I watched my daughter closely, not only because she'd had a couple health scares last weekend but because she was an emotional wreck today.  She and Elliott had broken up the night before and I sensed that it was Elliott who had initiated it.  I'm sure it was hard to date someone in high school once you were away at college.  I understood his need for freedom, but I wish it wasn't at my own daughter's expense.  Our family had very unique dynamics since Pip and I were engaged and our kids had been dating.  I had to be careful about what I said.

Joey had been lethargic on the way to the game, zoning out on her phone.  I thought she was probably going to have a crappy game, but it happened to everybody.  I figured she'd be dragging and not hustling at all, but to my surprise she seemed to channel her frustration into her game.  She was really going after the ball and being aggressive.

A little too aggressive.

I watched as Joey deliberately tripped a member of the other team and she went tumbling.  Joey turned her back, walking away as the whistle was blown and the ref held up a yellow card.  She'd only ever gotten a yellow card two other times during her high school career.  She wasn't an unfair player.  I yelled at her to keep her head in the game but she didn't hear me or ignored me.  The play continued and I could sense from her movements that she was still volatile.  Another player elbowed her but the ref didn't see it.  That pissed Joey off so she shoved the player hard, off the field.  The ref saw that and blew the whistle again.  This time it was a red card.

Joey rushed up to the ref and began arguing, which was a big no-no from her coach and from me as well.  There was a time and place to argue your point, and to do it in a respectful way.  Her body language was disrespectful but the ref kept his cool.  I asked another parent to watch Alex as I rushed over.

A couple of her teammates were pulling her away, telling her to cool it as I approached.  I heard Joey growl and snatch her arms away from her teammates as she stormed away.  I hustled to catch up to her, calling her name.  She ignored me.

"Josephine!" I called louder, reaching out to grab her arm.  She turned and snatched it away.

"Back off!" she told me.  Joey had a fire in her eyes I'd rarely seen.  She was hurt and it was all compounding into frustration.  I knew she was in no place to talk so I let her walk, following behind her.  She grabbed her duffle bag out of the locker room and I quickly grabbed Alex.  When she came out she glared at me and took a long drink from her bottle.  I followed beside her with Alex in my arms and we just walked.  Fast.

I didn't bother asking what she wanted to do.  She hopped on the A train and I just followed along.  She wanted to go home.  When we arrived she swung the door closed hard before I had even reached the front door.  I sighed and opened it again, walking into a crying Jack.  She'd scared him.  Pippa looked over at me, confused.

"Joey's mad," Alex reported.  "She got ejected from the game."

"Jeeez," Pippa commented as she picked up Jack to soothe him.  I set Alex down and she scurried off to get a snack.

"She needs some space," I told Pippa.  "I've never seen her that upset.  I'm pretty sure it has to do with Elliott."

Pippa nodded as she rocked Jack.  I helped Alex get a drink and set her up at the table with a snack.  I heard Joey get into the shower.  She stayed in for a long time and then holed back up in her bedroom.  Jack had since calmed down and was happy with some Teddy Grahams on the couch with PJ Masks.

After about an hour had passed I decided to brave going to Joey's room.  She was laying on her bed, sketching in a notebook, something I didn't see her do very often.  I pulled out her desk chair and sat in it backwards, resting my arms on the back.

"Tough game," I said simply and she just sighed, continuing to sketch.

"Were you upset about Elliott?" I asked.  "Or just a bad game?"

"I don't want to talk about Elliott," she told me.

"Okay," I said.  "But we do need to talk about keeping your temper in check."

Joey rolled her eyes and plopped her notebook on her bed.  She scrubbed her hands over her face, obviously not wanting to talk about it.  "That ref was a moron."

"You pushed that girl out," I reminded her. 

"She elbowed me!" she pointed out, annoyed.

"The ref doesn't catch everything," I said.  "But he'll certainly catch blatant shoving out of bounds. And I certainly don't wanna see you arguing with the ref."

"I don't need a lecture, Dad," she had a whine to her voice.

"I'll spare you if you promise me this was a one-time thing," I told her.  "I've never seen you like that."

"Sorry," she grumbled.  "I lost it.  It won't happen again."

I nodded.  "I'll take your word for it," I said, standing up and tucking her chair back in. She sighed, looking defeated, so I leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I love you like crazy," I reminded her. "Come hang out when you're ready."

I left my daughter in her room hoping she'd mope for a while then be a bit better. Maybe I could convince her to go out with some friends later to take her mind off Elliott.

"How is she?" Pippa asked, sitting at the table with her laptop, no doubt working on wedding plans.

"Still moody," I reported. "I'm hoping she'll go out with some friends later. She probably needs some girl time."

"You're going to let her go out?" Pippa looked up at me.

"Yeah," I said. "Why not?"

"She got ejected from the game," she reminded me.

"Well I feel like that was her punishment," I explained. "She didn't get to participate."

"But Alex said she was yelling at the ref," Pippa went on. "Do we really want her setting that example for Alex?"

"Well no but I don't think keeping her in for the evening is going to do anything to help," I countered, surprised that Pippa was arguing with me on this. We'd always said the biological parent would mostly handle the discipline with our own kids since they were teenagers, and she'd never really challenged me on any punishment I'd dished out to Joey.

"Fine," she said shortly, turning her attention back to her computer. Every man on Earth knew what that meant. It meant you were still in hot water and you better fix it.

I sighed and walked over, sitting next to her. "Pip," I said gently and she looked at me. "Trust me on this. I've known Joey a little longer than you."

"It's more Alex I'm worried about," she said. "She's been getting violent lately and she sees her big sister pushing and arguing with the ref and nothing happens?"

"She got a red card, Pip," I reminded her.

"And we've always said if they're in trouble at school or activities they're in trouble at home too," she said. "It sends the wrong message."

"Fine," I said, pushing my chair back roughly. "You think she needs to be punished then you go do it. I'm out."

"We're supposed to be a team, Lin," she raised her voice incredulously.

"Then do your part!" I barked, storming off to our room. I closed the door and growled in frustration. I hated when we fought.  I wasn't a parent that made excuses for his kids when they acted up. Joey knew very well if she crossed the line I wouldn't hesitate to hold her accountable. I just truly didn't think she needed to be punished any more for this. She was a heartbroken kid and she'd let her emotions get the best of her in the moment.

Pippa left me be for a while which was probably a good thing. I listened to some music and messed around on my phone for a while. I smelled dinner cooking and then Alex came to tell me it was ready. I picked her up and carried her back to the table, talking to her as we went.

The five of us sat down at the table together and I could feel the tension. Joey's phone was buzzing continuously and she kept pulling it out to text.

"Plans for tonight?" I asked her. She tucked her phone back in her pocket, knowing I didn't like her texting at the table.

"Is that okay?" she asked, looking between me and Pippa. I guess she'd overheard our argument.

"That's fine," Pippa said, taking a sip of her wine. I looked at Pippa then over at my daughter.

"Just to be clear, you know I don't approve of you fighting on the field or anywhere for that matter," I told my daughter. "Or arguing with the ref. Like I said I assume this was a one time thing because you're upset about Elliott. If it happens again we'll have a problem. Clear?"

Joey nodded, mid-chew. Pippa looked down at her food and seemed pacified.

"Alex that goes for you too," I told our five year old. "No fighting and no arguing with adults. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" She saluted me, sitting upright with a serious look on her face. It was the comic relief we all needed. We all chuckled, releasing some of the tension. Alex giggled, proud of her joke.

I felt my shoulders relax and my heart lighten. Sometimes family could drive you crazy but then they were the ones that stuck around for the hard times.