The Artistic Hour with Sally Norman 

 Special Guest: Ballet Dancer Akhyra Morel

[Excerpt from Interview Transcript]

Sally Norman: "Moving away from the ballet world, I also want to address the charity work that you're involved with in Haiti. We've received some wonderful testimonials from directors of orphanages located in different provinces about the renovations that you've funded and your involvement in ensuring that those children receive proper education and counseling from licensed professionals. Can you tell us why these pursuits are so important to you?"

Akhyra Morel: "Many years ago, it had come to my attention that the mental health of children isn't a primary concern in my homeland. Oftentimes, adults believe that as long as kids are taken care of in terms of being clothed, fed, and having shelter, then they should be fulfilled. Though more often than not, it's not the case. 

As you already know, I was adopted at a young age. I was fortunate enough that my father understood the importance of treating the psychological damage that I endured as a child. He decided to move out of Haiti temporarily, and we relocated to France, where he took me to several renowned child psychologists who would help me work on how to overcome my trauma. Now that I'm blessed with the means to provide some resources for children in whom I see myself, I am more than happy to help in any way I can."

[Applause from audience]

Sally: "If you don't mind, I want to stay for a moment on the fact that you've just mentioned having suffered psychological damage when you were younger. I'm aware that you've never talked in the media about your childhood prior to your arrival at the orphanage. Are you comfortable enough now to elaborate on the matter?"

Akhyra: "I was born in a household devoid of love. My birth mother was the teenage daughter of a local pastor. When she became pregnant with me, there was a lot of stigma attached to that. I never knew who my biological father was, nor do I care. I grew up as a hidden secret because my grandfather didn't want his reputation tarnished by his daughter's pregnancy. I didn't understand the reason why I was unwanted until much later when I started to receive counseling, and all the therapists I visited helped me unpacked the few memories that I had left from my childhood. 

One of the things I remember vividly was that my mother never wanted me to touch her. I think that when I was still an infant, she felt obliged to nurture me. But as soon as I got old enough to do things by myself, she always kept her distance from me. 

At some point, I even started to believe that she didn't want me near her because I smelled bad. I would take several showers a day and wash my hair every time in the hope that I would be clean enough to come close to her. It was never the case.

There was only one time that I broke my mother's rule about staying away and tried to give her a hug. My grandfather used to go through this long incessant rant about how my mother was a failure and brought shame on him. It could go on for hours. One day, she was crying so badly that I wanted to comfort her. I tried putting my hands around her, but she pushed me away. She yelled at me never to touch her again because I was a disease who ruined her life. 

From that moment, the belief that I was unclean transformed into another one. I began to worry that I was sick and contagious. It made sense that my mother would want to stay away from me to avoid catching my disease. 

Then, one night, I heard her come into my room. I pretended to be asleep in case she would touch me if she thought I wouldn't know. She did touch me. To this day, I still have nightmares about her cold fingers tracing my face as if she was trying to memorize my features one last time. Those same fingers then wrapped around my throat and tried to choke me."

[Shocked exclamations from the audience]

[Silence.]

Sally: "If, uhm, I'm sorry. If you find it too painful to revisit those memories, we can stop there."

Akhyra: "No. I want to address this once and for all. I used to be afraid of letting the public know about my past and the trauma that it provoked because of my concern that this weakness could be used against me. Recently, there have been revelations made in the press about a phobia that I've been battling for most of my life.  

The person who leaked that information is a fellow ballerina in whom I had confided because I trusted her to keep my secret. However, even if she tried to ruin my image by exposing my condition, it made me realize that the reason she had that much power was because I had not addressed it before. From now on, I refuse to let anybody weaponize my past against me."

[Applause from audience]

Sally: "It's very brave of you to share such a vulnerable part of yourself with us. We're all proud of you. Isn't that right, folks?"

[Cheers from audience]

Akhyra: "Thank you. I really appreciate your support."

Sally: "Do you mind telling us how you ended up at the orphanage? Did you run away from your abusive family?"

Akhyra: "It never occurred to me to try to escape back then. As unbelievable as it sounds, I never thought that my mother was a bad person when I lived with her. Even after the incident when she tried to strangle me, I thought she only did it because of this non-existent disease that I carried. I believed that she tried to squeeze the sickness out of me or something. I was quite stupid."

Sally: "Allow me to disagree. You were just a child who desperately wanted to earn your mother's love. That doesn't make you stupid."

[Applause from audience]

Akhyra: "I did become more fearful of her afterward. I don't know what stopped her from going all the way through. But after that night I barely came out of my bedroom when she was at home. I didn't want to risk making her sick by being in the same space, so I never wandered around the house when she was there. Ironically, this is what kept me safe from the fire that broke out some time after. When the firefighters rescued me, they said that I was smart to stay in my bedroom because it saved my life. My mother and grandfather didn't get as lucky. The police took me to the orphanage when they couldn't get a hold of any other family member."

Sally: "On behalf of everyone here, I want to thank you for discussing such a private part of your life, especially when it must have been so difficult to talk about."

Akhyra: "I'm grateful to have been given this opportunity."

Sally: "Is there anything else that you would like for us to know about before we close this session?

Akhyra: I'm still fighting to completely overcome my phobia of human contact. Being in proximity to people is easier for me now than ever before. My therapist has recently told me that I'm close to total remission. These days, when I meet new people, I try to initiate contact first. By the way, can I shake your hand? My apologies, I should've done that at the beginning of the show."

Sally: "No worries. It will be my pleasure!"

[Host and Guest stand up to shake hands. Applause from audience.]

Sally: "Akhyra Morel, ladies and gentlemen! We'll be back after a short commercial break."

[End of excerpt.]