Ever since that night, Lapis has been gone a lot more often. Not to mention distant and indifferent to my existence - which stings even more. It confuses me how Lapis can go from 0 to 100 real quick when it comes to being a complete narcissist. Hhhhh okay I'm over exaggerating a little bit but this honestly hurts way more than it should. 

I assume that she just goes off to her shack area, but then again who knows how many of those things she has. She may be hanging around one that she's hidden from me because she doesn't want me to find her...o-or who knows what!! The thought that my roommate hates me because I admitted to having feelings for her makes me cringe so horribly on the inside, so I decided to talk to my friends about it.

I sat at my friends' normal lunch table and listened to their weird-ass conversations before asking them for help. "Peridot...you look a little depressed. Are you alright?" Pearl finally asked, looking concerned. Garnet and Amethyst then look over at me, and I suddenly choke on my words. "I-uh...w-well ya see um..." I stuttered, feeling my hands tremble. "C'mon, spit it out P-dot!" Amethyst said impatiently, bouncing up and down.

"Actually...n-no. I'm not really alright. You see...about three weeks ago I finally decided to come clean and admit my feelings for Lapis to her...a-and it didn't end very well..." I explained, looking down in embarrassment. "What happened?" Pearl asked. "We were sitting on the roof together, and when I told her, she ran off...and I had to chase her. When I finally caught up to her, I apologized for it, and she started talking about her problems...it was nice to hear her vent to me and all but...after that night, she hasn't really talked to me or acknowledged my existence in general..." I said.

"Ouch..." Garnet muttered, and Amethyst and Pearl gave me looks of sympathy. "Welp. Looks like Lapis hates ya now. But it's okay, there are plenty of fish in the sea, Peri." Amethyst said bluntly, and Pearl elbowed her in the arm. Amethyst yelped in pain and scowled back at Pearl. "But I don't want any other fish in the sea! Lapis is one of those fancy fish you can't get anywhere else! I want that fish!" I blubbered, throwing my arms up. 

"The only way to sort this out is to start the conversation yourself. You can't wait for the other one to start it if there's a slim chance they ever will." Garnet explained, crossing her arms. "Yeah...you're right. But how am I supposed to start it? Lapis avoids me all the time." I whined. "You should plan a meet-up with her." Amethyst chimed in. "Or you could you know...just talk to her the next time you see her." Pearl suggested sarcastically. "B-but what if she ignores me? She hasn't looked at me in over 20 days, so how am I supposed to get her to actually reply to me verbally?" I asked.

"Say something that will get her attention. Like something that's super deep that has to do with her." Amethyst suggested. "Amethyst that's du--wait...that's actually a good idea. I could maybe bring something up about her issues or our relationship or something!" I replied. "I'll do it when our classes end and it's just her and I at the dorm." I exclaimed. My phone then vibrated and I turned it on to see what I got. It was a message from an unknown number. 

Unknown: Be ready nerd! I'm comin for ya >:3

What the fuck? I stared at the message for a long time, but just decided to deal with it later. I shrugged it off and headed to class.

. . . .

4:15 PM

5 minutes until she gets back from her classes...just 5 minutes, I kept repeating in my mind as I sat on my bed. It was pretty dark in the dorm room, the blinds being closed and no light coming in - but I liked it that way. The room was normally like this, and Lapis never complained about it, so I assumed she liked it too. Before I knew it, the door knob jiggled abruptly, startling me. I picked up my phone and pretended to be scrolling though it nonchalantly, trying to act indifferent.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lapis walk in and drop her backpack on the floor. She dug her phone and earbuds out of her backpack, and it looked like she was about to leave again. SHIT. "L-Lapis wait!" I said a little too loudly, and her walking came to a halt for merely a second, then she continued walking again, ignoring me. Ouch. I got up off of my bed and came after her quickly.

I spotted her body slightly flinch as I grabbed her wrist. I immediately pulled back, remembering how she felt about rough contact. "S-sorry! Just please don't go! I-I need to talk to you!" I explained anxiously. Lapis stared at me for what felt like forever, until she quickly turned around and ran for the door. "LAPIS!!" I shouted, running toward her. Without a second thought, I jumped toward her and wrapped both my arms around her whole waist, taking her down. Lapis yelped as we both hit the floor with a thump. Oh my god Peridot so much for rough contact. 

"PERIDOT!!!" Lapis screeched, and I immediately let go of her and jumped off of her. Lapis sat up and backed away from me as fast as humanly possible. My face heated up as we both sat there staring at each other in shock. "I'M SO SO SORRY!! I just really need to talk to you!" I shouted, sweating bullets. Lapis scowled at me, stood up, and dusted herself off. She headed for the door again without another word. I look down in failure, and I sighed in distress.

Lapis reached to open the door, but stopped - and looked down. Her back was still facing me, but I heard her sigh. "What is it?" she harshly asked, not turning around. "I wanna know why you're avoiding me, Lapis. I thought we were getting close...a-and I know that what I said a couple weeks back might've made you uncomfortable...b-but I didn't think you'd cut me off like this." I explained sadly.

After a long pause, Lapis's tense shoulders relaxed, but she still didn't turn around. "I-I don't know what you're talking about." Lapis muttered coldly. "See?! You're doing it again! Just talk to me, Lapis!" I cried, balling my fists. "Peridot I-I said I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't avoided you. Y-you're delusional." Lapis protested. Where is this coming from?! "Sigh...We both have issues. Doesn't it feel horrible just to keep all of those issues and feelings bottled up? Isn't it painful?" I asked, looking up at her.

Lapis was still silent, and didn't say a word. "Lapis...tell me--" "I'M AFRAID I'LL HURT YOU OKAY?!" Lapis cried, and her sudden outburst startled the shit out of me. "I hate the way I cope with things, a-and I really don't wanna hurt you. If I return the feelings for you I might get attached, and then what? We break up and I'm hurt again...or what if it's the other way around? What if you get attached then I just cut you off?! Then you're hurt, and I really really really...really don't want to hurt you. I just...whatever..." Lapis explained, looking over at me.

"Lapis...I promise I won't hurt you. And I'm almost positive you won't hurt me either. Can you please just answer me this...do you have feelings for me too?" I hesitantly asked. Lapis stared into my eyes for a long while, then she ripped away from it and turned around again. "I have to go..." Lapis suddenly muttered. "No you don't!" I protested, running up to her. "Don't touch me!" Lapis growled, but I slam my hand on the door in front of her anyway, blocking her. "Lapis please stay?" I begged, now blocking the door with my whole body.

Lapis looked me up and down, and huffed in frustration. The bluenette turns and sits down on her bed, running her fingers through her blue hair. "Lapis...please don't be stressed...you know I'm here for you right?" I tried to reassure her, and she looked down. She didn't reply, and she looked extremely distressed. Hmmmm. "Hey...ya know what'll make you feel better?" I asked after thinking for a moment. Lapis looked at me with a look of indifference. She hummed in response and raised an eyebrow.

I climbed onto the bed and knelt behind her, and Lapis looked confused. "Don't be stressed okay?" I told her, and I examined her back for a moment. She had a dark blue crop top on with the shoulders cut off. I placed my hands on her shoulders and started massaging them, making sure to remember what I learned from that one class I took in 12th grade about neuromuscular therapy.

"Peridot what're you doing?" Lapis asked in an unsure tone of voice. I shushed her, and started rubbing deeper. Lapis giggled, then groaned, trying to stay mad at me."Peri stop, I don't nee--w-whoa." Lapis was interrupted as I dug my thumbs into near the middle of her upper back. She then let out a relaxed sigh, and I smirked at my success. Lapis's head then fell forward a little bit, and I continued massaging her shoulders. 

She made little noises of relaxation and I couldn't help but blush at how cute they sounded. I decided to go deeper, and hit a point between her shoulder blades - which caused her to let out a tiny moan. Lapis then clamped her hand over her mouth and I blushed, feeling the area between my legs heat up. "I-it's okay..." I muttered, continuing. "Sorry that--ah~" Lapis let out a sigh that was close to another moan, and I realized that this was an advantage. "P-Peridot~th-that's sensitive..." Lapis breathed, and I massaged deeper on that one point, and I could see a blush spreading from her cheeks down to her shoulders.

I tried ignoring the sounds so I wouldn't get so aroused, but I couldn't help it. I noticed that I was breathing down her shoulder, and she shuddered, slowly turning her head slightly. I continued rubbing, and leaned my head closer to her shoulder. I examined her neck, and how perfect it looked. It was about the length at where her short hair stopped, and I continued breathing down her neck and shoulder, just to tease her. Lapis seemed to get more and more flustered as the heated seconds went by.

"Just relax~" I whispered in her ear, and she shuddered again. She turned her head more toward me, and I also leaned further into her shoulder, now resting my chin on it. Her face was now inches away from mine, and she looked into my eyes with half-lidded ones. A blush crept up from my shoulders to my cheeks. I noticed how Lapis looked at my lips, and I looked back with lust. My legs began to tremble more and more, and my womanhood heated up. 

I then decided to lean in closer to Lapis's lips, and she did the same. Our lips were suddenly centimeters apart, and I tilted my head slightly to the right, ready to close in the space--KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! 

Lapis and I both jumped as the sound of a knock at the door echoed the dorm room. Lapis looked away and I groaned, rolling my eyes and slowly climbing off of the bed.