Book Title: How it all goes

Author: 

Review:

1. Cover: A cover represents the book itself, unlike what most quotes say, books are indeed judged by their covers. All the things or objects displayed on this very page describes what the whole story is about. Your cover effortlessly describes the setting of the story to be a beach, so no problem there. The presence of the flower is however a bit faulty. If you are going to relate that flower with the character in later chapters then it is justified, but if not then you might want to replace it with something else. Like a chips packet, or something about the main event in the story. For example,

In the above-shown cover, the postcards represent the main event of the story, which is the letters that holly receives from her dead husband. Similarly, the usage of such meaningful objects is of great importance. Secondly, the title must be increased in size and the font should be changed to ensure its effect on the reader. Audrey or Capriola is some awesome fonts that you can use.

2. Title: The title suggests that the main character is impatiently waiting for something to work out or the time to pass. It's relatable to the story in the sense that Alex is awaiting her trip to Hawaii and is excited to find out how it will plan out. But, it's also more applicable in conditions wherein the aftermath is something unthinkable or dramatic like an end-of-the-world kind of thing. I won't ask you to change the title but I do recommend that you take a close look at the story, find out what stands out the most, and then decide the title. Your story is about fun and relaxation (From what I gather) so try to inculcate that into the title, and don't forget to add a mysterious end to it, that will surely attract more readers.

3. Summary: Your summary did not have any major mistakes as such and was all in all quite engaging. And it's ending was catchy so that was a plus point. There were however some points requiring attention. You repeated the part "to help pay" twice in the same sentence, so altering the sentence and directly linking Alex's need to pay bills for college instead of going through the part of the bills. This allows the shortening of the sentence and allows the reader to focus on the content and emotions rather than on the word redundancy. The gist of the summary is that Alex is hardworking and decided to take a break, an opportunity of vacation comes in the form of a trip to Hawaii planned by Mackenzie. Alex then meets a guy Noah and dreads the fact that she will meet him again, which in reality doesn't have much chance, so she resolved to enjoy the trip and meet new guys and have a good time. This was what I gathered, and what probably the reader will gather as well. Now considering that humans have a concentration span which is less than that of a fish, they will most probably focus on the fact that this is a holiday romance, thus ignoring all the minute details you put in the description about the character. I'd suggest you reduce the length of the description focusing on "what is" rather than going on and on about "what could be", writing crisp and short descriptions also increase the reader's interest.

4) Character Building- So far you introduced your characters very well, I was indeed a bit surprised to see that you wrote it in the first person. Alex's character is quite interesting, I specifically liked her full name (I can never manage to make up awesome names!). From what I gather she is pissed off a bit at most things like her father, her school, and stuff like that. You managed to build up the character's personality in the 1st chapter, this was what looked a little bit odd. You see, readers are like anybody on Christmas Day, we all like our presents wrapped up in beautiful paper, in a nutshell, you must introduce your character bit by bit, one characteristic at a time.

Now, Mackenzie was without a doubt a cool character, I enjoyed that party scene considering you managed to make a serious situation to be humorous. I believe she will get a bit jealous of Alex in the later chapters and there will be a fight (I like to predict! :)).

Other characters including Noah, Will, and their gang were cool too. I found Will's character to be extremely sweet.

5) Grammar- Your grammatical skills were indeed great, I did not come across any major mistakes and the minor ones didn't affect the plot at all. You did make some small mistakes though like in the prologue, you wrote "disappointed in me" while it should be "with me". These mistakes can be cleared out by editing and going to sites like Grammarly.in

6) Plot- Your plot was interesting and after a few chapters, it even became addictive. However, there was a little thing that I would like to point out. The 1st chapter is an extremely important part of the story, after the summary this is the next thing they look forward to, what I'm trying to say is they judge whether they will read further based on this chapter. Your first chapter included mainly the introduction of the characters, all in all, it did not contribute to the plot and didn't help to move it forward. My suggestion is that you introduce something or some sort of incident in the first chapter as well to make it more interesting.

The pace of your plot was greatly managed and I did not find any other faults.

P.S. If you want the other chapters to be reviewed please fill the form again.

If you want any improvisations in the review comment here:

~theloner