A/N: Hey!! Welcome to another story of mine!!

Thank you so much for showing interest in "The Cost of Happiness"

Based on my fanfic story: The Cost of Happiness [TXT, BEOMJUN]
Names have changed

Firstly, I wanna thank Chatgpt for helping with this story's ending, and the title 😂😂

The plot of this story is based on true events and a true person with a few tweaks, of course. I also wanted to bring awareness to a tragic event I witnessed years ago; a serious event that is still happening in my country in different places caused by different people and how it can affect their lives. To avoid spoilers, I'll talk more about these topics at the end of this story.

If you'd like to read the fanfiction, you'll find it on my other account TheQuietLoser13 or on AO3, username: TheQuietLoser

⚠️TOPICS DISCUSSED ⚠️
‼️ God and Catholicism: Catholicism plays a huge part in this story. As I mentioned before, it's based on true events.

Please remember, at the end of the day, you believe what you believe. If you believe in a religion, that's alright. If you don't, that's alright as well.

And this book shows MY beliefs in the religion I present myself with.

‼️Mass sh00ting: As I mentioned, I wanted to bring awareness to a serious topic still happening all over the U.s. What inspired me to write on this topic is the Nashville sh00ting on April 3rd, 2023. This story is based on the Walmart sh00ting in El Paso, Texas on August 3rd, 2019.

Geez that was a lot but I'm done now!!😄

Hope you enjoy!!

(2533 words)
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January 15, 2007

Daniél was 19 when he married the girl of his parents' dreams. He remembers the day clearly; the tears of anger that formed with every passing second the minister spoke.

God this, God that.

Daniél was raised in the Catholic church. His entire family were believers, so as a good Catholic son, he was meant to follow in their footsteps and inherit his father's successful business.

He graduated high school in the top 10 and set off to college, majoring in business and engineering while thinking of his dad. When he married a church girl he grew up with and moved out of the house, he thought of his mother. Overall, he never thought of himself.

His wife majored in education and child development for her love of children. But damn, did Daniél envy her.

He understood that as a man, he was meant to be the breadwinner for his family. He had to make good money, but he never got to choose anything for himself.

After the day he got married, he drifted away from any ties to his family until he stopped going to church.

His wife silently watched his faith disperse until there was nothing left.

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January 15, 2015

Daniél was never the kind of person to believe in God, Jesus, the church, or anything involving Christianity.

He was raised around the community but even as a child, he questioned everything the church taught.

There were many things he didn't agree with. Marriage was one of them.

He was taught marriage was for life. Once you get married by the church, that person is your one and only. Otherwise, one commits adultery.

Daniél always feared sinning, always feared going to hell. So he married to honor his mother and father.

By age 27, Daniél was a successful nepotism baby with a successful teacher for a wife. Even with all the money he and his partner made to have everything they wanted, Daniél felt empty.

The couple often argued when she brought up the topic of kids. He'd always dismiss her and their silent treatments would last until the next morning when she'd ask what he wanted for breakfast. Daniél wasn't blind, he knew his wife was unhappy in their marriage too.

Perhaps it was his fault.

He complains about never being able to make his own decisions but he took that opportunity away from someone else as well.

8 years later and nothing has changed. He told himself he needed to learn how to love his wife but he couldn't. He even stopped loving her as he did when they were kids.

One afternoon, he met up with his best friend, Ethan, for lunch.

Ethan had proposed to the love of his life and was looking forward to his best friend being his best man. Daniél accepted without hesitation yet with a hint of jealousy behind his words.

The meeting took an unexpected turn when Ethan mentioned the upcoming A.C.T.S retreat he was going to serve in, recommending his friend to attend.

Daniél declined immediately. There was no reason to go if he didn't believe what they were going to teach.

Yet later that night, he found himself contacting his cousin, who lived in the retreat years ago. After plenty of what Daniél would consider guilt-tripping, Daniél finally gave in and signed up, thinking this would be his opportunity to escape life for a little while.

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March 12, 2015

Daniél had forgotten about the retreat until the day arrived. Even then, he could have missed it if Ethan hadn't reminded him through a call, telling him he had to go to the church where the bus would be waiting for him.

After work, Daniél went home to pack his luggage and have his wife drive him to the church. The married couple stayed quiet until they arrived. He bid her a verbal goodbye before grabbing his luggage from the trunk and shutting the door.

This didn't feel right. Daniél shouldn't be running away from his problems but alas, he had already paid for this retreat. And for the first time in a while, he was choosing something for himself.

He didn't know anybody in the room, nor did he feel like socializing. Instead, he sat at a table and scrolled on his phone in boredom until the organizers walked to the front of the room, announcing their departure.

One team leader, as they called themselves, caught Daniél's attention.

His light brown hair reached just below his jaw and eyes behind the glasses that made them appear larger than they actually were; the tattooed leaves across his right forearm that Daniél knew must have carried a beautiful meaning to them.

This boy might have been the most beautiful person Daniél has ever seen.

But now it wasn't the time to develop a new crush on a team leader, especially if he was a participant.

He got on the bus and chose an empty seat next to the window, where he rested his head and slept until they arrived at the camp-like scenery.

On the first day of the retreat, instead of being at work, he was assigned to a discussion group after they prayed the rosary. Daniél was still dreading coming here. He felt like he had been lied to.

Over the next two days, a team member would present a testimony relating to the A.C.T.S acronym: Adoration, Community, Theology, and Service. Afterward, the team leaders at their table asked the participants about how they felt listening to their speeches or whether they could relate to anything said. Not everyone had to share if they didn't want to but they were encouraged.

At first, Daniél was shy to share something personal but he did cry at the others' stories. And the more they talked, the more comfortable the participants became with letting out everything they kept inside that tortured them.

So Daniél opened his mouth at one point and didn't regret doing so.

He shared about how he was raised in the church, which is something most participants could relate to. He shared about how he drifted away from the church and God because of work and the fear of becoming like his grandpa, a person who shoved religion down his throat. When he'd looked up from the table, his teammates listened attentively, nodding at his every word. Finally, with a knot in his throat and close to tears, he shared about the time he lost someone close to him and blamed it on God.

If God was supposed to be people's lord and savior, why couldn't he save his aunt?

He always hated hearing how it was "God's plan" and how we shouldn't question it. However, as his group talked about it, one of the members brought up the point that God's plan is just the universe's plan.

If the universe gifts you a person for a certain time, it is our job to appreciate them while we have them. Daniél did that. Perhaps that was the reason it hurt so much when she left.

Daniél has always strongly believed that everything happened for a reason, and that was something he never questioned, more appreciated.

God is the universe, a being more powerful than humankind who in the end, wants his children to be happy because he loves them.

God is love.

Daniél learned so many things during the retreat, one of them was the true meaning of being a Christian.

To be a Christian is not about reading the bible, attending mass, or calling every behavior sinful. It's about being a good person, a person that spreads the message of loving everyone while believing that there is an almighty power always there to comfort us during our troubling times.

Daniél returned home with a new, brighter point of view on his life. He learned to be grateful for what God gave him, but he also learned the meaning of happiness.

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When Daniél returned home, he and his wife had a long talk into the night about everything he learned during the retreat. He's been wanting to talk about this for a while but never had the courage.

The married couple dipped their toes in the water by reminiscing their childhood and the memories they had together. All that fun turned grim when they became legal adults.

And suddenly, they were married and never given the chance to fall in love.

They both always dreamt of marrying for love and nothing else. While there was always love in their relationship, it wasn't the kind a husband has for his wife. They both were aware of that.

The night was filled with wine glasses clinking together, giggles, and laughs. Daniél couldn't remember the last time he was this happy with his wife.

In the next few weeks, the process of getting their marriage annulled took place. They connected their parents, went to court to file a petition, and signed any necessary papers. Soon enough, the marriage seemed to have never happened. Daniél stayed at their shared apartment for a while until he found one of his own and moved away.

From then on, the man lived his life for himself.

He began to attend church weekly again, where he would often see his retreat crush serving next to the priest. When he decided to become an active volunteer in the community, he was surprised to find the boy again at every gathering.

Perhaps this was God's way of showing Daniél that he wants him to be happy. That's why he'd always make them meet.

With that small sense of reassurance, he gathered the courage to crack a joke when he got closer to the boy. He loved his laugh, it might have become one of his favorite sounds.

They became closer the more they saw each other every Sunday and every Wednesday after work. Through these interactions, Daniél learned the boy's name: Ryan Cooper, a beautiful name that fit him well.

Suddenly, Daniél looked forward to being an altar server at every mass. Considering they were scarce of people, Daniél and Ryan always served together. From then on, for any church gatherings, Daniél always searched for Ryan and Daniél would like to think his friend searched for him as well.

In front of their God, they fell in love the way a person falls asleep, slowly yet surely.

They were Facetiming one night, close to two in the morning, almost half asleep when Daniél's fuzzy brain let 3 words slip from his mouth.

"Oh shit!" he heard on the other line and all he could do was laugh hysterically. Laugh until Ryan reciprocated his feelings with a tender but sincere smile.

Together, they fell asleep without hanging up the phone.

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January 15, 2017

Dating Ryan proved to be just as fun as being friends with him.

They texted frequently after their confessions, soon gathering up the courage to ask each other on dates outside of the church. That's when Daniél got to know more about his boyfriend as a person.

Ryan occasionally stayed over at Daniél's house. Daniél even gave him a key for whenever he'd like to stop by.

His boyfriend's presence always enlightened something within him. He loved waking up in his arms as the sun rose for another day, loved coming home from work to pick Ryan up and set him on the counter; pepper him with kisses while ranting about how much he missed him, then falling asleep in a place where he felt nothing but safe. He loved coming home late to find his angel in bed breathing soundly and kissing his forehead because Daniél can't seem to be away from him for long.

When their "I like you"s turned to "I love you"s, Daniél asked Ryan to move in with him. Without hesitation but with pure delight, his lover accepted.

And when he was sure they were ready for the next step, Daniél bought a small yet beautiful diamond ring that he couldn't imagine placing on anyone else's hand other than his lover's.

It was going to be perfect. He had the proposal all planned out.

On Ryan's birthday, he took him out on a date while Ethan and his friends secretly decorated the house with rose petals, Christmas lights—because it was all they could find in the closet— and candles, then they'd leave before the lovers returned.

Upon seeing the romantic setting, tears accumulated in Ryan's eyes. Daniél smiled at his reaction, taking his hand to lead him to the center of the room, to the center of all the lights where it felt like it was just them, just them in the center of the universe.

Daniél tells him everything. From how he felt the moment he first saw him, to how he'd like to spend the rest of his life with him. And if he let him, Daniél would spend the rest of his life trying to make Ryan feel the same happiness Daniél felt with him. When he finally got down on one knee, holding out the ring, Ryan's cries intensified.

"Will you marry me?" his lover asked.

Ryan sniffed, swallowed, then let out a quiet "yes" that had Daniél tightening his grip on his lover's waist, lifting him in the air, and spinning him around. Ryan squealed loudly and held onto the back of his fiancée's neck, leaning down to kiss his lips and feeling complete.

They married the following year in January in front of their God, crying because this felt like a dream that none of them wanted to wake up from. Daniél knew their Lord and Savior was looking down on them with pride and contentment.

Because Daniél had finally found happiness. And that was all God ever wanted.

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August 2019

As the years passed, Daniél and Ryan's love did not fade. Instead, it grew stronger.

The couple argued at times, but there was nothing their faith and love couldn't work out.

Daniél especially loved the nights he talked and drank wine with his husband; discussing different perspectives, viewpoints, and beliefs, which made their relationship all the more exciting because there was always something to learn about each other.

He loved being able to hug the love of his life anytime he wanted, to show his love not only through words but through his actions too. Be annoyed with him when he's said the dumbest things but still love him enough to laugh at his husband's clumsiness.

And to be loved by him in return was heaven. Like when Ryan gifted Daniél a scrapbook he made himself, filled with the memories they've created over the last 3 years for his birthday.

Daniél felt and still feels like the luckiest man in the world.

However, he didn't know Ryan planned to make him a similar gift this year since his birthday was about a month away.

At nine in the morning, Ryan got dressed to head to the mall, hoping to be back before his husband woke up. Once dressed, Ryan kissed the other on the forehead, whispering three words before leaving.

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