Ray Manzarek woke up that morning, feeling in a slightly happier mood than his usual contentedness. He poured his coffee, sat down, and continued reading It by Stephen King.

"I thought you finished that already." Robby strutted in, smirking at Ray's death look.

"I did, I'm reading it again."

Robby gave a sound of disgust, "why are you reading it again? You already know what happens and how it ends."

"Can I just read my book?"

"Fine, as soon as you tell me where Jim is."

"Probably passed out in the bathtub again as usual."

"Right," Robby chuckled sadly, "he's slowly killing himself."

Ray put his book down, "I tried telling him that but every time I do he just drinks more."

"And you've already gotten rid of all the alcohol in the house?"

"He just finds a way to get more."

"Well yeah, he's a grown ass man. We're not his parents."

"Hey guys, what're you talking about?" John shuffled in with Hello Kitty slippers. Ray tried to hold back the smile.

"We're talking about how Jim is an alcoholic." Robby poured his own coffee and sat down at the table.

"Don't we talk about that every day?" John sat down too. He looked like he smoked too much pot the night before but they all knew John was never exactly a morning person.

"I'm sure we do." Ray went back to reading his book.

"Hey haven't you read tha-"

"YES!"

——————————

It was twelve in the afternoon and John Densmore decided it was time to wake Morrison up. He always the one to wake him up, the others didn't enjoy it because:
1.) One time Ray tried to wake up Jim and he hit Ray in the head with a cheese grater.
2.) Robby has been sleep followed by Jim on many occasions and apparently he still has nightmares about it.

John was the only one who had not been mentally or physically scarred by Jim Morrison so it was mutually agreed that he was the one to wake him up.

"Nothing ever happens to me..." The drummer mumbled as he opened the bathroom door.

A bottle of shampoo flew past John's head and he froze in shock.

"Oh it's just you." Jim muttered and he sank back into the empty tub.

"What if it was someone else?!"

"If it was Ray I wouldn't have missed and if it was Robby then I would've had to sleep follow him again for another night."

"Jim you can't-"

"Shhhhhhhh you here that?"

"...what?"

"That's the earth's tectonic plates moving while you jabber on about useless bullshit."

John frowned, "whatever, just get up. Raymond made grilled cheese."

"Oh my Harrison, grilled cheese." Jim rolled out of the tub and down the stairs, into the kitchen.

"Did you just roll from the bathroom to this kitchen?" Robby asked in awe and horror.

"Just don't ask questions, Rob." Ray said flatly.

"Good morning everyone!" The leader singer chirped.

Robby smirked, "you mean good afternoon?"

"Afternoon? What time is it?!"

"Twelve thirteen exactly." Ray announced.

Jim huffed, "John! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!"

John's eyes grew wide, "because you said that I shouldn't wake you up till twelve or else you'll murder me with an axe like in The Shining!"

"Are you sure that was sober me and not drunk me talking?"

"We can't really tell the difference, Jimbo." Robby defended.

"Some friends you are..."

"Hey! Ray's the one that dragged you off stage when you passed out in St. Louis! Don't tell us that we're bad friends when you constantly worry us every night about where you are and if you're alive!"

The entire room was silent. They hadn't heard Robby yell ever since Ed Sullivan when the producer told them they were never allowed on the show again. All because Morrison said "higher".

"Oooooooooh someone's in trouble."

"Shut up John." Jim crossed his arms like a child.

Ray put down the plate of grilled cheese, "that's not very nice, Jim."

"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!"

"Actually he kinda i-"

"No, he's not Rob!"

"Let's just eat, how does that sound?"

The rest of the table mumbled at John's suggestion, each one proceeded to eat.

"Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"....Did you used wheat bread?"

"...Yeah? Why?"

"Because this is shit."

And once again the band was in another cat fight. No literally, there was a lot of scratching and biting. In case you're wondering, yes, The Doors do fight a lot. But they always make up eventually, even if it takes months.

"Remember that one time Jim ate all the cereal and Robby didn't forgive him for three months...?"

"I still don't forgive him for that. THOSE FROSTED FLAKES WERE MINE!"

"We went and bought you more at the store! He even got you a box of it for Christmas!"

"It still haunts me to this day. To come home and not have any cereal...ANYWHERE!" Robby broke down sobbing.

Ray rolled his eyes and John put a blanket on Robby.

"Speaking of which, where is Jim?"

Ray scoffed, "probably the bar."

"Probably eating my cereal." Robby sobbed.

"GUYS, LOOK WHAT I FOUNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD."

"The fact that you pronounced every one of those D's is astounding."

"LOOKIE!" Jim ran in with an old dictionary.

"Where the hell did you find that?!"

"The bottom of my closet."

"Oh lord."

They all knew that if it came from Jim's room then it was probably bad.

"Dictionary for Dummies? Aren't all dictionaries for dummies?" Robby rubbed the back of his neck.

Jim had a twinkle in his eye as he opened the book, "give me a word."

"Uhhhhh how about pillaging?"

Jim flipped through the pages and found the P section, he read the definition out loud, "to do a very bad thing."

"What?! It means to rob or steal with violence!" Ray shouted.

"I don't know, that's what it says."

"Search up robbing."

"My name isn't gonna be in there!"

"I said ROBBING not ROBBY!"

"Oh."

"A very bad thing."

"What."

"The definition of robbing says that it's a very bad thing."

"Give me that," Ray took the book and read the definition. Jim wasn't lying, it right there in the ink itself, "where did you get this?"

"Some gypsie sold it to me for Robby's guitar." Jim shrugged.

"WHAT?!"

"Hm?"

"OSIDHGOSUYOESIHFSKDGHOSIDOUSRTWLSENHGOUSDHOUVDSOUITSHETLKEWJHT."

"What?"

"I think that's Robby talk for 'I will skin you and put it in my grilled cheese sandwich'."

"This entire book is fucked," Ray threw it to the side, "don't worry, Rob. We'll get you another guitar."

Krieger had already stormed out of the room and knocked down a porcelain cat on his way out.

"My kitty..." John winced as he started to pick up the pieces.

Jim sat quietly on the floor, afraid to say absolutely anything at this point.

"You shouldn't have sold his guitar."

"I know."

"Or eaten his cereal."

"I know."

"Or made him knock down John's kitty."

"That was his fault, not mine!"

"But you still sold his guitar."

"I'll get him a new one!"

"Jim, you don't know anything about guitars. You got him a ukulele the last time you went guitar shopping."

"A UKULELE IS A TYPE OF GUITAR."

"NO IT'S NOT, IT'S A UKULELE."

"WHATEVER!"

"YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR A NEW ONE!" Manzarek stormed out of the room.

John sat quietly and awkwardly as he watched Jim scowl.

"...You really should get him a new guitar, Jimbo."

"I know..."

"I can help you look for one if you'd like?"

"Thanks but no, I'm sure I'll figure something out." With that, Morrison left, not even putting his coat on before heading outside in the cold air of October.

—————————————

"That went well."

"Shut up."

"A ukulele is actually a type of guitar." Robby smiled.

Ray chuckled, "I only said that because I wanted to make him feel bad..."

"Well he just left so we'll see if he'll end up in the attic or the bathtub again." The drummer grabbed a glass out of the cabinet that had a picture of Barney on it.

"I thought yours was the Little Einsteins cup!" Robby complained.

Ray rolled his eyes, "The Little Einsteins cup is mine! Yours is the Wonder Pets cup, John's is the Barney one, and Jim's is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cup."

"Oh," John put the cup back, "sorry."

".....I wrote a song."

Ray and Robby looked at John with collective confusion. A song? From John Densmore? Surely he's joking.

"Surely you're joking."

"I am not."

"You took the time to write a song and not sit around and watch Ed, Ed, and Eddy all day?"

"I did."

"Well let's see it!"

John pulled out a crumpled piece of notebook paper from his pocket and handed it to Ray with a shaky hand.

Ray read the words out loud, "I'm gonna buy me dog cuz I need a friend now. I'm gonna buy me a dog, my girl don't love me no how..."

"THIS IS A MONKEES SONG."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"Yes Johnny, it is. Here, let's change a couple verses around so it seems like we didn't just steal a crappy Monkees song."

John mumbled something and watched as Ray scribbled out lyrics and wrote new ones in.

"You got to be crazy, you gotta have a real need. You gotta sleep on your toes, when you're on th-"

"That's another song! That's a Pink Floyd song!" Robby shouted.

"I bet you can't do better!"

"Watch me," Robby took the paper and started scribbling down notes.

John sat there like a child receiving punishment and Ray kept sideglancing the guitarist while he worked.

"Here we go. Don't you love her madly? Don't you need her badly? Don't you love her ways? Tell me what you say."

John and Ray looked at each other.

"It's not about dogs though."

"What?"

"It needs to be about dogs."

"Yeah, it needs to have puppers."

"TO HELL WITH PUPPERS, WE HAVE A SONG!"

"Robby Robby Robby! I got your guitar back!" Jim threw the guitar at Robby which hit him in the head and knocked him out. Whoops.

"How did you get it back?" Ray grabbed the paper out of Robby's hand.

"Oh you know...the Morrison way."

"You mean you burned down the gypsy's house?!"

".....Chaotic neutral." John mumbled.

"Well when life gives ya lemons..." Jim looks at the camera and a queued laugh track plays.

*Thomas the Tank Engine theme plays*

The End