Once they were settled into the taxi, Sherlock let John decide where they were going as John obviously knew this area far better than the detective. John gave the cabbie the name of a local café that stayed open 24/7. It was a nice place and due to the lateness of the hour very few people would be there so it would be a great place to talk. If John was honest, the whole cab ride was just awkward. Awkward and silent. He was not used to this with Sherlock. In the old days, Sherlock could be quiet for hours but it was never awkward. John could happily sit in Sherlock’s company while he was in his mind palace and get on with other things but that was not the case with that cab journey. John wished he could open and jump out as he did not want to in the company of a silent Sherlock or an angry Sherlock (which he was bound to be once they talked things through.)
Sherlock was past the state of being shocked, he was going into full blown anger. Who did John think he was keeping his daughter away from him. He felt like he didn’t know John anymore. He thought that John loved him, would do anything for him but that was all a lie. One big elaborate lie that left him heart-broken.
The cab stopped merely a few minutes after they had gotten in. Sherlock waited for John to get out and as he did so, he paid to taxi driver £20, telling him to keep the change as he did not want to wait around to get his change. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.
John led the way into the empty café, sitting down at a small table in the corner near the window. He smiled at one of the waitress who promptly came over to take their orders. First she turned to John and asked for his order, addressing him by his name seeing as he was a regular there. "I'll just have a tea, please" For the life of him, John couldn't remember her name and was relieved when she turned her eyes quickly onto Sherlock and asked for his order.
“Coffee. Black. One sugar.” He replied, looking at the waitress briefly before returning his eyes to the table.
The waitress kept staring at Sherlock, practically undressing him with her eyes. So, she was an omega who couldn’t resist the scent of an unbounded Alpha John thought trying to control the jealous that overwhelmed him as the waitress moved closer to Sherlock and took a deep breath in, taking in his strong scent. Finally Sherlock noticed the lingering omega waitress and gave her a very evil look that showed that he was not interested in her in the slightest. John breathed a sigh of relief. The waitress finally went away, flicking her hair angrily as she went.
John returned his attention to the man in front of him, feeling the awkward silence return and hit him like a steel door. Neither one knew what to say and neither one wanted to be the first one to speak. So they stared at each other silently.
Luckily the waitress returned only moments later, slamming the drinks on the table before walking away, obviously annoyed that Sherlock did not pay her any attention.
“So... I have a daughter.” Sherlock began, stirring the coffee with a spoon absentmindedly as he poured some sugar into the cup. He added a little more than usually firstly because he hadn’t eaten for a few days and secondly because he thought the sugar would help him with the shock. The shock that he couldn’t seem to get rid of.
"Other than telling you that I'm a complete coward... I'm not too sure what answers I can give you..." John said, his eyes fixed firmly on the table as he too stirred his drink. He couldn’t meet Sherlock’s eyes. They reminded him of the mistake he had made all those years ago when he didn’t tell him the truth and the fact that things between them could never return to how they were, to how amazing they were. He didn't say a word more, hoping that the 'but I'll try' was implied.
“Coward?” Sherlock asked as he took a sip of his boiling hot coffee, regretting it as it burnt the tip of tongue.
"I was scared of your reaction... I didn't want you to find out and then tell me you didn't want a child or that you weren't sure you could have a kid around while you worked..." John gave a small shrug, still avoiding eye contact. “I wanted her from the moment I found out I was pregnant and I was worried you would reject her... both of us.”
“So you ran away.” Sherlock stated, taking another sip of his coffee to hide his shock appearance before staring at John intensely. There was a moment of silence between the pair before Sherlock spoke again. “I... I don’t know...what to say.”
"Well, as much as I wish you could say that you're fine with all this and want to just get on with life, I know that won't happen. You have every right to be angry with me..." John trailed off, picking up his cup to take a sip.
“I just... I just don’t understand how it happened... How you could talk to Mycroft about it and not me. I thought you...” Sherlock said putting his head in his hands.
John's heart was hurting, he had a strong feeling the end of Sherlock's sentence was going to be 'loved me.' I thought you loved me... If John was guilty before, he was feeling utterly terrible now. He wanted to say sorry again but he knew that there are only so many times you can say something before it loses its meaning.
“Listen, I don’t know what would have happened if you had told me that you were pregnant all those years ago but I know that in the end I would have supported you no matter what because I loved you so much.” Sherlock was silent again, taking a deep breath before carrying on. “When you left I was devastated, I would have done anything to talk to you for a few minutes. I honestly don’t know what to think and I don’t know what to do and that annoys me because I always know what to do. You have sprung so much on my in the past hour that I feel like my mind palace is about to explode.” Sherlock’s voice had gradually risen during his little speech so when he stopped speaking, the cafe was so silent that you could now hear the traffic outside.
John nodded, understanding. He was silent too for a moment, just thinking over what Sherlock had said. “I honestly wish I could just forgive you and get but I don’t think I can. You went to Mycroft and not me. That hurts, more than I would care to miss. ” Sherlock continued, staring at John straight in the eyes for the whole time.
“I... I need to think about all of this. I need to process some of the things that you told me. I have thought for years that you were dead or with another alpha or... something but here you are sitting right in front of me. My Alpha is begging for me to take you back but I can’t, I just... can’t. Not after everything that has happened.”
"I'm not expecting you to forgive me or take me back, ever." John told the other man honestly. "What I did... It's not something anyone should forgive. Especially the bit with going to your brother..."
Sherlock frowned at John. “So.... you... you.” Sherlock muttered realising that it was stupid even thinking that John might still like him. “I think I might have to kill my brother the next time I see him. At least I have thought about a good plan so I have a pretty good idea of how to do it without getting caught. He gave me a spare key a few years back making it ever so easy to asphyxiate my brother in his sleep without him even realising what was happening.”
John opened his mouth, unsure if Sherlock was serious or not. It was hard to tell with Sherlock and John hated that he couldn't tell anymore. "He helped quite a bit and I know he didn't like keeping it from you. That bit was all my idea..." John said, knowing he owed Mycroft a lot and if stopping his brother from killing him was the price, then he would do it.
Of course Mycroft had gone and played the superhero Sherlock thought. He has a bloody power complex so having power over both Sherlock and John would defiantly give his ego a boost. “How much money did he give you over the years?” Sherlock asked, knowing that he wouldn’t let Mycroft have power over him or John again. It was his was his job to support his family and that’s what he was going to do from now on.
John blushed at the thought of the actual moment, looking down at the table again. "Errr... Quite a bit. He helped with the house at first and a few bits for Alex with she was younger. Just till I got a job. Harry mainly helps me manage now. Looking after Alex while I work so I don't need a babysitter, such like that"
“I am guessing that the house cost about £200,000, well, that’s what most 2 bedroom houses in this part of London cost. I will have to pay him back immediately. I can’t have that debt hanging over you. I can’t really pay Harry back as she probably likes to spend time with Alex and therefore doesn’t take money from you even though you probably offer to pay her.” Sherlock announced, flagging the waitress down so that he could get another coffee to go.
John didn't get another tea so he merely finished his off as he nodded to Sherlock. "He said I didn't need to pay him back but we both know it's the power, not the money that he wants... I... Thank you, Sherlock. I... I really appreciate this. I've got a bit of money saved up in an account. Maybe approaching £10,000"
“I don’t need your money.” Sherlock quickly said, taking his wallet out of his trouser pocket so that he could pay for the drinks. “As soon as I have paid him back then he won’t have any power over you. And it’s fine, by the way. You shouldn’t have to worry about my brother having control over you.”
John sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “Please, I need you to take my money. I can’t... I can’t have you helping us out in such a large way when I don’t deserve your help after everything that I have done.”
Sherlock raised his eyebrows at John, trying to use his dominant Alpha voice on him so he would let him help them out. John had been coping on his own for too long and Sherlock knew that he didn’t have a lot of money whereas Sherlock did and he was willing to help. Alex was his daughter too. “John , it’s fine. I want to do it. For you and Alex”
“Sherlock we don’t need your help.” John said, adamantly. He wasn’t going to let Sherlock push him over on this one. Just because he was a rich Alpha didn’t mean that he had the right to walk into his life and try and make him feel like a scrounger or a kept Omega.
“Take the money.” Sherlock ordered, starting to get annoyed at John’s stubbornness.
“No, I can’t.”
“IF YOU HAD ASKED FOR MY HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE WE WOULDN’T BE IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.” Sherlock shouted, finally losing his temper. He had been holding in all this anger that he felt for John and Mycroft but he couldn’t keep it in any longer. It was doing his bloody head in. “I need to get out of here.” He stated, scrambling up, grabbing his cup and fleeing out of the door.
John just stared as the man ran away, hoping that he wasn’t running out of their lives for good.
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