"I want you to turn me into a vampire."

I don't know about you, but having someone actually say that and mean it is not exactly something I had ever expected. And I definitely didn't welcome it. Yes, I am a vampire, and no, nobody had ever asked that of me before. I mean like seriously: who actually does that, right?

I was in the middle of trying very hard to get drunk and was desperately failing to do even that, so that didn't put me in the best frame of mind. Cheap tequila is still expensive tequila when you're dead broke and I wasn't looking forward to the moment the bartender tried to run my poor dented, and highly abused debit card.

"Fuck off," I said to the squirrelly little dude who had settled into the seat across the table and who had immediately made the insane request. The dude had almost no chin to speak of and wore a stupid fucking fedora much too big for him, and looked nothing like a gorgeous redhead with tattoos, so he instantly had all of that going against him. He also looked as broke as I was, one badly timed paycheque away from being in the negative on the bank balance, so I knew there would be very little chance of getting any drinks out of him.

"I know you're a vampire," he insisted. "I want you to turn me into one of you. Into a vampire."

I took another look at the dude and realized that I had seen him sneaking curious glances at me about an hour ago, almost as if he recognized me or, at least, thought he recognized me but couldn't quite figure out who I was. The thought had occurred to me that maybe he was gay and was just checking me out and being stupidly obvious about it, but guys with his looks tended to be a little shyer.

Thing is, I had been getting lots of unwelcome attention ever since my eyes had changed color. It's not every day that you see a brown guy like me with the particular shade of intensely pale blue eyes that was unique among vampires. I'm mixed, half-black and half-hispanic, so the contrast can't be ignored. Some people assumed that I was wearing contacts and dismissed me as pretentious, but they tended to be the exception. So I had taken to wearing dark sunglasses even at night. Unfortunately this had produced the opposite effect and people had started thinking I was a rockstar or something and would usually end up shocked when I tried to get them to pay for my drinks. That usually did not go down very well. I must say that the eyes did have a remarkable effect on women and I wasn't shy about using it to my advantage.

Squirrel Boy was definitely not someone whose pants I wanted to get into, and neither was he a friend. I didn't know who the hell he was, so the possibility that I owed him money or that he had been sent to kill me was pretty low. That had been a relief, especially after the events of the past week, and I really didn't feel like having yet another fight for my life. My future plans had involved me not fighting at all, but life has a way of hijacking all my plans.

I decided to try another tactic.

"That's your opening line? Seriously dude?"

Squirrel Boy swallowed hard and clutched his stupid shoulder bag even tighter than he had before. I knew almost instantly that he had some type of stupid ass weapon inside, that he intended to use to protect himself or to fend me off. I also realized I scared the shit out of him. I almost laughed at that and wondered what type of movie he had playing in his head where he had decided he was the lead and where I was the scary bad vampire man.

"Do I even know you?" I asked him.

"Not exactly. I mean, I think I sorta know you. I've seen you down at HTDK--"

I snorted. I just couldn't help myself. "Not likely. They like 'em prettier than you. No offense."

Squirrel Boy blushed. "I was waiting outside in the line..." he mumbled and I almost felt sorry for him. "I've seen you there lots of times. And then you started showing up here. I know what you are," he whispered to me. "I could tell the whole bar, expose your secret."

I drained the glass and looked mournfully at the bottom and then looked even more mournfully at the empty bottle on the table. I still had no idea how I had managed to convince the bartender to give me the bottle, but I wasn't about to punch a gift horse in the eye. When life gives you tequila, you look for the lemons it gave you earlier. One of the problems with being a vampire is that it's impossible to go on a proper bender anymore. My body metabolizes alcohol too quickly and I end up sober with a throbbing headache before I even leave the bar... if I don't keep drinking. I miss the days of getting blackout drunk sometimes. Used to be a hell of a lot cheaper too.

That's one thing nobody ever tells you. Being a vampire is expensive in ways you never thought of.

I sighed deeply and looked blearily at Squirrel Boy.

"Go ahead then. Out me. Like I give a fuck."

Squirrel Boy licked his lips nervously, his bluff called. He apparently had seen this playing out differently. For a second, I almost felt sorry for him and considered telling him how lucky he was it was only me he was pulling this stupid stunt with. If it had been someone like Beatrice, she would already be beating the shit out of him in one of the bathroom stalls. And she most definitely wouldn't even bother with any biting, but there's no telling with a vampire like Beatrice.

"Look, what's your name. I can't call you Squirrel Boy all night."

"Armand?" A look of confusion crossed his face. "You haven't called me Squirrel B-"

"That's not your real name. If you're going to be obnoxious to me, you might as well tell me your real fucking name."

Squirrel Boy slumped and mumbled something under his breath, clearly embarrassed. "It's Sidney."

"Nice to meet you Sidney. I'm Bob," I grinned wickedly. "Now go get me some more drinks Sidney. Then we'll talk."

**************************

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Welcome to those new to the story, and I guess welcome back to those who know the story well. I'm moving on to an exciting stage, which is essentially getting this novel published and out into bookstores, libraries and actually being able to be ordered on Amazon and other booksellers. It's taken a while to get this book into shape but ultimately I think it's worth it, since what I'll be sharing with you is a familiar story, but something that has been shaped by comments and questions on the original chapters.

As always I'll try to answer any comments, but feel free to read and let me know what you think.

Featured song: "Yellow" by Coldplay

QUESTION OF THE DAY: What's your favourite cool thing about the vampire legend?