trigger warnings: toxic/unhealthy relationship, sexual assault (forceful kissing, rape), and body-shaming. scenes depicting sexual assault will be bookended like this ⛒⛒⛒ so you can skip them if need be. keep in mind that the events and effects of the scene will be discussed in this and future chapters. read with caution and stay safe friends

*

-- April 2006 (8 Months Earlier) --

MJ's not sure she'll ever stop laughing.

"It's really not that funny," Silena says, pouting.

"No, it really is," MJ says in between giggles. "How could you think critiquing Mr. D's fashion choices would ever end well for you?"

Silena, whose hair is currently a shade of purple best described as grape Kool-Aid, looks close to tears. "Do you think it'll last long?"

"Not long at all," MJ assures her. Her laughter has finally died out, and her breathing is starting to return to normal. She reaches over and playfully tugs on a purple ringlet. "Once everyone sees how good you look with purple hair and starts complimenting you, Mr. D will realize it's not a punishment and undo it."

Silena perks up at that. "You think I look good?"

"Oh, you're rocking the hair," MJ says. "Anyone else would probably look like a troll doll but not you." She gestures vaguely to their surroundings. "Cabin 10 genes, I guess."

MJ and Silena are sitting on Silena's bunk surrounded by sketchbooks and scraps of fabric. They do this pretty much every Sunday — discuss the projects they're working on and debate what material is best. Most consider them a bit of an odd pairing, but MJ pays them no mind. Silena is undoubtedly one of her closest friends and nothing will ever change that.

"Enough about my hair," Silena says, waving her hand dismissively. "Have you decided what you're going to do with that jean jacket we found?"

A couple of weeks ago, a few boxes of old clothes had been discovered in the basement of the Big House. Cabin 10 was tasked with going through the clothes, and MJ had joined in to see if she could find anything fun to work with. Now she has a box full of clothes next to the foot of her bed that Dani keeps tripping over somehow. One of the pieces MJ found was a gorgeous light-washed denim jacket.

Well, gorgeous in her opinion. The back is stained with either blood or wine, hence why Cabin 10 wanted nothing to do with it. But one of MJ's greatest strengths is her imagination. When she looks at a piece of clothing, no matter what condition it's in, she doesn't see what it is. She sees what it could be.

MJ flips to a different page in her sketchbook. "Here's what I am thinking. Cut out the back, and then replace it with a patchwork made up of different strips of fabric I have leftover from some of my past projects."

"I like it," Silena says. She's lying on her stomach with her feet in the air, absentmindedly kicking as she talks. "But I don't love it. What if you replaced the cuffs with patchwork too? Carry the design into the front."

"Ooh, that could be fun," MJ says, scribbling the idea down on the page. "I'd have to cuff the jacket anyway. The sleeves are too long for me. Oh, and maybe I could swap out the pocket for patchwork too!"

Silena claps her hands excitedly. "Okay, now I love it."

"Okay, your turn," MJ says. "You still working on that dress?"

The dress in question is a passion project for Silena. Or, rather, it was a passion project. Now, after weeks of working on it on and off, it's a headache.

Silena's face falls. "I don't want to talk about it."

MJ nudges her lightly. "C'mon, let me see. I might have an amazing idea that'll solve all of your problems."

"You are a wealth of knowledge," Silena says, her lips curling into a soft smile. She slides her sketchbook over with a weary sigh. "Tell me the truth, MJ. Is it hideous?"

"This is beautiful and I hate you," MJ replies without a moment's hesitation.

Silena's sketches are always better than MJ's — despite being four years younger, she's had a lot more practice. Her sketches are so good that her designs always seem to pop right off the page. This one is no exception. To call it a dress seems like a drastic understatement. Silena's designed a gown worthy of a princess.

MJ can practically see the shimmery silver tulle skirt fanning out as the model spins, the way the light reflects off of the oversized flower motif. She knows exactly the way the fabric would feel under her fingertips, the awe that would overwhelm her if she saw someone wearing it. She can even imagine how the dress would feel — the draped corset tight but not too tight, the sweetheart neckline low enough to accentuate the bust but high enough to be classy. MJ has a brief vision of herself wearing it walking down an aisle and shakes her head to rid herself of the thought.

"What don't you like about it?" she asks, lightly running her fingers over the page.

"I just feel like it's missing something," Silena says. "And I know I need a belt to separate the skirt and the corset because I don't want the flower motif continuing on the corset, but I don't know what kind of belt. Something plain? Something flashy? Something built into the dress, or something removable?" She groans, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do, MJ."

MJ straightens up and picks the sketchbook up off the bed. She holds it up to the light and tilts it at different angles. She knows what Silena's talking about. As pretty as the dress is, it needs a little extra 'oomph.' MJ sets down the sketchbook and grabs the stack of fashion magazines on Silena's pillow. She flips through them quickly, knowing what she needs will catch her eye.

She's on her third magazine when she sees it.

"Asymmetry," she says.

Silena frowns. "What?"

MJ picks up a pencil and lightly draws her idea next to Silena's design. "What if the skirt had an asymmetrical high/low kind of thing going on? The lower part could be just the fabric, and then the higher part could have the flower pattern. Oh, and the top part could have a ruffle hemline to add some volume."

"Oh my gods," Silena says, staring wide-eyed at MJ's hasty sketch. "Matilda Josette Winslow, you are a true genius."

MJ shushes her. She looks around to see if anyone overheard even though logically she knows the cabin is empty save for them. When she's finished her check, she looks back at Silena with a scowl. "You know, part of the deal of me telling you my full name was that you'd never use it."

"I think it's pretty," Silena says, "and I think your idea is perfect. I can't believe fashion is just a hobby for you."

"Following your dreams is a privilege," MJ says as she gathers her things. She promised she'd be back at her own cabin by 2 pm, which is rapidly approaching.

Silena rolls her eyes, pushing herself up to a sitting position. She tucks her legs under her. "Where'd you get that piece of wisdom? Cynics Monthly?"

"My mom, actually," MJ says curtly.

"Which one?"

MJ pointedly avoids making eye contact. "The human one."

"Oh." Silena tilts her head to the side, her expression much softer than it was just seconds before. "You never really talk about her."

"There's not much to talk about," MJ says. "I haven't seen her in a decade."

A memory rises to the surface — her last moments with her mother. Caroline was leaving for work. She was frail from skipping meals, and her hand shook as she tucked a lock of hair behind MJ's ear.

She'd pressed a kiss to the top of MJ's head and said, "Don't forget to eat lunch, baby. I'll be home late today, so it'll be a long time until dinner."

MJ had just nodded sullenly. Caroline twisted the doorknob four times before she actually opened the door. She paused in the doorway, limned in the morning light. "See you later, okay? I love you, Tilly."

"I love you, Mommy," MJ had said, finally managing a smile.

And then Caroline was gone, and that was that. By the time she came home from work, MJ had left with a backpack full of clothes, survival gear, and snacks. MJ's glad she got one last 'I love you' in. She wishes she'd gotten a hug in too. In her defense, she hadn't known she was running away until later in the day. If she had known, she would've left behind something better than a hastily scribbled note full of spelling mistakes, written in purple crayon.

MJ shakes her head, dismissing the memory. She flashes Silena a grin. "Gotta run. Good luck with the dress."

"Thanks," Silena says. "Good luck with the jacket."

MJ gives Silena a two-finger salute before slipping out of Cabin 10, the door swinging shut behind her. Her tote bag bumps against her hip as she heads for her cabin. All of her siblings are standing outside, looking vaguely terrified. She doesn't even need to ask; she already knows what the problem is.

"How big?" she asks instead.

Four pairs of hands go up, all held apart to demonstrate different sizes.

"Dani, there's literally no way the spider is that big," MJ says.

Dani, who has her hands shoulder-width apart, shrugs. "I didn't really get a good look at it."

A sharp whistle makes them all turn to their left. Instantly, a smile spreads across MJ's face. Much to her annoyance, she feels that all-too-familiar pitter-patter in her chest. How can someone be both one of her favorite people in the whole world and the bane of her existence?

"There he is!" she crows. "Our savior!"

Luke comes to a stop just inches away from her, that easy-going grin on his face. "You know me, always here to help."

Annabeth is on his heels, fiddling with the end of one of her braids. "Oh, hey, MJ." She naturally gravitates to MJ's side, tucking herself under MJ's arm. "How was your brainstorming sesh with Silena?"

"Good," MJ says, rubbing Annabeth's arm. She smirks at Luke. "You gonna need backup? I can get Beckendorf."

"Nah, I'm good," Luke says. He bounds up the porch steps, opens the door to Cabin 6, then pauses in the doorway and turns around. "If I don't make it...don't let the Stoll brothers have my things."

Cabin 6 salutes him. Luke salutes back, then disappears inside. MJ sighs. Gods' speed, old friend.

As MJ and her siblings huddle together, murmuring amongst themselves, she notices Annabeth keeps looking up at the dull gray sky.

"No storm today," MJ whispers. "Not yet, anyway."

"Weather's been bad since the winter solstice," Annabeth says quietly. "One clear-ish day doesn't mean anything."

"I know," MJ says. "I hope Chiron comes back soon. Everything feels weirder with him gone."

Annabeth nods. Chiron's been in and out of camp the whole school year, coming back for days or even hours at a time before disappearing again, leaving Camp Half-Blood entirely in the care of Mr. D. None of them can remember the last time Chiron made a house call. It makes the strange weather all the more foreboding. It's becoming increasingly obvious that something is wrong on Mount Olympus, but no one will tell them what. Which means it's probably bad.

Very, very bad.

MJ straightens up. "Luke killed the spider."

Her siblings have learned not to question her by now. When Luke emerges victorious from the cabin, they've already been cheering for him for at least a minute. He doesn't question it either. He bows deeply, then descends from the porch while waving like a pageant girl.

"What do we say, guys?" MJ asks her siblings.

"Thank you, Luke," they chorus politely.

"You're very welcome," Luke says with another overdramatic bow. "There's no greater honor than being the designated Slayer of Spiders."

Annabeth and the others head into Cabin 6, but MJ lingers on the porch steps, leaning against the railing. Luke smiles at her crookedly, eliciting a new burst of butterflies in her stomach.

"Thanks again," MJ says, fiddling with the fraying friendship bracelet Silena made for her last summer.

Luke hops onto the bottom step. "Well, you know. Anything for my favorite girls."

MJ enjoys looking down at him from the top step. It's the only time she's ever been taller than him. She raises her eyebrows. "Favorite girls, huh?"

"You and Annabeth," he says. "Number one. Always."

"I'm telling Cilla," MJ teases, trying to ignore the warmth in her cheeks.

Luke waves his hand dismissively. "Ah, Cilla will understand."

Priscilla "Cilla" Karam is one of Luke's younger sisters in Cabin 11 and one of MJ's best friends. MJ and Cilla are so close that they even applied to some of the same colleges with the plan to be roommates if they got in, but in the end, they decided on two different schools: Abbott University for MJ, and UCLA for Cilla. Luke has never understood their want for a higher education. Then again, Luke has never had a 'dream job.'

"Why would I dream of labor?" he'd scoff.

Now, Luke goes up another step and reaches out to playfully tug on one of MJ's curls. "Seriously, though. Cabin 11 might be my biological family, but you and Annabeth will always come first."

MJ leans over to wrap her arms around Luke, clasping her hands at the nape of his neck. "Well, it makes sense. You've known us longer. We've got history."

Luke's hands fall to MJ's waist to steady her. "But isn't blood thicker than water?"

"The actual saying is the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," she corrects him. "Meaning your bond with the family you choose is stronger than your bond with the family you were born into."

Luke's crooked grin widens. "You know, you're very cute when you explain things."

He glances pointedly at her lips, and this is where it always falls apart. Yes, MJ's had a crush on Luke for years, but Thalia and Luke liked each other first, and now Annabeth has a massive crush on him, and MJ just can't bring herself to do it. She can't bring herself to cross that line. It's too messy, too complicated, and, since she's leaving for college at the end of this upcoming summer, too little time.

Overall? The pros don't outweigh the cons. In other words, a relationship with Luke isn't worth the fallout.

She lets him go and backs up toward the cabin door. "See you later, Luke."

"See you later, MJ," Luke says, trying and failing not to look disappointed.

MJ slips into Cabin 6. Her siblings are hard at work on their various projects. Malcolm's studying advanced mathematics, Intan is playing a game of chess against herself, Dani's reading a copy of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe translated into Ancient Greek, and Wyatt's curled up with his ridiculously big sketchpad. Annabeth is waiting for MJ in their usual spot — matching gray armchairs loaded with pillows with a rickety little coffee table in between.

"What took you so long?" Annabeth asks, frowning. She's lounging with her legs hanging over the arm of the chair and a book in her hands.

"Luke and I were talking," MJ says. She plops down in her seat and grabs one of the books Annabeth had stacked on the coffee table. "How's research going?"

"The list just keeps growing," Annabeth says.

Ever since the sisters heard word that something had been stolen and that's the reason behind the bad weather, they've been compiling a list of things that might've been taken and thus upset Zeus. Unfortunately, Zeus is a temperamental man, to say the least, and has a fair few trinkets he might throw a tantrum over. Top of the list, of course, is his master bolt, but only someone hoping to bring on World War Three would be dumb enough to steal that. Then there's his crown, his scepter, his first edition of the Iliad...the list goes on and on. On top of figuring out what was stolen, they're trying to figure out what exactly will happen at the summer solstice if what was stolen isn't returned.

"It must have something to do with my fate," Annabeth insists.

Last year, after months of pestering him, Chiron finally broke down and told Annabeth that he's known her fate for years. He even told her some of the Great Prophecy that he'd heard from the Oracle. Ever since, Annabeth's been searching for signs, waiting for the right person to walk into camp and get her jumpstarted on her destiny. So far, she hasn't had much luck.

"Maybe," MJ says. She drums her fingers on the hardcover book. "This theft is definitely bigger than anything we've seen in....well, ever."

Annabeth grins, kicking her socked feet excitedly. "Maybe I'll finally get a quest."

"Take me with you?" MJ asks. Annabeth's grin is contagious — MJ's lips curl into something equally giddy.

"Who else?" Annabeth scoffs.

They're more than each other's favorite sibling — they're best friends. No one knows MJ better than Annabeth does, and no one knows Annabeth better than MJ does. That's how MJ knows Annabeth's just as terrified as she is for MJ to leave for college in the fall. The two of them have never been apart for longer than a few weeks in the last five years. How are they ever going to survive months without each other?

"I love you," MJ blurts out. "You know that, right, Buffy?"

There's a very small group of people allowed to call Annabeth 'Buffy' and they all live in Cabin 6. Just like only Cabin 6 gets to call MJ 'Mattie,' and Theo 'Teddy.' Siblings get special privileges, as Dani likes to say.

"Of course, I know that," Annabeth says. There's a softness in her eyes not usually witnessed by anyone other than their siblings and Luke. "I love you too, Mattie. Always will."

MJ smiles, but she can't shake the feeling that they're running out of time.

*

-- Two Months Later --

"He's the one, I know he is," Annabeth insists.

They're sitting on the foot of MJ's bunk. Around them, their siblings slumber — or, at least, they're pretending to. Outside, the thunderstorm is finally dying down, letting the stars peek through the dark gray clouds. Both girls should really be in bed by now, but Annabeth is clearly too excited to get any sleep anytime soon, so neither will MJ.

"He's the one Chiron left to watch over, right?" MJ asks, hugging her pillow to her chest.

Annabeth nods emphatically. "His name is Percy Jackson, and he singlehandedly killed the Minotaur."

"Who was his protector?" MJ presses. "Are they okay?"

Annabeth's face falls. She shifts closer to MJ, their knees pressing together as she fiddles with the end of one of her braids. "His protector was Grover." Before MJ can panic, Annabeth hastily adds, "He's okay! I mean, he's unconscious, but he'll be fine. Physically, anyway."

"What do you mean?" MJ furrows her brow. "Grover got Percy to camp safely, right? He succeeded."

"Except he didn't," Annabeth says. "He passed out before Percy crossed the border. Percy had to drag him to safety. There's no way the Council is going to view that as a success."

MJ slumps. "Well, shit. This was his last chance, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Annabeth pulls her knees up to her chest. "I feel so bad for him. He tries so hard and it just...never works out."

"Maybe he can talk the Council into giving him another chance," MJ says. "I mean, he kind of got screwed over if you think about it. Two Big Three kids? That's rough."

Annabeth perks up at that, a sparkle in her eyes. "You agree, then? You think Percy is the one I've been waiting for?"

"Chiron doesn't leave camp for just anyone," MJ says. She readjusts her bonnet, mostly just to give her hands something to do. "And defeating Pasiphaë's son singlehandedly with no prior training? Sounds like Big Three material to me."

"I wonder if he knows anything about what will happen at the summer solstice," Annabeth says.

MJ shrugs. "I don't see why he would, but I guess it's worth a shot."

"I'm going to ask Lee if I can help out in the infirmary while Percy's healing," Annabeth says. She has that same gleam in her eyes that she gets when making plans for Capture the Flag. "Maybe I can get some info out of him then."

"Or," MJ says, "you could let him heal first, and then ask him for answers once he's fully conscious."

Annabeth rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." She slides off the bed with a sigh. "We should probably get to bed."

"You don't have to tell me twice," MJ says, eagerly slipping under her covers. She burrows down, getting as comfy as possible. The mattresses at CHB aren't anything special, but they're infinitely better than sleeping on the ground.

Luckily for Annabeth, it's not a long journey to her own bunk — it's directly to the left of MJ's.

"Goodnight, Buffy."

"'Night, Mattie," Annabeth calls back.

That night, MJ dreams of flashing lightning and a voice in the dark.

*

By the time Percy Jackson is fully healed (physically, at least) from his battle with the Minotaur, Camp Half-Blood's summer session is in full swing. Cabin 6's ranks have been bolstered by the arrival of their other siblings Theo, Zelda, and Jamie and Cabin 11 is more crowded than ever.

After hearing about the incident in the girls' bathroom from a far-too-amused Priscilla, MJ finds a damp Annabeth on the pier, tracing a nonsensical pattern on the rail.

"Did you get anything out of him?" MJ asks. She holds out a gray towel that Annabeth accepts gratefully.

Annabeth does her best to dry herself off. "Not really. He told me he overheard Grover and Chiron talking about the summer solstice. Grover said that we're running out of time because of the deadline. That's really all Percy knew."

MJ lets out a low groan, folding her arms on the railing and resting her head on the wood. "Why won't they just tell us what's going on? We could help. I mean, you and I are two of the smartest demigods this camp has ever seen."

"Exactly!" Annabeth exclaims. "We're geniuses. Why won't they let us help? Chiron can try and claim I'm too young, but you're eighteen. What's his excuse for you?"

"Who knows?" MJ lifts her head to watch the light shimmer on the surface of the lake. "I hate how much it feels like he doesn't trust us."

Annabeth has the towel draped around her neck as she wrings out her braids. "Right? I mean, who's been here longer than us? Who has more training than us? Who's more qualified than us?"

"No one that I can think of," MJ says. She glances at the cheap Snoopy watch Malcolm had given her for her seventeenth birthday. "Come on, we should head back before the dinner horn."

"I know," Annabeth sighs. As the two sisters make their way back to Cabin 6, Annabeth looks at MJ, nose wrinkled. "Do you think I have time to shower first?"

MJ nods. "If you're just rinsing off, yeah."

"MJ! Annabeth!"

The sisters turn in sync to see Grover racing toward them. MJ's heart pangs at the sight of him. She's barely seen him since he arrived back at Camp Half-Blood, too busy looking after Percy, pleading with the Council of Elders to give him another chance, and doing Mr. D's bidding. Gods, he must be devastated he's lost all hope of getting his searcher's license. She'll have to try and do something to cheer him up. Maybe she could make him a new hat to conceal his horns.

"Hey, Grover," MJ greets warmly. Annabeth echoes her greeting seconds before MJ adds, "Something we can do for you?"

"Chiron and Mr. D wanted me to tell you guys to stop snooping around," Grover says a bit breathlessly. "That as of right now, what's happening on Olympus doesn't concern you, and speculating will only make matters worse."

Annabeth stares at him blankly. "And?"

"And I told them that you guys were never going to listen and that me telling you to stop would just make you snoop harder," Grover says.

"Well, at least someone around here gets us," MJ jokes. She throws her arm around Grover's shoulders and the three of them start walking toward the cabins. "How are you doing?"

Grover's shoulders sag under her arm. "Not...great, to be perfectly honest."

"If you want, I can try and talk to the council for you," she offers. "I mean, Big Three kids are on a whole different level when it comes to monsters going after them. The odds were against you and considering the circumstances, I think you did an amazing job."

"What makes you think Percy's a Big Three kid?" he laughs nervously. Both sisters raise their eyebrows at him, unimpressed, and his weak smile falls. "Yeah, I guess it's kind of obvious."

"Especially after what happened in the bathroom," Annabeth says.

Grover looks at her, eyes wide. "What happened in the bathroom?"

"Clarisse and her goons tried to stick Percy's head in a toilet," Annabeth explains. "So he busted all the plumbing and knocked them on their butts."

"Were you in the bathroom too?" Grover asks. Annabeth nods, and he grimaces. "That explains the smell."

Annabeth scowls. "Hey, it's not my fault I got doused with toilet water!"

"Why don't you run ahead and get that shower in before dinner?" MJ suggests. "And if you need to stay in there a little longer, I can corral Cabin 6."

Immediately, Annabeth's face softens. "Okay. Thanks, Mattie. See you guys later."

She takes off running, soon becoming nothing more than a dot in the distance.

Few demigods can match the children of Athena in speed: only children of Hermes or children of Nike outpace them. All demigods have a physiology not inaccurately described as superhuman, but children of certain gods' physiologies go above and beyond that. Hardly anyone can match the brute strength of an Ares kid. Children of Hephaestus tend to be more durable, likely due to the fact they're born to run workshops. While they rarely outclass the aforementioned demigods, children of Athena tend to be faster, stronger, and more durable than say a child of Aphrodite, Demeter, or Dionysus, all traits that come in handy when attempting to escape near-certain death.

And when you need to get a quick shower in before mealtime.

Grover tucks himself into MJ's side. "I can't believe I failed again."

"You didn't fail," she says.

"Percy had to drag me over the border," he says. "That's a failure."

"You got him here alive," she argues. "You did your best to protect him. That's a success in my book."

He lets out a long, sad sigh. "Too bad my best sucks."

"No, it doesn't," MJ says. She forces them to stop and grabs Grover by the shoulders to make him face her. "Look at me. How many times have you been sent out to find demigods?"

"Twice," he says uneasily. "But I—"

"And how many of those times did you manage to find a forbidden kid?"

"Both times, but—"

"Grover," she says, voice kind but firm. "How many other satyrs have located forbidden kids since the Big Three vowed not to have any more children?"

He looks at her as if she's forcing him to do a very difficult math equation. "Uh, none?"

"Exactly!" she exclaims with a radiant smile. "You have a gift for finding powerful people, Grover. It makes you the perfect satyr to go looking for Pan. If the Council can't see that, then that's on them. Not you. You are brave and capable, and I have no doubt in my mind that if they just give you one more chance, you'll prove yourselves to them. But you've already proven yourself to me."

"But I got Thalia killed," Grover whimpers, tears springing to his doe brown eyes.

MJ pulls him into a tight hug. "No, you didn't. Thalia made her choice to stand her ground. We could've all made it, but she wanted to ensure that you, me, Luke, and Annabeth did. She wanted to protect us, to save us. Don't take that away from her."

Grover wraps his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. When he speaks, his words are muffled. "And now she protects all of us."

MJ lifts her head. She can see Thalia's tree in the distance, standing proud atop Half-Blood Hill.

"Yeah," MJ agrees, voice cracking. "Now she protects all of us."

*

MJ officially meets Percy Jackson the very next day in the swordfighting arena.

"You're late," Luke says when she pops her head in.

She rolls her eyes and strolls through the open doors. "Not my fault you didn't ask Chiron for permission to let me leave my lesson when you were supposed to."

Luke cracks a grin. "Oh, yeah. My bad." When she comes to a stop beside him, he claps a hand down on her shoulder. "MJ's going to be assisting me in today's lesson. Say hi, everyone."

"Hi, MJ," Cabin 11 choruses with varying levels of enthusiasm. Priscilla and the Stoll brothers tie for the loudest, but Cilla easily achieves the most cheerful and sincere.

"Hey, guys," MJ says. Her gaze sweeps the room and snags on a twelve-year-old boy with blond curls and blue eyes like the ocean. Her smile widens. "I think everyone here knows me, but for those of you that don't, I'm MJ Winslow, Cabin 6."

The only person who doesn't know her is Percy, whose eyes go wide when she introduces herself. "You're Annabeth's sister? The list one?"

The list in question is a tradition MJ started three years ago. She noticed that a lot of new campers were bursting with questions, but unsure who to ask. She volunteered herself for the job, telling every newbie to make a mental or physical list of questions and she'd answer them as soon as she could. Once she leaves for college, Intan's going to take over list duties.

"That's me," she says, beaming. She loves being known as Annabeth's sister.

"She's also the second-best swordsman at camp," Luke says.

MJ raises her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest. "And who is there that's better than me?"

Luke's grin widens. "Oh, come on, MJ. You're good, yeah, but everyone knows you're not as good as me."

"Oh yeah?" She takes a step toward him. "Prove it."

Cabin 11 chorus, "Ooo!"

"Oh, I will," Luke teases.

She steps back and draws her sword — not from a scabbard on her hip or on her back, but from the ring on her right hand. It was a very early eighteenth birthday/graduation gift from Chiron. MJ's been using the same sword and shield pretty much since she first came to CHB, but for years, she never really had a convenient way to carry them around. So Chiron very kindly asked an old friend of his a favor and had her sword and shield turned into a bronze sword-and-shield ring. To draw her sword, she pulls the pin from the shield. To summon her shield, she taps the shield gem twice. Now she's always armed, no matter where she goes.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Percy pull out a small pad of paper and scribble something down with a stubby pencil.

Luke draws his sword too. MJ and Luke slip into flawless fighting stances, raising their blades. There's a pause as both of them wait for the other to make the first move. They stare each other down — eyes narrowed, biting back smiles. Then Luke strikes.

MJ knows this routine well. She and Luke have been doing this dance for as long as they've known each other. They have each other's moves memorized. There's something almost musical about their sparring, the clash of the blades and the parries. Ducking and dodging, twirling and twisting. A random onlooker might think the fight is choreographed, but MJ and Luke have simply been doing this for too long for it to look anything other than perfect.

The fight ends when MJ manages to disarm Luke. Their audience erupts into raucous applause. MJ bows and Cilla wolf-whistles.

"I let you win," Luke teases, sweat beaded on his brow.

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Castellean."

After that, they move into the actual training portion of today's lesson. MJ and Luke start his campers with basic stabbing and slashing, their targets armored straw-stuffed dummies. She can't help but notice the way Luke watches Percy closely, even when he's helping someone else. It's probably harmless — despite knowing they're not really supposed to speculate, Percy's parentage has been a hot topic around camp recently. Luke is probably just trying to see what Percy's naturally good at. Where a demigod's natural talents lie is usually a big hint to their parentage. Luke's just gathering clues, like everyone else.

Still. Something about the way Luke eyes Percy leaves a bad taste in her mouth. It's probably just her anxiety making her see things that aren't there.

Percy doesn't have the natural swordsmanship skill that's typically seen in children of Athena, Ares, and Nike, but he's actually not bad for a first-timer. If they could just find him a blade that feels right in his hands, she thinks he could be one hell of a fighter. Maybe someday he could even be better than Luke. Or maybe even better than her. Well, no, actually, he'll never be better than her. But MJ has a feeling that, with the right amount of training, Percy could overtake Luke as CHB's second-best swordfighter in a couple of years.

When they move on to dueling in pairs, MJ partners up with Cilla and Luke with Percy. Cilla isn't much of a swordsman — she's more of a dagger girlie. Still, she puts up a decent enough fight that MJ doesn't get bored. Eventually, Luke calls for a break. Cilla pours MJ a cup of water.

"Thanks," MJ says before downing the entire thing.

Cilla quirks an eyebrow. "Hey, are you okay? You seem a little...off."

"Had a bad dream last night," MJ says.

She opens her mouth to explain, but her gaze snags on something behind Cilla — Luke, dumping ice water on his head. Her stomach clenches. Why the fuck is that so attractive? Why does he have to be so good-looking? Gods, he's really starting to piss her off. Maybe she should just drown him in the lake and be done with it. She's a genius, she could totally get away with murder.

Luke catches her looking and smirks. "See something you like, Winslow?"

"No, actually," she says rather snidely. "You're getting water all over the floor. It's a safety hazard."

"My sincerest apologies," Luke says, walking over to her with his hand flattened over his heart. "I would hate to cause some kind of horrible accident."

Then he shakes his head like a wet dog, water and sweat flying everywhere. MJ vaguely registers Percy dumping water on himself too.

"Keep your sweat to yourself, sir!" Cilla hollers, ducking behind MJ to use her as a human shield.

MJ, on the other hand, activates her actual shield, protecting herself (and Cilla) from Luke's shenanigans. When Luke's finally done, she deactivates her shield and flips him off. He just smiles.

"Okay everybody, circle up!" Luke calls out. "If Percy doesn't mind, I want to give you a little demo."

MJ frowns. "Why don't you and I do the demo?" And spare Percy the embarrassment, goes unsaid.

"Percy's my partner," Luke says simply.

Cabin 11 and MJ gather around to watch Luke's demo — a disarming technique that she taught him, though he'll never admit to that.

"This is difficult," Luke tells them. "I've had it used against me—"

"By me," MJ cuts in, eliciting giggles from the rest of Cabin 11.

Luke rolls his eyes fondly. "Yes, by MJ. So no laughing at Percy, now. Most swordsmen have to work years to master this technique."

He demonstrates the deceptively simple move on Percy in slow-motion first — twist the enemy's blade with your sword's flat to force them to drop their weapon. Percy's training sword falls to the floor.

"Now in real time," Luke says once Percy's picked up his sword. "We keep sparring until one of us pulls it off. Ready, Percy?"

The second Percy nods, Luke's on him. Luke goes for the disarming technique almost immediately, and the fight should end there, but it doesn't. Because all of a sudden, Percy Jackson can fight. He blocks Luke's attempt, then counters. He takes a step forward and tries to thrust his sword, but Luke deflects it with ease. MJ watches Luke's expression shift from perfectly casual to determined. But it's more than just determined. There's something in Luke's eyes that MJ doesn't like.

Luke presses Percy harder, and Percy must know his luck can only last so long because he goes for the disarming technique. His blade hits the base of Luke's sword. Percy twists, throwing his whole weight behind a downward thrust that sends Luke's sword clattering to the floor.

The tip of Percy's blade hovers just a couple of centimeters from Luke's chest. Everyone but MJ is gaping, stunned into silence, even Luke. But not MJ. MJ's smiling because now she knows. Not in the way she knows things sometimes, but in the way she knows 2+2=4.

Percy's the camper Annabeth's been waiting for.

"Nicely done, Percy," MJ praises.

Percy lowers his sword. He's staring at Luke, his expression sheepish. "Um, sorry."

Luke blinks at him. "Sorry?" A wild grin takes over his face. "By the gods, Percy, why are you sorry? Show me that again!"

Percy doesn't want to. Luke insists. The second match goes exactly the way the first one should've — Luke disarms Percy the second their swords connect.

There's a long, awkward pause.

"Beginner's luck?" Chris Rodriguez suggests.

MJ shakes her head. "No, I don't think so."

Percy whirls to face her, eyes practically bugging out of his head. "You don't?"

"I know it's not," MJ says.

The emphasis she puts on 'know' is enough to make the kids in Cabin 11 break out into whispers. Everyone at camp who's been here for at least one summer knows about MJ's...well, there's no real name for it, but she calls it enhanced intelligence. Sometimes, she just knows things. The information just pops into her head and she can feel it in her bones that it's true. That's how she knew Luke killed the spider before he walked out of Cabin 6, how she knew Cilla's favorite ice cream flavor is orange creamsicle without having to ask, and how she knows that Jason Grace is out there somewhere, alive and well.

MJ's enhanced intelligence comes from her mother — after all, Athena is the goddess of intelligence. It makes perfect sense that her children (or at least some of them) would have a knack for knowing things they have no way of knowing. And yet, according to both Chiron and Mr. D, MJ's the first child of Athena to have such a gift.

Well, she calls it a gift, but that feels inaccurate because she can't control it. She can't decide when she learns something or what she learns, the piece of information just comes to her. It's completely random and inconsistent, which means it's really only helpful on occasion. Honestly, she learns more from just listening to her siblings ramble on about their latest project or hyper-fixation than she ever has from her 'gift.' But the fact that she has it all must mean that her mother does actually care about her. Maybe even loves her.

After all, she only gives gifts to her favorites.

Anyway, MJ has a reputation amongst the year-rounders and returning campers. When she says she knows something, they listen. But Percy is new to camp, so he asks, "And how do you know that?"

"Enhanced intelligence," MJ says. "Every now and then, I just know something that I shouldn't."

Percy doesn't look particularly impressed. "And how often are you right?"

"Every time," Luke says. "MJ's always right." He looks Percy up and down as if appraising him for sale. "I wonder what you could do with a balanced sword..."

*

Later that day, MJ is sitting at the lake with Silena and Cilla, discussing this and that when Percy walks up to them.

"Sorry to interrupt," he says with a grimace, "but I was wondering if maybe you could answer some of my questions now?"

"Oh, yeah, sure!" MJ jumps to her feet, beaming. "C'mon, let's go to the beach to talk. Later, girls!"

Cilla and Silena call out goodbyes after her.

Percy doesn't say anything during the relatively short walk to the beach. As expected, the beach is void of campers, as it's not a nice enough day to want to spend on the shore. MJ takes a deep breath, letting the salt air flood her lungs. She has a bit of a complicated relationship with the beach — a side effect of her mother's rivalry with Poseidon — but she loves it anyway.

"Can I see your list?" MJ asks, holding out her hand. Percy passes the small notepad over and she scans it quickly, flipping through the pages. She does a double-take. "Wow, you have a lot of questions."

Percy blushes. "Sorry."

"No, I love it when people have a lot of questions!" MJ gushes. She leads him over to a couple of lounge chairs Cabin 11 procured for the beach through definitely legal means. "Honestly, I can never decide what I like more — asking questions or answering them."

"I guess knowledge is kind of your thing," Percy says. He takes the blue lounge chair, leaving her the sea green. "'Cause of your mom."

"Mother," MJ corrects. She sees Percy's brow furrow and hastily adds, "The thing about gods and goddesses — and my mother in particular — is that when they decide they want to have a child with someone, they'll find a way. So my siblings and I are born from an intellectual bond, not a..." Don't say sexual, don't say sexual, he's only twelve and he hardly knows you, you can't say sexual because it'll make things too weird. "Not a necessarily romantic bond."

"What I'm trying to say," MJ says, "is that gods can have children with whoever they want, regardless of their or the mortal's gender. So I actually have two biological moms. To me, Mom is my mortal parent, Caroline. Mother is my godly parent. Make sense?"

Percy nods.

She checks his list again. "I'm guessing the ones with stars next to them are the ones you want answered the most?" Another nod. She smiles softly. "We'll start with those then."

First starred question: How do monsters work?

"Annabeth said that monsters die and come back and that Chiron calls them archetypes," Percy says. "I don't really know what that means."

MJ rolls her eyes. "Oh my gods, I've told her to stop using the explanation. It doesn't actually help anyone." She raises her eyebrows. "You play video games?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes."

"You ever play a game where you kill an enemy but it respawns if you return to that area or something?"

"Yeah?"

"That's how monsters work," she says. "You can kill them, but eventually they do respawn, just like video game enemies."

Percy blinks at her. "That...makes a lot more sense, actually."

"Quelle surprise," MJ jokes. "Okay, next up is: Why don't we just build a cabin for unclaimed campers? And the answer is that we would love to, but we'd have to get permission from the gods and um, they're not the easiest to get in touch with." She pulls her knees up to her chest. "I've always had this dream of building a cabin for unclaimed campers and dedicating it to Hestia."

"Who's Hestia?" Percy asks.

"One of the original gods," MJ says. "She was one of the original Olympians, but she stepped down for Dionysus. She's the goddess of the hearth. You should ask Annabeth about her at your next lesson."

(MJ will never admit this out loud, lest she be smote, but Hestia's her personal favorite goddess.)

She checks the page. "Okay. How does godly DNA work? Oh, that's a toughie. So, from what I understand, each god has completely unique DNA, even the twins. They pass that unique DNA down to us, their kids. That's why we don't consider ourselves related to those outside our respective cabins because we're just...not. We don't share DNA, we weren't raised as cousins or whatever, we're not legally family. Yes, technically most of our parents are related (though even then, just barely), but we're not, except to our siblings. You picking up what I'm putting down?"

"Yeah, I think that makes sense," he says. "Can we skip to the last question on the list really quick?"

"Yeah, of course," she says, flipping through the pad's pages until she gets to the end. The last question he wrote down is 'Why are some weapons disguised as ordinary objects and others are just weapons?' "That's an excellent question!"

She shows him her ring like one might show off an engagement ring. It's a signet-style ring made from celestial bronze. On the band is a beautiful shield, at the center of which lies a ruby — her birthstone. Sheathed diagonally in the shield is a sword pin. The cross-guard of the sword is set with a tiny moonstone. Of course, her actual sword and shield aren't bejeweled or even particularly fancy, but Chiron really wanted the ring to look nice, and it does. It's absolutely beautiful.

"So, my sword and shield are actually kind of a special case," she explains. "They were just normal weapons, but Chiron got them turned into this ring as a birthday/graduation gift. The disguise is actually the weapon's dormant form. So I activate my sword by pulling the little sword pin and the shield by tapping on it twice."

Percy tilts his head. "Does Chiron get every camper birthday/graduation gifts?"

Heat rises to MJ's cheeks. She twirls her ring around her finger. "Uh, no, but I'm not exactly your typical camper. I've been a year-rounder for five years."

"Like Annabeth and Luke," Percy says. He gestures to her necklace. "You all have the same amount of beads. Did you get here around the same time?"

"We arrived together, actually," she says. "It's a...bit of a story and not one I'm interested in telling at the moment. But I've actually known Luke for like, a decade."

Percy's eyes go comically wide. "Wow. No wonder you guys are so close."

"He's one of my best friends," MJ says. "I don't know who I'd be without him."

They lapse into silence, letting her words settle. Surprisingly, despite how little they know each other, it's not an uncomfortable silence. When MJ gets sick of it, she answers more of Percy's questions. They talk until it's time for dinner, and then they walk to the dining pavilion together.

"Thanks for getting Grover to safety, by the way," MJ tells him, fidgeting with her beloved Snoopy watch. "He's a good friend of mine, and I've lost enough of them already." Percy nods, avoiding her gaze, and she winces. "I'm really sorry about your mom, Percy. If there's anything I can do to help — give you a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, or show you where Cabin 10 keeps their secret ice cream stash — just let me know, okay?"

Percy looks at her, tears shining in his eyes. "Thanks, MJ." He hesitates, then adds, "Annabeth's really lucky to have a sister like you."

MJ's face breaks into a dazzling smile. "Well, if you're ever desperate for a big sister, I have so many younger siblings that you could probably just insert yourself into the group and I wouldn't notice."

Percy cracks a smile. MJ's heart breaks a little when she realizes it's the first one she's seen from him all day. She wishes she could pull him into a hug and promise him that things will get better, that it won't always hurt this much, but they don't know each other well enough for that, and anyway, it'd be a lie. There's a gaping hole in MJ that Thalia used to fill, and it only seems to hurt more as the years go by.

Some things you never really get over. Some ghosts haunt you forever.

*

Friday's game of Capture the Flag ends with a bang: Percy, the kid who made the bathroom explode and gets reinvigorated by contact with water, gets claimed by Poseidon, the god of the sea. MJ tries (and fails) to act surprised.

After that, the next couple of days pass in a blur. MJ and Luke start giving Percy one-on-one swordfighting lessons, switching instructors every time. This, of course, leads to some bickering over which instructor he likes better. Luke insists it's him, but MJ knows it's her because Percy walks away from her lessons sweaty but smiling. He leaves Luke's lessons wincing.

Annabeth is more agitated than ever — getting confirmation that Percy is the son of their mother's enemy has thrown a serious wrench in her plans. It doesn't help that they still have no idea what was stolen on the winter solstice, or what's going to happen at the summer solstice. Both Annabeth and MJ had hoped they'd have more answers by now, but no. Just the same questions and a few new ones.

Early Sunday morning, Annabeth gets summoned to the Big House. MJ knows in her way of knowing things what the meeting's about, but she lets a buzzing-with-excitement Annabeth announce to Cabin 6 that she finally has a quest. She'll be accompanying Percy and Grover to find what's missing — Zeus's master bolt, which Percy has been accused of stealing under Poseidon's orders. MJ's thrilled for Annabeth, of course, but she can't help but feel a little disappointed and a lot worried.

Whenever she and Annabeth talked about Annabeth's destiny and going on her first quest, their theories and fantasies all had one thing in common: in every single one, MJ was at her side. Now Annabeth has the quest she's been waiting for, and MJ's not a part of it. She can't keep her little sister from harm, guide her down the right path, or help her form a killer battle strategy. All she can do is sit at home and pray for the questers to come back safely.

The thought alone makes her sick.

Still, MJ helps Annabeth pack and plan. When the time comes for them to leave, she walks Annabeth, Percy, and Grover to the top of Half-Blood Hill, where Chiron and Argus wait. MJ and Annabeth take a moment to press their hands — MJ's left, Annabeth's right — to the trunk of Thalia's tree. Sometimes, when MJ does this, she can almost feel Thalia's heartbeat pulsing under her palm, or hear Thalia's laughter in the wind whistling through the branches. It kills MJ that she wasn't there when Thalia needed her most.

And now she can't be there for Annabeth either.

"This is Argus," Chiron tells Percy. "He will drive you into the city, and, er, well, keep an eye on things."

MJ tenses at the sound of footsteps coming up from behind, but it's just Luke running to join them. He's carrying the winged shoes his father gave him.

"Hey!" Luke exclaims breathlessly. "Glad I caught you."

Annabeth ducks her head bashfully and MJ's stomach churns.

"Just wanted to say good luck," Luke says, looking squarely at Percy. "And I thought...um, maybe you could use these."

MJ's brow furrows as Luke hands Percy the sneakers. Once Percy's holding them, Luke activates the wings with the name "Maia!" and Percy gets so startled he drops the shoes. MJ has no idea why Luke thinks that giving a son of the sea god flying shoes could end in anything other than disaster, but she keeps her thoughts to herself. Maybe Grover can use them instead. He certainly looks interested.

"These served me well when I was on my quest," Luke says with an easygoing smile. "Gift from Dad. Of course, I don't use them much these days..."

His face falls. MJ lands her hand on his shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. He offers her a small, strained smile in return.

"Hey, man," Percy says. "Thanks."

"Listen, Percy..." Luke shoves his hands into his pockets, probably to hide the fact that he's fidgeting. "A lot of hopes are riding on you. So just...kill some monsters for me, okay?"

Luke and Percy shake hands, then Luke pats Grover on the head between his horns — a very lackluster goodbye to someone he's known for half a decade. Finally, Luke gives Annabeth a tight hug. Then he's racing back down the hill, calling over his shoulder for MJ to keep her goodbyes short. As if.

"You're hyperventilating," Percy notes, smirking at Annabeth.

Annabeth scowls. "Am not."

"You let him capture the flag instead of you, didn't you?" he teases.

"Oh...why do I want to go anywhere with you, Percy?" Annabeth huffs. She shakes her head and turns to MJ, smiling sadly. "This is it, then."

"Yeah," MJ says, then promptly bursts into tears.

"Oh, don't cry, Mattie," Annabeth says in a soft tone of voice reserved for her siblings as she pulls MJ into her arms. "It'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be back before you know it, and I'll have a ton of new stories to share."

"We'll bring you back a souvenir," Grover promises.

MJ buries her face in Annabeth's hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She lifts her head and smiles waterly at the questers. "I just want you guys to know that no matter what happens, however this quest turns out, I'm proud of you. Okay? I'm so, so proud of all you've accomplished thus far and all you're going to accomplish. No matter what happens, you're heroes in my book. Not that I think you're going to do anything other than find Zeus's bolt, find the thief, and save the world because you guys are so amazing and I have the utmost confidence in you, I just wanted to let you know that you don't have anything to prove. Not to me, at least."

Now Grover bursts into tears.

"Look what you've done," Annabeth teases. "You made Grover cry."

"I might start crying too if she doesn't stop talking," Percy jokes half-heartedly. He already has tears in his eyes.

MJ pulls away from Annabeth to hug Percy, giving him a big squeeze. When she lets him go, she hugs Grover next and presses a kiss to the top of his head, right between his horns. She's letting him go to hug Annabeth when she remembers something.

"Oh my gods, I almost forgot!" She pulls a lime green frog bucket hat out of her back pocket. "I crocheted this for you, to cover your horns."

Grover takes it from her, trying and failing to suppress a sob. "It's beautiful. I love it so much." He promptly removes his beanie and puts on the bucket hat. It looks perfect on him.

"I'm probably going to be stress-crafting while you guys are gone so I'll have more for you when you come home," MJ says. "Oh, and I have gifts for you guys too."

She gives Percy her lucky Snoopy keychain that Luke stole for her as a tenth birthday gift from a pawn shop and Annabeth gets—

"I can't take this," Annabeth says, trying to give the necklace back.

"But I'm giving it to you," MJ says simply, pushing Annabeth's hand away.

"This is from your mom," Annabeth says. Her voice cracks. "This is the last thing — I can't take this, Mattie."

The necklace in question is relatively simple — it's a golden locket. A starburst is carved into the center of the small oval. At the heart of the starburst is a tiny rhinestone. It originally belonged to MJ's great-grandmother, Agatha Washington, who passed it down to MJ's mom Caroline on her sixteenth birthday, and Mom gave it to MJ for her eighth.

During the years they lived on the streets, Luke tried time and time again to get her to hawk it, but the sentimental value was too high. Even if it wasn't, she doubts it could ever fetch a very high price. It's broken — the locket doesn't open, and they've never had the money to fix it. MJ has no idea what's inside if anything's inside at all.

"Annabeth Chase," MJ says, "if you don't take this damn locket, I'll never forgive you."

Annabeth chews on her bottom lip. "What if I lose it?"

"I'll blame the Fates," MJ jokes. Face softening, she adds, "I know you won't lose it. That's exactly why I'm giving it to you. That and, it's a very special necklace."

"What's so special about it?" Percy asks, wiping at his eyes.

MJ beams, rocking up onto her tiptoes. "Mom says Great-Grandmother Agatha got it when she was a little girl in the early 1930s. A kind stranger gave it to her and told her to hold on to it and pass it down. According to Mom, the locket's never been open. Apparently, the stranger told Agatha that it could only be opened on one very special day in the future."

Percy scowls. "Well, that's vague."

"MJ, dear," Chiron speaks up. She'd almost forgotten he was there. "The children really need to get going now."

"Right, yes, of course," MJ says. She gives Percy and Grover a quick hug, then pulls Annabeth into a bone-breaking embrace. Before she lets go, she presses a kiss on Annabeth's forehead. "I love you so much, Buffy."

Annabeth sniffles. "Forever and always?"

"Forever and always," she says, wiping Annabeth's tears away. Another forehead kiss later, she gently nudges Annabeth forward. "Now go save the world."

MJ wants to see them off properly, but she knows she has to be the one to walk away first. Chiron has his own goodbyes to say and advice to give, and she's sure he could appreciate a bit of privacy. She waves, new tears streaming down her face even as she smiles wide, then turns around and starts back down the hill, arms crossed over her chest.

Her destination? Cabin 6, to give all of her siblings giant hugs.

*

"Thought I'd find you here."

MJ opens her eyes to see Luke standing in front of her, hands on her hips. She smiles and pats the patch of grass next to her. "Care to join me?"

"I think I shall," Luke says. He flops down next to her and leans back against the trunk of Thalia's tree.

MJ's been spending a lot of time on top of Half-Blood Hill since Annabeth, Grover, and Percy left on their quest. She usually knits or works on her embroidery, or she reads. She knows it's silly, but she feels safest here, shaded by the pine branches.

Today she's working on embroidering an underwater scene for Percy to hang up in Cabin 3 when he gets back. Because they will come back, she knows they will. Annabeth's an incredible strategist and fighter, Percy's extremely powerful and has loads of raw talent, and Grover is the bravest satyr MJ's ever known. She has the utmost faith that the questers will return home safe, sound, and victorious.

She worries anyway. The worry is corrosive and all-consuming. She's physically sick with it — she's almost completely lost her appetite, she hardly sleeps, and when she does sleep, she has these awful nightmares of lightning, thunder, fire, and a voice that chills her to the bones. She can't shake the feeling she's being watched at all times.

And it's not just MJ that's struggling. More and more campers show up to breakfast with bags under their eyes. The constant storms and the threat of war have put even the cheeriest of campers in a shit mood. Satyrs whisper nervously to each other, and dryads rarely come out of the woods anymore. CHB is in a delicate state, teetering on the brink of total panic, and really, can you blame them? If even one tiny thing goes wrong, the world's as good as over, and nothing, not even knowing Annabeth, Grover, and Percy are on the case, is enough to ease the blood-curdling dread.

So yes, MJ has faith in the questers, but she's not sure faith's enough anymore.

"Is that for Percy?" Luke asks, gesturing to the embroidery hoop. She nods and he pouts. "How come you never make me nice things?"

"I make you nice things all the time," MJ says. "Your siblings just steal it all."

Luke cracks a smile. "Oh, yeah. I thought those socks Chris was wearing looked familiar."

MJ snorts. She tucks her project, her thread, and her needle into her tote bag, which sits next to her at the base of the tree. She pushes a stray curl behind her ear and bumps her shoulder into Luke's playfully. "Any particular reason you came to bother me, or were you just missing my company?"

"Little bit of both." He leans against her. "Feels like it's been forever since we've hung out just the two of us."

Yes, there's a very good reason for that — I'm in love with you but I don't want to be.

"Sorry," MJ says with a half-hearted shrug. "Just busy, that's all."

Luke pulls back and raises his eyebrows at her. "Are you busy or are you avoiding me?"

Well, fuck.

"Avoid you?" She scoffs, panic sinking its claws into her. "Why would I avoid you?"

"Because I want to do this," he says, and then he kisses her.

Embarrassingly, it takes MJ at least thirty seconds to realize what's happening, and she really only catches on when he tries to stick his tongue in her mouth. Suddenly, her brain catches up, and she takes it all in at once. He has one hand on her jaw, and the other on her waist. His lips are a little chapped and when she lets him use his tongue, the sensation makes her skin crawl. She doesn't like this. She doesn't want this. On some level, he knows that, and he's kissing her anyway.

And she's letting him.

It isn't until Luke moves his hand from her hip to her breast that MJ gathers the strength to push him away.

"What the fuck was that?" she spits at him, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

He laughs. He laughs. "I thought it was pretty obvious what it was."

"Yeah, and what it was is wrong," she says. She rushes to get to her feet, grabbing her tote bag off the ground. "I mean, shoving your tongue down my throat under Thalia's tree?"

"She's dead, MJ," Luke says, standing too. The humor is gone from his face. "She's been dead for five fucking years. Don't you think it's time we moved on with our lives?"

"Moved on?" She laughs, but it's all sharp edges and bitterness. "Don't pretend for a fucking second that you've moved on from Thalia's death because I know you, Luke and her death is what drives you. Just like it drives me."

Luke runs his fingers through his hair. "Okay, yeah, sure, but if you're saying the reason you don't want to be with me is because of some stupid little crushes Thalia and I had on each other as if that matters at all anymore—"

"That's not why!" MJ snaps at him.

"Why then?" He takes a step forward and she fights the instinct to take a step back. "What's holding you back? Is it Annabeth's schoolgirl crush on me? Because she's a smart girl, MJ, I think she's figured out it's not going to happen."

"It's not about Annabeth either," MJ says, softening as she always does because it's incredibly difficult to be furious when she thinks about her siblings.

"Then what is it?" Luke demands. "Please explain it to me because I-I don't get it, MJ. We'd be perfect together. I mean, we're best friends, we're attracted to each other, so what is it? Is there someone else? Is it—"

"It's you!" she blurts out.

Luke staggers back as if she'd hit him. His voice goes uncharacteristically soft. "What?"

MJ has to turn away. She's too much of a coward to look him in the face while she says what she has to. "It's not Thalia, it's not Annabeth, it's not somebody else, it's you. You're what's holding me back. Because you're angry, Luke. You're really fucking angry, and you get angrier every day, and you try to hide but you can't hide it from me."

"What, so I'm not allowed to be angry?" He scoffs. "I'm not allowed to be upset about my circumstances, about how the gods treat us, about—"

"Of course, you're fucking allowed to be angry!" MJ interjects, teeth bared. "I'm angry too! All the fucking time! But it's not about the fact that you're angry, it's about the fact that it's all you are!" She gets up in his face now, wanting him to see the fear in her eyes. "You're letting your anger consume you, and I'm scared, okay, scared about what you'll become if you don't start letting things go instead of collecting injustices like some kind of horror movie villain!"

He scowls at her. "Oh, fuck off! You're not scared of me, you love me!"

"I'm fucking terrified!" she screams. "I'm terrified of looking at you one day and not recognizing you! I'm terrified that you'll let your anger control your every action, and that you'll unintentionally or, gods forbid, intentionally hurt someone you love! I'm terrified that you'll raze the entire fucking planet just because Daddy didn't love you enough!"

"Take that back," Luke says. He's a little quieter now. A lot less angry and a lot more sad. "You don't mean that, okay, so take it back."

"I can't take it back because I do mean it, Luke," MJ tells him. She's trying to be gentle now, but it's so hard because all she wants to do is beat some sense into him. "Yes, our parents might not be the best out there, but there is so much more to life than them, okay? There is so much more to family than DNA. After everything your dad has done, after all the ways he's hurt you, don't let him define you." She lowers her voice to a whisper, eyes wide and pleading. "Don't let him take your heart."

It was something Mom used to say to her. MJ dealt with so much bullying in her first eight years of life. It could've made her bitter. It could've made her cruel. But Mom wouldn't let it. "Don't let them take your heart," she would say, cupping MJ's face in her hands. "Don't give them that power over you."

Luke walks a few feet away from her, his back to her. When he turns back around, he's angry again. "So what? So I just don't deserve love because I'm angry?"

MJ's hands ball into fists at her side. She shakes her head, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm done having this conversation with you, Luke. I've said what I need to say and I think now you should take some time to think about it and to ask yourself what you really want."

He's crying. She hasn't seen him cry since the night Thalia died. "I want you."

"Please, Luke, I can't..."

She turns away to stare at the sun-baked strawberry fields. Despite all of the yelling, they haven't drawn any sort of crowd. Maybe it's because everyone knows better than to be within a hundred yards of one of their fights. Maybe their screaming has just been lost to the wind, swept away by Aeolus.

"I can't talk about this anymore," MJ says. The tears she's been holding back this whole time finally slip free. "I'm sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear right now, but I think if we keep arguing, we'll just go in circles until we lose our voices and that's not helpful to anyone. So let's just...take a pause, okay? Revisit the topic another time, maybe."

MJ knows Luke better than anyone, which is why she doesn't give him the chance to respond. She just walks away. Well, 'walk' is a bit of an understatement. She's kind of sprinting while simultaneously trying to pretend like she's not straight-up running away from him and their conversation.

Her mind whirs as she hurries down Half-Blood Hill. She intends to hide away inside Cabin 6 for however long it takes the questers to get back, and then maybe once she's had a chance to properly vent to Annabeth, she'll show her face again. Visitors will be allowed, of course. If they weren't, Cilla would just break in. MJ has enough influence that she can get the nature spirits to bring food to the cabin, and she's persuasive enough to get Chiron to let out of lessons for the time being. Yeah, she'll just hide under her blanket until—

Is someone running? Like, toward her?

⛒⛒⛒

MJ turns just in time to see Luke running at her full speed. Before she can say or do anything, he grabs her by the arms and kisses her.

Her eyes widen in shock. His grip is so tight it's bruising. She shoves him off before he can even attempt to put his tongue back in her mouth and yells, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

⛒⛒⛒

Then she slaps him.

The sound carries more than it should. It's so damn loud the kids on the volleyball court stop their game to look.

"You guys okay over there?" Lee Fletcher calls out uneasily.

"We're fine," MJ blatantly lies. "You can go back to your game."

No one wants to get in the middle of an argument between MJ and Luke, so they don't need to be told twice. They go back to their game, occasionally glancing back over to see if she's strangled him or something.

MJ's anger fades at the sight of the red mark on Luke's cheek. She winces. "Oh my gods, Luke, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," he says, rubbing his cheek gingerly. "I deserved it. It was fucked up, grabbing you like that. You deserve the apology, not me."

True. All very true. So why does she feel so guilty? Why does she feel like she just did something horribly wrong? Her skin is crawling and she feels like she can't breathe.

"Yes, you shouldn't have grabbed me, but I shouldn't have slapped you," MJ says in a forcefully even tone. "So I'm sorry. Really, I'm so sorry."

"Maybe you were right," Luke says, shuffling awkwardly. "Maybe we should take a pause. Just...in general."

She nods. "Yeah, um, sounds good. Sorry, again."

"Don't worry about it," he says with a dismissive hand wave. "Like I said, I deserved it."

MJ nods again, then quickly whirls around and makes a beeline for Cabin 6. It isn't until she's safely inside and locked in their tiny bathroom that she realizes something — Luke never actually apologized. He acknowledged he did something wrong and that she deserved an apology, but he never said the words "I'm sorry."

And she can't remember the last time he did.

*

MJ is sitting on the wrap-around porch of the Big House drinking lemonade with Chiron and discussing what classes she'll be taking come fall when she sees Annabeth and Grover coming down Half-Blood Hill. She has to blink a few times to make sure her eyes aren't playing a trick on her. But no, it's really them. They look worse for the wear — exhausted, anxious, miserable — but they're alive. Relief floods her entire body. A broken sob leaves her as she gets to her feet. Annabeth's eyes meet hers.

The next thing MJ knows, she's sprinting toward Annabeth and Grover, and they're running too, to meet her halfway. They crash into her open arms and she pulls them close, weeping with joy. She presses at least a dozen kisses to the tops of their heads and babbles incoherently about how much she's missed them. It would be a little embarrassing if they weren't also crying and babbling about how much they've missed her. For a moment, they exist in a bubble, just the three of them and the love they have for each other.

"Where's Percy?" Chiron asks, shattering the bubble.

"Olympus," MJ answers before either Annabeth or Grover can. She lets them go so they can hug Chiron. "Returning the master bolt."

Annabeth laughs as she wipes the tears from her face. "Enhanced intelligence?"

"Deductive reasoning," MJ corrects. She glances behind her to see they have an audience of stunned campers. She wraps her arm around Annabeth's shoulders. "Why don't we sit in the Big House living room and have some hot chocolate?"

The last time they drank hot chocolate in the Big House living room was the night Thalia died. MJ's hoping to overwrite that sad memory with something better.

Mr. D joins them in the living room and very kindly conjures up some hot chocolate for the 'kids' — Chiron makes himself tea, and Mr. D, as always, sips lazily from a can of Diet Coke. MJ sits between Annabeth and Grover on the couch as they recount their quest. They leave nothing out. From the bus explosion that stranded them in New Jersey to their detour to the St. Louis Arch to everything that happened in the Underworld, and Percy's fight with Ares on the beach. It's a lot to take in. The hot chocolate helps.

"Oh dear," Chiron says when they've finished their tale. "That's...quite the adventure you kids have had."

"I'm so glad you guys are okay," MJ says. She'd stopped crying when they sat down to talk, but now she's crying again. "I was worried sick."

Grover cracks a tense smile. "Did you stress-craft?"

"Like a madwoman," MJ confirms. "Grover, I made you three new hats and a scarf. Annabeth, I made you a dress, crocheted you a cardigan, and wove you a tapestry. I made Percy some wall art to hang up in his cabin, a hat, a scarf, two sweaters, a patchwork blanket, and I also crocheted him an octopus plushie but I don't know if he'll like it. Oh, and I made all three of your burial shrouds."

"But satyrs don't get burial shrouds," Grover says.

"All heroes get burial shrouds," MJ says. "Why should you be any different?"

Grover bursts into tears and tucks himself into her side.

Annabeth shoots MJ one of her signature 'We'll be discussing this later' looks. Annabeth knows that as talented as MJ is, the only way she could get so much done in ten days is if she was skipping sleep. And meals. And lessons. Annabeth probably thinks it's because she was gone, but it's only half about that.

The other half is Luke.

She hasn't spoken to him since the day he kissed her. MJ's not in shock. She knows exactly what he did and if it was anyone else, if literally any other person at this camp had grabbed her and forced themselves on her like that, she'd already be on step six of a campaign to make their life fucking miserable. But it was Luke. It is Luke. He's one of her best friends. One of the last pieces of Thalia she has. He's known her the longest out of anyone in CHB. For nearly a decade, he's been a constant fixture in her life — a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, a face to trust.

Can all of that history really be wiped away by one stupid action? Can she really turn her back on him and everything between them because of one idiotic decision?

"MJ," Annabeth says, snapping MJ out of her thoughts.

"What?" MJ asks. It takes her a few seconds to realize that everyone is staring at her and they don't seem to like what they see.

"You were like, completely zoned out just now," Annabeth says. Glint in her eyes? Check. Crease in her brow? Check. Lips slightly parted as if she wants to say something but is holding herself back? Check. Yep, she's concerned alright.

MJ rubs her face tiredly. "It's been a long ten days, Buffy."

"Why don't we hang out in Cabin 6 while we wait for Percy to get back?" Annabeth suggests.

She's using her gentle tone of voice. More specifically, her 'upset sibling' tone. MJ hates it. Annabeth shouldn't be comforting her, she should be comforting Annabeth. Gods, she's a terrible big sister.

"I'll let the nature spirits know that a celebratory feast is in order," Chiron says. "Though I suspect they've already heard the good news."

"It's not good news," Grover says. "We can't celebrate. Not until we know Percy's survived bringing the master bolt to Zeus."

The information pushes itself to the forefront of MJ's mind, and she rubs Grover's shoulder soothingly. "Percy's fine. He's with his mom right now."

"Oh, thank the gods," Grover sighs, shoulders slumping. "It's over."

MJ and Annabeth exchange looks. It's not over. Not yet. But they'll let Grover have this moment of ignorant bliss. There'll be plenty of time to dash his hopes later after the celebrations have taken place. Because even with all of the revelations their quest has wrought, there's still one big unanswered question.

Who was the human who stole Zeus's bolt in the first place?

MJ stands up and holds her hand out to Annabeth. "C'mon. I think there are some people who'll want to see you."

Annabeth smiles and takes MJ's hand, letting MJ pull her to her feet. "Luckily for them, I want to see them too." She sniffs herself and grimaces. "And I want to shower."

"I'll talk to Silena about setting up a spa day for our three heroes," MJ says with a cheeky grin. "I think you guys have earned some pampering."

"Ooh, I could go for a facial," Grover says as he follows the sisters out of the Big House.

The sun dips below the horizon, bathing the valley in amber light. A group of campers by the volleyball courts is trying (and failing) to look like they're not just waiting for Annabeth and Grover to explain what happened. MJ looks up and sees, for the first time in weeks, a sky clear of storm clouds. She knows it's not over yet, but she can't help but smile anyway.

Stressing about who stole the master bolt can wait. When Percy gets back, they'll have a celebratory feast in the questers' honors, followed by a parade procession to the bonfire where Annabeth, Grover, and Percy will burn the burial shrouds made for them, as per camp tradition. They'll sing their silly camp songs and roast s'mores. People will badger the questers for details about their odyssey. Siblings will laugh and lean on each other. They'll rest easier tonight knowing the threat of war is no longer imminent.

It's not a total victory, but it's still a victory, and that's all MJ cares about right now.

*

The rest of the summer is almost perfect. MJ savors every day of it, knowing things will never be the same. It's not like she doesn't plan on ever coming back — she'll be back for as many summers as Chiron and Mr. D will allow. But it won't be her only home anymore. She'll have a life outside of this place.

A real life — not a few extracurriculars and friends she never sees outside of school or meets. A roommate, sharing classes with people who are there not because they have to be but because they want to be, going out to parties and to the movies, late nights out that end at a twenty-four-hour diner. It won't be easy, befriending mortals who can never know the truth about her, but she'll make it work. She'll crush all of her classes and make new connections. Maybe she'll join the film club or the student newspaper — expand her horizons.

So, yes, when she comes back to CHB for the summer, things will be different. She'll be different. But different isn't always a bad thing. It can be amazing, and it will be. Until then, life at camp is good.

By the fourth of July, MJ and Luke are best friends again, even though he still hasn't apologized. They share a picnic blanket to watch the annual fireworks show. MJ hugs Grover goodbye when he leaves to search for Pan, wearing the mushroom hat she made him. She definitely doesn't cry. At least, not until he's out of sight. Gods, she's so proud of him. He started this summer as a timid little satyr practically drowning in his self-doubt and guilt and now he's going to be the first searcher for Pan to return in two thousand years.

They grow up so fast.

On July 12th, the children of Athena and the son of Poseidon throw aside their parents' rivalry to collaborate on a very special project: Annabeth's thirteenth birthday party. They host it on the beach. It's a relatively small shindig — it's just Cabin 6, Percy, Cilla, and Silena. Luke makes a guest appearance but doesn't stay long. Annabeth does an excellent job of pretending she doesn't care. Towards the end of the party, Chiron joins them for cupcakes and the opening of presents.

"Oh, I keep forgetting," Annabeth gasps as they clean up their mess — she'd insisted on helping since it's past midnight and therefore she is no longer the birthday girl, so she's ineligible for birthday girl privileges. "I still haven't given you your locket back."

MJ frowns, stuffing the used paper plates into a Tupperware for the satyrs. "What makes you think I want it back?"

"Because your mom wanted you to have it," Annabeth says.

"And she had it because my great-grandmother wanted her to have it," MJ points out. "Now I want you to have it. It's family tradition to pass it down to the youngest."

Annabeth goes very quiet, and when MJ finally looks at her again, she realizes Annabeth is crying. Immediately, she drops everything she's doing to pull Annabeth into a hug. "Oh Buffy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Annabeth sniffles. "Thank you for being my family."

MJ pulls back to cup Annabeth's face in her hands, wiping away her tears with her thumbs. She smiles softly. "Um, I don't know how to break this to you, but we're literally sisters."

"No, I mean..." Annabeth takes a deep breath. "Thank you for being there for me. For rooting for me, for comforting me, for helping me pick out clothes, for listening to all my architectural babbling. Thank you for choosing to love me no matter how difficult I can be. DNA? DNA means nothing. You know that just as well as I do. But love means...everything. So, thank you."

"Annabeth Chase," MJ says quietly, "I will always be here for you. I will always be your biggest fan, your shoulder to cry on, and your sounding board. How difficult you can be is one of the many reasons I love you. Do you get that? I'm your big sister in the ways that matter most, and nothing can change that. No matter what happens, no matter where we are, no matter if we're fighting or not talking, no matter what, I love you. Forever and always."

Annabeth smiles. "I love you too, Mattie. Forever and always."

*

July 20th comes too soon. All of a sudden, MJ is eighteen.

Her siblings throw her a lakeside party and invite half the camp. The Stoll brothers pass out super-soakers and water balloons. With some help with the naiads in the lake, Theo sets up a slip-and-slide. Lee DJs at a booth that Charles Beckendorf and some of his siblings set up. Silena forces MJ to wear a birthday girl sash and Cilla is forced to swear on the River Styx not to shove MJ's face into the cake Zelda worked so hard on.

MJ is standing on the pier, watching everyone have a good time while she takes a break and drinks some lemonade when Percy comes up to her and apologizes for not getting MJ anything, especially after all she's given him. She just laughs.

"Friendship's not about gifts, Percy," she says, adjusting Percy's plastic cone hat that Dani had doled out to all partygoers. "It's about showing up when it matters, and even when it doesn't. You're here and you're having a good time. That's all I care about."

Percy shoves his hands into his pockets, ducking his head shyly. "Um, MJ, can I get your advice on something?"

"Yeah, of course." She leads him to the nearest unoccupied picnic blanket, plops down, and pats the spot next to her. Once he's sitting with his legs crossed, just like she is, she tilts her head curiously. "What's up?"

"I'm trying to decide what to do when summer's over," he admits. "My mom already put down a deposit for a private school in the city, and now that my shitty step-dad Gabe is gone, we can really be a family again. But camp is safer, and I should probably be training constantly with how many monsters want me dead. So what do you think?"

MJ plants her hands behind her, leaning back and stretching her legs out in front of her. "Hm, that's a tough choice. I guess at the end of the day, you have to decide what matters most — safety or family?"

Percy starts ripping out the blades of grass by the toe of his shoe. "Annabeth and Grover told me a little bit. About you and your situation with your mom, and...and Thalia. I hope that's okay."

"Of course, it's okay," MJ says. "I trust them not to tell you anything I wouldn't want you to know."

"So, why haven't you reconnected with your mom?" he asks. "Why let her think you're missing or worse?"

MJ averts her gaze, focusing on the way the afternoon sun glimmers on the surface of the lake. "I'm not really sure, to be honest. At this point, it just feels like it's been too long, you know? She has a whole new life now — there's a computer in the Big House and I look her up every now and then. She's married now, to this guy Andrew Parker. It's hard to tell online, but he seems nice. They have two kids — a son named Jordan and a daughter named Gina. I feel like if I did pop back up now, it'd just...mess everything up for her."

Percy shrugs. "Maybe that's what she wants. Maybe she'd rather you mess everything up and be in her life than keep your distance."

"Maybe," MJ concedes. "It's just...I don't know. You're lucky, Percy. Your mom knows exactly what you are and I'm sure she knows how to handle herself. My mom doesn't know that I'm a demigod. I can't imagine trying to explain that and everything I've been through to her, let alone to her husband and kids."

"Your stepdad and siblings," Percy corrects. "I mean, I understand not wanting more siblings since you already have so many, but it might be nice having a dad for once."

MJ's lips curl into a dazzling smile as she finally brings herself to look at him again. "You're really smart, Percy."

His jaw drops. "What?"

"I said you're really smart," she says, laughing. "What, hasn't anyone ever told you that before?"

Percy frowns and thinks about it for a moment, then shakes his head. "Uh, not that I can think of off the top of my head." Cheeks red, he adds, "You really think I'm smart?"

"Annabeth doesn't befriend idiots," MJ says, "and neither do I."

"Thank you," Percy says all of a sudden. "For, um, not treating me any differently after I got claimed, and for all the nice things you gave me. Especially Oscar the Octopus. He makes Cabin 3 a lot less lonely." MJ giggles and he smiles, looking rather proud of himself. Pride faltering, he clears his throat. "Sorry for just saying that randomly. I just, uh, I can't remember if I thanked you or not for all of that."

"You thanked me," she assures him. "Well, for the gifts. You haven't thanked me for not treating you differently, and you don't have to." She pulls her knees up to her chest, wrinkling her nose shyly. "I remember what it was like being the odd one out. It wasn't fun. I'd never consciously do that to someone."

Percy scoffs in disbelief. "You were bullied? You?" She nods, and he scowls. "How is that possible? You're so...you know...MJ!"

MJ throws her head back and laughs. "I would certainly hope so. But that was exactly the problem. I was loud and snarky, I was a total know-it-all, I got the best grades even with dyslexia, I was too poor, too Black, and I refused to apologize for being myself."

"I just can't picture anyone not liking you," Percy says. "You're the nicest person here."

"That's not even remotely true," MJ says, "but luckily for you, I'm quite susceptible to flattery."

Percy opens his mouth to say something else and somehow, from the look in his eyes alone, she knows it's about the prophecy and whether it's truly been fulfilled, but he never gets the chance. Luke scoops MJ off the ground and throws her into the lake no matter how much she screams for him to put her down. He's done this at least once a summer, and she usually just pretends to be mad at him.

This time? This time, she's really mad, and she's not even sure why.

But she doesn't let it show. She forces laughter and splashes him playfully. She plays the part of the adoring best friend, of the happy birthday girl. After all, no one but her and Luke knows about the kiss he forced on her. No one but her knows about the churning in her stomach when he draws near, or the way her skin crawls when he touches her nowadays. No one could even begin to understand that as much as she's sickened by his behavior, she still wants him. It doesn't make any sense, but she still wants him.

When she blows out the candles on her birthday cake, she makes a silly wish: Please let me find love with someone who isn't Luke Castellan.

*

The end of the summer session comes far too quickly for MJ's liking.

She's already feeling nostalgic, crying on and off all day. She'll be back. She knows she'll be back. But it's the end of an era. Five years of living at camp, five years of walking the same paths every day and spending every night in the same bed and eating dinner with the same people. Leaving home is a part of growing up, a natural next step. And yet there's a small part of her that can't help but think she's making a huge mistake. She tries to just ignore it. Anxiety is normal. Change is scary.

But this is good. Growing up is good.

As they walk to the bonfire for the annual bead ceremony, it occurs to her that this time tomorrow, she'll be in Pennsylvania, probably in her dorm unpacking or exploring campus. For the first time in five years, she'll just be MJ Winslow. Not MJ Winslow, daughter of Athena, or MJ Winslow, best friend of Luke Castellan. Just plain old MJ. The thought makes her giddy, even with that tiny voice in the back of her head whispering that college is the wrong choice, that camp is where she belongs.

As a co-cabin counselor, MJ helps pass out this year's end-of-summer beads. The design is fairly simple — a pitch-black bead with a sea-green trident in the dead center. When MJ hands Percy his, she watches him realize what is it and bites back a laugh at the blush that crawls up his neck.

"The choice was unanimous," Luke announces once everyone has theirs. He's standing with his back to the fire, limned in the flames. "This bead commemorates the first son of the sea god at this camp, and the quest he undertook into the darkest part of the Underworld to stop a war!"

The campers rise in a standing ovation, cheering and whooping and hollering. MJ and Intan gently force Annabeth to the front of their little group. The applause and appreciation are as much hers as they are Percy's. If only Grover could be here too, to be basked in the same praise.

Eventually, the bonfire ends, the fire itself reduced to a pile of charred logs and flickering embers. Campers filter back to their cabins for one last night of sleep before most of them go home for the summer. And this year, that includes MJ.

Before she can follow her siblings back to Cabin 6, Luke grabs her wrist. "Hey, can we go for a walk?"

"Right now?" MJ scrunches her face up in distaste. "It's really late and I need to be up kinda early so I can make sure all the part-timers are properly packed and not forgetting anything."

"If not now, when?" Luke asks. "Everything changes tomorrow, MJ. This might be our last chance."

Last chance for what exactly? She waits for him to elaborate, but he doesn't.

She sighs, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Okay, but just a short walk, okay? To the creek and back."

"Yes, ma'am," Luke says with that heartbreaker smile that makes her both want to kiss him and slap him.

Joining hands, they go into the woods. MJ can't remember the last time she was in the woods so late, but she must've been a lot younger because it's much less scary than she remembers. Sure, there are monsters around, and visibility isn't great, but there's no shiver down her spine or prickling feeling on the back of her neck like she's being watched.

"I can't believe you're really leaving tomorrow," Luke says, swinging their joined hands absentmindedly between them. "It feels like just yesterday you were sending all of your applications in."

MJ groans. "I know, right? Time is so weird sometimes. It's like, when you want it to pass quickly, it doesn't, but when you don't want it to pass quickly, all of a sudden it's the goddamn Flash."

"Yeah." They're walking with their eyes on the path ahead, but MJ catches Luke glancing at her out of the corner of her eye. He has an odd glimmer in his eyes. "What do you think you're going to miss the most?"

"My siblings, easily," she answers without a moment's hesitation. "My friends. The food. When the wind rolls through, and it smells like sun-baked strawberries and pine. And Thalia's tree. Knowing she's keeping me safe, even after death."

Luke nods, then bumps his shoulder into hers playfully. "And what about me?"

"What about you?" MJ laughs. The uneasy feeling she's been getting around him lately is nowhere to be found. She just feels happy and light. Like how she should feel with her best friend.

"Are you going to miss me?" he asks, grinning.

She raises her eyebrows playfully. "I said I was going to miss my friends, didn't I?"

"Yeah, I know, but..." Luke comes to a stop, forcing her to stop too. He looks at her with that strange glimmer in his eyes. His smile is still there, but it's weak. Tentative. "We're not just friends, are we?"

MJ hesitates. She shouldn't. She knows she shouldn't. But she wants to. At least, she's pretty sure she wants to. The want is tangled up with shame, guilt, and fear. Maybe that's a sign. Or maybe MJ's just an anxious mess.

Oh, fuck it.

"One night," she says.

He frowns. "What?"

"We give this one night," she says. "You and me. And then we move on."

Yeah, that's why she's doing this. So she can go off to college without any regrets. So she can move on from these feelings that are starting to consume her and a boy that's starting to frighten her. One night, and then they can let each other go. Romantically, that is. She hopes he'll still want to be friends after.

Slowly, a smile spreads across Luke's face. "One night," he agrees. "C'mon. I know a place."

MJ fights the sudden urge to tear her hand from his and sprint back to camp. Instead, she follows him deeper into the woods, to a cozy cave shielded by a curtain of ivy. She knows this cave — she's hidden in it once or twice for Capture the Flag. There's a blanket on the ground and a few half-melted candles that definitely weren't there the last time she was here. In an alcove in the wall sits a vase full of dying roses. Next to the vase is a stack of condoms.

Oh. Okay. That's...not quite the idea of 'one night' she had in mind, but this could be nice.

Luke crouches down to light the candles with a box of matches he pulls out of his pocket. Does he always carry those with him, or had he asked her to go on this walk with the intention of this being their destination? No, he probably carries matches with him all the time. Just in case.

Once the candles are lit, Luke straightens up and grins at her. Maybe it's just the candlelight, but his grin looks a little predatory. "What do you think?"

"It's nicer than most caves I've been in," she jokes. When she'd thought about her first time, she never pictured having it in a cave. But she's adventurous. She can do this. She wants to do this.

She thinks.

Luke closes the space between them and pulls her into a kiss. It's softer than their previous kisses. Well, previous kiss. One of those doesn't count, for obvious reasons. She tries not to think about that. Tries to focus on how nice this particular kiss is.

He deepens the kiss and pulls her even closer. His hands are roaming and she likes it. She wants this. Gods, she wants him. Since his hands are wandering, she lets hers wander too. She slips one hand under the hem of his camp shirt to touch his abs. Their kissing grows more passionate, almost frenzied. They've been holding back these feelings for years, and it shows. The touching turns into groping and squeezing. He takes his shirt off and she works on unbuckling his belt.

She wants him.

"You want to lay down?" he asks in between pressing kisses down her neck.

"Yeah," she says softly. There's an unfamiliar warmth coursing through her, a warmth she likes. She touches his arm gently. "Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," she tells him.

He kisses her again, demanding and deep. When he pulls away, he's smiling like an idiot. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

They lie down on the blanket, him on top of her. He takes off his shorts. Now clad in only his boxers, he presses more open-mouthed kisses to her neck, down to the collar of her shirt.

He tugs at the hem of her shirt. "Can I take this off?"

She nods and sits up a little to help the process. She watches his gaze drop to her breasts. It's not like he's never seen them — her bikinis and swimsuits provide the same amount of coverage as her bra does. But this is a much different context. He takes her breasts into his hands, kissing and sucking whatever skin isn't covered by her bra. It kind of tickles, and she can't help but giggle. His eyes meet hers and his smile widens.

He's reaching behind her to unhook her bra when his eyes fall on her scars. They run diagonally across her stomach — four large gashes that start a few inches below her left breast and end at her right hip. A couple of years ago, MJ and Luke had gone into the city for the weekend and encountered a gryphon. They managed to kill it, but not before it sliced MJ open and left her with these nasty scars. She's never really minded them. They're proof that she's a survivor, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

"I always forget you have these," Luke says, staring at the scars with an almost haunted look in his eyes. She supposes she can't fault him for that. After all, she would've died in his arms that day if he hadn't been able to administer her nectar and get her back to camp.

"How can you forget that?" MJ laughs. She raises her hand to his face to tenderly brush her thumb against his own scar, smiling fondly. "Scar buddies for life."

He swallows hard. "Yeah, I guess I just..." Luke grimaces. "I never realized how much of a turn-off they are."

"...oh."

"Actually, uh..." He averts his gaze. "Can you put your shirt back on?"

He could've literally carved her open and ripped out her organs and it would've hurt less.

MJ nods and grabs her shirt that he'd tossed aside. She makes sure it's right-side out before she puts it back on. All the while, her heartbeat reverberates throughout her body, and an icy feeling crawls up her spine. Once her shirt is on and her (ugly, hideous, disgusting) scars are hidden, she lays back down.

⛒⛒⛒

Luke resumes kissing her and undressing her — taking her shorts and underwear off, but not her shirt. Never her shirt. A numb sensation spreads through her limbs and then she's just lying there, letting him do whatever he wants. It's not quite dissociating, but she's not exactly fully present either. She stares wide-eyed at the cave ceiling, hardly registering anything he's doing. The world blurs around her like a watercolor painting.

He must know he's upset her because he's talking incessantly, and every now and then his words break through the white noise buzzing in her skull — he keeps calling her beautiful, saying she's so sexy, how much he wants her, how much he's always wanted her, but her shirt is still on. Her shirt is still on and the hook of her bra is digging into her back and her arms are covered in goosebumps but they're not the good kind. She is limp and lifeless and he notices but clearly doesn't care that much because he doesn't stop.

It feels like it goes on forever. Maybe it's the fact that she's teetering in and out of reality or just her terrible concept of time striking again, but she swears he fucks her for days. Not well. The only thing that gets through the numbness and the white noise besides his lies about her beauty is the pain. She knows there's supposed to be some pain and a little discomfort when the guy first enters the woman, but the pain is from the hymen breaking and hers is already broken from pegasus riding, and the discomfort is just because it's a new sensation. And it's supposed to be temporary, these bad feelings. They're supposed to go away once she adjusts to the stretch, they're supposed to give way to pleasure.

There's no pleasure in this. There is nothing but physical pain and emotional numbness and white noise and her shirt on. He finishes — she doesn't — and MJ's shirt is still on. He pulls out and the world seems to resharpen. She watches him remove the condom. She doesn't remember him putting it on, or him entering her, or him leaving the marks starting to form on her hips and thighs. The pain between her legs lingers as she pulls her underwear and shorts back on.

⛒⛒⛒

They don't talk on the way back to camp. He walks her to Cabin 6, up the porch steps, and to the door. He smiles nervously. "I had fun."

The numbness is still there, stiffening her limbs and wrapping around her heart like climbing ivy. She looks at him with a blank expression. "Okay."

MJ slips inside Cabin 6. She goes into autopilot, getting ready for bed, not thinking or feeling or processing anything. The numbness has a firm grip on her. It isn't until she crawls into her bed and pulls her blanket tight around her that the numbness dissipates and the sadness hits her. The tears come hot and fast. She buries her face in her pillow and sobs.

Thank the gods she's leaving tomorrow.

*

MJ sleeps in and her siblings let her. She's not due to leave until after lunch, so she has time. When she wakes, it's to the hustle and bustle of the part-timers making sure they have all of their things. Since she slept in, Intan, the second oldest, assumed big sister duties of helping Jamie, Zelda, and Theo. MJ knows she should get up, knows she has things to do and siblings to see off, but she closes her eyes anyway and falls back asleep.

She wakes next to Annabeth shaking her desperately. MJ's first hazy thought is that she slept way too late and missed her flight, but then she sees the fear and the tears in Annabeth's eyes and the sleep clears from her mind.

"What happened?" MJ asks, sitting up and cupping Annabeth's cheek.

"It's Percy," Annabeth cries. "Something happened in the woods...he got poisoned somehow and Chiron's treating him now, but Mattie...it's really bad. He's dying."

MJ's blood runs cold. She's not sure why, but the very next thing she asks is, "Have you seen Luke?"

Annabeth frowns, shaking her head. "Not since breakfast. Why? Did something happen on your walk last night?"

Everything changes tomorrow, MJ. This could be our last chance. That's what Luke said to her to get her to go on the walk with him. Not "You're leaving tomorrow" or "Summer's over tomorrow." Everything changes tomorrow.

MJ leans over the other side of her bed and vomits.

*

When Percy wakes in the sick bay, he's not the only one in bed. MJ's lying down too on the bed next to him, a damp washcloth draped over her forehead.

"What happened to you?" Percy asks playfully, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

MJ doesn't answer. She just stares straight ahead, a distant look in her eyes.

After a bit of pointless chatting, Percy spills what happened in the woods — the casual conversation that turned sinister, the big reveal that Luke was the lightning thief, Luke's grand villain speech, and then him leaving Percy to die by pit scorpion. Somewhere around "Luke summoned the hellhound after Capture the Flag," MJ starts shaking. Annabeth sits next to her on the bed and tucks herself into MJ's side.

MJ can hear it all in Luke's voice. Kronos will rise. You've only delayed his plans. He will cast the Olympians into Tartarus and drive humanity back to their caves. All except the strongest – the ones who serve him. There is a new Golden Age coming.

She should've seen it. No, she did see it, but she convinced herself there was still time to save him from himself. She's watched Luke transform over the years, getting progressively more and more resentful, letting his hatred and rage consume him, turning into one of the monsters they've trained to kill. She was an idiot to think that she could talk him out of it. A fool to believe the bitter comments and the disrespect of her boundaries weren't symptoms of a much worse disease.

Percy finishes his retelling and the room lapses into silence. MJ is shivering but inside, a fire burns. Luke betrayed Camp Half-Blood. He betrayed his siblings and his friends. He betrayed Chiron and Annabeth. He betrayed Thalia and he betrayed her. He took her into the woods to fuck her last night because he knew once she found out the truth, she'd despise him. How could she not?

Forget all the lying and the backstabbing and the shitty treatment — hurting her is one thing. But knowingly putting Annabeth and Grover in mortal danger? Scheming to plunge the world into war, to slaughter millions if not billions of people in the name of his twisted version of justice? Her worst fears have come true — all that matters to him is his cause. It doesn't matter who he hurts, or who dies because of him. All of it can be justified in his eyes because all of it is a step toward a "new Golden Age." All of it is a step toward handing the Earth to his master Kronos, aka the guy who ate his fucking kids.

"I can't believe that Luke..." Annabeth trails off. Anger and sadness war on her face, fighting to dominate her expression. "Yes. Yes, I can believe it. May the gods curse him...He was never the same after his quest."

"This must be reported to Olympus," Chiron declares. "I will go at once."

"Luke is out there right now," Percy says. "I have to go after him."

"No, Percy," Chiron says, shaking his head. "The gods—"

"Won't even talk about Kronos," Percy interjects. "Zeus declared the matter closed!"

Chiron sighs. "Percy, I know this is hard. But you must not rush out for vengeance. You aren't ready."

Percy is quiet for a moment, and then, "Chiron...your prophecy from the Oracle...it was about Kronos, wasn't it? Was I in it? And Annabeth?"

Chiron's eyes flicker to the ceiling. "Percy, it isn't my place—"

"You've been ordered not to talk to me about it, haven't you?"

The look on Chiron's face says it all. "You will be a great hero, child. I will do my best to prepare you. But if I'm right about the path ahead of you..."

He doesn't say anything more than that, but it's enough for thunder to boom overhead. The windows rattle in their frames and MJ considers them kin because she's still shaking and she's not sure when she'll stop.

"Alright!" Chiron shouts at nobody in particular. "Fine!" He huffs out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his face. "The gods have their reasons, Percy. Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing."

"We can't just sit back and do nothing," Percy insists.

"We will not sit back," Chiron assures him. "But you must be careful. Kronos wants you to come unraveled. He wants your life disrupted, your thoughts clouded with fear and anger. Do not give him what he wants. Train patiently. Your time will come."

Percy scoffs. "Assuming I live that long."

"You'll have to trust me, Percy," Chiron says gently. He lays a hand on Percy's ankle and it reminds MJ so much of when she woke up in the sick bay after the gryphon attack that she has to swallow bile. "You will live. But first you must decide your path for the coming year. I cannot tell you the right choice, but you must decide whether to stay at Camp Half-Blood year-round or return to the mortal world for seventh grade and be a summer camper. Think on that. When I get back from Olympus, you must tell me your decision."

He takes a deep breath as if steeling himself for what's ahead. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Argus will watch over you." Gaze landing on Annabeth, he adds, "Oh, and, my dear...whenever you're ready, they're here."

"Who's here?" Percy asks.

MJ doesn't answer, but she knows. It's Annabeth's mortal family. She's decided to give living with them another shot. MJ hopes it works out this time. If it doesn't, she might strangle Frederick Chase with her bare hands.

"And MJ," Chiron says. For the first time in at least twenty minutes, MJ tears her gaze away from the wall in front of her and looks at him. He smiles sadly. "I will most likely not return before you have to leave for your flight. So, best of luck, my child, and do let us know when you've arrived safely."

MJ nods. She knows she should get up and hug Chiron one last time before she leaves for the school year, but she can't bring herself to move. Chiron just nods and pats her knee before wheeling himself out.

"MJ," Percy says quietly. "Please say something. You're scaring all of us. Especially Argus."

Argus makes the best "Hey!" expression he can make while being covered in eyes.

MJ doesn't know what to say. Nothing seems right. It seems better to just not speak, then. No words are better than the wrong words. Yeah, she's just going to be mute for the time being.

"I let him fuck me," MJ blurts out.

Okay, scratch that plan.

Annabeth and Percy stare at her with wide eyes.

"Um..." Percy blinks rapidly. "What?"

The words come spilling out alongside a fresh wave of tears. "Luke asked me to go on a walk and I didn't want to go but he said, 'Everything changes tomorrow. Tonight could be our last chance,' so I went and we were just talking and then I called him a friend and he said we weren't just friends and he was right so I told him we could spend one night together and I guess he misunderstood what I meant because he took me to this cave—"

"Oh gods," Annabeth interrupts, wrinkling her nose. "The hook-up cave that Cabin 10 set up in the woods?"

"It's awful, don't go there," MJ says. Her eyes are practically bugging out of her skull. "I thought I wanted...I told him that I love him  and then...and then he said my scars were a turn-off."

She definitely shouldn't be discussing this with two thirteen-year-olds — actually, it's not August 18th yet, so Percy's still twelve, which is worse — and especially not with Argus in the room but she has the distinct feeling that if she doesn't say what she needs to that she'll literally explode, and she thinks that would probably be super traumatizing for everyone else in the room.

Annabeth's eyes darken. "MJ...did he hurt you? Did he force you—"

"I didn't say no," MJ cuts in. She adds, her voice cracking, "But I didn't say yes. I just laid there and it was awful and it hurt and I'm sorry I'm telling you all this because I know it is way too much information and gods, have either of you two even had the proper birds and the bees talk yet but it just hurts so much." She lets out a broken sob. "I cried all night and I can't stop crying."

Annabeth tugs MJ over to Percy's bed, and then both she and Percy hug MJ. They sit there for a while, just hugging while MJ sobs and Argus stands in the corner, looking like he wishes he could be literally anywhere else right now.

"Don't worry, MJ," Percy speaks up, patting her back awkwardly. "When we find Luke and stop him, you can be the one to kill him."

MJ sniffles. "I would like that."

"That malaka," Annabeth swears. "Betraying everyone is one thing, but hurting you like that? How could he? I thought...I thought he really loved you."

"Maybe he does," MJ says. "I think Luke has different definitions of love and justice, right and wrong. And I think there's no saving him. I think he's been too far gone for a while now and I just pretended like he wasn't because the alternative was too painful."

"Maybe getting away from camp for a while will be a good thing," Annabeth says. "Speaking of which...I hate to say this, but you should probably get going if you don't want to miss your flight."

So MJ does get going. She gets her things and hugs all of her siblings and friends goodbye, wishes Percy luck living at home, and then Lee Fletcher drives MJ to the airport — it was supposed to be Luke who drove her but, well....yeah.

Everything goes smoothly. She gets to Abbott University around dinner, finds her dorm easily, and gets to work unpacking. And as she lies in her bed that night, her roommate snoring, she prays for a great first semester. 

As you might recall, MJ doesn't get what she prayed for.

Four painful months later, she meets an odd stranger and then finds a peculiar puddle in an alleyway. But it's not a puddle. It's a portal. It's a portal, and she's falling through it and it's burning her alive.

And it's still better than college.

*

sorry about the awkward ending but i just needed it to be done lol

my poor baby mj has been through so much and she's only going to go through more, but i want to assure you all that mj does have a happy ending. pain is a part of life but so are joy and love and mj will experience more of the latter than the former 

this is a sad chapter. this is not a sad story

btw: malaka = greek for asshole. literal translation is man who masturbates but it's used to mean asshole/jerk