When Bast grabbed Sadie and pulled her to a different room to talk, Sadie genuinely thought she would die. That was it. She lived a decent-ish life. She's dating someone; she had a ride-or-die. The only thing she hadn't done was have a gender crisis.

    "Kitten, me and Amos are leaving for the weekend," Bast said. "And because I refuse to raise a child with no social life, you are required to hold a slumber party. I already know that Carter would only invite Zia, so I am putting you in charge."

    Sadie fucking ascended into the heavens, because this is how you have a cool... mom? Aunt? Person your uncle is in a queerplatonic relationship with? Sadie wasn't sure what Bast was to her, but she was undoubtedly one of the three.

    "Now, don't go fucking crazy," Bast said, picking up Muffin and scratching his head. "Just your small friend group that you told me about. I trust you enough to follow that rule. Oh, and in case Zia and Carter randomly decide to get bold, tell them there are condoms. I put them in his bathroom."

    "Most guardians would try to stop that," Sadie said.

    "Most guardians don't give their kids sex education," Bast countered.

    Given the fact that they were Sadie's only friends, it was a relatively easy rule to follow.

    Jaz and Shel were the first people she told. In fact, she made a group chat just for that occasion.

~gay~: bestie you just throw me in random chats

the best person ever: yes

the best person ever: GUESS WHO HAS THE BEST MOM/AUNT/PERSON MY UNCLE IS IN A QUEERPLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH

~gay~: quite a title

PuLiTzEr AnD hEaRsT: do you have the best mom/aunt/person your uncle is in a queerplatonic relationship with

PuLiTzEr AnD hEaRsT: also, don't make fun of newsies in my contact

PuLiTzEr AnD hEaRsT: make it all caps

the best person ever: of course

PULITZER AND HEARST--: thank you

PULITZER AND HEARST--: PULITZER AND HEARST THEY THINK WE'RE NOTHING

~gay~: ARE WE NOTHING

the best person ever: NO

the best person ever: anyway, we need to stop this now before we sing the whole musical

~gay~: valid

PULITZER AND HEARST--: but the poor little kids vs. rich greedy sour pusses

~gay~: it's a cinch it'll practically write itself

the best person ever: and let's pray it does cause as I may have mentioned

PULITZER AND HEARST--: I have no clue what I'm doing

~gay~: AM I INSANE?? this is what I've been waiting for

~gay~: sades, I see your point; back on topic.

the best person ever: my mom/aunt/person my uncle is in a queerplatonic relationship with said that she refuses to raise a child without a social life...

~gay~: queen shit

PULITZER AND HEARST--: your mom/aunt/person your uncle is in a queerplatonic relationship with is an icon

the best person ever: oh, she says you flatter her, and she loves you two

~gay~: tell her i strive to be as iconic as her

the best person ever: I shall

the best person ever: anyway, she says to have a huge sleepover at my house

~gay~: when

the best person ever: next weekend

~gay~: alrighty pray for me

PULITZER AND HEARST--: *theatre kid sigh* I would, but I am grounded, and even if my father is biologically white, he married a brown girl. Thus, they shall never lift the curse of punishment from my shoulders, wearier than Atlas as he rests his bones from the weight of the world.

~gay~: you being a theatre kid AND a poet really said drama

PULITZER AND HEARST--: ikr it's a gift

~gay~: HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

the best person ever: my mind is clearer now

~gay~: at last, all too well

PULITZER AND HEARST--: I can see where we all

the best person ever: soon will be

~gay~: if you strip away

PULITZER AND HEARST--: the myth

the band person ever: from the man

~gay~: i can see

PULITZER AND HEARST--: where we all

the best person ever: soon will be

~gay~: JESUUUUUUSSSS

~gay~: ok now that we are back to where we were

~gay~: JESUS APPARENTLY FUCKING ROSE BECAUSE MY COLOMBIAN MOTHER SAID YES TO A SLEEPOVER

the best person ever: queen shit

PULITZER AND HEARST--: you guys have fun and send pictures

~gay~: i gotcha

~gay~: also, babe you gotta tell the group

the best person ever: oh yea lemme do that real quick

-

It came as no surprise to anyone that Shel arrived first at Sadie's house. She didn't even knock. At this point, she knew the code to the keypad by heart.

    "Hi. I found a list of things to do at a sleepover on Pinterest," Sadie said as Shel put down her duffel bag.

    "Was it made by a 10 year old?"

    "Of course."

    Shel pulled Sadie off the couch. "Perfect. Let's raid your pantry. I wanna see if you have the stuff to make brownies."

    "Okay, cool, I wanted to ask you about something with Jaz," Sadie said.

    "Okay."

    "So, I want to ask her to homecoming."

    Shel snorted. "No shit. Tell your brother you asked me for help because that's two people asking me for advice."

    Sadie took a deep breath. "CARTEEEER," she yelled.

    Carter came out of the room just down the hall, looking like he was plotting Sadie's murder. "Can you not yell?"

    "No."

    "Sadie was my second homecoming ask," Shel said, looking absolutely giddy.

    Carter turned to Sadie. "Are you serious?"

    "Yeah?" Sadie said.

    "Traitor," he muttered.

    "That's twenty bucks, Mr. Kane," Shel called as Carter made his way to his room.

    Sadie said, "Oh, also Bast says there are condoms--"

    "Nope," Carter said as he began to literally run away.

    Sadie turned to Shel, "Why does he owe you twenty bucks?"

    "We have a bet on who will get the most people to ask for help for homecoming. I'm winning."

    "Okay. Anyway... wait, who asked you first?"

    "Percy Jackson."

    "That one guy who's kind of hot but would also kill me with a look? he's dating Annabeth, right?"

    Shel cringed. "I mean... if you call that hot? I don't know; I think he's average."

    "You also said that about Ben Barnes."

    Shel shrugged. "I have only one standard, and that's that they're a woman or enby. They failed to meet that one standard. Anyway, what do you have in mind." Shel looked through a rack of spices.

    "I kind of want to do something like blackout poetry."

    "Oh my God that would be so--" The doorbell rang.

    "Carter?" Sadie yelled.

    "Sadie, you are literally downstairs already!" Carter screamed.

    Sadie groaned but walked all the way to the foyer from the kitchen to open the door.

    Leo held up a Target bag. "I got face masks."

    "Icon," Sadie said.

    Leo bowed, and Sadie led him to the kitchen, where Shel had found a huge box of goldfish.

    "Where's Felix?" Shel asked. "He hasn't graced me with his presence or various penguin facts."

    "He's at his friend's this weekend."

    Shel poured some goldfish for Leo. "Anyway, I think that blackout poetry would be cute for you and Jaz."

    "Okay, then I'll do that," Sadie said. "Leo do you have anyone your asking for homecoming?"

    "No," Leo said too quickly. "Shel, are you going to ask Piper?"

    Shel smiled. "Maybe."

    "Wait, seriously?" Sadie said, propping herself up on the counters. "And you didn't tell me?"

    "Dude, that's about to be the best homecoming ask in the history of homecoming asks," Leo said.

    "I didn't tell you," Shel said, "because Piper is a more private person. I figured she'd like it more if it were just between us. Besides, I'm 99% sure we would be going with each other either way."

    "Okay, that's adorable and considerate of you," Sadie said. "Leo, you said no very fast. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? According to number six on this list about what to do during sleepovers, you need to talk about crushes heart emoji, kissing emoji, sparkles."

    "Saying what emojis there are really adds something," Shel said.

    "I know, right?"

    Leo stayed silent for a moment before saying, "Okay, fine. There's this one guy who I'm not even sure likes me. But, I ranted to Shel about him, like three days ago. I am down bad. Like worse than teen romcoms."

    Sadie grinned. "Who is he?"

    "No one."

    "Okay, I'm very happy for you and mystery man. We will most likely help you along the way with this," Sadie said, giving Leo a tight hug.

    The doorbell rang.

    Shel elected to get it before Sadie could scream again. Nico, Will, and Reyna stood side by side. Each of them holding something relating to Will's Nintendo switch. Nico had a copy of Hades and Reyna a copy of Layers of Fear. There were two types of people.

    "We also have Undertale, Fall Guys, Jackbox Games, the works," Will said as he made his way to the kitchen.

    "Leo, why is Jason talking about you so much?" Nico asked. "It's getting annoying, dude."

    "Wait, he talks about me?" Leo asked, his normally impish face morphing into that of childlike hope.

    Sadie looked at Shel and said in the silent language of best friends: Leo would thank this man for running him over.

    I know, it's bad, Shel responded in the same language.

    "More importantly," Shel said, "what does he talk about?"

    "Leo," Nico said.

    "In regards to Leo, what does Jason talk about?"

    "I don't know. Like, random stories about you and him. How he noticed some random small thing you do--oh." The last word was drawn out for a moment.

    Reyna pat Nico's back. "Good job, you connected the dots."

    "I hope you die."

    Reyna gave a sarcastic smile.

    "Leo, now you know he likes you," Sadie said. "So ask him out."

    Leo stared at Sadie for a moment and then wheezed. "Are you serious?" he asked through various cackles. "No."

    "Why though?" Nico asked. "Jason would say yes."

    "Because nerves."

    The doorbell rang once more. Shel excitedly ran to the door and returned hand in hand with Piper.

    Nico fake gagged. "Ugh, you two are disgusting," he said as Will hugged him from behind.

    "Totally gross," Piper agreed.

    "Okay, now that we are all here," Sadie said. "I present the Pinterest list of sleepovers." Sadie passed her phone around.

    "What does it mean 'play mafia'?" Reyna asked. "Because that sounds very interesting."

    Will took the liberty of looking that up. "It's a game where there are two teams. The mafia and the townsepeople. The mafia tries to kill the townspeople and the townspeople need to figure who is in the mafia and kill them. It requires tweleve people."

    The group erupted into shouts of shock.

    "I get that not everyone has a friend group filled with raging bitches like us," Piper said, "but how do you have twelve fucking friends?"

    "And in one place too," Reyna said, looking utterly disgusted.

    "Disgraceful," Sadie muttered. "Truly disgraceful. Anyway, let's go to my room upstairs. You can leave your stuff here."

    Shel took out a stick of butter from the fridge and placed it on the counter.

    Sadie stared at it. "Why?"

    "Brownies," Shel answered.

    "Shelby," Will said, "If you ever wonder why we love you, just remember that you know a brownie recipe by heart."

    "You only love me for the food?"

    Leo scoffed. "They aren't worthy of us, Shel."

    "They were using me all along!" Shel cried as she almost fell on the stairs.

    "Don't die," Nico said.

    Sadie's room was the first door you saw after going upstairs. Her bed was hidden behind curtains, and beneath it was a mattress attached to some wheels. In the far right corner was a futon which converted into a bed.

    Shel sat on Sadie's bed and got a notification. She snorted. "The Johnny Depp and Amber Heard defamation trial reveals new controversy," she announced.

    "That trial is a fucking joke," Reyna said. "There's no way she isn't the abuser."

    "She shit on his bed," Piper said. "I don't think enough people are talking about that. She got on the bed, squatted, and actually shat on the bed."

    "Guys, I don't know what you're talking about," Nico said. "Obviously, Amber is innocent. She was sitting on the couch, on the carpet, touching the carpet, wondering why it was so dirty."

    "Can we have a memorial for the bee that dog stepped on?" Leo asked. "It didn't deserve that."

    "You are absolutely right," Will agreed.

    "What's the controversy this time?" Sadie asked.

    "Is pledged and donated meant to be used interchangeably?" Shel slowly blinked but read on. "Okay, basically, Camille Vasquez girlbossed her way to calling Amber Heard out in the trial. She was supposed to donate a fuck ton of money to charity and then didn't. Amber said she uses pledged and donated interchangeably; Vasquez does not. Is that truly a good argument?" Shel sighed. "What the fuck is going on with this trial?"

    "It's reality T.V. at this point," Piper said. "Look, she even posed for the camera."

    "Wasn't it a meme that she was snorted something?" Sadie asked.

    Will laughed. "Oh my God. There are whole ass debates about what she could be snorting."

    "Wait, really?" Nico asked while silently laughing.

    Sadie cleared her throat. "According to this random news site, it is not likely for Amber Turd to be snorting coke. However, multiple actors will sniff menthol while on set to make them cry. It's similar to Vicks. Sources say she was sniffing menthol to make her seem emotional about the case. This would be used to try to win the jury to her favor," Sadie said in hysterics.

    "Holy shit, she was snorting my Mom's cure for every illness?" Shel asked.

    Reyna shook her head. "Shameful. The Spanish people need Vicks to cure cancer, and she's snorting it? I can't believe it."

    The room fell into a silence that was, in fact, awkward (wow, you can certainly tell I wrote this at 3 am last night). Sadie cleared her throat. "What do you guys want to do?"

    Various indecisive noises came from the group.

    "Um, I have a nail art kit," Piper said. "I can paint your nails?"

    "Can we watch a movie while doing that? My ADHD will not allow me to stay still without something going on in front of me," Leo said.

    "I've never watched Pirates of the Carribean," Sadie suggested.

    Leo's mouth went agape. "That's a core memory in the bi experience. Everyone is hot."

    "That's true," Piper said.

    "Orlando Bloom could run me over with a ship, and I'd apologize for being in his way," Will added.

    "That, but with Keira Knightley," Shel said.

    "My aesthetic attraction loves the part where everyone stops wearing the big dresses and starts wearing pirate clothes," Reyna added. "It's a great time."

    "Okay," Sadie said. "Then we'll do that."

    Piper returned upstairs with a collection of nail polish, brushes, and UV light as Sadie moved everyone to the movie room.

    The movie room was painted a dark grey with blue LED lights along the rims where crown molding used to sit. The ceiling was black with a random assortment of lights--similar to those used on a Christmas tree--lit up like constellations in the sky. Under the large TV, there was an array of drawers that hid popcorns and various candies. In the corner was a freezer and microwave. In the freezer were pints of ice cream. The wall across the TV had a large, black leather sofa. The dark aesthetic of the room contrasted nicely with the house's hardwood floors.

    Sadie searched the room for the remote. It was a long and laborious battle with her trust and sanity. Who had used the remote last? It must have been Carter. No, because she had watched The Owl House. Wait, did that mean she was her own enemy. No, no, that simply couldn't be. Sadie continued searching, nearly falling into a panic just thinking the remote could be lost.

    Sadie found it in the drawer that it was supposed to be in.

    Piper plugged in her UV light and handed Shel a few nail colors. "You and I can start doing the base coats. After that, I'll do the art."

    Shel nodded and beckoned Sadie over. Piper let Sadie flip through pictures of nails she'd done before.

    "These are all amazing," Sadie said. "But, can I paint my nails white and then have a black smiley face on each middle finger?"

    Shel snorted as Piper said, "Brilliant. Can I take a picture afterward?"

    "Of course," Sadie said as Shel got a nail file. The two sat on the floor as the first scene in Black Pearl came on.

    "What did you have in mind for the blackout poetry?" Shel asked, filing down Sadie's pinkie.

    "I don't know yet," Sadie admitted. "I know I want to do something kind of romantic. Like, I want to give her flowers, and I want the poetry itself to be about romance. But I also want it to be private, you know? It'll make it more intimate and... I don't know."

    "Aw, you two are adorable together," Shel said. "That's a good idea. Maybe you could go to the subway vents."

    "I--what? Why would I go to the subway vents?"

    "It's fall, so all the leaves are starting to... fall. They fall on the vents, so you wait for the subway to come, and it blows the leaves everywhere. It's cool and really pretty. You just need to make sure your vent doesn't have raccoon shit in it."

    "I don't know. Part of me wants to do something really extravagant," Sadie explained as Shel moved on from her ring to her middle finger. "She deserves something big, but I also know that she doesn't like the attention. She also doesn't want her parents to know she's gay. Which is an understandable concern--I mean, look at what they did because she wrote some fucking poetry! God knows they would kick her out. I would fucking hate for me to be the cause of more suffering. Jaz has been through enough.

    "She's actually starting to look for jobs now, not because she wants some money to buy things for herself. No, it's so that if she gets kicked out, she can afford shit like food and stay at a motel for a few days. It is fucking insane that she even has to think about those things." Sadie sighed. "I'm trying to help her, but I can't really find any jobs here other than Taco Bell. She already applied there and was denied."

    Shel thought for a moment. "I know that the Barnes and Noble by my apartment are open to some part-time positions, but I don't know the requirements for that. Um... Oh, Jaz is good at English, right? That tutor thing that works with the elementary school across the street--whar's it called?"

    "Athena's Wisdom?"

    "Yes! That! They're hiring people from our school to go to the elementary school. Maybe Jaz can apply to be an English tutor?"

    "Oh my God, Shelby!" Sadie disregarded the fact that Shel was in the middle of filing down her thumb and engulfed her in a hug. "You are so smart. I'm going to text Jaz about it right now." She gave another quick squeeze before texting Jaz.

-

Reyna leaned her head on Nico's shoulder. "I talked to Thalia."

    "Really? How did that go?" Nico asked.

    "It went well, actually." Reyna paused. "Yeah, it went well. We're going to try and hang out soon."

    "Okay," Nico said with a smile. "Remember when I told you that you had nothing to worry--" Reyna aggressively shushed him.

    "Listen, asshat--"

    "Wow, you talk to your best friend that way? What a bitch."

    Reyna slowly blinked. "You're a piece of shit."

    "Fuck you too!" Nico said with a smile.

    Reyna rolled her eyes. "As I was saying--before you rudely interrupted me--I do not want to hear your 'I told you so' bullshit right now."

    Nico shook his head. "A true best friend would encourage my opinions and facts. Because I very clearly told you so."

    Reyna groaned. "I fucking hate you."

    "It's alright to be offended by my insane ability to predict the future and tell you about it," Nico said. "But to attack me is just wrong."

    "I hope you die."

    "But then who will annoy you enough to make you win over the Supreme Court of Clowns out of spite?"

    "They overturned Roe v. Wade," Reyna said. "That's motivation enough."

    "Fine, who will motivate you to turn in your schoolwork on time?"

    Reyna had to admit, Nico did have a point there. "Shut up."

    "Victory--Holy shit, Orlando Bloom does, in fact, exist."

hi my violation beans

welcome to tangents with gabby

HOLY SHIT 3 AM ME POPPED OFF LAST NIGHT

3,500 WORDS

was it readable? no. but i have been working all day to edit the nonsense i spewed.

fun fact: this chapter was originally going to be MUCH longer, but i do not have the capacity to write anymore, and you guys can deal with it

anyway, i would like to formally apologize for the distinct lack of content

a lot of shit was going on with both America and with my life.

and then i started getting my mental health back

then COVID decided to drop kick its way back into my body and leave me dying

i don't even eat most of the time anymore. i just drink fucking chunky bone broth that tastes like shit. but if i actually eat, i vomit.

so yeah

ANYWAY

let's talk about everything that doesn't relate to this chapter before actually getting to the chapter

stranger things

what the f u c k

like

why

was it amusing for you to see me in pain like that?

like

ugh

also umbrella academy came out, but i do not remember any of the second season (i don't even know if i watched it or not) so i'm watching that instead of season 3

i also watched a cute and cliche romcom, but gay. it's called Crush. and it's super cute

also happy disability pride month to my disabled LGBT folks!

now to things about the actual chapter

it was a fever dream! yep! i do NOT remember writing the vast majority of it. I especially loved rereading about the outdated Amber Heard memes tho

Allow me to show you some quotes from before i edited this chapter

"Shel went to the steps that take you to the upstairs and almost fell on the steps that take you to the upstairs"

"Sadie hummed in agreement. 'Yeah parents hate sex'"

"'It's like,' Leo said, 'why exist when peak humanity is right there. In that weirdly attractive basic white man with no canonical personality. It's so cute. I want it' Leo said the last part with a faux sob."

it's a trip

i found a fanfiction that was an arranged marriage A/U and the author pulled a something i would do

they linked the worldbuilding sheet because it got "too in depth" (as if there is such a thing) and i was like

omg i am going to love this.

and i am so far

it's a collection of multichapter fics and one shots, so it does take a bit to get through, but it's great!

i'm even finding myself shipping jasper in this one very niche (apparently it's niche?) fic.

so yeah

also, RIP to technoblade. he was a great creator.

other than that, i think i am done!

love y'all!