I wake to the world on a sidewalk in front of a burnt down orphanage, getting drenched as rain pours down buckets at a time.

A teddy bear lies next to me, missing an arm and a thin shawl full of holes is draped over me.

My name is Charlotte. And that's all I know.

I don't know why I'm here. I don't remember owning a one-armed teddy bear. I don't remember anything before waking up just now.

It isn't possible God just dropped me from the sky, is it?

Wait, how do I know about God if I just arrived on earth?

Or why can't I remember the past?

Or maybe I'm in Heaven? No, that can't be it. I'm cold and scared and the sounds of sirens and crying are all around me.

Well, I can't be a newborn. I have the body of somehow around twelve years old and knowledge about the world of someone much older. I'm not just talking about math either. 'Cause who needs math anyway? No, I mean I have the knowledge of someone who's been lost; looking for herself for years. Knowledge of someone who truly knows what it's like to hurt. Knowledge of someone who's been on cloud 9, only to hit rock bottom.

I can remember emotions...

So then, why don't I know anything about my own past life?

Too confused to think, I simply stare at the one-armed teddy bear and daydream. I dream up impossible adventures with fairies and dragons--the kind of stories that leave you quite literally on the edge of your seat, waiting for what's going to happen.

I don't know how long I lie on that sidewalk.

The rain stops although the clouds are having trouble moving on from this spot.

I'm just a girl with a teddy bear and no past.

This is probably a dream. I'll probably wake up and the world will make sense again.

That's what I thought, anyway. Until a tiny voice pierces the silent air and I hear the slosh slosh sound of boots colliding with puddles.

A deeper voice resounds from afar, yelling, "TRACY!!!" over and over just as two tiny, pink rain boots land right in front of my face.

I bring my gaze up and am immediately met with a set of big green eyes staring into mine. Her eyes are brilliant and a stark contrast to her dark brown, nearly black hair that flows down her back in waves.

"Tracy, I told you to- Oh my word..."

The source of the deep scolding voice reveals himself. His hair color and round face are identical to the little girl's.

"Matt, Matthew, do you see? Do you see? I told you I saw a patient for for Dr. Mcfluggintin!" the girl--Tracy--cries.

"For the love of all that is good and holy in this world, she's not going to play doctor with you and your stuffed lion," Matthew grumbles as he gets on his knees next to me.

"Yes she will! When she's all better in real life, she can pretend to get sick again and then get healed again!" Tracy announces in a way that makes a smile play on my lips.

"Tracy, I swear, get back in the car."

She firmly crosses her arms over her pink and green rain coat. "No!"

"Forget it," Mathew mutters before turning his attention back to me.

"Hey," he whispers, as if speaking too loudly might injure me. "Are you ok?"

I don't know how to answer that. My eyes flick up to make contact with his but that's the only way I answer.

He licks his lips awkwardly and says, "Ummm, honey, were you one of the girls living in the home that burned down?"

My eyes dart to the burnt down building behind him.

"I don't know..." I squeak. The feeling of words rolling off my tongue is so foreign and yet so familiar that I'm again stuck just having to accept that I don't know what's going on.

Matthew's eyes narrow in concern. "What do you... mean you don't... know?"

"She means-"

"Tracy, quiet," Matthew hisses.

"I... I don't know...." I choke out.

"Well... Can we call someone for you?"

He flips out his phone and his hands hover over the numbers, waiting.

"I don't... Know..."

He glances at me and firmly shoves his phone back in the pocket of his thin grey sweatshirt.

"Look, I promise I'm not gonna hurt you... I'm trying to help..." he assures me.

"I trust you," I say truthfully. "But I... I don't... I don't think... You'd understand..."

My words trail off.

"Tell him!" Tracy pushes. "Matthew will understand. He understands a lot of crazy stuff. He just got into high school and he's already doing cal-qu-us. That's really hard math. I'm sure whatever you need to say isn't as hard to understand as cal-qu-us."

Matthew glares at her and I laugh.

I laughed? Ha! What a strangely beautiful feeling.

I sit up from the wet cement slowly.

"Look," I start carefully. "I don't.... remember anything... before waking up this morning."

"Oh... I... Oh..." Matthew says, struggling to find words. He finally gives up and Tracy doesn't even know what to say.

"Well anything other than... The English language and... Emotions and... Ya know things like, you're a human and... For some reason I knew that was an orphanage..." I continue in a desperate rush to fill the silence.

Matthew buzzes air through his lips. "So that's all we got to go on to get you wherever home is?"

My eyes fly to the ground.

"That's ok," Tracy says her voice as chirpy as if we were merely discussing spilled milk. "Detective Squeakers can help."

She pulls out a tiny pink, plush mouse from her pocket and flashes a huge grin.

I smile up at her graciously. Then my head snaps back to Matthew as I exclaim, "Oh! And my name's Charlotte!!! Will that be a little more help?"

Matthew's solemn expression slowly fades into a small smile as Tracy giggles and nods the head of her mouse with her hand.

"Yes," she says, raising her voice higher than it already is and bouncing the mouse as if it were the one talking. "That helps me very much."

"Hey, you got a last name to go with that?" Matthew asks enthusiastically.

My smile melts back down to a frown. "No I- I don't remember. I'm sorry."

"Oh-No, no! Don't be sorry," Matthew quickly says. "It's ok. We can go with this. We'll make it. But first let's get you some dry clothes."

A smile creeps up my lips as Matthew stands back up.

"Can you walk?" Matthew asks gently.

I hadn't considered that. A little shakily, I do manage to stand up. Cautiously I place one foot in front of the other. Yes, I can still walk.

"Is that your bear?" Matthew asks, pointing at the one-armed little thing on the street.

I'm in the middle of shaking my head and once again replying with, 'I don't know' when another strange feeling hits me. Something inside me is screaming that I can't let this bear go. So I pick it up, it's white coat now tinted with gray and still soaked from the downpour.

Even so, there's something warm and comforting about it.

"I think it is..."

Tracy giggles and takes my hand and we start to stroll down the eerily familiar-yet still unfamiliar-streets of-I don't know where I am.

"Where are we?" I whisper, not thinking either of the people would actually hear me and answer.

Matthew glances at me with a look of pity and says, "Colorado Springs, Colorado."

I just nod.

The stores we pass on the street... I... I've seen them before... And I can almost remember why but the answers are just out of reach...

*~*~*

Matthew gave me some of his clothes to borrow and now we're standing in his living room. Tracy is clutching my hand and Matthew is on the phone.

"Who is he calling?" I ask little Tracy as I study Matthew.

"Mommy," she responds with the every present sparkle of her voice. "Mommy will know if you were at the orphanage before it burned down."

My head snaps down to look Tracy. Her smile is so sweet and casual like meeting a girl who has no idea who she is an everyday thing. She nonchalantly looks back up at me and giggles, "What?"

"How will she know?"

"Cause Mommy works at the orphanage, silly!" Tracy says. Then her face suddenly goes solemn like I didn't think was possible for her.

"At least..." her little voice shakes... "At least she did..."

My heart leaps and breaks all at once. How lucky am I that these people have access to the very lady who can help me? But... Now what's going to happen if their Mom is out of a job? Is their dad around?

"Yes, Mom," Matthews voice interrupts my thoughts. "I know you're busy. But this is about one of the kids. There was a kid named Charlotte at the orphanage right?"

He pauses as the answer comes. "Her and her sister?" he asks looking over at me.

My heart skips a beat.

I... I have a sister?

My heart races as Matthew scans me and nods, probably responding to some questions to confirm that I am the Charlotte from the orphanage.

But all I can think of is my sister.

Things are slowly coming back to me, it feels. But once the memories are about to be in reach, they sprint away as if their only goal is to taunt me.

"Ok. Thanks Mom! Charlotte will be happy!"

Matthew hangs up the phone and turns to face me.

"I think you are one of the kids from the orphanage," he says slowly.

Never mind that!

"I have a sister?" I squeak.

His eyes get that look of pity again and I kind of hate it.

"Does the name Angelica ring a bell?" he asks hopefully.

The feeling comes again only this time, it's stronger. A lifetime of memories are trying to fight their way to the surface but they're only getting pulled under the waves again and again.

My eyes fill up with tears as I shake my head and lean against the wall. Tracy hasn't let my hand go this whole time and now, she squeezes tighter.

"Don't cry, Charlotte!" she begs.

But I do. I cry for the lifetime I've forgotten. I cry because the only thing I seem to remember is pain. I cry because forgetting my sister must've been my fault. I cry because I want to see Angelica... But I don't want to because I don't want to hurt her.

"Charlotte! Please, why are you crying?" Matthew asks, sitting next to me.

"Why-can't-I-re-mem-ber?" I cry.

"It's not your fault," Matthew says, rubbing my back.

The only sound for a few moments are my sobs.

Then Tracy hesitantly says, "Maybe if we see her in the hospital, then you'll remember."

"The hospital?" I ask, scared. "Why is she in the hospital?"

"Burns from the fire, but don't worry! They aren't bad ones. She's gonna be ok," Matthew says.

Angelica... Angelica....

I look down at the bear which is on the floor in front of me. Squeezing Tracy's hand I release it and grab the bear. I study it closely...

Angelica... Bear... Stores on the streets of Colorado Springs...

The memories are pushing to to the surface again, trying so hard it almost physically hurts.

"Did.... Angelica have a nickname?"

Matthew furrows his eyebrows. "Yeah, I think you guys called her Angel most of the time."

I shake my head and fight the tears that want to come up again. That didn't help me remember.

"Ok," I whisper, clutching the bear tightly to try and let out some emotion. "Let's go see Angelica."

"One sec," Matthew says, pulling out his phone again. He dials a number and says, "Mom? Yeah, is Angelica out of the hospital?"

Before he can even finish the question a pounding comes from the front door.

Matthew raises his eyebrows and glances in the direction of the noise.

"Oh! Great! Thanks, Mom. Love you too."

"Tell her I love her!!!!" Tracy insists.

Matthew smiles and repeats that very message into his phone before hanging up.

The pounding comes again, so loudly I almost jump out of my skin.

"Mom sent Angelica here," Matthew blurts.

"What?" I squeak.

The knocking comes again. This time it's accompanied by a voice shouting, "Matthew??? Your mom sent me!"

Matthew glances at me warily.

"Will you be ok if I let her in?" he asks.

"You can do it! You can remember!!!!" Tracy encourages me.

The voice comes again, fighting to get words out through the lump in her throat. "Char bear? Are you in there?"

And that's the moment.

Suddenly, everything breaks through the surface and then crashes down on me like a waterfall. It's so much... I start breathing heavily and I tip over a little.

"Oh my gosh, Charlotte! Charlotte are you ok?" Matthew demands.

But I barely hear him. I force myself onto my feet and frantically try to get to the door.

Angel, Angel, how did I ever forget Angel????

Tears blur my vision and I run into a few walls along the way but I get to the front door eventually.

I fling it open and literally fall into Angelica's arms.

"CHARLOTTE!!!" she screams, putting her arms around me and pulling my feet off the ground.

"Angel!!!! Angel!!!!" I cry, my tears drenching the shoulder that I'm burying my face in.

Everything has come rolling back and so I just cry. I cry for the pain of my life that I'd forgotten but am now remembering. The last time my Mom whispered "I love you, Char Bear" to me as she took her last breath.

I cry in joy that the times of shopping with my sister were back in my mind and I relish in the fact that her hug is such a familiar thing.

I cry for the fact that it took me so long to learn to love myself and that Angel was the only thing keeping me going.

And I remember the moment I was coming back from a quick errand to get food from the store across the street and came out to see the orphanage on fire.

I had gone hysterical. I screamed "ANGEL!!!" and didn't look as I ran across the street. A car came rolling in. It tried to stop but didn't in time. It hit me, and I flew to the side of the road and hit my head on something sharp.

And then I woke to the world on a sidewalk in front of a burnt down orphanage, getting drenched as rain poured down buckets at a time.

But now I'm here, safe in Angel's arms.

I hear her say, "Thank you."

I lift my head off Angel's shoulder and turn it to see Matthew and Tracy standing in the doorway. It's funny how identical they look when they both where the same wide eyes and dropped jaw.

Tracy's mouth quickly goes back to being turned up at the corners and she hands me, what I now know, has been my bear since I was two.

"This is yours," she says cheerfully.

"Thanks," I say. Then I look back at Matthew and add, "For everything."

He smiles humbly.

"Awww, Char Bear! You still have your little teddy!"

I smile at Angel and wrap my arms around her once again.

I don't know what happened to my brain when that car hit me and I blacked out.

Most people probably don't get their memories back.

Getting mine back was nothing short of a miracle.

Heck, surviving something like that is a miracle.

To anyone other than the people at the orphanage, I was just a homeless girl on the street that day. All the other orphan children were at the hospital and then sent to another orphanage a couple hours from here.

But Angel was hurt a little worse than the others and stayed a little longer.

Just long enough to get the news from Matthew and Tracy's mom that I, her little Char Bear, was still here in town.

The more people grow up, the more we seem to say that the world is simply cruel.

But sometimes, someone comes along in pink rain boots or a grey sweatshirt and shows you there's still plenty of beauty and good in this world.

Sometimes, God gives you such an extraordinary miracle that you can't help but cry out your thanks to Him.

Sometimes, something will happen to you and you'll forget what the feeling of joy is.

But then sometimes, something amazing happens to you, and you feel that even when dark days inevitably come your way....

You'll still be able to find the rainbow in the rain.