I'm calling B.S on Penny's confession. It's been two months since she kissed me, and since then she's more then drifted away. To be honest, I think it has to do with the accident. I've tried to understand her point of view. I've even tried talking to her about it, but she denies every accusation I make. I've asked her if my missing leg creeps her out. Obviously, she said 'no', but I can't decide if I believe her.

Maybe she's just far more shallow than I ever realized. She wanted me when I was whole, but the moment that changed, so did her feelings. I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. When I see pictures of her and the gang out climbing or cliff jumping into the Apple River Canyon, it stings.

Thankfully, Dillon doesn't seem to be a part of very many of their adventures anymore. On occasion, he'll join them, but he's been spending most of his weekends with me. I guess he felt so guilty for abandoning me the last time, that he now only does it when he knows for a fact that I have other plans and wouldn't be able to go anyway.

As I sit pondering my friendships, the doorbell rings. It's a Tuesday night, but that doesn't stop me from wondering if Dillon has decided to pop by for a bit. My mom's working a late shift, making up for time lost while taking care of me, so answering the door is now my responsibility.

Maneuvering is growing easier with each day, and I'm able to push myself up from the couch with ease. I walk to the door and pull it open to find Clarice standing nervously on the other side.

"Hi," she says, her voice soft and unsure.

"Hey."

Clarice was strange for a while after the accident, but she seems to have grown used to my new condition. While she doesn't give up her time outdoors to be with me, she also doesn't ignore me like Penny and Drew do. That doesn't mean I'm not surprised to see her standing outside my door though. Actually, it's quite the contrary.

"Can I come in?" she asks, standing on her tiptoes to peer over my shoulder and into the living room.

"Uh, sure." I open the door wider and watch as she strolls through the door and makes a beeline for the couch, making herself at home. "You want a drink or anything?" I ask, closing the door and making my way towards her.

"No," she tells me without pause. "I just came to talk."

I nod once, taking a seat on the La-Z-boy across from her. I watch as she wrings her hands together, twisting the jewelry around her fingers nervously.

"So..." I begin, but she cuts me off.

"We've only got a week left," she says, jumping right in.

I can tell she didn't intend to lead the conversation is such a way because her eyes grow wide for a moment and then she drops her gaze to the floor.

"I just..." she pauses to glance up at me and a hint of frustration weaves a dip into her eyebrows. "Could you come sit over here? You're so far away."

I look at her for a moment, confused as to why it would matter where I'm sitting. But, rather than make a big deal out of it, I nod once and make my way to the couch. I take a seat on the opposite end before returning my attention to her unsatisfied expression.

Sighing, she turns to face me, edging her way a couple inches in my direction. "So," she starts again. "I came by because... I miss you."

"Okay?" I answer slowly, confused. "But I literally see you every day."

"I know," she says, bobbing her head up and down. "But, like, we don't really talk anymore."

"Then let's talk," I say, folding my arms over my chest.

She smiles, clearly pleased that I've given in so easily, and for some reason, I feel like I've been set up. It's as if I've just been lured into her trap and I'm worried about what she has planned. I've always known Clarice to be the somewhat ignorant one who doesn't realize that everything she thinks and feels is made obvious by how she acts. But today, she's acting as if she's actually planned something out, and I'm not sure I'm going to like it.

"So," she starts, "what are your plans once you graduate?"

"Good question," I say, smiling. "I don't have a clue. It seems that having your leg torn off by a truck can cause huge roadblocks in a person's life." I regret the sarcasm the moment it leaves my lips, but what I regret more is the look of sympathy that has Clarice inching her way across the sofa towards me.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles, sliding a finger over my left arm.

A shiver slides over my flesh, and I'm not sure if it's from her useless response or the feel of her skin on mine, but I find myself carefully pulling my arm out of her reach.

"Have you considered going to Monmouth College?" she asks, curling a strand of hair around her finger.

"Isn't that where you're going?" I wonder aloud, my brows dipped as I watch her odd behavior. I'm feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

"Yeah." She nods, her smile giving away her hope.

She wants me to go to college with her. Is she completely delusional? I get my answer a moment later when she shifts positions and runs a hand over my shoulder.

"Clarice," I say, dodging any further advances as I swiftly push myself out of my seat. The sudden movement sends a jolt through my bad leg, but I ignore it. I stand hovering over her, my guts twisted and skin itchy from the scenario that just played out. "What are you doing?"

Her face falls, and I watch her shoulders slump as she takes a deep breath. "This was stupid," she mutters, mostly to herself.

"Are you..." I hesitate for a moment, watching her sullen expression as her eyes lift to meet mine, "hitting on me?"

"Oh gosh!" She throws her hands over her face, embarrassment evident in the reddening of her pale cheeks. "I knew this was a horrible idea. I don't even know why I agreed to this." I'm not sure if I'm supposed to catch the last part of her statement, but I definitely do.

"Someone told you to do this?" I ask. "Who?"

Her eyes find mine, tears glistening in the light blue of her irises. "Penny. She just kept pushing me to make a move on you. I mean," she laughs without humor, throwing her hands up in defeat, "it's not like my feelings are a secret. Penny told me what she did. She told me that you knew how I felt, but she kept persuading me to make a move."

"Like she did?" I say, glad to have the secret out in the open. But, from the look on Clarice's face, she hasn't got a clue what I'm talking about. "Crap," I mumble. "She didn't tell you, did she?"

"What?" Clarice asks, a sense of desperation and dread woven into the single word. "What didn't she tell me?"

"Oh, man," I groan, rubbing a hand down my face. Why? Why did I have to get caught up in all this? "Look, Clarice," I say gently. "It's not my place, but I honestly believe that you and Penny need to sit down and have a long chat. I thought she would have told you what happened between us by now, but the fact that she hasn't bothers me a lot. If she's really the friend you think she is, she'll be honest. Just ask her."

"I'm not going to like her response, am I?" she says, her eyes distant, like she's already determined the answer.

"No," I tell her honestly. "You're not, and I'm really sorry."

------

I get the impression that Clarice must have left my house last night and immediately gone to seek out Penny because all morning they've been avoiding each other. Somehow, I feel like the one in the wrong, which doesn't make sense. I never hid that I liked Penny, and I most certainly was open about my lack of feelings for Clarice. The fact that I kissed Penny back doesn't make me a bad person, and yet, I feel awful.

Somehow, I end up behind Clarice in the lunch line, and I know she doesn't see me until I open my mouth to speak.

"So, I'm guessing it didn't go well," I say, startling her enough that she swivels around to face me as if she's just been caught red-handed. When she sees it's only me, her shoulders relax, and her face falls into a soft scowl.

"Nope." She turns back around and moves forward in the line.

"Look," I say, my voice gentle as I wrap my fingers around her bicep to get her attention. "I'm really sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I may not have romantic feelings for you, but that doesn't mean I don't respect and love you as a friend." She doesn't look back at me, but I can tell she's listening. "I still feel bad for playing a part in all this, and I hope you can forgive me for being weak, but—"

"Jamie," she says, spinning quickly to face me. She grabs both of my shoulders in her grip and eyes me seriously. "Yes, I'm mad. I'm furious even. This entire scenario is making me sick, but I'm honestly not mad at you. I've known that you've liked Penny for a while," she tells me, my eyes widening with this revelation. "Heck, even a dead monkey could sense your awestruck love for her, but I guess I just always hoped something would change." She drops her hands from my shoulders and relaxes her expression, a sadness falling into her demeanor. "Every girl hopes she'll be the one to magically open a man's eyes to something special deep inside of her, but I've learned that that belief is simply fantasy."

I'm about to object to this, but she catches me before I can, shaking her head as if to say 'don't even try to deny it'.

"The real reason I'm mad is because my so-called best friend went behind my back, using me as bait to snag a guy she never really cared for," she goes on to say, a look of apology crossing her face. "Sorry."

I wave it off. "It's fine," I tell her. "I already knew she didn't feel anything for me."

"It just hurts, you know?" she says, clearly needing to get all of this out in the open. "It feels like she did it on purpose just to hurt me. And now, she's not even talking to me." She throws her hands out to the side in astonishment. "Like, really? She hurt me and when I confront her about it, she gets mad?"

"Yeah," I agree. "I've started to consider the fact that Penny might not be the type of person I imagined her to be either."

This snags Clarice's attention away from her rant. Her eyes peer up at me, a look of surprise shining from their blue depths. "Really? You feel it too?"

"Yeah," I nod, "since she kissed me. Her entire mission that day was to sway me to like you, and then suddenly she was kissing me. It didn't make sense, and I couldn't understand how a friend could do that to someone she loves."

"Right?" Clarice gasps. "It doesn't make sense."

"Well," I say, nudging Clarice to take a step forward in the line. "There is good news in all this," I tell her once she's returned her attention to me. "It's possible to get over someone. I liked Penny for nearly six months before my feelings started to fade, but they're definitely fading now." I smile at the blonde in front of me, hoping to offer encouragement. "So, there's a chance you'll move on too."

"You're right," she agrees with a nod, but then her face falls again. "The only difference is that you'd never lie or cheat to get what you want. You're an honest, good person, and it's a lot harder to let go when a person gives you every reason to hold on."

-----

Clarice's words stick with me all through lunch, and even now as I meander my way towards the back of the library. I thought Lynn was the only one who could see the good in me, but it appears that Clarice has the 'vision' too. She can see good in me even when my world is clouded in darkness.

I'm still considering the absurdity of Clarice's feelings for me when Lynn taps my good knee with the toe of her shoe. I'm seated on the floor, my back leaned up against the wall, so I have to tilt my head back to get a good look at the girl in front of me. She smiles as she throws her bag down beside her and joins me on the ground.

"You look deep in thought," she observes, her eyes taking in my expression with great interest.

"Yeah," I confirm. "It seems that some people see me as a better person than I really am."

"Hmmm." Lynn nods her head slowly up and down, contemplating my words. "So, what makes you not such a great person?"

Her question catches me off guard because honestly, I haven't really considered it before. I've always just put every person into that category of 'messed up in their own sort of way', including myself, but I haven't even put the energy into figuring out my own faults. I lean my head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling as I think about it.

"Clearly, you saw my lesser qualities over the last few weeks," I say, not proud of having to admit it. "But in general, I can be pretty darn selfish. I can also be extremely stubborn. Like, I even annoy myself with my stubbornness. But, even when I know I'm wrong, it's hard for me to let things go. I just push and push a topic until the other person can't take it anymore. I feel successful when the other person gives up before I do."

I hear Lynn laughing at my confession, and tilt my head down to glare at her.

"What?" I defend. "You got something better?"

"No," she says, her smile still teasing at her lips. "I'm basically perfect. Though, I'm horribly rude in the mornings. Like, I don't have much of a filter to begin with, so just imagine the things that come out of my mouth in the mornings when I literally don't care about anyone's feelings."

"Oh, I think I'd love to see you be 'rude'," I say, using air quotes around the word.

"You sure?" she challenges. "I'm pretty brutal."

When I don't bother to take back my words, she simply shrugs as if she doesn't care.

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"So," I start to ask, "when do I get to see rude Lynn in action?"

"Tomorrow," she tells me, "when you pick me up for school."

"What?"

"You heard me," she says proudly, but then her smile slips and is replaced with a look of horror. "Wait, can you... drive?"

Now it's my turn to laugh. The look on her face is absolutely golden. I lose one leg and the world thinks I'm handicapped and deaf, dumb, and blind. My laughter seems to make her feel worse because she pops me hard on the shoulder with her fist.

"Shut up," she warns. "You'll bring out my morning 'ugly' right now if you keep laughing at me." She pauses for a moment and then soothes a hand over the bruise she's probably just created. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I laugh, shrugging off her abuse. "I'm sure it probably hurt you more than it hurt me."

She sticks her tongue out at me and then nods. "You're right, it did." She grabs my bicep in her hand and squeezes. "Gosh, how much do you work out? I swear you've got concrete injections in your muscles."

"As weird as that image is," I say, enjoying her attention on my physique, "I don't really mind that comparison."

"Well," she huffs, "I wasn't trying to flatter you. Honestly, I like a guy who's a bit thinner. I want to be able to arm-wrestle him and actually have a chance."

"Really?" My eyebrows raise in doubt at her odd confession.

Her chuckling is the only response I get for a whole twenty seconds, and then she abruptly stops. "No, of course not. Gross." She shutters animatedly. "I want a man who can easily carry me up a mountain, or fight off a pack of bears—"

"Bears don't work in packs."

"—or carry all my shopping bags, or school books, or save me if my hair gets caught around a branch while I'm swimming and I can't get free and I start to drown because the branch happens to be three feet under water due to severe flooding."

"That's oddly specific."

"Yeah, well," she shrugs. "That's because it happened once. I was five, and it was monsoon season in Thailand. The field behind our house flooded really bad and I thought it'd be a blast to go swimming... until it wasn't. My dad had to dive into the water and cut a chunk of my hair out with his pocket knife. It didn't make for the most brilliant fashion statement of the year, that's for sure."

"Got any pictures?" I ask, sort of teasing, but mainly serious.

"I did... once," she admits. "But my mom had a grand ceremony burning them all in my backyard fire pit."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," she says, laughing. "She was more ashamed of them than I was. Honestly, I would have loved to have looked back at those pictures just to make fun of myself."

Our conversation gradually shifts to more serious topics and we find ourselves discussing the future. Lynn's still got another year of high school left and has yet to determine what she wants to do with herself once she graduates. Just the idea of graduating has me almost desperate for another change in topic, and it's clear that Lynn can sense my disinterest in discussing my future.

She shifts her body so that she's facing me full on, all joking absent from her features as she watches me closely.

"Hey," she says, her voice soft, hesitant. "What's going on in there?" She points a finger at my head. "You just shut down a little."

"Yeah, sorry," I concede. "I just had such a sure idea of what I wanted for my future, and now that can't happen."

"What?" she says, startled. "Why not?"

"Because of this," I tell her, bitterly flinging my hands out towards my artificial leg that's stretched out in front of me. "This is just a temporary prosthesis. It's gonna take five months of wearing this thing and making minor adjustments to it before I'm ready for something more permanent. In the meantime, I'm still in physical therapy and seeing a therapist for all the mental trauma crap."

"I guess I just never realized all that went into having a prosthesis," she admits. "As much as you probably despise hearing this, I really am sorry." She smiles at me and I can't help but return a smile of my own. "But, you mentioned being selfish earlier, and I should probably let you know that I'm pretty selfish myself."

"Oh?" I ask, curious. "How so?"

"Well, while you're sulking in misery," she says, playfully nudging my arm. "I'm over here thrilled to know you'll be sticking around for a bit longer."

---

So, how do you feel about the Clarice and Penny situation that Jamie's dealing with? 

Finally, we're seeing progress with Jamie and Lynn!! Whoo hoo!!! Party!!! *throws confetti*

Teaser: Next chapter might possibly involve a little heat between Jamie and Lynn... *wiggles eyebrows*