Chapter Four:

The rain drizzled down gently, drenching my curls and chilling me to the bone. I wished I could go home and snuggle up in my bed, but my parents locked me out and I wasn't in the mood to climb through my bedroom window.

You deserve the cold, you worthless fuck.

"I know that," I whispered.

I rolled up the sleeves to my hoodie that was slowly getting soaked in the rain and looked at my jagged and disgusting scars. I ran a finger over the older ones before moving down to the newest ones. Soon both my forearms would be littered in scars and then I'd have to reopen old wounds.

Brandon would be so disappointed. You should be ashamed.

"I miss him," I whispered.

Bet he doesn't miss you.

I sighed and nodded slightly, acknowledging the last statement.

I continued walking down the roads. The street lamps shined brightly onto the wet asphalt as I walked past each one, watching as it got dark and then bright again.

Eventually, I heard the loud noise of music coming from one of the houses down a street. I looked up at the sign that said the street name, realizing with a jolt that Arron's house was down that street.

I debated silently in my head whether or not I was gonna go down and see what was going on. I knew Arron had decided to have a huge party to celebrate the basketball team winning the most recent game and heading off to Sectionals. Along with that, I knew Gavin Free was being treated as the 'guest of honor' of some sort for his 'legendary' three point shot.

I couldn't help but be a little jealous and hurt. I had made that same exact shot in middle school and because of that I had won State Finals for my team. Gavin was getting treated just as I did for the shot I had made when I was only twelve years old, whilst Gavin was fifteen.

When I made it to the house, I noted that the party was in full swing. People stood out on the porch, drinking what was probably alcohol from red plastic cups or smoking cigarettes. I again debated whether or not I should go inside. If I put my hood up, nobody would notice me, right?

Quit being a wuss.

At that, I quickly flipped my hood up and marched inside.

Nobody really paid much attention to me. Everyone was either drinking and drunkenly laughing, or making out and talking against the wall.

Typical high school parties.

I slowly walked around the house, only knowing my way around from when Arron and I used to be good friends. A shudder went down my spine as I recalled a time when I could almost call this my second home. I blinked away the though as I walked into the kitchen, seeing about eight people in there getting drinks from an assortment of alcohols on the counter. I grabbed a random cup from the counter and took a quick swig from it, tasting vodka and red bull mixed together.

I began to make my way upstairs, shoving past anyone who got in my way. Honestly, I'd be blending in with the other assholes at this party.

Once I was upstairs, I saw all the bedroom doors closed and I rolled my eyes. High Schoolers had the sex drive of a monkey.

Walking past the bathroom, I saw two people in there, one person puking her guts out while the other held her hair back, giggling drunkenly. I again rolled my eyes at the sight, feeling like I just stepped into one of those cliché high school movies.

I stopped when I looked at the glass door that led out to the balcony, surprised by who I saw standing out there.

Gavin was leaning against the ledge of the balcony, drink in hand. Nobody was out there with him to my surprise. He took a small sip of his drink before resuming his dead stare at the floor.

Almost mechanically, I began to walk towards the door. Gavin's eyes shot up to meet mine and he smiled instantly. I couldn't help but wonder why he was so happy to see me. I wasn't anything special to him.

I opened the door and joined him on the balcony, looking down at the backyard that sat below the balcony. The pool was lit up with the underwater lights and there were people out there, swimming in the water and hanging out by the pool side.

"Cool party, huh?" Gavin asked sarcastically.

"I hate high school parties," I replied.

"I know right? Everyone gets drunk, has sex with someone they'd never imagine having sex with, and then passes out at around two in the morning," Gavin said, taking another sip of his drink.

"What are you drinking?" I asked him.

"Honestly, Mountain Dew," Gavin said, smiling slightly.

"You aren't drinking?" I asked.

"I don't really like the stronger alcohols. Plus... I tend to get weird when I get drunk. And really, really stupid," He told me, smiling and giggling at himself.

"Isn't that what happens to everyone?" I asked him.

"I guess. But when you start saying things that wouldn't even be uttered from a three year olds mouth, you really gotta draw the line somewhere," Gavin told me, full on laughing now.

I smirked slightly and nodded, gazing down at the party goers below me. I was actually embarrassed to say that these were the people I went to school with. They were absolutely unbearable.

"So... You never did tell me why you smoke. Or why your mum's a whore," Gavin said suddenly.

I slowly turned my gaze away from the party to him. His light blue-green eyes sparkled like the stars above our heads. His half smile appeared on his face,  almost encouraging me to go on.

But in that moment, I felt something strange in my stomach. An almost sickening feeling. But, it wasn't a bad feeling. In fact... I actually felt my heart begin to beat faster.

His lips were so... Perfect. So pink and soft...

And kissable.

However, in a split second all these thoughts and feelings disappeared with just a few words.

"Well, if it isn't Michael faggot Jones," Arron said.

I felt a shiver rush up my spine and I instantly turned my attention away from Gavin and to Arron instead. Behind Arron stood two other people from the basketball team, Holden and Jared.

"What happened to you, Michael? Everyone said you just randomly disappeared for a while and then you came back like this. Why is that, hmm?" Arron asked.

I kept my mouth shut.

"Not gonna talk, huh? Well how about we make you talk," Arron growled.

Suddenly, I was lifted up by Holden and Jared. They dangled me precariously over the balcony. I felt my heart race and my adrenaline pump as I realized the situation I was in.

"Tell us, you little fag," Arron taunted.

I finally found my voice. The lump in my throat disappeared and I finally met Arron in the eyes.

"Wow Arron, I'm surprised you're parents let you have such a huge party considering you needed a babysitter until you were fourteen years old," I told him calmly. Arron's eyes lit up with anger and he motioned for Holden and Jared to drop me. However before he let them, he said one last thing that I'd forever hear in my head.

"I hope you succeed in your pathetic suicide attempts, you faggot."

And I was dropped.

I plummeted down and landed squarely in the pool water below. I sunk all the way to the bottom of the pool and didn't move or attempt to swim to the surface.

And as I laid at the bottom of the pool, it hit me that you didn't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.

I thought about staying there, under the water. What an ironic way to go out, wouldn't it be? After he wished me success in my attempts and as I plummeted down to the water below, I actually end up dying in the pool that he owned. It crossed my mind in that moment that he'd probably get accused of murdering me. Along with Holden and Jared. And possibly even Gavin.

I felt the water begin to chill my bones and my lungs began to ache with the lack of oxygen. Sucking in water at this point seemed blissful. Or maybe even comforting.

My head was beginning to throb and I relaxed my eyelids as unconsciousness swept over me.

However, as I felt my mind begin to slow down and my rational thoughts stop I felt a sudden burst of energy erupt through me and I suddenly broke the surface of the water.

Despite my will to die in the clear, cold water, I still sucked in a breath of air. I slumped forward, feeling my head hit wet fabric. I tried to open my eyes and see what was going on but I was much too tired to do such a thing.

So I let myself fall asleep.
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Hello! Chapter four is finally posted. This is probably my favorite chapter so far. It was a lot more progress filled than the past ones.
Anyway, please let me know what you thought! I love to see your lovely comments! They always motivate me to keep writing.
Thanks for reading!