This Story Has No Plot

HEY! IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS, SORRY. I've been a little busy killing dragons and watching Netflix. A little context first, The Joj and Johnzilla are two versions of John and George only they're fat and can turn into monsters. In my deleted book, these two characters were introduced in one of the early chapters where GorgingGeorge (Rita) and I collaborated.
I wrote this with my dear friend Rita <3 . Have a good day!

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One day, two of the world famous Beatles were going for a waddle around some shops. They were bickering about something that doesn't actually have anything to do with the main plot.

"We have names y'know. John and George!"

...Sorry, JOHN and GEORGE were waddling.

"Anyways, as I was saying," John cleared his throat rudely, "why can't I fly in my Johnzilla form but you can?"

George looked at John, they had this argument before, "Because I have wings obviously."

"But that doesn't balance our power out."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because my ego is too large to handle this!" John scoffed and crossed his arms, "This is why we need communism."

Britain turned communist and everyone was poor. Oh no.

"Way to go John, you just screwed over everyone." George grunted, trying to keep his temper.

"Well I didn't expect this to happen."

"Did you forget what happens when these authors collaborate?! We become blobs and then all sorts of other stuff happens!"

"Stop yelling at me George! It makes me nervous OwO." John made the face exactly how he said it.

"Please never say or make that face again." Harrison blubbered as he threw a handful of nails into his mouth.

"Okay, this time, let's let them come to us or we'll look too desperate." Paul McCartney, the cosmetician-I mean bassist said as he passed by Lennon and Harrison. He was perfectly normal weight unlike the other two because he's too perfect to have flab. At least according to him.

"What are you talking about Pol?"

"The holiest of holy stores that exist in this great country called Britain is going out of business!"

"That makeup store? But it wasn't selling all that great of stuff."

"EXCUSE MEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?! I TREASURE ALL MAKEUP STORES!!"

"Well what do you expect us to do then?"

"I want you both to go, become your monster forms, and tell them they can't close down!"

John furrowed his brows like he was thinking really hard, he probably was. George figured it was hard to have that small of a brain.

"But how will that get them out of bankruptcy?"

"...I donated a million pounds to them. Wait, you two can become mascots for the company!"

George screamed, "ALL IN FAVOUR OF NOT DOING THAT SAY 'I'."

George and John both said 'I'.

"Oh come on, won't you help out a mate?"

"Um no, you don't even make good meatloaf." George snapped.

"RINGO LIKES MY MEATLOAF!!!!!!!" Pol screeched so loud that they all went momentarily deaf.

"He just says that so you feel good about it!" John said as he rubbed his bleeding ears.

"Well do it or else we'll delay your favourite fan fics even more. They won't update ever again!" The bassist cackled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOT OUR FAVORITE STORIES!!!!!!" John sunk to his chubby knees and started to sob.

"Okay okay we'll do it! But only for our stories, not for you." George sneered.

"YAY!!!!! Go for it, you guys!" Paul cheered, suddenly in a cheerleader outfit.

George almost vomited at the sight of Paul, he quickly took John's hand and led him away.

"Eye candy..." Lennon mumbled.

"Where are we supposed to go? It's not like the head of the makeup stores lives in a zoo." George said.

"Actually they do." Ringo announced which scared John so much that he jumped ten feet in the air and landed on a telephone pole. Ringo was in a monkey suit and holding a sign that said, 'cum eat banaas or we eet yoo.'

"Uhhh doing some advertising there. Rings?" George asked nervously.

"Oh this? Yeah, trying to get the money to keep us in our flat." Ringo took a drag from his cig that magically appeared from nowhere, "I was saying that the zoo is where they keep the makeup guys."

"Wow, there's something you don't see every day. We're millionaires and yet we need to get part time jobs to pay rent." John remarked.

"What about having a makeup store in the zoo?"

"Well cosmetic companies are known for testing on animals...wait...WE GOTTA STOP THEM FROM TESTING ON ANY CUTE CRITTERS HERE!!!!!"

"But what if they're testing on rats?"

"They're still cute and can be pets. You know how Paul feels about animal rights. If he knew what they're doing, he'd never buy from these guys again."

"I think you're missing the point, they're not testing...they're on display. Makeup entrepreneurs are their own species." Ringo said.

........................

"wut."

"It's true, go look for yourself."

So the two Beatles made their jolly way to the local zoo and shoved crying children out of their way as they went.

"Wow! Who knew being horrible to children was so much fun!"

"That's what Ted Bundy said." John snickered.

"First off, I can't believe that just came out of your mouth. And second, I can't believe that just came out of your mouth!" George screamed.

Looking around the exhibits, the two were shocked to see that instead of animals at the zoo, they were all filled with different makeup artists and entrepreneurs.

"I had no clue this was where makeup actually came from."

"Well it's a fanfic. Anything can happen." George snickered, "still can't believe you said that."

"Hey, it was just a morbid joke. Anyways, let's get into our monster forms and get to promoting these guys!"

With a sudden poof, the blobby Beatles became their blobby monster forms.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Oh wait, I think we're squishing everyone here."

"Hey! We're not that fat! Aw well, grab my feet, I'll fly us out of here!"

The Joj flapped his tiny wings and somehow lifted a 10,000 pound Beatle monster including himself in the air.

"You comfy down there, Johnzilla?"

"Can I be edgy and say that I hate you and myself for agreeing to do this?"

"No."

"Whatever then. Hey! Keep the makeup stores open or we'll kill you and our mate will be really sad!"

"You have to intimidate them, John."

"Who says?!"

"I BLOODY WILL DO AND IF YA DON'T THEN I'LL DROP YOU!"

"Okay okay jeez! No need for you to be so mean..." John pouted.

Slowly floating down, Johnzilla let go of the Joj's legs and landed near the nearly crushed makeup zoo.

"Hey you guys! YOU BETTER STAY OPEN OR ELSE WE'RE GONNA SIT ON YOU!!!!" John growled loud enough for everyone in Britain to hear.

I bet a lot of fan girls would want that.
This got people to rush into the zoo and buy everything they could in it.

"Well that did it. Hey George, wanna suck some helium to pass the time before Paul thanks us?"

"Actually Paul is already here buying loads of stuff with the money that Ringo is making for us." John pointed to McCartney who was shoving cosmetics down his pants to carry it all.

"That explains why Ringo has a part time job..." George mumbled.

"Wait wasn't Britain communist?"

UHHHHHHHHHH of course it was....let me just.....change a few things here.
And then everyone started sharing makeup and money because communism, but Paul didn't like that. He didn't want share because...well...he was Paul.

"I demand Britain become a monarchy again!" Paul stomped his foot and a few bottles of mascara fell from the inside of his left pant leg.

"It was more of an indirect monarchy..." John whispered to George.

"Well how about we become the kings of England then? That way everyone wins! And without all the bad stuff going on." Harrison suggested.

"Well I suppose that can be arranged. But how would we be able to do that?"

"Well we can ask the authors to do that, and can they turn our fat into muscle now?"

Do we have to? We can just write an easy subplot to how you guys get stronger.
George gives a death stare.
Fine.
And suddenly John and George were BEEFY BOIS.

"Heck yeah. I'll make chicken nuggets legal again!" Lennon exclaimed.

"We should ask the queen if we can take over. Be polite about it."

"Aw, I'm sure she'd love to have a break while we take over. Especially since she's in the presence of two BUFF BEATLE BOIS!!!!" John grinned, showing off his new muscles.

Oh before I forget, if you don't keep exercising your muscle will turn into double the flab you have.

"Aw but we hate exercise!" George whined.

Then you will get your muscle privileges taken away.

"Wait, what if we just wished really hard for things to turn back to normal?" John suggested.

"Don't be silly, that's a terrib-" Paul smacked George with a rubber chicken, "Okay let's try it!" George said with fake enthusiasm.

Wishing as hard as they could, soon the entire day was reset and somehow Britain was a sorta democracy again, well in the sixties anyways before Brexit was a thing.

"We did it! We're all back to normal!" John cheered, "but now I'm bored. What can we do now?"

"NO JOHN! Never say that when these authors are around!!!"

"Why not?"

Well we can turn you both into planet sized Beatles! Causing John and George to go BWOMPF.

"END THE STORY END THE STORY END THE STORY PLEASE." George screeched.

The writers mumbled under their breaths and conversed.

Winston Churchill stood up and announced, "Yeah that's the end I guess."

~the end~

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