It wasn't Lanna's last trip to the shrubbery. Chowa believed in painful lessons.

As the days marched past, she wondered what the great First City would look like. Chowa had dismissed her questions on the topic as unimportant, so Lanna's imagination ran riot. She couldn't see anything wrong in her interest and grew more determined to find out information. It was the only form of rebellion she had.

One balmy morning she awoke with a new purpose. Eyes fluttering open, she inhaled the familiar scent of lush grass and dew. For a moment, she listened to an unknown bird as it called out to mark the rising sun.

Her new quest would take her mind off the village. She didn't want to admit how keenly she still missed Hemil. Lanna hadn't realised how much time she'd spent with him. He had simply been there with his quick smiles, throaty chuckles and, when he could get away with them, needy kisses. She felt the broken edges of her heart cut into her every time she thought of him.

Before tears could prick her eyes again, she grabbed a disk of polished copper Chowa had given her, called a 'reflector' in Imperial. Keeping a close eye on her orange-tinted image, Lanna pulled at her curly brown hair and used pins as Chowa did to pull bouncing strands from her face.

'Forgive me, ancestors, and forgive me, Ma. Do not look upon me harshly for this.' The Southern words dropped from her lips and she chuckled.

Riding a kelen required supportive attire that wouldn't do for what she planned. Lanna unbound her breasts and pulled her tunic down somewhat, to show a little of what she had below. She pulled on her skirt and hitched it up to show more leg and used a few pins to make sure the garment gaped to flash plenty of thigh.

If only she could get Frez to open up some. Every other attempt she'd made to talk to him had failed. In fact, he wouldn't even look at her, even though they were both Southern.

'Frez isn't even of middle years,' she muttered to herself as she folded her sleeping attire away. 'I wager his duties don't allow him to cast his rod very often.' Another wicked grin pulled at her lips. She had no intention of doing more than drawing the slave's eye. She peeped into the reflector one last time and pursed her lips at her umber image. Then she skipped out of her tent.

The morning mist lay heavy on the ranks of tents. Dew rolled off the canvas and coated spears of grass with crumbs of iridescent crystal.

A warm smell of fruit with a starchy undernote drew her towards the middle of the camp. Frez stood beside a huge pot of porridge, stirring as it simmered over a blazing fire.

He wasn't unpleasant to look at. The morning breeze teased at his blond locks, and his strong features and stubble would have served him well at choosing time. But he made her heart ache for her father and brother. Besides, after Hemil had wiggled his way into her affections, she suspected she might be stuck with a preference for Imperial men.

'Greetings to you, Clansman,' she said in the brightest tone she could muster.

Frez didn't even pause his stirring. 'You'll be scolded by Misra Chowa if she hears you speak Southern,' he muttered at the pot. The fire crackled and spat as if to punctuate his words.

Lanna flinched at his lukewarm reception but pushed ahead with her plan, strolling over to the cooking pot. Only then did he glance up at her. Blue eyes moved over her exposed limbs and low tunic, and she forced herself to relax even as her stomach fluttered.

'You shouldn't worry about your appearance,' he mumbled. 'You'll receive instruction on how to dress at the palace.'

Lanna recoiled, tugging her tunic back up to her shoulders in a sharp jerk.

'Misra Chowa is a beautiful woman,' Frez continued. 'Don't try to copy her. Just be as you are.' He paused in his stirring and passed her some apples to peel. 'You're to be an assistant – take pride in that.'

Lanna's chest squeezed, causing her to gasp. A memory slid from the depth of her mind to make her ache. Breathy heated words whispered to her after stolen moments with Hemil in the ox barn.

Don't ever change. I adore you as you are.

Frez must have seen her expression shift because his blue eyes fixed on her. 'You'll feel better with time,' he whispered. 'I know it's difficult. Imperials are different in that respect. They don't know how much we suffer when parted from those we consider family.'

She nodded, fighting the sting in her eyes as her chin wobbled. No, she wouldn't cry!

'Why did you leave your clan?' she blurted out, wanting to distance herself from her own hurt. There had to be a reason Frez served. Was he indebted to the Empire?

He was silent for quite some time. Lanna thought he wouldn't answer and busied herself preparing some fruit, but eventually he explained in their own tongue, eyes firmly on the bubbling porridge.

'The man – the man I wanted was chosen by a woman.' The halting words caused her eyes to widen. Man? But Frez continued, the words tripping over his lips as if he had to force them out. 'He decided... it was better to be with her and have children than – than to commit himself to me.'

Lanna's mouth dropped. She would never have guessed that Frez was one of the willingly unproductive. A person with a preference for their own gender. They were never given full rights of adulthood in her clan. There was no point: they would never have children.

Choosing to be unproductive was something Lanna couldn't understand. Some clans were small and couldn't afford to have healthy people choose to be unproductive. They had less favourable laws on unproductives. Breeding, of course, needed to be regulated to times of plenty and thaw, but not to have children at all?

'I refused to hide what I was,' Frez said, his voice gaining in strength. He'd punctured a hole in himself and soon the pressure would cause him to pour what fermented within him at her feet. 'I was young, angry and stubborn. The rejection hurt so badly that I thought I might die from it. I even stopped taking food.'

Lanna gulped. Her pining had never been so bad that she'd stopped eating. No one refused to eat. The cold quickly killed anyone who didn't have enough fat and muscle on their bodies.

'I declared myself to the clan and they asked me to leave.' He added the fruit Lanna had peeled and chopped to the pot, rough fingers brushing over her own as he took the chopping board from her. She almost jumped back from him and shuddered.

'They gave me supplies for the journey. Not all would be so kind. I headed north.'

Frez smirked to himself. 'Ran out of food halfway. Had to eat worms and leeches. A little chewy for my tastes.'

Lanna didn't respond. She cast her eyes to her feet, her mind taking a moment to pick over his story.

'Have I offended you?' The sneer in Frez's tone made her shoulders roll forward. 'I don't suffer from some disease. I was born liking men, as you were.'

Lanna drew in a breath. Ancestors forgive her, but she struggled. Her internal war must have shown on her face as Frez remained silent and continued to prepare the meal. Her mind skittered away from the thought of two men doing... doing that and moaning in deep voices as they...

Shaft her sideways! She shook her head as if she could shake the warmth from her burning cheeks. She shouldn't even talk to Frez after his confession, yet Frez was Chowa's slave – Lanna had to work with him. If she ignored him then Chowa may punish her and the village for her disobedience.

'This... this is not the clans,' Lanna squeaked at last. Her face felt like it was on fire; she wanted to hide under the nearest rock and never surface. 'Wh-What I think isn't...' Her words died, as did the last of her pride.

'I was welcomed in the First City,' Frez said, filling the awkward silence. Perhaps trying to spare some of her blushes. 'There, rank is all that matters in a pairing. Even then, exceptions can be made. Unproductives can marry, as long as we swear to take in orphans to replace the children we cannot have.'

Frez gave her a piercing look. 'Had you been healthy and stayed in the clans, you know what would have been expected of you. A choosing for breeding. Temporary, designed not to last. I see no honour in such arrangements. It denies us the connections we crave.' He sat back a little, arms folded. 'Our kind, our people – we feel deeply. We love deeply, and yet we are denied such in the name of survival?'

Lanna frowned. Her parents had stayed together after she was born. Though her mother had sired Durrick with another. There was no rule or pledge holding her parents to each other; they didn't need it. The idea of marriage had appealed to Lanna. Would it not to any from the clans? She forced out the first thing she could think of to lessen the weight on her dazed mind.

'Why are you not married?' She immediately regretted her words. Ancestors, she could be an insensitive bronto when she wished to be.

'I can wed. I simply do not wish to.' Frez gave an impatient sigh. 'You may find this hard to believe, but I adored the man I left.' His blue eyes looked over her once more. 'I feel as you do. No different from you losing your man. If you weren't so snowblind, you would know that.'

Lanna curled her toes, shame making her cringe back. Her reaction couldn't be a surprise to him. She felt awkward speaking of such things, as any clan girl would. She had been told all her life that preference for her own gender was not natural or right.

'I was also awestruck by the First City,' Frez said to the porridge. 'You'll understand what I mean when you see it. Our kin are mere animals compared to those that live in the heart of the city. I found employment and then I met Misra Chowa.' Frez sat back and stared into the cooking fire.

'She was impressed by my knowledge of herbs. Bought everything on my stall, then offered to buy me.' He chuckled and Lanna found herself smiling at the pleasant sound. 'I was insulted, until Epen explained the terms of slavery in the Empire.' His grin broadened and Lanna found herself rather charmed. 'Chowa is a practical woman and didn't care why I had left the south. She's also fair and told me that I would be required to work in the women's palace. That would mean meeting a certain requirement.' He eyed Lanna and fell silent for a moment as if waiting for her to guess.

'What was it?' she finally asked in a whisper.

'My ability to have children,' he said in an undertone. 'I'm now unproductive in truth.' He stirred the porridge and tasted it. Lanna's thoughts stopped.

'W-Why?'

'Issue from the women of that place must be the Emperor's. There can be absolutely no doubt in the paternity of any child. Therefore, all men who work in the women's palace have their ability to reproduce taken from them.'

'Why would you willingly do that?' Lanna cried. Frez still had the option of finding a mannish-looking woman and starting a family! What of Epen? Was he castrated also?

Frez snorted. 'You are so snow addled! I did so because I believe in the Empire. We have lost much. Humankind is a shadow of what it was. The Empire still has a remnant of our greatness and will help us rise.'

Finally, he looked up and fixed her with an icy blue stare. 'If we are ever to be great again, it is the Empire that will resurrect our dying race. The Empire is different from other nations. It has the will to better itself, not just survive. I will serve for the rest of my life and hope that those who come after us will build on our success.'

Lanna had no response in the face of such selflessness. After everything Frez had been through, he had dedicated his life to the betterment of future generations.

With a sigh, Lanna removed the pins from her hair, letting the brown curls ping back to fall around her face and shoulders. 'Your attitude humbles me, kinsman.' She moistened her lips and faced the problem head-on, as a Southerner should. 'You are unproductive. This is more than difficult for me to understand, but I shall try, kinsman, I just...'

'I'm not your kinsman in this place, Misra,' he reminded her, switching back to Imperial. They fell silent and Frez gave her the first serving of porridge out the pot. 'The sooner you let go of your old life and start accepting the new, the happier you'll be. The Empire doesn't care who you shaft. Only how you serve.'

Lanna swallowed, her throat feeling thick. Atleast her seduction attempt had passed unnoticed and for that she thanked herancestors and the Emperor.