Romance is a big genre that I'm sure everyone has dipped and dabbed in, whether it was a major part of your story or a minor, but the way romance has been written in these last few years, whether it's on Wattpad or in the publishing industry, the romance has shown a decline of actual realism in the novels. And it's a lot of arguments about how the romance and sex scenes in novels are cliché and over-exaggerated, and I'm here to give you the facts about it and ways to make your sex scenes, relationships and romance seem real.

RELATIONSHIPS
& THEIR CLICHÉS
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LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT
"Love or attraction, bitch?"

Now to some, this is very debatable. A lot of people bring up the topic of imprinting; coming to recognize (another animal, person, or thing) as a parent or other object of habitual trust, and yes; this is real and yes, in a way it is love at first sight, but y'all know damn well what type of "love" we're talking about. Love at first sight for "intimate relationships" is not real.

Deep affection and endearment can't come just from glancing at someone—that develops through auras, vibes, encounters, conversations (you notice the "s" at the end of these words); plural, meaning more than once. The only thing you can develop through a look or glance is lust. You like what you see, but you love what you know.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT
"I'm quiet and I get pushed around, and you're an asshole with a God complex—we're meant to be!"

Love stories usually include people finding partners who seem to have traits that they lack, like a good girl falling for a bad boy. In this way, they appear to compliment one another, and it's easy to see how both partners could view the other as ideal—one partner's strengths balancing out the other partner's weaknesses.

But sometimes, that's not the case. There are plenty of couples who hold the same similar traits. Both partners can be outgoing and social, or both can be reserved and mysterious. Don't depend on both of partners to be opposites; they can have the same traits and still click.

THERE IS SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE
"Hate to bust ya' bubble, boo but no—it's not."

Some people have to accept, whether it's in the real world or it's in the fictional world of novels; everybody will not be in a relationship or have that special someone.

There are people who aren't capable and will never be capable of loving someone, especially in the sense of how you define the word "love". Understand that. Stop making your characters revolve around relationships, and stop forcing your characters to always be in relationships. Relationships doesn't make a person.

So, is there someone out there for everyone? Clearly not. Is there someone out there for most people? Yes, there is. But that doesn't mean that you or your soulmate will find that someone.

IF YOU CAN'T LOVE ME AT MY WORST, YOU CAN'T LOVE ME AT MY BEST
"Who the fuck are you? The FUCK?!"

Toxic. Toxic. Toxic. Did I say toxic?
It's not okay to be disgustingly selfish, childishly impatient, abusive and out of control. These traits, while common, are unacceptable. They should not be accepted especially by the people you claim to love. This philosophy is toxic, but is strangely used in novels, and fetishized and admired beyond belief. Cut it the fuck out; it's gross.

NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS
"And that's one of the reasons why you're single, beloved."

Like that hoe Hannah Montana said, "Nobody's Perfect". That means everybody has flaws. Toxic flaws. Physical flaws. Mental flaws. So, these lil'-high-up-they-ass characters y'all create looking for the "perfect somebody" is hunting for fool's gold. It's a difference between "not-taking-no-shit" in a relationship, and expecting "Mr. Perfect".

Sometimes your partner isn't going to know all the right things to say, or fuck and suck you right, or even relate to half of the shit you've been through or is currently going through.

In the reality of most relationships, this level of intimacy takes time. Whenever two or more people come together with all their life experiences and traumas and histories and baggage, it's not always the case that they instantly know how best to show love, comfort, and respect for the other(s) in the relationship. For most couples, this comes with time and having those sometimes difficult conversations about what you need and how you like to be loved.

So saying your character will only get with someone perfect and won't settle for less than perfect won't work out for you or your character. It should be your job as a writer to make a realistic character in your realistic story. If that's what you want—a realistic story.

A HEALTHY AND REALISTIC
RELATIONSHIP
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1. They ain't fucking all day everyday. If you are writing about teens, these mothafuckas go to school and they live with their parent(s). They don't have their own house where they can have sex 24/7, and I know they not having sex in school, at least I hope they not having sex in school. If you are writing about adults, they have jobs and they're in college, and if they're not, then they are spending time with each other—going on dates or just in each other's company.

2. Couples that have been together for a while have and share things with one another. They have inside jokes between them that they only know, they have special spots they go to that remind them or are significant to their relationship. They have hobbies they do together and they have memories they can recollect and talk about.

3. They should have goals, whether it's their own like wanting to go to college or opening a business, or it's a goal they both want together like having kids or purchasing a house. Now, whether you decide to make them supportive of these goals is up to you and your storyline but it's very realistic on your part to make your characters have goals and dreams.

4. Your couple should know each other over time. From favorite foods and colors, to aspirations and goals in life; they should be absorbing their partner's likes, dislikes, interests and disinterests, and not for the sake of their partner but for themselves. Would you want to get in a relationship with someone you don't know shit about and find out later down the line, you don't like anything about your partner? Exactly.

5. Compromising is important. Both partners won't always get their way, and it'll be moments where they won't be on the same page, but it's up to the both of them to meet each other in the middle and get to a point where they both are satisfied and can move on.

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Now to what y'all really came for. This shit needed to be talked about like yesterday. These trash, garbage, ridiculous and sad ass sex scenes some of these people post in their books. Writing trash ass sex scenes explains a lot of things:

You don't read as much as you should, and if you do, you're reading trash ass shit. You don't do any research on anything. So, you read trash ass sex scenes from off of here for "resources", and the same fuckers you getting resources from don't know shit either, so it ends up being a never-ending cycle of garbage sex scenes on Wattpad.

Welp, I'm here to help, so let's go over "Sex".

SEX
& THEIR CLICHÉS
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VIRGINS
"Virgin Mary sure know how to pop that pussy for a real nigga."

There is nothing wrong with writing about virgins. (Just wanted to get that out of the way.) It's just the way some of you people have these virgins in these stories is what pisses me off. It's almost like some of y'all don't know the definition of the word:

vir·gin
/ˈvərjən/
noun
1.
a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2.
a person who is naive, innocent, or inexperienced, especially in a particular context.

The virgins I've read about on here have made me really question if my ass knows the definition because somehow, they always have knowledge on what do in the sexual scenarios.

Sucking dick? A pro at it.
Riding the python? Like a cowgirl.
Lasting all night long? Sholl' is.
No pain? No gain.

Now everybody is different. Their bodies are different, their stimulation and pain levels are different, and even their stamina are different, but there's never any background on that from the writers. They tell us it's the MC's first time and the next thing I know, they popping pussy like they done did it for ten years.

Keep it real or shut it down.

PENISES
"Every nigga is working with a python, and every hoe know how to take it."

No penis is the same: it's long penises, short penises, circumcised penises, uncircumcised penis, thick penises, thin penises, Black dick, White dick, Italian dick, Greek dick etc.

The average dick size is 5 inches. Average. Average means of the usual or ordinary standard, level, or quantity. Pretty much, normal. Anything past five inches is above average; not seen on the daily basis—not normal. I don't know how many stories I have seen on here that have the main male MC with a nine-inch penis or actually past that.

Male MCs with 12-inch penises. Let that stupid shit sink in.

Do y'all understand how cringy that shit is? A lot of the people on Wattpad have been influenced in the worst way and don't even know it. I look in the comments during sex scenes and actually see stupid little girls thinking they know what the fuck they talking about. Young ass girls claiming they can't work with anything smaller than eight or nine inches, or uncircumcised dicks.

You little hoes are about to have a rude awakening when y'all get sexually active, and that's if somebody decides to actually fuck one of you birds. Everything I try to go for in my stories is realism. You will see five, six or seven inch penises in my sex scenes, and I don't go over eight. My male MCs have curved dicks, discolored dicks, uncircumcised dicks, pubes, smells—all that shit! Why? Because it's real! Most niggas are discolored down there, and curved and aren't circumcised. I've done the research—online and in person, hunty. If you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, do not write it. Simple.

The following words below used for "penis" are dead and should not be used ever:
stick
cock
bulge (a bulge is an outlining; not the dick)
rod
piece
erection
groin
meat (believe me, I've seen see it)
dipstick
one-eyed-snake

Better Replacements:
dick
shaft
member (on a good day though)
length
manhood (on a good day though)
arousal
wood

ORGASMS
"Every time though?"

Off the rip, everyone doesn't reach an orgasm. You usually see a lot of stories where the female MCs are busting nuts like nutcrackers and it's a lot you have to come to terms with. (I'm not not gone make this a full Sex ED class lecture).

Some women do not know their bodies; some don't know what makes them hot or tick; some don't even know if they can reach an orgasm. So, it will be a lesson for the nigga(s) she decides to have sex with to find out, yet somehow in these Wattpad stories and even in the publishing industry, these male MCs already know how to make your female MC cüm, which is highly unrealistic.

Next, everyone is not multi-orgasmic (and for sure not all of the time). This means they usually don't have orgasms back to back. You also read about couples reaching orgasms together. Yes, that can happen, but again, not every fucking time.

The following words below used for "vagina" are dead and should not be used ever:
love tunnel
honeypot
garden
flower
vagina (just... no)
flower-bud/bud (just say "clit")
love button (JUST SAY "CLIT")
coochie (lmfao)
juice-box (this ain't no Welch's juicy juice, bitch... well...)

Better Replacements:
pussy (it's okay)
sex
mound
slit
cunt
inner folds

CUM FLAVORED PARADISE
"Yo' pussy got diabetes."

Ah, yes. Sweet tasting pussy. Female MC's vagina juices taste like maple syrup and strawberry sauce, even though she stops by the corner store in the AM and eats hot chips, a pickled egg, and a hot sausage every morning.

In reality, her shit should taste like battery acid and smell like a dead body.

Same thing goes for this when I say I'm not going to go in a full SEX ED session but on average, vaginas don't smell or taste sweet. Through certain fruits and foods, it might taste sweet or bad. Through other fruits and foods, it might smell good or bad, but like I said that's not all the time.

HEALTHY AND REALISTIC
SEX SCENES
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1. Pussy does not get wet all the time. Whether it be from not being physically attracted to someone, or not being sexually stimulated, all the way to medical issues. Same goes to the flaccid dicks.

2. Sex does not just happen randomly. When I say that, I mean that there is a build up—flirting, foreplay, tension. Use your scenes to create tension, reveal character, and advance plot. Don't just jump straight into the sex. Don't be lacking—but it's good to leave your readers wanting more. Just don't write two lame lil' paragraphs and call it a day. Don't go overboard just to include more sex. The scenes need to fit the story.

3. Dialogue can make break or your sex scenes. And that doesn't mean just talking. That goes for
moaning and groaning too. Some people don't talk during sex but they curse, and moan and everything else. Just don't write out the groans and shit.

4. Sex is a sensory overload.
Touch, taste, sound, smell and sight—Use it not only to your advantage but to make your sex scene work.
Touch—Is the skin soft or rough? Any sweat perspiring? Breeze from the wind or a fan? The feel of hands on you? The sheets beneath you or the couch or wherever the hell your characters are having sex.
Taste—the kisses, oral sex etc.
Sound—moans, groans, whimpering, cries, talking, breathing, background noises like TVs, headboard banging, etc.
Smell—breath, candles burning, sexual musk, etc.
Sight—hair moving, squirming, etc.

5. Safe sex should be mentioned not alluded. Does your male MC use condoms? Is your female MC on birth control? Let us know, thank you.

6. Careful how you go about the sex scene when it comes to length and details. You only give a little—it's boring, underwhelming and most likely poor quality; if it's too much going on—it's dragged on, overwhelming and makes the reader(s) want the sex scene to be over with.

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AUTHOR'S
NOTE

Lemme' know about some times where you read a sex scene that made you cringe in the comment section.