THIRTEEN - YANG JEONGIN, WHAT HAPPENED, AND A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING
WHEN JEONGIN opened his eyes, he was met with the harsh rays of the sun which caused a dull headache to spread across his forehead. he quickly shut them once more, not prepared to face the blinding light again, and tried to recollect himself.
where am i? what's going on? what happened? a flurry of thoughts raced through his mind as he tried to remember everything. i was with chan, and then we went further out, and then i tried to surf on my own and then... jeongin struggled to recall anything after that and gave up trying after a short while. he instead focused on using his senses (minus sight, of course, since he wasn't about to burn his eyes out of his sockets) to try and figure out where he was.
he could hear the sound of waves calmly lapping against a shoreline as well as faint hoots and hollers, probably from further out. he slowly stretched out his leg and found— with some surprise— that it touched something gritty and blazing hot. that's probably sand, he thought, so what am i laying on? he felt around with one of his hands, eyebrows scrunched in concentration and discovered that he was on something soft and a little bit fuzzy. ah. this is a towel.
one of jeongin's arms was starting to go numb since he was laying on his side, so he attempted to shift around to get more comfortable. however, when he tried to roll onto his back, he found that he was stopped by something large and warm. what the hell? what is this? jeongin thought with slight annoyance and turned his head to face it properly. with great caution, he peeked one eye open, letting his vision adjust before trying to figure out what exactly was preventing him from getting comfortable.
"pale" was the first thing that popped into his head, and after a couple of seconds, he realized that what he was staring at was someone's back. huh? what sort of creep thought that they had the right to lay down next to me while i slept? the biker thought with a frown. but his expression quickly morphed into one of utter shock when his eyes traveled upwards and found a head of messy silver hair right above him.
jeongin couldn't help himself from letting out a little squeak. holy fuck chan is sleeping right next to me—
"he stayed with you the whole time." jeongin nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of a voice sounding out next to him. he flipped back around to see minho sitting next to him on the sand, eyes glued to the ocean.
"'the whole time'?" the younger boy questioned. "what do you mean? wait... minho, what happened?"
the biker closed his eyes and sighed before reopening them, eyes still fixed on the glittering waves. "you were surfing and then a big wave came and you ended up going under. chan dove off his board as soon as it came down and went after you. both of you were underwater for so long that the rest of us thought..." he paused and took a breath. "we thought you were dead, but soon enough he came up with you in his arms. the other surfers immediately swam out and they all carried you to shore. hyunjin, changbin, and i were still out on our boards, so i don't know exactly what happened, but all i know is that chan remained on shore with you while the other three came back out with us and told us not to worry. you were breathing, thankfully, but you got knocked out. i think you got nailed in the head from your board; you've got quite the bruise right below your eye." he lightly poked it and jeongin swatted his hand away.
"that hurt!" he hissed and cupped his face tenderly. minho cracked a small smile, but it dropped almost as soon as it came.
"...i'm so sorry, jeongin," he said, his voice so quiet it could almost be classified as a whisper. he began blinking rapidly, a tic that jeongin had learned signified that he was sad. "when i saw you disappear, i'd never felt so useless in my entire life. i couldn't do anything to save you. instead, i was stuck on my board, unable to move because...well, i can't swim. none of us can." minho shook his head. "we were fools to even come here. this is no place for a biker to be, and you nearly dying further proves that." his blinking slowed and jeongin didn't miss how his stare turned stone cold. "the world of a surfer should not be entered by a biker, and vice versa. what good would it do for either of us?"
jeongin's heart sunk at his friend's words. in all honesty, he really loved spending time with the surfers. every time they had been together had been fun-filled and lively, and it was a fresh splash of colour on the biker's monochrome palette. he felt like he didn't have to pretend around them because he'd be accepted as he was, no matter what.
jeongin had two sides: the one he showed the members of stray souls, which was tough and manly (well, at least to him it was); and the one he hid from everyone else, which was soft and shy. it's the side of him that he tried his best to push down into the darkest depths of his soul, but could never get rid of completely. and yet, when he was with the surfers he felt as if that side of him was being drawn out unintentionally; they just had that effect on him. and even though jeongin was ashamed of that part of him, they never made him feel weird or embarrassed; in fact, it was the exact opposite, and he was grateful to them for that.
but how can i convince minho that the surfers really aren't that bad? minho was always known for being the most stubborn in their friend group. once he had a fixed opinion on something, it took a long time to get him to budge. hyunjin always joked around saying that the reason why he was so quiet was that he was too stuck in his own head to participate in conversations. now that i think about it, this is the most that he's ever said in one sitting, jeongin mused silently. this must be really important to him. if that's the case, it's gonna take a lot more than i originally thought to be able to change his mind. it might take some time, but i'm sure it'll all be worth it in the end.
"but minho," he said quietly, catching the brunette's attention, "not everything about the surfers is all that bad. they're really nice to us and it seems like they care—"
"if they really cared, would they have let you surf by yourself knowing full well that you're just a beginner?"
but jeongin knew exactly how minho's mind worked and was prepared with a quick answer. "they saved my life! if they really didn't care, they would've let me drown!" emotions began to bubble in his chest as he continued. "besides, you said it yourself: chan went after me as soon as the wave crashed, and the others helped him swim me back to shore. he even stayed by my side while i was unconscious! if all of that plus letting us stay at his house— not to mention feeding us and lending us clothes— doesn't show that chan and his friends care about us, i don't know what does."
minho stared at him wide-eyed. "jeongin, why... why are you doing this?"
jeongin cocked his head to the side. "what? what am i doing?"
"ever since we met them, you've always insisted on sticking with the surfers and giving them a chance. hell, you even tried to meet up with them in secret." he shifted so that he was facing the boy completely. "so why? why do you want to be with them so much? are we, your brothers, not enough for you?"
panic ran through jeongin's veins. what do i say? i can't expose myself and tell him about how i've always loved the ocean! god knows what he would say to that! what do i do, what do i do, what do i do...
thankfully, a sleepy voice from behind him saved the day.
"isn't it obvious?" chan yawned and sat up, stretching his arms tiredly. he faced them, still blinking the drowsiness out of his eyes, a warm smile gracing his lips. "jeongin is growing up. he's not a little kid anymore. he wants to see new things, meet new people, and have new experiences. you can't expect him to be content staying within the gang forever when there's a whole world to explore, especially at his age." he met jeongin's gaze and held it as he continued. "he needs to be given the freedom to do what he wants so that he can learn and discover things he's never known before. if there's something that intrigues or interests him, it's best to let him go towards it rather than withhold him from it. and it's true that he might get hurt along the way, but that's life, isn't it?" his focus switched to minho. "i think bikers would know that more than anyone."
it was silent, the weight of chan's words sinking in. after what seemed like an eternity, minho let out a little sigh and faced the ocean with an unreadable look in his eyes. "i suppose that— in a way— you're right," he spoke. "all i wanted to do was protect jeongin and keep him safe. it wasn't my intention to restrict him from anything or take away his freedom. i just...wanted him to be okay." turning towards his friend, he said, "can you forgive me for that?"
jeongin gave him the brightest smile he could possibly muster. "of course! i could never be mad at you for looking out for me. just...maybe let me do what i want sometimes without being an overprotective mom, please."
minho gave him an exasperated huff. "i do not act like that," he muttered, causing both jeongin and chan to laugh.
maybe this won't be so difficult after all.
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