.

Sanskaar: The one I love does not want me, Swara! And I can never love anyone else the way I love her. So, it does not matter whom I am getting married to.

Swara is rendered speechless. Each and every word appears like a splash of ice cold water against her face and she finds herself too numb to form a coherent reply.

Swara: (whispers) I’m… I’m sorry. I never meant all of this to happen.

Sanskaar: Then what did you mean, Swara?

Swara: I…

Sanskaar: (chuckles) Let us be honest with each other for at least once, Swara. I love you and I can say that till the very last moment of my existence, but can you do that? I have asked you already and I am asking you again… Do you love me enough to hold that hand of mine despite what everyone else says? To me, you matter the most, Swara. You still do. The question over here is… What importance do I have in your heart? In your life?

Swara: Sanskaar, you don’t understand!

Sanskaar: Oh, I do! I, very well, do! If it is not you, then I am getting married in a week, Swara. Be it Anshika or anyone else? And please don’t take it as if I am forcing you. Trust me, I am not. Honestly, the one I am forcing is my own self.

Swara: Please, Sanskaar.

At her pleading voice, Sanskaar sucks in a deep breath. No matter how hard he tries, he just cannot resist her. Having her so close to him and not being able to touch her has been tearing him apart. Is it really necessary to make it all so difficult? Taking a deep breath he rests his forehead against hers and pleads.

Sanskaar: Just a word, Swara! Please. That is all I need from you and I promise to wreck havoc in heaven and hell, if that is what is needed for you to become mine. Just say it, My Love!

A word of endearment from him and Swara finds her entire resolve breaking apart. Her hands itch to run her fingers along those silky tresses of his. She involuntarily gulps just as her thoughts start running wild with anticipation as finds his warmth seeping inside her skin. Her plight has been like that of a moth, the nearer she goes to the flame, the more she burns. But this burning has a delight of its own and apparently she is ready to get burned down to ashes, if that is what it takes.

Sanskaar: You are not going to say it, right? Just go, Swara.

Swara: Please, Sanskaar. Don’t do something you don’t want to.

Sanskaar: I am doing what I think is best for everyone, and that includes you too. (takes a deep breath) I have said everything I wanted to. It’s getting quite late, Swara. I think you should go for a sleep.

And Swara leaves without another word, though sleep is the farthest thing from her at the very moment. The only thing she is left wondering about is why can she not take his hand!? Would it be so wrong if she gathers the courage he has been so earnestly asking her to?

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For the entire night, he has not been able to sleep. The guilt for saying those words earlier has been hauling at his heart ceaselessly. He knows that he has hurt her and that feeling alone has hurt him a thousand times more. But all that his heart knows that she needs this push to realize that what they share is much more precious than anything else they hold dear to their hearts. Then and only then she will be able to come to him. She has to win this fight all by herself. And he hopes she does for both their lives depend on it!

The sleep that came to him after several torturous hours gets broken hardly in a couple of hours as he feels someone shaking his leg vigorously. Sanskaar gets up from his sleep with a jerk and is instantly greeted with two little puppy eyes, looking up at him slightly annoyed.

Sanskaar: Champ, what are you doing here?

Chits: Sanky Papa, get up fast!

Sanskaar: Why does my Champ look so angry? Have you been waking me up for quite sometime?

Chits: (nods his head) Come out now!

Chaitanya orders keeping both his hands on either side of his waist and Sanskaar chuckles. He intends to ask why he is the one waking him up when he hears a faint commotion outside the guest room.

Sanskaar: It seems that everyone else is up already.

Chits: Yes, evelyone (everyone) is getting leady (ready). Swala mumma is also getting leady (ready).

Sanskaar: (sighs) Champ, I did not ask about your Swara Mumma specifically!

And all he gets is a glare in response. Though it is meant to scare Sanskaar but Chaitanya, with that glare, looks nothing but adorable. For a moment, his little banter has made him forget all that has happened the day before. But no matter what, reality does knock at the door of your room sooner or later, and all that has been in store for them is going to unfurl sooner than they have expected.

Chits: Ale (Are) you coming ol (or) not?

Sanskaar: Yeah… Yeah, sorry! I am coming. But why is everyone getting ready?

Chits: (clapping) We ale (are) going to gown… gown… gown!

Wait… What!? Has he heard it wrong or has he actually said gown?!

Sanskaar: What…

But before he can ask what the little one means, he has already left the room whilst hopping and clapping without paying any heed to his favorite Papa’s calling.

Well, looks like he has to figure it out himself. With a deep breath, Sanskaar gets up from the bed and heads out of the room as the commotion outside becomes more and more prominent.

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Reaching the main hall, the first person Sanskaar manages to get a hold of is Sujata.

Sujata: What happened, Sanskaar? Why are you not getting ready?

Sanskaar: (huffs) But Chachi, I must know where we are going before I start getting ready?

Sujata: (slaps her forehead) I’m so sorry, Sanskaar! Annapurna Jeeji asked me to wake you up but I forgot amidst all these works. We are going to our village.

Sanskaar: Village?

Sujata nods. Shaking his head, Sanskaar chuckles realizing that what Chaitanya has actually said then was gaon (village), and not actually gown!

Sujata: Yes. It is your grandma. The moment she came to know that you are alive and are about to get married, she ordered us to pay her a visit. She wants you to get married at our ancestral home.

Sanskaar: So, she knows about Shlok bhai?

Sujata: Of course, she does. Nothing escapes her eyes. We had not planned to tell her before we got the hold of the entire situation, but somehow, she figured it all out. And once she came to realize what has happened, there was no point in hiding it from her. You know, she is not the most friendly person you may know when you disobey her or lie to her.

Sanskaar: (takes a deep breath) Is she really that fearsome or are you speaking ill of her just because she is your mother-in-law?

Sujata: (rolls her eyes) Alright! I am not very fond of your grandmother but you will get to know why once you meet her. But for now… off you go. Get your bags ready. We will be leaving in two hours or so.

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A/N

Hello everyone! Here is the new chapter. I hope you liked it.

I know you might find Swara too stubborn at times, but she is just a human being with conflicting emotions. And emotions do tend to challenge our logic and reason from time to time. So, I just hope you can see where she is coming from.

SwaSan separation is about to end and very soon you will be able to see our adore duo together again.

See you all soon. Till then, stay safe and happy reading.

With love,
Stella ❤️