Anna stood over the basin, trying to steady her breathing. Her morning sickness was prolific, and she was exhausted. She rinsed away the evidence, cleaned herself up, then returned to breakfast. Elli was already gone, probably to call for Inge. The housekeeper brought her tea with a huge slice of lemon in it.

"My mother swore by lemon tea to cure vomiting," said Heidi as Anna thanked her for it. "She loved telling me constantly that I would need that advice one day."

"I'm willing to try anything at this point," said Anna, her voice throaty. She sipped the tea slowly, settling back into her chair. "I wasn't sick at all with Reina. Nauseous, perhaps, but not sick. But with this one, I can barely keep anything down."

Gabby gave her an encouraging look. "They say every pregnancy is different."

"True," sighed Anna. "And with different fathers, I suppose it had to be."

There was a silence.

"Well, at least you're not living in sin anymore," joked Heidi.

Anna looked down at the simple gold band on her finger. She missed Abe so terribly. He'd been gone over a week, and she was still coming to terms with it. She wanted desperately to believe that he was safe, and that he would be home soon. But it was foolish to create false hope. She couldn't help but look back on this same time last year. Hans had just left then as well. Perhaps she was always destined to have people leave her in summer? What a morbid thought.

"Anything arrive in the post?" she asked hopefully.

Gabby's face fell. "No, sweetheart. These things will take time..."

Anna had tucked a secret letter to Abe in his bag, so he'd find it when they arrived in Austria. She had hoped that he would have written back by now. She just wanted to know he had arrived safely. And if there were any updates. This was infuriating. She rose from her chair, excusing herself and going outside. She took a deep, calming breath, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand. She really didn't want to cry again. She wandered down the road to their favourite bar. She had spent every day there since Abe had left.

As she peered in through the open door, Peter, the barkeeper, glanced up at her and gave her a grin.

"You're getting earlier and earlier these days," he laughed, continuing to sweep the floor.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all. You know I like having you here."

Anna smiled at him, going over to the piano in the corner.

One night when Abe had taken her to the bar, he had encouraged her to play the piano. Peter had enjoyed it so much that he had invited her back to play whenever she liked. If ever she needed a break from things, she would come here.

Before it was occasional. Now it was constant.

She began by playing 'Georgia on my Mind'; Hollywood had taught it to her. She wanted something that conjured happy, warm feelings for her husband. But as she played, it didn't feel enough. She loved the way this song made him smile, but it wasn't the same when his grin was only a memory.

Anna stopped, looking frustratedly at the keys, racking her brain for what she should play. She sighed, her fingers now going to Elli's song. That felt like a part of her; an extension of her love for her sister. She closed her eyes and let it wash over her.

Then she stopped again.

The tune in her head felt off. There were different notes running through her mind: something that ran just as deeply yet in a different way. This had happened before; when she had begun writing a song last year. She took a deep breath, now playing the notes she was envisaging. There were so few there, a simple string that made a simple tune. But she knew who had brought them forward in her mind.

Abe.

"Peter," she called, "do you have a paper and pencil I could borrow?"

He came over and handed her what she needed, watching her as she scrawled quick lines over the paper, and jotted the notes down. "My goodness. You write music?"

Anna glanced up. "Sometimes."

"This is for your husband?" he asked.

She stared at him. "How did you know?"

"You looked very dreamy. It was an expression that could only be for a lover."

She gave a small smile.

"I hope he's worth it," sighed Peter, turning back to his work.

"What are you implying?" asked Anna haughtily.

His gaze settled on her again. "I'm sorry, Anna. I don't mean to upset you. I'd just hate to see you get hurt."

"Abe would never do that to me," she replied resolutely.

"I hope not. It's just..." He paused, sighing heavily again. "You seem like a nice, genuine girl," he began. "And most of the Americans were such damn show offs. Why was it one of them that caught your eye?"

Anna stared at him. She wasn't surprised that she was being questioned in this way. Many would see her choice to marry the 'opposing' side as treachery. She was used to being a traitor in people's eyes. She greeted it like an old friend.

"You mean, rather than a German man?" she asked.

"I suppose I do." He came to sit beside her.

"I was engaged before," she said, their eyes locked. "And that was to a German."

"I had no idea."

"He died," she explained. "So it's not something I like to dwell on."

"Did he die in the war?"

"Fighting the Americans, actually. Could have been Abe's exact regiment for all I know."

"Then, I confess myself even more confused as to your choice in husband."

"Because I don't look at people and automatically see an enemy," she explained. "If I had to choose a side in this war, I'm not sure that I could. I don't feel like I belong to either one of them." Her eyes bore into his.

Peter shifted uncomfortably. "So, it's not that you hate your own kind-"

"Far from it," she said, her voice gentle. "But, then again, who are my own kind?"

"Germans-"

"Are you sure?" she asked.

He fell silent again.

She patted his hand lightly. "It's much easier if you just look at everybody as people, Peter. Otherwise it gets horribly confusing." She turned back to the piano, beginning to repeat the notes again.

"Why did the Americans bring you here?" asked Peter, Anna pausing again. "How do you know Gabby and Heidi?"

She smiled at him again. "Does it really matter?"

He smiled back at her.

"No, I suppose it doesn't." He got to his feet. "Good luck with your song," he added, walking away and leaving her alone to contemplate the song before her.

***

Abe downed the last of his beer, then returned his attention to the blank page in front of him. He had hoped that the lakeside would help him to conjure the words he wanted to write, but it was yet to inspire him.

It was certainly beautiful here at Zell Am Ze; entirely tranquil and picturesque. The girls would love it, and that made his heart pine. He had been in Austria a week, and still had yet to write to them.

He didn't know what to say. He felt so dumb. When he was with Anna, he could speak so freely. But he had no idea how to express himself on paper. He found writing so challenging.

Abe glanced at the other letter beside him. It was his mother's response to the letter the girls had helped him to write. He was so sad that it had reached him here. He so badly wanted them to see it. His mother was thrilled, especially as she deduced that his sudden reason for writing was all because of Anna.

Well, she seemed pleased. He knew that she wouldn't be completely happy until she met them. That was her biggest question. When were they all coming home? It pained him greatly that he didn't know. She didn't even know that he and Anna were now married and that they were expecting. They had sent the letter before they had realised that he was leaving for Austria.

When he heard familiar voices approaching him, he shoved the letters in his pocket, pulling out a smoke instead.

"We know what you're doing," chastised Hollywood, sitting beside him as the other three formed a circle. "Why you hidin' it?"

"Ain't your business," Abe mumbled.

"I get you," said Frenchie. "I'm not a keen writer either."

"Perhaps we could help?" offered Sam. "You know, help you express it better?"

Abe said nothing, mulling over the idea.

"Come on Abe," said Ewie, "what have you got to say to her that we wouldn't want to help with?"

He nodded lightly, pulling the paper back out of his pocket. Hollywood grabbed the other letters that came with it, reading the top one before Abe could stop him.

"Aw," he cooed. "Your Momma finally wrote back!" He stood up, clearing his throat as Abe looked at him. "My Abey Baby," he began, doing his best impression of what he believed Abe's mother would sound like as the boys all tittered. "I have been waiting on your letter for years. This woman must be able to work miracles if she's made you put pen to paper." He glanced up over the paper at Abe. "She's got you there, son!"

"Knock it off," called Abe, swiping at him playfully as Hollywood dodged. He jumped up on a nearby rock and cleared his throat again, returning to his impression.

"I can't believe my baby is in love! And with such a beautiful young woman!" He paused again. "Clearly, she thinks Anna is too good lookin' for ya."

"We all do!" laughed Frenchie.

Abe sat back and grinned as Hollywood scanned the rest of the page.

"Actually, this is really sweet," he sighed. "Don't see how I can make fun of this."

"Fuck me," said Sam. "Something finally shut you up! It's a miracle."

Hollywood had now turned his attention to the papers beneath. "You didn't tell me Anna had written you a letter," he said, his eyes pouring over the paper.

"Wait," said Abe sitting bolt upright as Hollywood's eyes widened.

"Oh hell," he said with a huge grin, Abe soon on his feet trying to snatch the paper off him. "Damn, Abe, this is some racy stuff! Who knew she had it in her?"

"Give it back, you shit!" said Abe, grabbing him and tearing the letter out of his grasp.

"What did she say?" asked Frenchie.

"Mind your own," said Abe, stuffing it back in his pocket.

They all looked at Hollywood who was smirking.

"All I'm gonna say," began Hollywood, "if she's as good in bed as she is on paper, then you're the luckiest son of a bitch that ever walked the earth!"

Abe punched him lightly in the gut as everyone else erupted with laughter.

"All right, I've said my piece!" Hollywood acquiesced.

"Damn straight you have," said Abe, but was smiling at him as they both sat down again.

"So is that the problem?" asked Ewie. "Do you not know how to get her hot and bothered when you're writing to her?"

"I barely know how to write," reminded Abe. "All I wanna do is tell her what's going on. She'll worry if I don't."

"So what are you struggling to say?" asked Sam, taking the pencil and paper from him.

There was a pause.

"I don't know how to tell her I ain't got enough points," he said miserably.

Tread had been right all along; they had introduced the 'Adjusted Service Rating score'. Any man with enough points could be sent home. But points were based on length of service, medals for injuries and dependent children under eighteen. Even though Abe had been there since the very beginning, he'd never been seriously injured in battle. Not enough to take him away from the front and earn him a Purple Heart. And Elli didn't count as a dependent child. Legally, she wasn't his yet.

Abe needed 85 points.

He had 79.

If they had counted Elli, that would have been another 12 points... enough to release him. At this point, the earliest he could be set loose was in 3 months, when he earned more length of service points. But they might have been deployed by then. Unless he somehow managed to earn more here in Austria, he'd have to stay in service. And right now that all pointed to Japan.

Abe looked at Sam.

Sam had 84 points. One more month here, and he'd be able to go home.

Sam shifted uncomfortably. He knew why Abe was looking at him with a hint of jealousy. "If I could give you my points, I would," said Sam.

Abe smiled. "I know," he assured him. He let Hollywood light him a cigarette, then took a long drag on it.

"Maybe don't start with the points thing," suggested Ewie. "Perhaps start with how much you miss them?"

"God, how do you put that into words?" grumbled Abe.

"How 'bout... 'I miss you?" said Frenchie, all of them laughing.

"You know that ain't enough," replied Abe. At least he was smiling now. He took a deep breath. "There's somethin' else," he began. "Something I ain't told you boys yet."

"God she ain't pregnant, is she?" joked Hollywood, but Abe just looked up at him. "Oh my god."

"Yeah," said Abe, unable to hide just how happy it made him.

They all slapped him on the back, congratulating their friend. Then a hush fell.

"So then," Abe said finally. "How do I tell my pregnant wife that I'm not coming back just yet?"

They all looked at him sheepishly, unsure of what to say.

"Sam," began Abe, "promise me when y'all get released you'll go and check on her?"

"I promise," said Sam, squeezing his shoulder. "Come on fella; let's write this letter. You can't keep her waiting any longer."

***

Anna sat in the garden, staring up at the sky as Elli danced around, singing to herself. Her hand was resting on her stomach, her breathing deep and calming. She already felt queasy after breakfast and was trying desperately to keep it down.

Anna felt so low today.

Two weeks without Abe had rolled by, and she was missing him more and more. She wasn't very good at cheering herself up. She never had been. She'd go to fantasy worlds, for sure, but they were not soothing. Abe was always so good at pulling her out of her slump.

Karl had been too.

Anna found herself really pining for her friend today. Perhaps it was just that Abe had been a good distraction from the pain of his loss. Talking to Helga only made it worse. Not that she didn't adore her, but she tethered her to him.

She could imagine Karl running with Elli now; she could see his smiling face, hear that infectious laugh. She could see Freddie too, joining in their game. She wished her daydreams were reality.

Unable to hold it in, she got to her feet and just about managed to make it to one of the many empty plant pots that Gabby had lying around for the gardener. She clutched it to her as she vomited, gasping for air.

As if her gagging were an alarm bell, the house keeper came dashing out. She rubbed her back and helped her back onto the grass before fetching her a glass of water. Anna thanked her, her head in her hands as Elli came and sat beside her.

"Are you all right?" Elli asked.

"Of course," said Anna to reassure her. "You know it's just the baby."

Elli's nose wrinkled. "I don't think so."

"Why is that?"

"You look so sad," mumbled Elli.

Anna tried to think of a good response.

"Don't tell me a lie," said Elli, "I know when you're sad."

"I'm just tired," sighed Anna.

Elli frowned at her. "I said don't lie!"

"Elli, it's just one of those things. I'm all right, honestly. I probably just need to go to the bar and practice-"

"Can't you play with me?" asked Elli hopefully.

"I don't really feel up to it right now," murmured Anna. "Perhaps later."

"That's what you always say now a days," huffed Elli. "You weren't like this when we got here!"

"I wasn't pregnant before," Anna reminded her.

"Can't we even play one game now?" whined Elli.

She was never normally this needy. Anna knew why it was. She was missing Abe. But she really was so tired. She just didn't have it in her.

"Later, okay?" insisted Anna, getting to her feet.

Elli shot up too, glaring at her. "Why are you being so horrible?!"

Anna stared at her helplessly. "Elli, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be-"

"You're not looking after me!" yelled Elli, Anna's head hanging low. "All you do is go and play the stupid piano! I hate it!"

"Elli, that's enough!" she said, their gaze meeting. "We are both hurting right now, and we are both coping the best we can."

"I want Abe!" she cried, her bottom lip trembling.

"And so do I!" snapped Anna. "You think you're the only one that misses him?"

Elli was crying heavily, Anna feeling her own tears falling, her heart so heavy again.

"Elli, I'm sorry..." she managed.

Before she could reach out to comfort Elli, she had run away from her, tearing off into the house. Anna sank into the nearby garden chair, her head buried in her hands as she began to cry. This was the first day in so many months she had felt so truly alone. She should be being a better parent to Elli. The poor little mite didn't understand the extent of her sadness and it was unfair to leave her so alone. She wanted to get up and go to her, but she felt so heavy.

Anna heard footsteps coming towards her. Glancing up, she saw it was Heidi.

She came to stand in front of her. "Rough morning?" Heidi asked.

Anna just nodded.

Heidi crouched in front of her. "You know, you are allowed to be sad. You're going to be missing Abe and you're still processing everything from before."

"I shouldn't have shouted at her," sniffed Anna. "This is so hard on her too. I shouldn't make it worse for her."

"Anna, for one moment try not to think about your sister?" said Heidi, Anna's brow furrowing. "Take even a moment to think about yourself. You are clearly hurting and just considering Elli again isn't going to help."

Anna stared at her blankly. "Thank you for being concerned about me." She slowly shifted to her feet. "But she's a child. She needs to be put first."

"Anna," began Heidi, but Anna just squeezed her arm to quiet her. She wiped her eyes and went to Elli's room.

She knocked on the door, hearing Elli sobbing on the other side. It stopped abruptly as Anna's knuckles rapped on the door.

"What?" Elli barked at her.

"Can I come in?" asked Anna.

She didn't respond.

Anna walked in, looking at her sister as she lay strewn across her bed, like a damsel in a movie. Anna couldn't help but smile. She had always been overly dramatic.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, sweet girl," said Anna coming to sit beside her. She pulled out her handkerchief and dabbed Elli's cheeks.

"I don't like it when you shout at me," mumbled Elli.

"I know. I don't like it either," sighed Anna. "I think, it's time we had a little talk."

"Am I in trouble?" asked Elli, sitting up.

"No," promised Anna. "But you wanted me to be honest with you."

Elli nodded emphatically, turning so that she could look at her properly.

Anna let out a long breath. "The truth is, that I am very sad," began Anna, trying her best to think of how to explain everything. "I know I've told you most of what happened whilst we were apart, but there are a few things that you will come to understand when you are a lot older. But everything that happened, I think it has weighed very heavily on my heart."

Anna could feel tears sliding down her cheeks which she caught with the back of her hand.

"I think," she continued, "that meeting Abe made me ignore all of the hurt. I think he did the same for you too."

Elli nodded lightly, sniffing a little.

"We had to survive for so long, my sweet girl," managed Anna, "I think we were just ready to live again. But without him here, it's all come crashing back down on us both. Me especially." Anna was really crying now, her chest rising and falling heavily with sorrow. "I'm not very good at finding the fun in life," she admitted. "I know how serious I am, and trust me, it's horrible living like this. Abe made every day sunny for me; he made the thundercloud hanging over my head disappear. The same way that Karl did once upon a time." Anna hung her head. "I miss everyone so much, Elli. And I'm finding it really hard to know what to do. Because, truthfully, I'm so worried Abe won't come back."

"He'd never leave us!" Elli cried.

"I don't doubt that. But it's not his choices that worry me."

Elli shifted closer to Anna, reaching out and wiping her tears away. "We'll look after each other. Like we've always done."

Anna pulled her sister into a tight hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "I'm so lucky to have you, my Elli."

"Can you just promise not to keep disappearing every day?" Elli asked, Anna drawing back a little to look at her. "I miss you when you go to the bar."

Anna sniffed. "I'll try not to go as much, but it's really helping me to go."

"Why? What are you doing?"

"I'm writing again," whispered Anna.

Elli's eyes were wide. "Music? You're writing a song again?"

"Yes."

"Like mine?"

"Yes."

"And the one you wrote for Hans's birthday?"

Anna fell quiet. "I didn't think you'd remember me humming it to you."

"I liked it," said Elli, then added"I don't like that he has a song though."

"Inspiration strikes at the strangest of times," explained Anna. "And, now I think about it, I began to think up the tune when I must have fallen pregnant with Reina. I think she inspired it as much as he did."

"Then that's what you should call that one," said Elli, "Reina's song."

Anna smiled. "I like that."

There was a pause.

"So, what you're writing now... it's for Abe?"

"Yes, that's why it's helping me, I think."

"Is it called Abe's song."

"No," grinned Anna. "But I suppose it should be. I just call it my nocturne."

"But that's a song about the night?"

"Yes," said Anna switching to English. "And he's my knight in shining armour."

Elli thought it over, then understood. "That's funny," she giggled.

Anna joined in. "You can come with me when I go to play. You can tell me if it suits him."

"I'd like that," said Elli.

Another silence.

"Do you really think he might not come back?" ventured Elli.

Anna's eyes fell mournful again. "I have no idea," she whispered. "And it's driving me mad."

"I miss him so much," said Elli again, hugging her.

"I do too," said Anna.

They heard footsteps hurry up towards them, both of them staring quizzically at the door as Gabby came bursting through.

"It's here!" cried Gabby, dashing over to them. "He's written!" Anna's heart pounded in her chest, her hand trembling a little as she took the letter from Gabby. She wiped her eyes, pulling out her reading glasses as she tore the letter open. Her bottom lip was trembling as she unfolded it, her mouth hinting at a small smile as she saw his nearly illegible handwriting.

"What does it say?!" asked Elli excitedly.

Anna read aloud:

My Darling Girls,

I have been here in Austria for a week and already I miss you so much. Living without you both is pure hell, especially as I know how much you'd like it here. It's so pretty, and I wish I could share it with you.

My little El, I hope you're being good to your sister. I miss you with my whole heart and can't wait for us to get to the States so that you can give all of the animals names and help me raise hell on the farm.

Anna baby, falling asleep without you is the worst. Especially after finding the letter you wrote me. That was like music to my ears. I hope you are feeling okay and that the morning sickness ain't causing you too much trouble. You're my world. I wish I could have you in my arms again.

I wish I had better news for you both. But the truth is, the points system they have introduced won't send me back to you. 85 points is a one-way ticket home. I have 79. I earn more every month, but the earliest they'll let me go is in another three months. So I need you both to keep your fingers crossed that the Japs don't invite us paratroopers over for a visit.

I just need you both to know that I love you so much. You're all I think about. Just know, that I'm safe here in Austria. All I do is gate duty. As long as I get to stay in Europe, I'll be with you both again real soon. Please write back as soon as you can. I'd give anything to hear your voices and see your smiling faces.

With all my love

Abe.

P.S. The boys all say hi.

The silence in the room was palpable.

He was safe. Surely that was the main thing? Why did it hurt so much to know that he had to stay there? She'd be a fool to think this letter would bring word of his return. Anna simply held the letter in her hands, her eyes shut.

"Anna," said Elli's little voice, making her look at her. "Why don't we go to the bar. You can play your song then." Anna managed a smile, nodding as she got to her feet. Elli took her hand, and together, they headed towards that small promise of reprieve.