I can feel myself drifting off to sleep, my body gets heavier as I sink into the mattress, every tense muscle finally relaxes. 

There in the tranquillity of sleep, I see my mother but she is not how I usually picture her, tortured and in pain, the snapshot of her that is usually burned onto my brain making me relive her last moments, tormented by heroin but this time she is radiant, glowing, fresh-faced and happy.  She is sat in a wooded area on soft flowing green grass that sways with the tender breeze ebbing through bluebells that are darted in between the grass.  She seems completely at peace with herself and her life, there in that moment, I catch a rustle in the grass which at first goes unnoticed by her, the grass is swaying and moving as if something is passing through until it's by her feet.

It's a snake, a tiny emerald green snake that works its way up her leg, she gently picks it up unfazed by it. The snake smoothly works its way playfully through her fingers enticing and entrancing her.  She smiles at the snake as if hypnotised by its beauty, she is amazed and somewhat in awe of its beauty as if it's the most beautiful creature she's ever seen. The snake coils around her wrist as if enjoying the closeness as much as her, the two seem almost united, becoming one.

But then suddenly it bites her, sinking his yellow poisonous fangs deep into her hand, she jumps back startled by her new friend's unprovoked attack and drops him to the ground.  He slithers again up to her, she leans down to pick him up again, she's not ready to give up on him but he coils back like a spring and launches at her swiftly and once again buries his fangs deep into her arm.  This time she staggers backwards then falls back, landing on the moist soft grass.  She lifts up her arm, there is green poison visibly flowing in her protruding veins travelling up her body, her breath is becoming ragged and strained as she panics.

The snake is coiled in a ball it sinks slowly into the grass until completely absorbed by the ground.  The grass where the snake was absorbed starts to die, the ground dries out and cracks, it's as if all life force has been sucked away, from the cracks of the ground a dark black shadowy figure starts to emerge clawing its way out of the dead earth. 

As it emerges the shadowy figure is clearly the physique of a man.  It scratches its way out, the ground cracking and opening as if the very earth is rejecting it until he is standing there watching my mother as she wriggles in pain as the poison floods through her veins attacking her body.  The glow is now gone from her, she has become grey, limp and frail.

With every step he takes closer to her, the grass beneath his shadowy feet die until he is standing above her. He bends down and lays beside her as if he wants to be close to her, he grasps her frail tiny hand as if to take the last bit of life from her, her light dimming with his shadowy touch until she fades away, she is gone.

I shoot upright, my heart pounding furiously in my chest as my mind tries to catch up with my body that I'm awake. The emptiness that is felt by the darkness that surrounds me is overwhelming the only sweet relief is that I'm in my bed, in my home, I'm safe.  Chills are running up and down my body as a cold sweat runs all over by what I've seen.  As scared as I feel, the one thing that is clear, I need to find out who is the snake?  The man who killed my mother.

I wander into the sitting room, dragging a fleece blanket with me, to where Bell is asleep on the couch.  I slide beside her and rest my head on her shoulder desperately needing someone next to me so I can relax to get some sleep and for the first time I need Bell to be my grandmother. She wakes with the weight of me slumped against her.  "Are you ok Jane ?"

I sleepily shake my head, my eyes itchy, heavy and tired.  "Bell we need to find the snake that killed mum!"

She wraps her arm around me and cuddles in, like a proper grandmother holding me tight and making me feel safe  Then she whispers to me; "We will my little Jane and he will pay for what he's done". There in that moment in the dead of night, we make a pact to seek revenge for her, my mother, her daughter.