Archive Log: 13
Walter was under no illusion, as he sat watching the small group to one side; he was being ignored. Two days had passed since Onora kissed him, two days had passed without her talking to him, or even looking his way; any looks which were sent were awkward and quick, she'd catch his eye and then just turn her gaze quickly elsewhere and talk to whoever was near to her, as long as it wasn't him. Walter had tried, don't get him wrong, he had tried to approach and talk to her. But all he got was nervous laughter, which sounded fake to him, an even more awkward smile and an excuse that Onora had promised to go and do something with someone else.
This caused him to frown, that was such a wide category of things really. He later found out that Daniels and herself were target practicing, the terraformist had quite a good aim and happily decided to help Onora out, regardless of Walter's previous pointers. When it got to a certain time of the day, Onora would grab something to eat and disappear to her room. He, and everyone else, wouldn't see her anymore. It was like she had done all she needed to do with her day, and had had enough. Walter had knocked on her door once, only to get silence. He presumed she was asleep, but he had tried it on the second day of being ignored in the morning and got nothing. She wasn't asleep, he had heard movement which had stopped when he knocked. Clearly because he didn't speak out, she could guess who it was and stayed silent. It was no use, Walter heard her, and he understood all too well now with what was happening.
He didn't like being ignored, though he was certain it was a thing no one enjoyed. Onora had now taken to surrounding herself with the other crew members, Walter would try and get close and involved and he actually couldn't find a way into the conversation. It was like everyone else was shunning him too, surely she wasn't petty enough to have said what happened? Walter frowned, he doubted that hugely as he watched Onora talking away to Karine, telling anyone else what happened would embarrass her surely? She seemed embarrassed by kissing him anyway. Or rather embarrassed by the fact that he didn't react. Not that Walter reacted to the other small kisses she sent his way anyway, at best he'd give a small smile. He probably should've had the hindsight to see that something like this would happen. People and their attachments, they did like to show affection, and Walter didn't think for one second really that Onora had affection towards him; fondness like a friend, that was about it. Anything more didn't even cross his mind. Yes, sure, he had many settings programmed in, love and romance wasn't his primary right now, so it was shirked and forgotten. In part because he forgot about that emotion, and regardless of being surrounded by couples, Walter had always accepted that he was alone. He wouldn't need to know that side of life. Because no one would take a second glance his way and feel like that about him. Because, maybe, it would be strange for a human to feel love towards a machine? Walter didn't know. He hadn't got an answer for that. But Onora clearly did, she clearly felt something for him. So maybe it wasn't so odd. But if anyone else knew, they'd both be a never ending joke. Onora would have enough self preservation, Walter was sure, to stay silent and not admit to anyone of kissing him, and his lack of a reaction. What else was he to do? He didn't know that was going to happen. She had never hinted anything more when together. Walter sighed, he was unable to suffer from a headache, but if he could, he was certain this would make his head hurt, a lot.
His eyes tracked Onora and Karine as they stood talking about equipment, some of the stuff which they would be using on their journey had been shipped in. Like children at Christmas, they clearly wanted to open the packages and see what was inside. Naturally, the bigger pieces couldn't be opened and got out and inspected, but that didn't mean some other things couldn't be ogled at. Everything was so top of the line. Walter doubted hugely that Onora had ever used such high-tech equipment before. He didn't know all of her previous places of employment, but the one he had visited was severely lacking in decent things. He remembered that all too well.
"Are you okay?" Walter looked up, he hadn't realised he was just staring at the spot where Onora was just sitting. She had gone now, her and Karine were off in another part of the base freaking out over equipment. He had just been sitting to one side, head tilted and looking towards the window before Daniels cut his thoughts short. She sat down with a strained smile, she looked to the window and then him. "Nothing is stopping you going out, Walter. It's just us lot." She stated, he couldn't get ill. Daniels thought he was missing the outside world, maybe just a little bit. She couldn't help but smile at that, surely being shut away was driving Walter a little barmy too?
"I am quite content inside, thank you." Walter replied, polite as ever as he looked to Daniels and smiled. "Do you miss it?" He asked, thinking of a casual response. There were many logged in his brain, but he opted for this one.
She sighed and ran her hands up and down her arms, "Yeah," she laughed with a grin. "I really do. I mean, I don't miss traffic jams, and rude people in coffee shops. But I do miss waking up at dawn and watching the sunrise from the comfort of my own bed."
Walter blinked and thought over that, he nodded. He didn't know home comforts. This place was literally the only thing as close to home comforts as possible. He looked to his hands in his lap and looked slowly back up at Daniels. She just smiled, he could see in her eyes though that she was waiting for him to say what was troubling him. Walter looked around, no one else was near. "I think I'm being ignored."
Daniels double took, "What?" She even laughed quietly. That she couldn't believe. Everyone spoke cordially to Walter. No one asked ridiculous demands of him. For the most part, everyone just treated him like one of their own. No one particularly looked at him like a synthetic. "By who and why?" Daniels asked seriously. If someone was treating him badly, she wanted to know. She quite liked Walter, everyone was a bit hesitant at first with him, but he actually ended up being alright. He didn't do anything overly annoying, or offensive, he got on with everyone and was patient and kind to them in return. The thought of someone treating him badly baffled her.
"Onora. The reasons why, I do believe, I cannot divulge in." Walter said honestly. He wasn't going to sit here and lie. He'd say who just not why. He didn't want to totally embarrass Onora more. He couldn't be vindictive like that to a human.
Daniels shifted in her seat to tuck her legs underneath herself. "Have you tried talking to her?"
Walter nodded stiffly, "She keeps moving away from me, or just blanking me."
Daniels frowned and let out a thoughtful hum. "So you won't tell me why you're being ignored?"
"I cannot."
Daniels raised her eyebrows, it sounded serious. "Did you two argue?" She asked hesitantly, Walter's face was blank. Daniels sighed, she held her hands up, "Okay, okay, I won't try and find out. This thing, whatever it is, surely can't be so bad as to ruin your friendship?" Walter seemed to be the only one really who managed to truly pull Onora out of her shell.
"It wouldn't to me. But people, you have odd ways."
Daniels smirked, "We are odd," she laughed quietly agreeing completely. She couldn't disagree with him, but it still caused her to sit with a thoughtful look on her face. "Do you miss talking to her?"
"Of course." Walter replied almost instantly, causing Daniels to smile. "What?" He didn't get it, Daniels just smiled and shook her head loosely. He was lost, Daniels could see it, without Onora's friendship and her presence around. Everyone had eyes and could see that they'd somehow forged a friendship. Everyone here had someone else to spend time with and talk to, these two didn't, other than each other when everyone was being all coupley.
"Nothing, nothing," Daniels waved her hand at him. "Talk to her, Walter. Even if she doesn't want to talk to you. You've got to have your say. Where is she now?"
"With Karine." Walter watched as she nodded and stood. "Where are you going?"
"To get her."
Walter shot up, "It can wait." He said while watching as Daniels moved around him shaking her head, disagreeing with him. "Daniels." Walter said sternly, she wasn't having any of it and disappeared to find the missing biologist. Walter looked around with a frown, he didn't want it to look like he had sent Daniels to get Onora away from Karine. He turned and walked out of the room, deciding to just go and find somewhere else to sit and be silent.
Unfortunately for Walter, that didn't go to plan. He walked into one of the rooms with a large table and chairs, a meeting room. No sooner had he sat down did he hear Daniels calling out to him, he looked up and watched as she walked in with Onora behind her. Then she did something Walter didn't even think to ponder over, she side stepped around Onora before she could properly realise where she was, and then shut the door.
Onora instantly jumped and turned to the door, giving the handle a rattle. It wasn't opening. She seemed to get panicked by this, her hands running through her hair as she kicked the door and banged on it. Walter watched her sadly, she wasn't getting out. Especially if Daniels had somehow managed to lock the door, or even barricade it.
"You might need help," Walter said, watching as she jumped and put a hand over her heart. He just sat there at the table smiling sympathetically at her. She didn't even see he was in the room, even from where she stood she decided the floor or the wall to the side was more interesting then him. "Come and sit," Walter said, "Daniels will return to let us out soon." Walter hoped she would listen to him, like usual, but she shook her head and slid down the wall near the door and sat there. Walter sighed, he pushed himself out of the chair and walked over. He knelt in front of her, Onora picked her head up from her hands and looked at him simply. "I didn't ask her to get you."
"It's fine."
"It's not, I don't want you putting blame on someone who was just trying to help. Though granted, I cannot say I am much of a fan of her idea of helping. Especially seems it is bringing distress to you." Walter looked up at the door beside them before looking back at Onora. She had taken to leaning her head against the wall with her eyes looking at him dimly. "Do you hate me?"
She frowned instantly, "No! No...Walter, of course I don't hate you."
"Then why shut me out?" He asked quietly, his eyebrows furrowing sadly as he looked at her with a worried look.
Onora sighed and looked around the room. She inhaled deeply and pushed away from the wall, she crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap. Twiddling her fingers, Walter watched the small digits twisting about knowing full well she did that whenever she was nervous and worried over something. He frowned and looked back to her face, surely she wasn't concerned about talking to him? "Because I felt like an idiot."
"You're not an idiot, Nora." Walter said quietly while leaning forwards to be in her line of sight.
He watched as her lips pulled into a tight smile. "Nicknames, huh?" Walter's head tilted, yet he still looked at her with the same expression of concern. Onora just nodded, "I might not be stupid, but I felt it. I just thought it would be easier, in the long run, detaching myself emotionally from you...especially seems it doesn't really compute with you, sorry for the pun." She did look apologetically up at him before looking back at her hands.
Walter frowned, he placed a hand over her hands. He didn't like watching her fingers twisting and turning together, he honestly thought she was going to hurt herself if she kept on. He felt her hands stop and tense under his own. "I understand the emotion. I was just unaware that I would need to be in tune with it here, on this mission." Walter explained, she still didn't look at him, her eyes remained down on their hands.
"I miss you, Walter." Onora said quietly while looking up at him. Walter lifted his other hand up and wiped under her eyes. She looked truly apologetic for ignoring him. That in fact, though she meant well by the action, that in the long run all that she had done was hurt herself just as much as hurting him. "I am sorry."
"It was just two days," he tried to lighten the moment up by smiling, only for that to slip when she shook her head. "What?"
"I'm sorry for kissing you. I shouldn't have done that...it's just made everything awkward."
Walter shook his head, "It hasn't." He said worriedly, his eyes searched hers as she just quietly sniffled and looked away again. Walter pressed his lips into a thin line, "It hasn't," he said in a sterner tone.
"Maybe not for you! You weren't the one doing the kissing and getting nothing for it! You can seemingly sit there and say it hasn't changed anything, but it has. Maybe not to you, but it has to me." Onora said while gently pushing his hand away from her cheek with a sigh.
"You like me." Walter stated and watched as she tensed. "Why else would you be hung up on something initially so simple?" He asked and just watched as she slowly turned her head to look at him. "I meant what I said; I understand the emotion, I was just unaware that I would need to be in tune with it here. I can't feel what you feel for me, Nora. It would be one-sided."
"You're wrong, Walter! You can feel, I have seen it...you think it makes you faulty, or something, but no...no, you can feel. There's something in you that understands and comprehends emotions, you're not so much as a blank slate as you think." Onora said while shaking her head, disagreeing with what he was saying.
Walter was silent, he tilted his head in thought before blinking slowly and looking back at her. She had taken to leaning against the wall again, a sadly desperate look on her face. She looked so defeated. Walter felt sorry for her, in more ways than one. But something did overrule the sympathy, and that was resolution; he wished to be in denial, but him and feelings were something which weren't meant to exist. Feeling caused problems with whoever he, or other synthetics were around; but in hindsight, what was one kiss in comparison to what other Walter models might be going through if programmed into primary caregiving, romantic settings? Was someone honestly going to tell him that they did not feel for those they were with? How was that possible? How could something be alive yet not feel?
Walter frowned and shook his head, maybe life for him was a lot more complex than he thought, or first thought however. Sure, he was here to help and to look after those around him; but nothing was said about one maybe getting more care and attention than others. Walter realised it then, not a swift change of settings or anything, that even without that present, he liked Onora. He liked her quite a bit, and that confused him still, it confused him when she kissed him, it confused him when she sent any affectionate action his way; it confused him nonstop, all of it.
Onora let out a startled noise, which was muffled by him suddenly leaning forwards and kissing her. She sighed though, and hesitantly reached out to place her hands over his shoulders. Her hands didn't stay still for long, they rubbed and ran up his neck before settling there and running her thumbs gently across his jaw. Walter's hands steadied him against the wall, one staying put near her head and the other moving to settle against her side. She gave a small jolt at that, even a laugh yet pecked his lips twice more before putting a hand to his chest and pushing him away so she could breathe.
Walter looked at her, cheeks reddened and her breathing out of synch, yet he rested his forehead against hers. She shut her eyes and nudged her face gently against his as her hands left and reappeared on his waist. Walter pushed up in his kneeling position and shuffled forwards a little, regardless if either realised but her legs uncrossed and ended up linking over his while they kissed. Onora moved her face away and leaned her head against his shoulder, she nestled near when his hands gripped onto her and picked her up with ease. Her hands latched back onto his shoulders from this action yet loosened up and nuzzled her face against the crook of his neck when he took to sitting against the wall with his legs stretched out in front of him. His arms supported Onora against him, one arm around her back and the over across her lap, he turned his head and managed to kiss her on the forehead before leaning his head on top of hers. There was a content sigh from her as the hand against his chest tightened and gripped onto his long sleeved t-shirt. Walter believed then, after two days, that they were back on the same page and fine again. He blinked and looked down when she shuffled in his lap and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He rested his forehead back against hers as her hand combed at the hair in his nape and her eyes looked into his, Walter smiled, and for the first time in two days got a smile, a genuine smile sent back at him.
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(A/N: I return! I am sorry for the delay. I was going to update this along with David the other day but had a power cut, so it never happened. Tbh, considering the lack of attention from that last chapter I highly doubt this'll get much. I always find through lack of updating most people don't bother coming back if and when something is updated. Eh, I'm being more pessimistic than usual. Sorry, just life atm...has sucked, ignore me.)
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