The medication the doctors give Beomgyu makes him a bit sleepy. As he walks to dinner with Yeonjun, he struggles to keep his eyes open. One foot in front of the other. Don't reach out to Yeonjun's hand. No matter how much he wants to.

Taehyun, Soobin, and Huening Kai are waiting for them on the same table. Tonight's dinner is tomato pasta with snow cheese. Beomgyu hates tomatoes, but he'll allow them in pasta.

His appetite is a bit better. He eats to make up for the light breakfast and lunch he had earlier.

"I want to sleep all day too," Huening Kai says. "I guess it's just an effect of the medication."

"Well, being your roommate is a drag," Taehyun says after a bite of pasta. "Because you snore."

Soobin laughs loudest of them all. Beomgyu notices the tall boy is quite shy, and he feels an enormous amount of sympathy for him—along with the other two boys, who have been quick to attempt to be his friends. Yeonjun seems to like the three of them as well. Beomgyu makes a note to keep in touch with them even after their discharge. They'll have to exchange contact information.... Is that even allowed here?

"What are your dreams?" Beomgyu asks, as they slow down eating. The hospital gives quite big portions.

"I want to be an idol," Taehyun says.

"Same here," Huening Kai says, at the same time Soobin says "Me too."

Beomgyu has always believed in fate. This is another big proof. Yeonjun doesn't believe in God like he does, but the older boy doesn't mind when he prays before tests or before an evaluation of their performances. Beomgyu realizes that even if he didn't pray for this moment, God brought them here together. There's no doubt about it.

"I'm sure we'll all achieve our dreams," Yeonjun says, breaking the reverent pause in their conversation. "Together."

After dinner, Beomgyu heads out to the courtyard with Yeonjun again. This time, most of the patients are too tired to play sports.

A strange desire comes over Beomgyu. Some vitality returns, and he stands up before losing the nerve. "Choi Yeonjun will show you all a deadly performance!" he yells. "Please give it up for him!"

Yeonjun pulls at him with wide, uncertain eyes. "Beomgyu! What are you doing?"

Beomgyu smiles, sitting back down and lowering his voice. "It'll cheer everyone up. And it'll be good practice. If we really do perform on stage one day, you have to get used to the crowd."

A chant begins, started by Taehyun on the other side of the courtyard. "Choi Yeonjun! Choi Yeonjun! Choi Yeonjun!"

Yeonjun breaks out into a nervous grin.

Beomgyu knows his friend best. Choi Yeonjun may be shy at first, but he loves the attention. He comes alive in the heat of it, like an alchemist's metal turned to gold. It's why he's the it boy. It's one of the many, many reasons why Beomgyu loves him so much.

"Okay, okay," Yeonjun, pattering his hands in a calm down motion. "Can we get some music, please?"

One of the male nurses busts out his phone and Bluetooth speaker. Together, he and Yeonjun search for an appropriate song.

Sitting alone, Beomgyu has no control over the smile on his face. He always feels so incredibly elevated when watching his friend perform. He's only had the opportunity to perform with him several times—in the end of the year talent show at their creative arts school. It was an electrifying feeling. Now that he isn't fit for singing right now, he'd gladly watch Yeonjun burn the stage and leave every patient wanting an autograph.

Beomgyu leans back, grasping onto a rare semblance of peace that's been hard to find in the ward.

When you cannot give anything, when your voice fails and all you can do is sit back and show the weakness of being human in the silence, there will always be someone. Someone to dance for you, to compensate for your lack, to soar when your wings feel clipped.

Yeonjun has always been that person for Beomgyu.

They settle on "Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles. The beat begins, and Beomgyu is surprised just how loud the Bluetooth speaker is. Technology sure has come a long way... since he and Yeonjun were twelve and they just began playing with the first generation of smartphones. They still listened to the radio back then....

Yeonjun takes his time. He gets comfortable in the beat, circling in the center of the courtyard. He's getting into his persona—the brazen confidence Beomgyu loves so much. He knows a bit of what to expect, even though Yeonjun surprises him every time with the movements he manages to invent.

"Go Yeonjun!" Huening Kai yells, sitting in between Taehyun and Soobin.

And Yeonjun starts. His body is like water, flowing in every direction and unable to be contained. He shuffles his long legs, contrasting it with isolated movements in his arms. He pops his shoulders, maneuvering his hips. To Beomgyu's right, a few girls his age begin to screech.

Yes. He has that effect on me too.

When the song reaches its chorus, Yeonjun explodes. He widens his reach, faking a fall to twist himself over in a backflip sequence. Beomgyu recognizes the fierceness in his face, the need to be a performer that people remember. If Beomgyu will never make it in the industry, he knows Yeonjun will. He's just that good.

Yeonjun capitalizes on sexy moves, thrusts and body waves. Finally, the song reaches the bridge. And too exhausted to continue, Yeonjun signals to the nurse to stop the song.

What a sight. Yeonjun dancing in Beomgyu's pajamas in a psych ward. Beomgyu never pictured this day, not even in his most random of dreams.

The whole ward, thirty plus teenagers, erupt in a thunderous applause. Yeonjun even receives a standing ovation. He bows for the delight of his newfound fans.

When Yeonjun returns to Beomgyu's side, he's sweating and panting. Beomgyu can't help but notice the perspiration trickling near his eyebrow. He wants to reach out, swiping it away. He also wants to trace his finger along Yeonjun's jaw.

But he does neither of those things. After all, Beomgyu is here to get better, not to confess his love. Even if he knows Yeonjun feels the same way, he has to have some self control. How is he supposed to love if he cannot take care of himself?

His mother taught him one thing since he was a child. If you want to love someone, you have to love yourself first. Cheesy, but it stuck with him. Even though his mother would a hundred percent not approve of him liking another boy, the same has to apply, right? Love has no boundaries.

Yeonjun sits next to him again, and the night trickles on as the courtyard shifts from the buzz of a phenomenal performance back to the norm.

The teens here are all dealing with their own shit, Beomgyu realizes. That's why the air is so uncertain and filled with worry. The nurses, doctors, and medication can only do so much. They're all fighting with some sort of hopelessness. Some show it more apparently, others are better at hiding it.

Beomgyu wishes he was better at hiding it. He wishes he could've hid it forever so that he wouldn't have to be locked up here.

The bright side is that Yeonjun is here with him. Reckless, loyal Yeonjun, who faked his way to be by his side—not even knowing whether he'd be able to be his roommate or see him often.

They've always shared their last name. They've often been called brothers by their teachers and classmates. Beomgyu knows however, that Yeonjun's love goes beyond a sibling relationship.

There is a fire there, a compassion that Beomgyu hasn't experienced with any of his other friends. He won't let it go to waste.

Hey! I know we all might be reading at different times in the year. What month is it now for you? Please have a great season, wherever you are.