WARNING:
EMOTIONAL CONTENT.
Includes rac*sm, self-esteem struggles, extreme feelings of sadness and emotional distress, bullying, divorce struggles.

NOTE: This is a really long chapter but please try and read it all!

Aahan really snapped there, didn't he?

Poor Rowan's been nothing but helpful and kind so far.
And Irene?
Well, she's got enough on her plate!

But, outbursts like that are very rarely due to one incident.
They're the result of a culmination of little, seemingly insignificant instances.
Annoying, irritating, or heartbreaking instances.
Maybe all three?

My point is, everything happens for a reason.

THE DAY BEFORE.

The sofa now had a permanent Aahan-shaped dent.
Each night, he slipped into his blanket with the goal of staying on the dámn sofa, but every morning he'd wake up face down on the carpet.
The blanket had twisted around the lower half of his body.

Since his siblings came, he had set his alarm for four in the morning.
He wanted to make sure he woke up before them, and had atleast a little bit of peace and quiet before the inevitable loud conversations and nauseating praise showers would take over.

His nieces and nephews were supposed to be coming for the wedding in a couple of weeks.
His sisters and brother in law were coming along too, of course.
Aahan's mother had been mumbling about getting another mattress quite a few times, so Aahan had already started looking at hotels to stay in for when they arrived.

Davkha rushed down the stairs, missing the last two steps entirely—something she did since she was little.
Her hair was loosely curled, half of it cascading down her back.
She had a baby blue bardot dress on, with matching star earrings.
Her winged eyeliner was perfectly symmetrical, which Aahan still found impressive.
She had an incredibly shiny lip gloss on, that had a rose tint.

"Davi, you look great!", smiled Aahan.
"You do know we're only going for coffee though, right?"

"Huh?", questioned a confused Davkha. After a second, her eyes widening, and her mouth fell to an
'o'
shape.

"What's wrong?", asked Aahan.

He knew what was wrong though.
She had forgotten.

"Bhaiya, I'm so sorry!
I completely forgot that was today."

"It's ok.
But where are you going now?"

"Uh, I'm getting coffee with Rishi."

"That can't wait?
I mean, you are marrying the guy."

"I know but we're going to be so busy with all of the planning.
You know how weddings can get, right?"

Yeah.
Aahan had been to his fair share of weddings.
He attended all of his older siblings' weddings, and quite a few more from other family members.
When he was younger, he used to hate sitting around for hours, but he loved getting to see his cousins and peruse the buffet tables.
The older he got, the more he yearned for a wedding of his own.

Sometimes, it wasn't even the love aspect of it that he wanted.
He wasn't sure love was in the cards for him, as much as he wanted it to be.
No, the most enticing part of getting married was that he'd be centre stage.
He'd be in the spotlight.

For once, the day would be about him.

"I have to go now.
I don't want to be late", said Davkha.
"You're not mad, are you?"

Aahan shook his head.
"Of course not.
Ganesh is going to help me shop for the school's football tournament, so I'll only need to k*ll a few hours."

"Oh!
You can even take Mum to that fancy restaurant you really wanted to take her to. What's it called again?"

"Well, I'm still saving up for that.
It's expensive.
And it's Mayara's."

"Ah, ok.
Well, are you sure you're not mad?"

"I promise I'm not mad, Davkha."

Davkha let out a sigh of relief.
She wrapped her arms around him, but she didn't give him enough time to hug her back.
Before he could say anything else, she had rushed out of the room.

¤¤¤

Later that day, the Patel family were having dinner.
Yuvati, Ganesh and Davkha had plans already.
Aahan learned too late that his siblings made prior arrangements because their mother had invited Aadi and Aadit's boss over.

He was a tall man—well-built, chiselled faced as well.
He had dirty blonde hair that was parted, with most of the hair favouring the left side. Dirty blonde, more on the cusp of brown, stubble had grown on his beard area.
His suit was navy blue, with a black tie to go with it.

"Thank you again for inviting me into your lovely home", he said.
"Although now that I'm here, I think the flowers I chose don't really match with anything."

"Oh, it's ok Mr. Beaucup", said Aadit.

"We're not at work now, please, call me Darren", he replied.

"Ah, yes, well the flowers you brought are gorgeous", smiled their mother.
"Oh, you haven't met my youngest son, have you?"

With his mother gesturing to him, Aahan snapped out of his fantasy, which involved stabbing himself with his fork to end his boredom.

"Oh!
Hey, man.
Welcome to our abode my guy", said Aahan.

Aahan's father had an expression of pure bewilderment.
He couldn't believe his son was so awful at socialising.

In Aahan's defense, he knew that what he said was odd, but he was just trying to appear cool.

"Anyway, Aadi's been telling us all about his promotion", said their mother.

Darren nodded.
"Well, Aadi is an exceptionally talented lawyer.
I'd assign every case to him if I could."

Their parents' faces lit up.

"Oh, how wonderful!", grinned their mother.

"High praise indeed!", beamed their father.

"And Aadit's drive has really rubbed off an his colleagues.
He's a natural born leader who really knows how to get people to be more productive", said Darren.

"Ah, that's my Aadit!", smiled their father. "When he was younger, he always made sure Aahan was dressed for school.
He even did a teeth check."

"Ah, yes.
There was always some type of food lodged in there", added their mother.

"Mum, not when we're eating!", groaned Aadi.

Aahan would've given up all of his life savings just to erase what his mother had just said from existence.

"Aahan, is it?", questioned Darren.
"What is it that you do?
Not a lawyer in a rival firm, I hope", he teased.

"Oh, no.
I'm a supply teacher."

Darren's smile fell.
"Oh.
Well, that sounds... interesting."

"It has its moments."

"He's actually training to be a real teacher too", said their mother.

Aahan frowned.
"No, I couldn't get a place–"

"Aahan, please.
This evening is about your brothers", said their father.

"No, it's alright", said Aadi.
"Tell us more about your supply teacher job."

"I can't imagine it pays very much", said Darren.

"Yes, well, we can't have all of our children being successful lawyers and accountants now, can we?", joked their father.

"He did actually want to become an accountant once", said their mother.

"Oh, well, keep your head down.
Stick at it and you'll be able to quit your supply teaching job", said Darren.
"Or if you want some real work, consider law."

"Oh, wouldn't it be great if all our boys worked at the same firm?", questioned their mother.

"Our Aahan would do well in the world of law", said their father.
"Failures and setbacks are common, and Aahan is good at handling them."

Overwhelmed, Aahan hurried to get out of the house.
At first he thought he just needed to get out of the kitchen, but that didn't help.
He needed to get far, far away.
He stumbled through his garden, blood rushing to his head.

Across the road, Jo was unsuccessfully hiding behind a tree in her front garden. Aahan watched her, partly because he needed to focus his thoughts on something else, but also because he was curious.

Jo looked to the side, her eyes meeting with Aahan's.
She placed a finger to her lips, before pointing to a man who was approaching her house.
Catching on, Aahan gave her a quick nod.

The man knocked on Jo's door, quite a few times actually.
The first couple of knocks were quiet, but the rest were thunderous and urgent.
The man let out a long sigh, hanging his head and taking a step back.
He looked around Jo's front garden, his eyes landing on the tree.
The man tilted his head to one side, his eyebrows furrowed as he engaged in a staring contest with the foliage.

After a brief moment, in which Aahan noticed Jo's patience wearing thin, the man started walking towards the tree.
Bells ringing in his head, Aahan jumped up, waving his arms up and down.

"Uh, hey!
Hey there, uh... I'm sorry, can I help you?", he called out.

The man turned to him, his eyes becoming so wide he thought they'd pop out.
He clutched his chest, clearly startled by Aahan's presence.

"Blimey!
You gave me a fright.
No, son, this is just business between myself and the lady who lives here."

"Well, um, I actually happen to be friends with the lady of which you speak", he replied, confused as to why he had gone posh.

"Oh!
Well, do you know where she is?"

"She's actually at a friend's.
I can leave a message for you, if you'd like?"

"Uh, yeah, go on then.
I'm her ex husband's boyfriend—well, fiancé now.
Wedding planning is quite hectic now, and we were wondering if she'd like to have more time with the kids?
She hasn't seen them in quite a while, and I mean, we have been insisting for weeks now."

That was a lot of information all at once, and Aahan was glad Jo was there, because he wasn't even sure how to begin making that into a coherent and simple message for her.

"Ah, ok.
I'll be sure to pass that on to her.
And uh, congratulations on your engagement."

As soon as the man left—which wasn't for about two more minutes, Aahan sprinted over to Jo.
She didn't ramble different excuses and explanations for what happened, like he thought she would.
Instead, she rested her head in the palms of her hand.

"Jo?
What's going on?", asked Aahan.
"I mean, you don't have to tell me, I just–"

"You probably think I'm a God-awful mother now."

"No, I don't."

"Really?
Because I do.
I haven't seen my kids in almost a month, through absolutely no fault of my ex and his boyf–well, fiancé now, I suppose.
They have been making an effort with me and I... I just can't."

"Can't what?"

"See them.
Be around them.
I don't know, it feels like I can't do anything at the moment.
Did you know they live in a seven bedroom house?"

"Dámn, they got room for me?", he questioned.
"Seven seems excessive.
Can't they just split the living room in half or something if they need extra space?"

"That's what I'm thinking!
It's just, well it's like a whole other world in their town.
My ex has a really good job and he can afford to buy the kids really nice things."

"But can he give them the love they need?"

Jo nodded.
"Yeah.
He's an amazing parent.
Sh*t husband, but that's beside the point.
He loves the bones off those kids."

"They're your kids too, Jo."

"I know, and they always will be.
But... I just don't want them to see me as a failure."

Aahan fumbled for the correct words to say, but he wasn't sure what they were.
He didn't think he could ever relate to Jo, but the one time he did he had no idea what to say to help her!

"Anyway, uh, thanks for helping me out. You're a quick-thinker, Aahan."

Aahan chuckled nervously, before shrugging.
"Oh, I don't know about that.
I was sweating when he turned to look at me."

Jo chuckled.
"I know!
My arse cheeks were firmly clenched the whole time he was there."

Aahan grimaced at the mental image that had popped into his head. 

"I should, uh, get back inside.
Here, I saw a proper good-looking man go into your house earlier.
What's that all about?"

"Huh?
Oh, yeah, he's uh, he's Aadi and Aadit's boss."

"They're not in trouble are they?
I mean, if my boss looked like that I'd struggle to focus on the work."

"No, no he's just been... singing their praises."

Aahan rubbed his thumb against the knuckle of his middle finger.
He pressed down on his finger with so much force that Jo thought he was trying to rip it off.
Jo often spoke her mind, and wasn't the most subtle.
Just last week, she told the local priest he had bad breath after Mrs Carr down the road said she had to peg her nose when at the Church confessional.
Mrs Carr had been politely offering him mints for the last month, but Jo favoured a more direct approach. 

Jo lifted her hand so that she could reach out and pull Aahan's hands away.
She stopped, her eyes studying the look on his face.
It was a mixture of sadness and irritation—a combination Jo was all too familiar with.

"You know, when things get... too much for me, I like to do some gardening.
That's not even the best part though.
No, the best part is finishing up, grabbing a beer and sitting in my shed.
Sometimes I wish I could just live in my shed."

"Sounds... peaceful."

Jo nodded.
"It is.
You know, you're welcome to join me any time."

¤¤¤

Jo's words rang in his head long after he had gone back inside.
Hearing about Jo's shed being her safe space reminded Aahan about his own safe space.
A place he hadn't been to in... well, in a long time.

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

The school day came to a close, and hordes of teenagers spilled out of the school.
Friends gathered to discuss their days, whilst others just walked home.
In the boy's toilets, two sixteen year olds were huddled in one stall.

"No, no, no, this cannot be happening", said a young boy.

He had dark skin, much darker skin than the other boy in the stall.
His eyes were big and expressive, a shine appearing in the warm brown of his eyes.
It wasn't a hopeful shine though.
No.
It was the kind that was immediately followed by tears.

His school shirt was stained with ink, and slits had been cut in the sleeves.

"It's ok, Kofi.
You can borrow my shirt."

"And what will your parents say when you return home with no shirt?
No, this is hopeless, Aahan!"

Kofi threw his arms in the air.
He rested his forehead against the door.
He tried to take deep breaths, but the smell of the toilets made it very difficult.

"I am just so tired of being ridiculed by those boys.
They think they are so cool, teasing us just because we were not born here."

It was true.
Aahan's family may have been living in Marleyport at the time, but they had returned to their home in India shortly before his birth. The family returned to Marleyport when Aahan was ten.
Kofi was born in Rwanda, and moved to Marleyport when he was eight.

It was one of the first things the boys bonded over.

"They constantly make a fuss about me smelling like curry", said Aahan.
"I keep telling my mother not to pack palak paneer but she does it anyway."

"It is not fair!
I am tired of always feeling scared."

"Me too.
But what can we do?"

"I... I don't know.
Perhaps we need a place to go after school? Somewhere nearby but also far enough so they cannot follow us.
How about your house?"

Aahan shook his head.
"My house is busy enough as it is.
No, we need a place just for us."

Aahan's eyes widened, and a bright smile appeared on his face.
Kofi grinned, recognising that expression as his friend's 'lightbulb moment' face.

"Old man McConnerty's!"

Old man McConnerty owned a small patch of land near his house.
It stretched out into a field.
He didn't own all of it though.
Some of the boys from neighbouring schools would gather there and play sports.
Old man McConnerty wasn't actually old at all.
He was only twenty five.
He had premature wrinkles, and a really bad back, which led to the teenagers calling him that.
The name kind of just stuck, and even Aahan and Kofi used it.
People made up all sorts of rumours about him.

The grass had grown long and messy.
The nearby cabin looked the same, but the door was ajar.
Kofi peered in, and he saw just how untidy it was.
Tools were on the floor, broken pieces of equipment littered the desks.

There used to be two tall trees that stood near the cabin.
Students would leave their bags in their shade whilst they played football.
Now all that remained was two tree stumps.

The two boys sat on the tree stumps, with Aahan wincing as he plonked down on it, misjudging how hard the surface was.

"Isn't it strange?
There is so much land here, but it's been left untouched", said Kofi.

"Yeah.
It's almost like people recognise its importance, or its beauty.
They don't want to harm it."

"I wish humans were like that", said Kofi.

"I just wish we weren't different", said Aahan.

Kofi shook his head.
"I don't think we need to change.
The world does."

"What's going on here then?", questioned someone.

Old man McConnerty limped towards them, pitchfork in hand.
He had a scowl on his face.

"God, you kids won't leave me alone, will you?"

The two boys jumped up.

"Old man McConnerty!", they yelled, in unison.

"S-Sorry, w-we were just sitting–", stuttered Aahan.

"It's one thing for you kids to use my property whenever you like, but now you're not even asking me first?"

"We're sorry, Sir", apologised Kofi.

Old man McConnerty raised an eyebrow. "Sir?
Well that sure is a new one.
What happened to 'Old man McConnerty'? Ah, you didn't think I knew what you kids call me, did you?"

Aahan lowered his head, embarrassed.
Kofi just stared at the man, completely stunned.

"You boys don't get it, because you've never worked a day in your life.
You've never tended to crops.
Worked day in and day out.
Doctor says my back, and my leg will never be the same.
I worked myself to the bone, and my body just gave up on me.
So yes, maybe I am just an old man at twenty five.
Don't mean a need to hear it from you though, does it?"

The boys were at a loss for words.
They used the nickname, partly to fit in.
It made them feel like they were part of this big group, this collective group of teenagers who were all in on the joke.
A part of them didn't actually see that what they were doing could be seen as wrong.

They didn't know that, like them, Mr. McConnerty was also at the mercy of harsh words and rumours.

"The... the boys at school, they uh, they say mean things to us", said Aahan.
"They call me Curry Breath."

"They say rac*st things to me as well.
A couple of them have even said used the n-wórd", said Kofi.

Mr. McConnerty's face softened.
After a couple of seconds, he rested his pitchfork against the side of his shed.

"Well, I suppose we're all in similar kinds of situations.
Just a group of people who know how much words can hurt", he said.

Sure, the comments directed at Mr. McConnerty weren't on the same level as the rac*st remarks the young boys received, but they still hurt.

And they came from people who didn't bother to understand them as people.

"Alright then, boys.
I'll grab us some water and we'll talk for a bit. And any time you need to get away from all
the hurtful words... you're more than welcome here."

¤¤¤

Aahan waited by the front door, for his brother Ganesh.
Aahan may have had his own car, but whilst his siblings were here Ganesh had somehow become the designated driver.
He was also the sibling with the best taste. He had a keen eye for beauty, and he often posted about the parties he hosted for his colleagues.

Aahan needed to impress with the football rally.

No, he hadn't actually asked Mr. McConaugh if he could take over from him, but that was just a minor detail, ok?

Aahan's phone vibrated.
He quickly grabbed it, expecting to have received a message from Ganesh.

Ganesh: Aahan.

Ganesh: Which dessert is Dad's favourite?

Aahan: Why?

Ganesh: I just want to order him dessert.

Aahan: Where are you?

Ganesh: Why, do you want dessert too?

Aahan: We're supposed to be shopping for the football rally supplies.

Ganesh: Oh was that today?

Aahan: Yes.

Ganesh: Don't worry, it's ok.
We can just go another day.

Aahan: But what about busy schedules?

Ganesh: I'll fit you in.

Aahan: Ok but I might have a busy schedule too you know.

Ganesh: Haha, good one!

Ganesh: So, Dad's favourite dessert?

Aahan: He'll eat anything sweet as long as it doesn't have any bitter tasting ingredients and not a lot of frosting.

Ganesh: Thank you! I'll talk to you later. Love you, Han.

Aahan stayed in the same place for a few minutes longer.
He knew Ganesh wasn't coming, but it was like his brain was trying to convince him otherwise.
After finally accepting his brother wasn't going to help him, he headed to the shops himself.

The first shop—the local charity shop, actually had some good party decorations. They mainly came in sets; party poppers, bunting and glitter included.
He decided a supermarket would have better options for a football rally, due to the amount of supplies he needed.

Aahan's phone started vibrating, startling him.
He quickly pressed his phone against his coat, to muffle the sound.
When it had stopped, he pulled his phone out again.

Messages from the family group chat (which mainly consisted of his immediate family, and people Aahan didn't actually know, but was told to refer to them as family), appeared on his screen.

FAMILY GROUP

AMAL changed the group name to BROWN BUDDIES

UNCLE AARAV
Amal, stop messing around on your mother's phone!

SHIVA AUNTY
You should be in bed, beta!

RUBY
Aunty, leave him. He's not doing anything wrong.

SHIVA AUNTY
You are too soft on your cousin, Ruby. I dread to think how you will raise your own kids.

RUBY
Like I've said many times before, I don't want children.

SHIVA AUNTY
Hush! Don't disgrace your mother by saying such things.

DEEPA AUNTY
Shiva, don't be so strict. She's got her own business and is living comfortably on her own.

UNCLE DHRUV
Yes, this is the 21st century now. Well done, beti!

SHIVA AUNTY
Ok, ok! I only came on here to say well done to Ganesh! Such a wonderful son.

RUBY
What did he do?

SHIVA AUNTY
Did you not see his post on Facebook? He is at that fancy new restaurant, treating his mother.

UNCLE DHRUV
What new place?

SHIVA AUNTY
Myanara's

DEEPA AUNTY
Oh, your mother has been wanting to go there for a very long time! Such a hardworking woman should've been able to go a lot earlier, but it is good that atleast one of her sons took her.

RUBY
Aunty Deepa, who are you talking to? Ganesh isn't on the chat right now.

DEEPA AUNTY
Yes, but he will see this later.

RUBY
Just message him directly!

SHIVA AUNTY
Such a rude woman!

RUBY
I'm out

RUBY has left the group

Aahan felt his soul leave his body.
Ok, maybe that was too dramatic, but there really is now other way to explain the soul-crushing feeling of betrayal and anger that Aahan felt.

Aahan had brought up wanting to take their mother to Myanara's on multiple occasions! He had been saving up for a while.
Aahan was the first person their mother told about Myanara's!

And now Ganesh took her there?

Blood rushed to his ears.
He exhaled softly, but ended up making a weird hissing sound that was reminiscent of a kettle boiling.
A woman nearby him stared at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Aahan's phone vibrated again, and he was dangerously close to throwing his phone on the floor.

NEW EMAIL

Eloise Bhasin
Hi Sir.
We're really sorry to disturb you, but we have a problem.
A party at Elliott's has gotten out of hand and we need a teacher to break it up.
The students will be grateful for you looking out for them.
I'll send you the address but you're close anyway.
It's the house that looks like it should belong to a Kardashian.

__ __ __

Hi.

So, this chapter and the next was supposed to be one chapter as well, but splitting it made so much more sense when I looked at the content for each. In terms of if this was an episode, parts 1 and 2 would play out as one episode.

We got to see what Aahan's been going through. Whilst it doesn't excuse his behaviour, it does provide some much needed context. What are your thoughts on this?

The flashbacks to Aahan's childhood are very important. It's where we learn the most about Aahan. So we'll be seeing a few more of these flashbacks throughout the book!

Words really do hurt. Often times, more than physical pain. Aahan and Kofi learned a valuable lesson, and they were able to relate it to their own lives. I think we can all think of atleast one time where someone's words really hurt us. The long term effects of those words can be just as damaging.

I don't think a got the tone of the flashback down. I'm not familiar with the kind of slang/language used in the early 90s, so I feel like that ruined the realism/authenticity of them. I'll try to work on this though, and if you have any tips I would love to hear them!

What are your thoughts on the dinner scene? And how do you feel about what Ganesh did?

What are your thoughts on this chapter?

Note: I really want to publish this chapter now, but part two hasn't been written yet. I recommend re-reading this chapter before reading chapter two as well, so you can see what it would be like as a single episode/chapter story.

starryeyedturtle

DoodleYeet

LeMystical-Puffle

ejsandfarkleslovebot

Tornado-Jockey