Saihara's POV:

As I read through the last emails I couldn't help but break a little at the irony, along with wondering if Ouma did ever know about the life his friends had dreamed of. It was never my objective to learn this much about Ouma's friends, no Chiasa's friends as well but it was comforting in a sense knowing more about them, it allowed me to think I was going to finally give them their happy ending as well when I finally brought that man to justice.

But...

I thought over the words Momota had told me, and the tragic short relationship Ouma's friends had, the fleeting moments Kiibo had with Otome...could that one day happen to me and Ouma? Could it be that if I never admitted to these feelings...if I died they would never be known. I also couldn't help but keeping thinking of Ouma, how he would respond to such a confession. I ran this situation through my head thousands of times, each time it was harder to resist the temptation to just tell him, but in the end, I always held back because I should just be his friend. 

How he doesn't need me in that way.

But...but what if he wants this as well? Or even if he doesn't, doesn't he at least have the right to know about this and decide for himself?

It's not like I would stop being Ouma's friends if he rejected me either, I would be heartbroken but at the end of the day...I just want to remain by his side till the end. 

...

Ignoring all my anxiety screaming at me to do otherwise I picked up my phone and dialed a familiar number.

~-~-~-~

Ouma's POV

'This was unnecessary' I told him jokingly. Since it was winter at this point Kiibo and Saihara had seemingly threw every sweater and scarf they could find onto me, "I didn't want to get you sick, Kiibo's scary when he's angry" Saihara told me as I laughed a little.

'Where are you taking me anyway?' I asked as I couldn't help but feel jealous that the neighboring city actually bothered to make wheelchair access easier. You would think a town that had a paralyzed kid for years would have installed more railways by now?

"It's a surprise," Saihara said, for some reason, his hand felt really warm as I felt myself blushing as the train zoomed towards an unknown destination, occasionally I wore hear the names of locations but I still couldn't understand where we were going.

Saihara all the meanwhile mumbled little things to himself, or I could hear him frantically writing in his notebook, he never stopped working hard. I wonder what that was like, I never worked hard enough. I'd spent my entire life just floating around.

I kicked around my one useful leg, the other was really painful today, I had been trying new stretches and supposedly they were working but every time I even attempted to stand I would fall over onto my face.

Finally, Saihara got us out and I heard...creaking wood? I paused confused as I smelled the scent of salt in the air and I gasped in shock, 'you know wheelchairs can't go in the sand right?' I quickly asked. I know he can be dense about these things sometimes but he doesn't actually think this is a good idea right?

"Oh don't worry I do, which is why I got this" Saihara told me as he shook whatever he had in his hands, it sounded metal as it clanged together, 'a chain?' I guessed, "yeah, I'll attach your wheelchair to the bike rack nearby so we can get there," he told me.

'How will I get there then, I still can't walk' I told him, "uh...well don't get embarrassed, it's only five minutes of walking, just well...I might need to carry you the rest of the way?" Saihara quickly told me I could hear his embarrassment as I paused.

'This better be quite the place' I told him eventually, Saihara sighed in relief as I tried not to look that embarrassed or pathetic as Saihara put me on his back and I wrapped my arms around his neck, Saihara was taller than I thought.

Or I'm really short.

I could hear the sounds of the waves crashing in the distance and the laughter of people on the nearby boardwalk, the scent of the sea brought some strange comfort to me as I listened to the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks.

"Have you ever been to the beach before?" Saihara asked, I paused before I started mumbling "n-no...M-Mom...wanted to t-take me b-before...i-it happened..." I told him, I sighed as I wished my voice wasn't that weak and raspy sounding.

Saihara didn't talk much the rest of the way as he finally sat us down on a grassy patch leaning against a rock, "I used to go here a lot with my Mom" he told me, I paused waiting for him to continue, "apparently this is where my Mom met my Dad, they would play by the water for hours and go seeking buried treasure...she used to take me here before her illness left her bedridden..." he told me, I expected him to sound sad but instead, there was a sense of bliss in his voice as he talked warmly about his mother. It even made me smile.

"My...My Mom told me to take my future crush here when...when I was going to..." he started before stopping, my eyes widened in shock as Saihara grabbed my hands and despite all instincts to I didn't flinch as I felt myself blushing hard.

"Ouma...Ouma I'm in love with you." Saihara finally said with a soft voice, I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I trembled in shock.

"I know this is sudden, and I know you probably don't feel the same way about me. But I'm okay with that, I truly am. All I want...all I've ever wanted since that day I met you was to stay by your side, I wanted to be your friend and learn more about you.

"And I doubt you know how much joy I feel when I see you smile, or how proud I am for every milestone you reach or how much you're growing...it made me fall for you, so even if you don't accept these feelings...I wanted you to know," he told me.

...

"I-I...I d-don't...I c-can't..." I mumbled as I wiped away tears in my eyes, Saihara for all it was worth didn't try to convince me otherwise or force me instead he allowed me to calm down, as I sniffled.

"I can't...I d-don't even l-like myself...s-so I don't t-think I'm c-capable..." I paused unsure of how to phrase this, I had never felt such a mix of fear and excitement before...

But I don't deserve this.

And even if I did...do I want this? I couldn't deny the feelings inside me that wanted to be with Saihara...but I don't...

...

'Will you wait for me?' I asked, Saihara paused, 'can you wait...I'm sorry this sounds selfish, but I want to be able to wake up in the morning and be ok with that...I want you to have someone who doesn't have to be the one comforted all the time...so till I can be that person, will you wait for me?' I asked. I felt anxiety rushing through me before Saihara grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly.

"I will"