Chapter 10
June Ellington's mansion.
It felt like a letdown, Peter had to admit as he climbed the stairs. Henry's gambit was so obviously not true. Was it a bad sign that he'd actually come to enjoy the complexity Henry usually imbued in his pranks?
Then he walked through the door of Neal's loft. Not only was the aforementioned contractor there, taking measurements on the balcony, but a much more familiar figure was standing beside June.
"Joe!" Peter called out, shocked to see his brother. "I didn't know you were in town."
Hearing Peter's voice, Joe transformed. He'd been standing with arms crossed and a forbidding expression, but now he visibly loosened up and smiled. "I'd arranged with Elizabeth to be a surprise guest tonight at your townhouse, but you managed to surprise me first. I didn't know you were going to be here."
"Last-minute lunch invitation," Peter explained. "Neal and I had surveillance duty in the van today, and he took pity on me when the lunch hour rolled around. Will you be staying long?"
"Only the one night," Joe said. "Now that I'm settled in Baltimore, I put my home in Albany on the market. It sold last week, so I'm driving up to clear out the stuff I'd left behind. I'll carry some of it back in my truck, but most will go to a consignment store."
The contractor handed the piece of paper he'd been writing on to Joe. He made a comment in Spanish, and Peter recognized the word for bad.
"Thanks, Horatio," Joe said. "I'll stop by your office this afternoon."
"Thank you, Horatio," June echoed.
Horatio? Peter wondered if Neal's quote from Hamlet this morning had been a coincidence. "Interesting name," he said in an aside to Neal as the contractor made his way downstairs.
"He's Horatio Vasquez, one of the owners of Vasquez Brothers Construction. I met him when June remodeled the loft's bathroom."
Peter nodded. He'd met a few members of the family when they remodeled his kitchen a few months ago, but mostly El had dealt with the construction crew.
"You get the vision, right?" Henry said. "Build a second bedroom on this half of the balcony. Put in a smaller door to the balcony back here, near the fireplace."
Peter got it, and he understood why Joe was frowning and Horatio had grumbled. The balcony was spectacular, and the wall of windows in the loft made the space seem much larger than it actually was. Replacing those windows with a solid bedroom wall would make the apartment seem much smaller and darker. "You'd have to put a wall here, too," he said, pointing to the current bedroom. "Otherwise Neal wouldn't have any privacy with a roommate, especially if he had... well, you know, had Fiona over."
Neal's expression tightened even more.
"Yes, naturally," June agreed.
"But you can't be serious," Peter continued. "Reducing the size of that spectacular balcony would decrease the value of your home."
Joe nodded. He must be here in his role as an architect.
June held fast. "Some things are more important than money. You mentioned Fiona, but she's leaving for Europe in less than a week and will be away for months. Neal's going to be lonely. Having Henry here will help."
Henry started to nod, but then looked askance at Neal. "I'm not exactly planning to replace Neal's girlfriend."
"Neal knows what I mean," June said. "And Henry, poor thing. It's obvious you're nervous about moving to New York."
Neal snorted. "Yeah right. Henry never gets nervous."
"Then you haven't been paying attention," she insisted.
Everyone turned toward Henry. "Why would I be nervous?" he asked, looking uncomfortable.
Peter frowned. This wasn't Henry in the midst of a con. He wasn't smirking or feigning innocence.
June put an arm around her houseguest. "You grew up surrounded by an extensive loving and supportive family. Then you went to college in an environment designed to support young students who were away from home for the first time. When you struck out on your own, you weren't really alone. Neal was with you, right up until you returned to your hometown. Now, for the first time, you're moving to a massive new city without much of a safety net. Neal's really all you have here. Of course you want him as a roommate as you get on your feet."
Henry shrugged and stared at the floor. "I'm fine. If Neal doesn't want me here, I'm perfectly capable of being on my own." There was defiance in his voice, but it was deeply shadowed with sadness.
Neal was staring, mouth open, until Peter prodded him. "Of course you're welcome to stay with me," Neal said, looking nearly as uncomfortable as Henry did.
June's phone beeped and she read a text message. "That's Emil, telling us lunch is ready. Let's continue this conversation downstairs."
They followed her down, but Neal paused at the entrance of the dining room and asked Peter, "Should I call off the haunting? I feel like I'm kicking Henry when he's down."
"Don't make any rash decisions. I don't think we've gotten to the bottom of this, yet."
Joe grabbed Peter's arm when Neal walked away. Nodding toward Mozzie in his ghostbuster attire he asked, "Is that the guy from my bachelor party?"
"The one who turned the party from a poker game into an investigation, yes," Peter confirmed. "He's... odd. Best to roll with whatever he says. We'll get back to the discussion about the loft, I promise."
"We'd better," Joe said. "This house has spectacular architecture, and it would be ruined if they go through with this plan." They took seats beside each other at the table.
"Just wait," Peter warned, and then paused as the chef placed a plate of shrimp scampi in front of him. He closed his eyes to appreciate the aroma for a moment and then continued in a low voice, "Things are going to get weirder before we sort this out."
Sure enough, Mozzie rambled on about ghosts and poltergeists and other phenomena, this time leaving Joe as the one with his mouth open in shock and amazement.
Both Henry and Neal looked uncomfortable, and finally Henry broke in to ask if the contractor had found the issue with the furnace.
"It's a cold spot, I'm telling you," Mozzie insisted.
"Horatio made an adjustment to the vents, but he admitted that furnaces aren't his specialty," June answered. "He said he'll send one of his nephews over on Monday if we're still having problems."
"I'll have it resolved before then," Mozzie said. "I haven't found the source of the haunting yet, but I'll stay all night if I need to."
"There's no such thing as ghosts," Peter noted. "My money's on the HVAC expert to clear things up. If the furnace is malfunctioning, it's no wonder you're hearing strange noises. The vents are probably echoing and distorting the sounds from the furnace."
"I have to side with Peter on this," agreed Joe. "Leaks in the ductwork could be causing your cold spots. And getting back to the upstairs apartment, I applaud your intentions, June. Truly I do. I'd want my daughters to support each other the same way you want Neal and Henry to, but I'm begging you to let me sketch out some other options. Instead of building on the balcony, you could expand the other direction. For instance, we could reconfigure the kitchen and add a doorway into the next room. You'd sacrifice a guest room, but that's a better solution than destroying the balcony. I'd also like to look at what's beneath Neal's loft. A two-story apartment might be another option."
"Is that all right with you, Henry?" June asked. "I know you had your heart set on living on the balcony."
He swallowed a bite of garlic bread and nodded. "Sure. Whatever you think is best. I'm just starting to realize what a stroke of luck it was that you agreed to this."
"I thought you would," June said. "Goodness, look at the time. Your real estate agent will be here any moment to talk about office location, and Neal and Peter probably need to get back to work."
"Yes, we do," Peter acknowledged. "Neal, I think you left your suit jacket upstairs."
Neal stood up. "I'll be right back."
"Joe, once Henry and his real estate agent are situated, I'll take you upstairs and we'll talk about options." June stood up. "Follow me, Henry. I have the perfect place for you to work this afternoon. And Mozzie, let me know if you need anything in the study. I'll stop by to check on you."
Soon the dining room was cleared of everyone but Peter and Joe.
"What the hell is going on?" Joe asked. "I dropped by to review final plans for adding a bedroom suite on the ground floor. No one said anything about Neal's apartment until I showed up this morning." He shook his head. "Before today, I thought these were all reasonable people."
"Yeah, but today is April Fool's Day."
"Oh." Joe's frown started to melt away.
"I think the best way to cope is to play along. I'm still unraveling the web of cons, but my advice is to consider that the biggest fools in this house today are the ones who think they're in control." Peter glanced around to make sure no one was listening. "It's like that Bigfoot prank you pulled on me. It worked too well. I was so convinced that I'd found his lair that I called the authorities and you got in trouble. Now imagine if we had been closer to the same age and I'd pulled an equally devious stunt on you at the same time. Who do you think would have won?"
Joe nodded. "Mom, of course. I think I'm going to call her this afternoon and apologize for the whole Bigfoot thing. Suddenly I have a lot more empathy for her."
"Too bad Noelle couldn't join you on this trip," Peter said, referring to his brother's new wife. "A psychology professor might be able to tell you what everyone's up to."
Joe grinned. "As a matter of fact, there's still a chance of that. She came up with me, and I'm looking forward to filling her in on today's events."
"Henry doesn't know she's here?" Noelle was Henry's mother.
"She said she wanted to surprise him."
"Do you know what she has in mind?"
"No, but she promised I could tag along and watch." Joe grinned. "Now that you pointed out it's April Fool's Day, I have high expectations. She's sneaky."
"I hope she won't mind if El and I tag along, too. I have a feeling this is gonna be good."
###
Angela joined Neal and Henry for dinner. She'd brought a variety of selections from Flying Saucer Pizza, giving June's chef a break, and after the meal they gathered in the basement where there was a projection TV and an extensive collection of DVDs.
"No ghost stories," Henry had insisted.
"Here's what I had in mind," Neal said, pointing to a shelf of classic thrillers. "How about Wait Until Dark?"
Angela hesitated. She's watched it once before, and it was deliciously scary. She could understand why Neal picked it. The goal was to scare Henry after all, but June had caught Angela in the hallway as she arrived and warned about being too obvious about it. "I've seen that one, but not Deathtrap. Let's try that, instead."
Neal picked it up and read the back cover. "It says it's a comedy."
"Sounds perfect." Henry snatched the DVD from Neal. "Grab your popcorn and settle in."
Soon Angela realized why June had recommended this movie. The characters were attempting to outsmart each other. You laughed, but it turned darker as their schemes became apparent.
When the movie ended, Angela again followed June's advice, suggesting they go to the kitchen for ice cream. On their way they ran into June, who was holding her new puppy. "Do you want to join us for dessert?" Angela asked.
"That sounds delightful. Would you boys mind taking Bugsy for his walk? I'll help Angela set out the ice cream and toppings. We can make sundaes when you're back."
Neal and Henry were amenable to the suggestion, and Angela followed June into the kitchen.
"You're looking blue," June said.
"I thought we had the perfect plan. This morning Neal said everything was on track, but when I got here..." Angela took the containers of ice cream June handed her and carried them to a buffet table in the dining room. "Well, it doesn't feel like Neal's heart is in our prank anymore, and I guess I can understand why. Henry looks so disheartened. What went wrong?"
"I'm sure you knew Henry would have an April Fool's scheme, too."
Angela followed June back into the kitchen, where they found toppings and sundae dishes and spoons. "We knew he'd try something. When I first heard about his plan to become Neal's roommate I assumed that was it, but he doesn't seem smug enough about it, and Neal doesn't seem annoyed enough."
June sat down and gestured for Angela to do the same. "You two needed my help to convince Henry the mansion is haunted. Henry's prank involved me, too. Then they each started talking to me about future jokes, and I realized what my life and home might be like when Henry moves to New York and they're constantly trying to outdo each other. The cycle of practical jokes could be endless."
"Oh, my," said Angela. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize."
"Of course not. However, I sought out advice from an expert about how to nip an endless spiral of jokes in the bud."
Angela nodded and finally noticed the bowls. She'd carried in four bowls, enough for June and the three cousins. Why had June also brought four bowls?
###
The walk with Bugsy started in silence. It wasn't until they turned around to return to the mansion that Neal sighed and said, "I have a confession to make."
"Yeah, me too, kiddo." Henry picked up Bugsy and held him against his chest, as if he were seeking comfort. "I had an epic April Fool's Day joke lined up, and it fell to pieces. I can't remember the last time I crashed and burned like that."
"Me, too," said Neal. "I was sure that Angela and I would get the best of you. I even had Mozzie on my crew, and pulled in Peter at the last minute."
"I had Joe, although he didn't realize his part. Just his being here added legitimacy to what I had in mind. And of course June was on my crew."
"And mine," Neal said. He paused. "You don't suppose she purposely tanked both schemes?"
"She certainly had a hand in it. But the way she got into my head like that, and exposed my fears about this move, I gotta think she had an accomplice." He nuzzled the puppy, then chuckled and pulled away when it started licking his face.
"You know I'm here for you, whenever you want company. We'll go out for meals and drinks and concerts and stuff. But I don't think you really want a roommate any more than I do. We both like to stake out our own space, not to mention having privacy for overnight dates."
"You got that right," said Henry. "Besides that, I know you hog all the hot water."
Neal rolled his eyes. "No more than you hog the bathroom in the morning doing your hair. How many products do you use? I've never seen anyone else with short hair take so long to style it."
###
Peter, El, and their guests slipped in through the bac, and were eating sundaes with June and Angela when Neal and Henry returned. Peter smiled in relief to hear Neal and Henry sounding like their cheerful selves again. They were laughing and bickering as they entered the mansion and removed the dog's leash.
Bugsy scampered over to June, but the young men grew silent and stared when they saw the newcomers.
Henry crossed his arms and looked stern. "The gang's all here, then. I see each of the April Fool's Day culprits except for Mozzie. Is he still hiding upstairs?"
"No," June replied. "When I told him the haunting was over, he sulked and went home."
Neal matched Henry's stance. "Once the two of us finally had a moment alone to confer, we figured out we were both the victims of the same prank. We have a good idea what happened, but as long as you're all here, why don't you fill in the blanks?"
"When you asked for my help in your schemes, I realized what I was in for when you both live in the same city," June said. "I needed to get the upper hand, or I'd be living in chaos."
Joe Burke spoke up. "June asked for my architectural services, and she asked the Vasquez brothers to give her a bid for the updates."
"When Joe arrived, Henry was on hand, so I didn't have time to fill him in before I led everyone upstairs, but your honest reactions were best, anyway," June added.
"Meanwhile I'm immensely relieved that the balcony is not a real project," Joe said.
"June also lent a hand with the haunting," Angela added. "Mozzie arranged the cold spots and used the CD of advice Byron made for Neal to supply the voice."
Neal nodded. "Mozzie set up the cold spots yesterday, and I was dashing down to the study every couple of hours to play Mozzie's recording. As a result, this morning I was too tired to catch on to the fact that June was complicit in Henry's prank."
"I was more awake than Neal," Peter said. "When I came here for lunch I realized that June had her own con going, and I advised Joe to follow her lead until we could figure out her goal."
"It didn't take me long to realize that June had an accomplice," Joe explained. "Someone who knew Neal and Henry well enough to get into their heads and stop them in their tracks."
Henry turned his scowl toward Joe's new wife. "Mom."
Noelle smiled. "It's amazing how often the younger generation forgets they weren't the first to think of things. My siblings and I played pranks on each other that would make your hair stand on end. Fortunately my mother usually caught on before we did anything dangerous. Now it's my turn to bring a little rationality to the situation. You both needed to come to grips with what Henry's move to New York means to your friendship. It's more than just a chance to play tricks and inconvenience June. I simply gave her advice to help defuse the situation, so you'd both step back and think."
"I never really intended to move in," Henry objected. "The real estate agent I saw today specializes in commercial properties, but tomorrow another agent from her firm is showing me apartments. I'm —" He stopped when Neal put a hand on his shoulder.
"Say Thanks, Mom," advised Neal. "If she thinks we haven't learned our lesson, we could be in for a second round."
Henry took a deep breath. "Thanks, Mom." He looked around the room. "Is there any chocolate left?"
###
As they ate their ice cream, Henry leaned over toward Neal and said, "You explained the cold spots and the voice, but what about the suit?"
"What suit?" Neal sounded like he had no idea what Henry was talking about.
"You know those shelves in the closet, the ones Byron built? Well when I first pulled in my suitcase and started hanging up my clothes last night, there was one of his vintage suits folded on that top shelf, with a fedora on top. In the morning when I went in there to grab something to wear, the suit and fedora were gone. That freaked me out more than anything else."
"That wasn't anything I did. You want me to check with Mozzie? It could be an addition that Angela or June suggested."
"Nah, it doesn't matter," Henry said. But that night when he returned to the guest room, he stepped into the closet and looked around. No more cold spot, he was glad to note, but he didn't see how Mozzie could have removed the suit. He didn't discover any hidden wires or secret doors. He wanted to keep looking, but he couldn't stay up all night. He had commitments on Saturday. He was looking at apartments in the morning, and in the afternoon Neal and Angela planned to teach him some French phrases before his business trip to Paris.
Humming the Ghostbusters theme song he muttered, "I ain't 'fraid of no ghost," and closed the closet door.
He absolutely, positively did not hear Byron chuckle.
A/N: Thanks for reading! The next story in the series is Raphael's Dragon by Silbrith. See the Caffrey Conversation chapter in my Table of Contents document for the full list of the stories in the series in order.
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