Do you guys want to hang out at the skatepark today?

Can't sorry

Busy

Maybe next weekend

Can't

Not today

Working

No sorry

Busy sorry

Can't. Got family over

Helping my parents this afternoon sorry!

Feeling sick

I swallowed back my disappointment. I was hoping at least one person would respond yes. Aaliyah was working her shift at a small cafe and Claire was busy. Naomi left it on read.
Something uneasy rolled in my stomach. As much as I adored my friends, I couldn't help but maybe consider the possibility that Naomi was telling the truth. She wasn't one to be malicious, no matter if it was a joke or not.
But who to trust? Naomi or the rest of my friends?
Nobody responded.
I've been neglecting my friends. Am I too late?
I sighed, dropping back onto my bed and holding my phone to my chest. As much as things got sorted out between Lloyd and I last night (not that there was really anything to sort out in the first place), everything was still a tad of the place. I felt overwhelmed.

I didn't want to ask Lloyd if he was busy (he most likely was, anyway, with all his ninja business). After that talk with Claire, I felt insecure around him, like I was bathing in on his personal life and forcing him to get me to stay. Not even his emotion-filled words could reassure me.
I groaned, rubbing my palms into my eyes and kicking my feet against the bed. I was frustrated with the lack of clarity that had suddenly consumed me. I didn't know anything anymore. I felt lost. I really would've loved to have met up with somebody so I could get my mind off of the fact that I was so confused that it was giving me a migraine.

Guess I'll just have to entertain myself.
I didn't really feel like going out for a walk myself. At least, not that early on a Sunday morning. Mum was off with her book club, leaving me to my own devices.
With a low groan, I pulled myself from my bed and stumbled to the kitchen. After grabbing something for breakfast, I stumbled into the living room and decided to divulge myself in the silly Sunday morning cartoons.

That didn't hold my attention for long, so I sat like a zombie, staring at the screen without really watching.
Ugh. Boredom.
I was that bored that I willingly made my way back to my bedroom to finish off any homework that I had. There wasn't much, only twenty minutes worth.

Ugh. Fine, I'll just go on that walk. It was eleven anyway.

I followed the familiar trodden path from my house to the cafe where I first saw Lloyd (it had become somewhat of a special place to me) and ordered a hot chocolate despite the heat. I ignored the odd look from the cashier as I paid before taking a seat at the booth Lloyd and I sat at when we first met up to exchange his hoody and my skateboard.
Wow. Easier days. That was before I even knew that he was the Green Ninja. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"So, I haven't seen you around," Lloyd began, in an attempt to start a conversation. "Are you new to Ninjago?"
I shook my head as I placed my mug back down onto its plate.
"No," I replied. "I used to go to Jamanakai Girls, it's just outside city limits."
Lloyd raised his eyebrows in interest as he drank some milkshake through the straw.
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's going to be my first year next year," I explained as I slid my index finger around the slick, ceramic rim of the mug. "My friends all went to Ninjago High, but my dad wanted me to go to Jamanakai Girls to get me to," I used air quotes to emphasise; "'focus on my studies rather than be distracted by boys.'"

"Why'd you move?"

"My-" I barked a short, soft, amused laugh as I recounted the memory, shaking my head. "My mum got into a fist fight with the principal's wife."
Lloyd, who was taking a sip of his milkshake, spluttered with widened eyes. He struggled for a second, before coughing.
"Did I hear you correctly?" Lloyd asked in disbelief as he regained his breath. "A fist fight?"

I snorted, nodding my head with a tight smile to stop myself from bursting out laughing.
"No lie," I pledged. "It was in front of the PTA members as well."
"Oh my god!" Lloyd laughed a loud bark, and I was suddenly struck by how attractive he looked laughing, with a big grin on his face. He almost had a golden aura around him that emitted pure boy. "Do you know why?"

My gaze darted to the side as I tried to remember what it was about. I bit my lip, furrowing my eyebrows as I filed through my memories.
"It... was about how the wife didn't want to fundraise for a new cafeteria system. She and my mother got into a heated argument, and fists ended up flying, I guess."

Lloyd huffed in amusement and awe as he shook his head.
"That's incredible," he complimented with a wide, half-grin. "I wish I was there to see it!"
I scoffed beguilingly, nodding along with Lloyd as I raised the mug of hot chocolate to my lips.
"You and me both."

I smiled softly at the memory. It felt as I was a different person, recounting a different life. Lloyd Garmadon was just a boy that I had hit with my skateboard and I was just a clumsy girl who forgot her hot chocolate.
And now...
We'd been through so much. So much. It made my head spin as I tried to recount it - and it had only taken place within the few months that was summer.
Now the leaves were beginning to grow auburn and crisp, drifting down from the trees in the lick of the beginning of autumn. I marvelled at how much we'd changed and grew as people, just like the leaves.

I was shaken from my deepening thoughts by my order being placed onto the table. I cupped the warm ceramic between my hands as I watched people walk outside, minding their own business, having their own thoughts, reminiscing their own memories.
I'd never felt so desolated. I'd either be hanging out with my friends from either school or the group, or as the recent summer holiday development, be fawning over Lloyd and spending time with his family. Now I sat alone, crowded by doubts and insecurities and thoughts. How times have changed.

I was just a silly girl with a silly crush that deepened into an inexplicable infatuation. A girl who focused more on the boy than her friends. And I was paying the price.

I wasn't dumb. I knew what Claire was doing, but I just tried so hard to believe that she could change, that if I just stuck around and went along with whatever she was planning, that I'd be accepted. She pushed me out of the way, spared me not a glance as she made me trip and tumble while laughing all the while.
And yet, I still hoped that there was some good in her. Some friend to call my own.

I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead to the table. Aaliyah, Naomi and I used to be so close. We'd known each other since we were toddlers, and had been friends through thick and thin ever since. There wasn't a secret among us that we didn't know. We were three peas in a pod. Inseparable.
Seemingly.
Claire came along a year into high school and slowly but surely pushed her way to the top. She overtook the group, commanded leadership, and the others gave her it. They followed blindly. And I was pushed to the side by her unspoken declaration.

It was clear, now. Obviously Naomi had been telling the truth, I just didn't want to believe it. Claire felt power from another's dismay, and I was her target. She tried to keep me from Lloyd, from obvious happiness, since the beginning. Any chance she got, she'd attack. Claire had turned my friends against me, even Aaliyah, and shoved me out for the wolves. She just needed the perfect opportunity. Unfortunately, Lloyd was that opportunity.
Lose some, gain another.
Why couldn't I have both? My friends and Lloyd? Why couldn't I have the boy I love and the friends I adore? In what universe did you have to give one up for the other? Where was the balance? Surely that could be restored.

Perhaps if I just talked to them, tried to explain everything, they'd listen. I'd known them all for years. Perhaps if I just tried to talk to Claire, she'd direct her attention somewhere else. Everything was fixable. Why should this be any different?

With that thought, I finished my hot chocolate and returned to the venture to the park. I held my phone in my pocket, battling with myself whether to text Naomi or not. Clearly she was hurt that I didn't believe her. I needed to apologise. She was the one who was really looking out for me.
I strolled along the path towards the skatepark, scuffing my shoes against the beige, stony walkway. The grass was growing greener with the lack of blistering heat the summer sun gave off, promising a lush autumn and a picturesque park. Laughter from the skatepark and the playground echoed through the trees and danced around the leaves. It was serene.

I pulled out my phone, declaring to myself that this perfect, quiet walkway was the perfect time to ring Naomi and apologise to her. I needed her more than ever, my shoulder to cry on, my friend to vent to, to gossip with. I just hoped that she needed me just as much.
It dialled, and I took the time to stare around the leaves that would occasionally drift down from above. She picked up.
"Hey, Y/n," she greeted warily. I smiled at her familiar voice, experimentally crushing some dead leaves under my foot.
"Hey, Nomes," I replied, before launching straight into it. Don't bother beating around the bush. "I'm really sorry for not believing you last night. I just- I guess I didn't want to think that it was true."
"Oh," Naomi replied in surprise and relief. "I was- I just- I wanted you to know. I know that it's- it's horrible, but I thought you deserved to and... yeah."
"Thanks for telling," I said quietly, continuing down the path. "I'm going to try and talk to them, smooth things over. I won't say that you told me or anything, don't worry."
"Do you think they'll listen?"
"They're still my friends," I said with a shrug. "I have to try."
In the background, Naomi's younger sister started to bawl loudly. Naomi cursed before hastily saying a goodbye and hanging up.
I shoved the phone into my pocket, containing my dawdle through the forest part of the stroll before breaking out into the familiar and nostalgic skatepark.

I paused. My blood ran cold before it boiled.
Because there they were.
All of them.

I don't know if you've ever been betrayed by those you held close to your heart before, but I'll tell you one thing;
It sucks. It sucks really, really bad.
So bad, in fact, that you can physically feel your heart shatter and your brain numb. So bad that all you can see is anger and disappointment and hurt and that indescribable feeling of 'am I just not good enough?' So bad that you lose feeling in your fingers and toes.
So bad that you lose track of thought.

Betrayals are heart wrenching. It feels as if everything was on pain and everything was numb at the same time. It feels as if you're solely in the wrong, that it's all your fault, that nothing you can ever do is right. You feel guilt for something you didn't cause. You feel regret for an action you didn't make. It's not your fault, but at the same time, it is.
You try to stay strong through the whole ordeal, but suddenly all this weight and stress just comes slamming down on you and then you're on knees and you're crying and looking for strength that ran away out from under you. And you feel weak. You feel powerless. You feel incapable of hope. You feel like they don't value you as a person. You don't feel like you should be valued as a person.
And worst of all, you feel like you deserved it.

You don't.

But when I saw them in the skate park, laughing and chatting merrily, like they haven't a care in the world, taking photos and posting selfies and having a grand old time, I could only think that they don't value me as a person.
I didn't know what went through their minds when they all actively agreed to toss me away like some scrunched up McDonald's bag and I don't know I ever will. I had specifically asked if anybody would've been willing to meet me at that exact place they were all lounging about. They all said no.

That was when it clicked. Claire wasn't just a mean person, she was a fucking deceptive piece of shit. She tried to make my life miserable. She took people I felt close to and turned them against me. Naomi was the only one who saw through her lies.
There's no coming back for them. The others had clearly made their choice and had be done with me. They clearly didn't give a fuck about me anymore. How dare they.
And there Claire was, trying to get into my head, telling me that this was all happening because I was the bad friend. Me.
Sure, I hadn't been perfect, but who fucking is? I met a guy that I really loved, what else would they expect? There were a million other girls exactly like me, fawning over a boy or girl and distancing herself a little from her friends and yet they didn't get treated like this. Treated like fucking garbage. Like I was disposable.

I inhaled sharply, curling my hands into fists and feeling my stomach clench with rage. I wanted to yell, to scream, to tear down a mountain, but I remained calm. I kept it bottled. But oh. I'd love to hear their excuse.
I stormed over, breathing heavily as I felt myself get smaller and smaller as I approached the group who I had once called my friends. A few stopped. A few looked guilty. Claire spotted me and the look her face twisted into, one of surprise before an ear-splitting chorus of malicious smirks and power-hungry sneers, made me sick. How could I have thought that there was any sort of good in her? How could I have been so fucking naive?

"Y/n!" Claire greeted with a grin, though it was painfully obvious that she was spitting like a tiger. "So nice of you to join us."
"You're a bitch," I snarled. "You're a such a fucking manipulative- how could you?"
The anger was crushed by horrified melancholy. My drive had been washed away. I felt tears prickle at my eyes as I stared at the growing audience, all of which whom I had once trusted, called my friends.
"How could you do this to me?" I gasped behind a suppressed sob. "I'd been nothing but nice to you-! You- you turned everyone against me I'm- I-"
The group shifted on their feet, antsy.
I was beginning to panic. My breaths were short and shallow, getting me no oxygen. My brain did somersaults in my head and I felt my limbs grow weak. My vision blurred.

I stumbled back, ears ringing. Whys we're thrown around my head. How could yous were tossed around in my mind. Everything was confusing and overwhelming and horrible and painful. I felt like I was going to choke on my own breath and die.
Tears freely flooded from my eyes, heavy and thick and looking like there was no use to wiping them away. I caught a wail in my hand as I bit my fist, turning on my heel and making a dash for safety.

She didn't even have to say anything and she had me beat.

🛹💚☕️

I was curled up in the corner of my bedroom when Lloyd found me. Clearly, from the way I barged in home sobbing and ignored any attempt of contact from my mother, she had taken it upon herself to call the next best confidant.
"Y/n?" he crouched down beside me. "Are you okay?"
"Noooo." I couldn't see him from the hoody pulled tight around my entire head.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Noooo," I whined again, feeling a fresh wave of tears dribble down my cheeks. I was going to dehydrate myself.
"Okay," he sighed, settling himself down next to me and pulling me close. I sniffled, trying to keep my sobs silent but failing miserably.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked gently. I coughed a wet laugh.
"Sure," I said humourlessly, unusually short tempered with him. "Just like how you kept your real age from me, right?"
Lloyd stiffened. I felt a cool rush of regret and fear crash through me.
"W- wait, no- I'm- I'm sorry, I-" I stammered, stumbling over myself and dug my body further into itself. "I didn't mean that..."
Lloyd shifted in his seat uneasily.
"Look, if this is about Claire-"
"I said no," I hissed, poking my head out from my hoody. "I don't want to talk about it. Just- I don't... I can't handle this all.. everything hurts and- - would you stop looking at me like that?!"

Lloyd jerked back in surprise at my spat. "Like what?"
"Like I'm some- some little girl who can't handle how to- UGH!" I gripped at my hair, feeling overwhelmed and confused. "I just don't want to talk about it!"
Lloyd leant back.
"It helps to talk-"
"Give me some space, Lloyd," I demanded, struggling to my feet and storming over to my bed to crash down onto it and glare at him. "I said I don't want to talk about it."
Lloyd stood, frowning. His brow was creased with frustration.
"You're acting dramatic!" he exclaimed. "All I did was ask-"
"And I said no!" I cut him off, standing. "I just need time to process this and-"
"You didn't have to drag my 'age' into this!" he barked. "That was uncalled for!"
"This is the exact same thing! Why do I have to tell you everything when you couldn't even tell me that!"

"This is not the exact same thing at all," Lloyd spat lividly. "And you tell me your problems because that's what we do! I'm your boyfriend-"
"Since when?!" I screeched with an empty laugh. "You've never asked me that! And that's exactly what Claire leapt onto and made me doubt-"
"Claire doesn't know anything about us!" Lloyd threw his arm out. "She doesn't know us. Why the fuck are you listening to her?!"
"Because I thought she was my friend!"
"Well, your taste in company clearly needs some fine tuning!"
My gaze narrowed. I was breathing heavily from the effort and exhilaration of it all. I squinted at Lloyd.
"Yeah," I agreed poisonously. "Clearly."

Lloyd shook his head and smiled coldly, anger burning in his eyes. "God, you're such a-"
"What? I'm a what?" I snarled. "I know what you are. A child. You're a child who doesn't know when to stop."
Lloyd's cold smile dropped into a shocked scowl. Clearly, I had struck a nerve.
"I can't believe you," he hissed, zipping his hoody up and making his way to the door.
"Where are you going?!"
"I'm leaving," Lloyd proclaimed. "Because clearly, I'm acting like a child."
"Good! Finally! Some fucking space!"

Lloyd slammed the door on his way out. I glared at it, burning holes into the wood as my rage ran its course, blistering my limbs and rolling my chest. How dare he- how- how.

I exhaled a heavy breath in horror. Fuck. Why'd I..? I was so scared and sad and angry and I directed all of those negative feelings at Lloyd. He just wanted to help- I'm- fuck. I'm a fucking idiot.
I let out a horrified whimper, throwing open my door and stumbling after Lloyd. He was quick to leave, escaping on his dragon while I watched him leave with teary eyes. I slumped against the door, sliding down to my knees as I cradled my body and shook as I cried.

My mother's hand brushed my hair soothingly, her words incomprehensible against my sobs.
"I messed up," I wailed into my hands. "Mum, everything's gone- everything's gone wrong and I messed up!"
"Oh, honey," she said softly, guiding me to my feet. "My poor sweetheart."

"Lloyd," I grieved his name in a whine. "I hurt him. I hurt him, mum."