"Maybe if you actually listened to me you would understand at least half of what I say, Lennon!"

"Oh Paulie, I'm hurt. How could you say such things?"

The Lennon/McCartney duo were at it again while George and Ringo were playing cards as usual. It was their way of saying "I'm not a part of this, please have mercy on me."

Ringo glanced warily at Paul who made a move to kick John in the crotch but Lennon was already running to the Closet of Safety.
Yes, they called it the Closet of Safety because it was the only shelter from Pol's fury.
John had already shut the door and locked it so Paul knocked on the door politely.

"Who is it?" Lennon called.

"It's Paul."

"Did you bring the Cheetos?"

"Wh-what?"

"THEN LEAVE ME AT ONCE!"

"Come on John, if you come out I won't choke you.....as hard."

"I hope you realize how wrong that sou-"

"Shut your word hole Joj!"

Paul proceeded to knock on the door again.

"Who is it?" John called.

"Housekeeping."

"Wonderful!" John opened the door with a bag of Cheetos which Paul smacked out of his hands and grabbed him by the ear. John let out a girly scream as he was dragged across the floor.

"PLEASE SIR, I AM BUT A POOR LOST SOUL."

"Nice try but that only works in Disney films."

"But-"

George clapped a hand over Ringo's mouth and shook his head.

"What are you even fighting about?" George pressed.

"John left the toaster in the microwave again."

"He's just mad because he's not on the same level of intellect as me." The rhythm guitarist bragged.

George rolled his eyes, "words cannot describe the amount of stupidity that lies within your being, Lennon."

"Be nice George." Ringo pleaded.

"There's only one way that I can punish you." Paul said darkly.

"Making me read Harry Potter to Ringo again?."

"Worse."

John winced.

"You have to write Care Cards."

"What the heck is a Care Car-"

"NOOOOHOHOHOHOOOOO ANYTHING BUT THOSE. PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING. I'LL WASH YOUR DOGS."

"No."

"I'LL WASH YOUR CAR."

"No."

"I'LL WASH YOU."

"No!"

"Hey! I still exist! What is a Care Card?" The guitarist butted in.

"It's basically where you write nice things about a person." Paul explained.

The drummer scoffed, "that doesn't sound too bad."

"IT DOESN'T TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE THE NICEST PERSON IN THIS ROOM!" John scream and stomped his foot.

"Stop being a baby." Paul snapped as he shoved John to the bedroom, "and you're not allowed to come out until they're done!"

"Are you really going to lock him in there for that long?"

"What do you mean?"

"It takes him forever to think of something let alone write it out without making it look like a first grader wrote it."

"George!"

"It's true!"

"Take that back!"

"Make me!"

"I SWEA-"

End of part 1.

Intermission.

George stares at the reader for 5 minutes.

End of intermission.

Part 2.

"Are you sure he's okay? He's been in there for a month."

"We fed him cornflakes from under the door, he'll be fine."

"I think you're taking this a little too far, Paulie."

"It's necessary."

"Lets go check on him!" Ringo chirped.

"Yeah, I'm actually starting to get concerned and I usually never care about him." George added.

"Fine, but just for a second." Paul sighed.

"John? Johnny? You there?" George knocked.

There was no answer.

"Yay! He's dead!" Ringo cheered.

"Ringo!"

"Sorry."

"Paul unlock the door." George ordered.

"What?! Are you mad?! He's probably waiting behind the corner to kill us!"

"DO IT PAUL!"

"Fine fine!" Paul took a Dorito chip and tapped the door with it, "there."

"That's it?"

"Don't underestimate the power of Doritos."

"Fine whatever." The guitarist took a deep breath and made a finger gun. "FBI OPEN UP." and he kicked down the door.

The room smelled like rotten meat and regrets as the three Beatles went in searching for John. No sign of him anywhere except for millions of crumpled up papers on the floor.

"Goshies, what happened here." Ringo winced as he stepped in something sticky.

"A good time." George smirked as he looked at the bedsheets somehow stuck to the ceiling.

"WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO MY KINGDOM!" John crawled out from under the bed.

Paul screamed and hid behind Ringo at the sight of Lennon who was wearing more bedsheets like a toga.

"Hey...you're alive." George said unenthusiastically, "did you get the Care Cards written?"

John's face became dark, "we do not speak of those in my kingdom!"

"....So you didn't get them done?"

"Of course not, why would I?"

"So you spent a month in here not doing the one thing you were supposed to do?!" Paul exclaimed.

"Yep!" Lennon chirped.

"WHY YOU LI-"

End of part 2.

Intermission.

"When are we gonna appear in the story?" Syd pouted.

"In the next chapter." Rick smiled.

"Doubt it. The author doesn't know how to update regularly." Roger rolled his eyes.

"Did you just break the forth wall?" David asked.

Nick gasped, "or did the author?"

They all look at the reader and the screen cuts out.

End of intermission.

Part 3.

"That's the third time today you almost killed someone Paul. You have a problem." George pointed out.

"Maybe if he actually did what he was told then I wouldn't have to."

"You sound like Mimi." The guitarist mumbled.

"I GOT IT!"

"What?"

"THEY'RE DONE."

"My god, he's done it."

John came sprinting down the hallway and ran into the wall.

"Done huh? Let me see them." Paul snatched the cards and gave each one accordingly to the right Beatle.

"You are pretty adequate at playing guitar." George read his aloud.

"You write a lot of songs." Paul read his.

"Thanks for the ham?" Ringo read.

"I couldn't think of anything for Ringo!" John defended.

"These suck."

"These are great! I love them!" Ringo hugged John.

"Is it happy ending time?"

"I thought they were supposed to end in cheesey group hugs."

"You're right."

So the Fab Four all pulled in for a group hug and they lived happily ever after.
Just kidding, if they did then there wouldn't be any more stories so let's just say they lived relatively in peace until the next disaster happened.

The End