Conspiracy Theories

Amneris: "Oh, this has got to be my favourite thing about Humans."

Colt: "I really do not understand your fascination with them. Especially the space and ancient city ones."

Amneris: "The Humans have no idea how close they actually are to the truth! It's hilarious!" 

Colt: "Why don't you provide some examples to said Humans?"

Amneris: "Sure. Why not."

Amneris: "Firstly, the multiverse theory. Totally legit. I should be proof of that cause I'm a multiversal goddess and live in the centre of the multiverse."

Colt: "Big headed much?"

Amneris: "Piss off. Anyway, instead of stars in our sky, we have multiverses."

Colt: "Don't we have a sun?"

Amneris: "Two suns, and that's a long story that I'm not jumping into."

Amneris: "Next, the Maldek theory. Utter bullshit. Good theory, but until I actually find proof of it, it remains in the bullshit category. Yes, it's not impossible that what you call the Asteroid Belt used to be a planet, but the Maldek theory - especially the part where the gods allowed the Humans there to be reincarnated on Earth and . . . Okay, I'm about to contradict myself so I'm just gonna go onto the next one." 

Colt: *facepalm*

Amneris: "Shut up."

Amneris: "Okay, we're going to move onto the Mu and Lemuria theory. I'm just gonna clear a few things up with this one. First, Mu is the name of the continent and Lemuria is the name of the city. Get it right, people!"

Colt: "You're getting off topic."

Amneris: "Oh, right. So, anyway, Mu was in what I think Humans of Earth call the Pacific Ocean. How do I know that it and the city of Lemuria exist? Think about it. I come from a planet called Lyriumia. Lemuria. Lyriumia. Sound familiar? That would be because some of my people were the ones who created that city with the help of the Humans of that time. Then the Terpolites destroyed it, but that's a story for another time."

Amneris: "Moving swiftly along! Atlantis was also legit. The continent Atlantica was where the city of Atlantis was located. I know, not very creative. It becomes even less creative when you add in that Humans call that part of the seas the Atlantic Ocean."

Colt: "I thought out people -"

Amneris: "Yes, our people created the city so that means we're the not very creative ones. Atlantis was pretty much Lemuria 2.0. Then the Terpolites set off a volcano which triggered what I believe many of you refer to as the Great Flood? Do correct me if I got that name wrong because you lot have so many Great Floods in your history that I can't keep up!"

Colt: "Amazing how no evidence has been found of those two cities."

Amneris: "I'd be amazed if they ever find anything. The Terpolites were . . . thorough."

Colt: "You should tell them about Nibiru and Nemesis."

Amneris: "Oh, gods, I can't stand the Annunaki! They're so full of themselves and always bragging that they're so powerful and strut around like 'OOOO LOOK AT ME I'M AN ALIEN AND I'VE GOT THESE AWESOME POWERS THAT COULD KILL EVERYONE'! They think they're gods and it's just - just so - ugh!"

Colt: -_-

Colt: "I'm not going to comment on that statement."

Amneris: "What's that supposed to mean?!"

Colt: "Nothing. Continue."

Amneris: "Hmm . . . Well, you Humans refer to them as Annunaki, Angels, and I think the Nephilim but I could be wrong about that one. Your religions are so confusing. Why can't you just settle on one instead of having hundreds?"

Colt: "Please don't answer her question. Ignore it and move on."

Amneris: "They went to Earth in search of gold - their civilisation runs on the stuff, I swear - and spouted a few doomsday prophecies while they were there. I think one of those was related to your 'the world is gonna end in 2012' things. Obviously, that didn't happen."

Colt: "Looks more like it will be 2021, doesn't it?"

Amneris: "Yep. I hope not. I like the Human I chose to share all these things."

Colt: "Somehow, I doubt she thinks highly of you."

Amneris: . . .

Amneris: "ANYWAY. The Annunaki claimed their world - Nibiru - would come back into your solar system and bring about the end of the world or, at least, some sort of massive event every 3,600 hundred years. As someone who has been able to travel to Earth for over 5,000 years, I'm pretty sure they were just trying to scare you lot. Um, don't quote me on that. They could have just miscalculated. They're not the smartest race I've met."

Amneris: "Final conspiracy theory for the day! Nemesis. The Dark Sun. Your Evil Sun. The Second Sun. Your Sun's long lost twin."

Colt: "I'm sure I know exactly how Nemesis will feel when reunited with its twin."

Amneris: "And I take much offence to that statement, my dear Sn'da."

Colt: "Of course you do, Tali."

Amneris: "Now, hush. You're distracting me."

Amneris: "Nemesis is the name people have given to your sun's twin. Suns are usually born as a binary system, meaning they are born in pairs. This is extremely common in your universe. Strangely, you lot ended up with just one sun. Naturally, this isn't true. I've come across Nemesis in my travels."

Colt: "By that she means, 'while I was searching for proof that this is real'."

Amneris: *ignores him* "Your world has this random mas extinction thing every 26 to 27 million years. Surely, you've noticed this by now. The last time that happened was, I think, about 65 million years. Oh, I don't think this theory works for your Earth because the dinosaurs were around for over 100 million years. Of course, after that asteroid hit, some dinosaurs survived of about half a million years afterwards."

Colt: "Contradiction."

Amneris: "I mean, it's not impossible to survive an asteroid strike. It all depends on where the asteroid actually strikes. Either way, there's gonna be some sort of mass extinction which I'm pretty sure there's evidence for on your world. Or it could have been another world."

Colt: "Nemesis."

Amneris: "Right, right, right. Nemesis occasionally goes past the outer area of your solar system and stirs things up in a bad way which ends with asteroids and comets racing towards your planet and possibly impacting it. Actually, come to think of it, there was supposed to be another asteroid strike on your world 37 or 38 million years ago. It never hit. Wonder what happened there."

Colt: "Maybe it is late?"

Amneris: "Yeesh. That would suck for the Humans."

Colt: "But it's nothing to lose sleep over! It shouldn't take place in any of your lifetimes."

Amneris: "'Shouldn't' being the word in that statement."

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