When I first started this whole thing I knew I'd have to get intimate with him, I just didn't know it would feel this good. He touches me in a way that no guy has ever done before. He seems like he'd be the one to take the lead, and rush into things, but he's not. His eyes literally find mine before he does anything to me, and I wonder if he's done this with any other girl. According to Charlene he just took whatever he wanted. He's not taking anything without permission, and I think I made that clear the first time we met.

The look on his face when I take over and grab a hold of him is priceless. He's in shock just like he's been every time I've done something out of the norm for his type of girl. He's made me feel good and even though this isn't real I have to give him something in return. I'm okay with it too because I like making him feel good. I'm liking this more than I should, and I want to stop I really do, but I can't make myself.

His lips are on my neck and he's planting tiny kisses all along my body. It does something to me, awakens something inside. I grab a hold of him and push him into the tile wall then slide down. I help him finish as he did for me, and when he's done I stand and stare at him for a few seconds. His expression is unreadable and I sure hope I didn't cross some kind of line. I think maybe he's still in shock that I'm allowing him to touch me, and that I'm touching him in return.

"You didn't have to..."

"I know," I tell him.

He bites his lip for a minute and then smirks. I nod when he calls for my attention and he pulls me close. I can feel everything being this close and naked, but somehow this feels right. I need to stop so I pull away and reach for the blue cloth hanging on the shower caddy. I grab the one for him and hand it to him. The rest of our shower is just us washing and making small talk. This feels so easy.

"So I think I should head outside make sure everything is plowed, was hard to see last night," says.

"Oh okay, I could finish that breakfast we were making, and maybe come out and help after?" I ask.

"I got outside, I'll be in by the time you're done," he says.

"Okay," I say stepping into my towel and wrapping it around myself.

I walk over to the sink to start brushing my teeth when I catch the feeling of his warmth behind me. I look into the mirror to see him, his eyes are watching my every move. I sink back and let him put his arms around me. He plants small kisses along the side of my neck and I moan quietly.

"I better be careful or you'll have to take another shower," he jokes.

I bump into him and laugh, "What are we doing today, since we are kind of snowed in," I say.

"I've got some plans..."

"Other than fooling around?" I question wiggling my brows.

He laughs, "Yes other than fooling around. I see where your mind is Galaxy girl," he jokes.

After getting ready we both go our separate ways to do our own thing. I hear the snow plow start as he finishes up what he started last night. It's no longer snowing, but the skies are still gray and it looks cold. I clean up the mess we made with the flour and then start cooking the pancakes I'd started.

***

"Where are we going?" I question trudging through knee deep snow in the backyard.

"You'll see," he says.

He leads me over to a small shed, he didn't make a path back here so he has to tug hard to open the door. Inside the shed are old wooden sleds. My eyes widen, I haven't gone sledding since I was little with my family. Of course it was always a competition that my sister won, but I loved it anyway. We take them out and head over to a small hill near the lake. It's a tiring walk with all the snow, but totally worth it.

We bring the sleds to the top of the hill both huffing and puffing. I nearly fall down as we reach the top. It's not a high hill but I can see the top of the lake. The ice shimmers and the scenery here is gorgeous. I don't care how I got to this point, but being here is peaceful. Jace gets on his sled and I hop onto mine.

"You ready to eat snow galaxy girl?" he says.

"Better watch it west coast boy, or I'll freeze off your ba..."

"Go!" he shouts interrupting me.

His sled has already started. I scream and push off as he nears the bottom before I can get near. Oh he's going to get it! C'mon sled. Jace hits the bottom and skids to a stop. I'm seconds away and nearly crash into him, but he moves a second before. My sled tilts and I fall into the snow laughing. The rush of sledding down the mountain was amazing. I'd do it a million times over.

"So who's eating snow?" Jace questions standing over me.

I look up at him swipe at his legs with my feet and it catches him off guard. He falls with a thud and I crack up.

"Oh wait ... I'm pretty sure it's you..." I laugh.

He grabs a hold of me and pulls me close to him. I try grabbing snow to throw at him, but he holds me tight. I giggle and turn, our cold faces are so close it's making me warm even with the snow seeping through my pants. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest the anticipation of his kiss is kind of making my body do all kinds of crazy things. I need to break this moment and fast, I've had way too many moments of weakness the past day. Secretly I reach out to my side and grab some snow. His lips are so close I can feel them, warm breath lingers as I reach up and bash him with a snow ball. He loosens his grip on me and I roll out from underneath. He's now got one in his hand and tries to go after me. We both slip and slide on the snow falling and hitting each other. This is so much easier than all the feelings that come along with kissing.

***

"So let's play like twenty questions or something," I say.

We are sitting in front of a roaring fire after pelting each other with snow for about an hour. We decided some hot chocolate and some stress cookies were the way to spend the afternoon. The fire feels good as I bundle myself under the blanket. Thankfully the couch is dry and cleaned after my little incident this morning. Our feet touch under the blanket, but that's it as we sit on opposite sides of the couch.

"I'm down, I like games. Back home we are big on truth or dare..."

I can't help it I laugh, I haven't played truth or dare since junior high. He looks at me.

"What are all your friends like twelve?" I joke.

"Very funny, no we make it a little more "R" rated," he says.

Part of me wonders if this is how Charlene got caught up in everything. It was probably over some stupid game of truth or dare. I remember her telling me about the frat house and how she'd met him there although he wasn't in college, he was friends with a group that was associated with the frat. I'm about to make a comment having to do with Char, but I bite my tongue instead.

"Okay then so what makes you happy?" he questions going first.

I shift in my seat, "Bubbles," I say.

"Bubbles?"

"Bubbles," I repeat and he gives me a look.

"Have you ever seen a room full of kids and a bubble machine? It's like pure magic... one could be crying, one might be hiding in the corner, another might be angry about something but then you put that damn machine on and it's like all of that goes away and there's only bubbles. Bubbles are literally the cure for everything."

"That's an interesting thought," he says. "So next time your sad I should bring bubbles with me?" he questions.

I laugh and kick him lightly.

"What about you Jace, what makes you happy?" I ask.

"New York," he says.

I tilt my head to the side trying to figure out what he means.

"She's been good to me, I mean. I came here high, literally got on the plane high and then had some drinks in the airport before I left. I slept on the plane ride and when I stepped off it's like something changed. I know it sounds ridiculous," he says.

"Not really, a place can change someone," I say.

"I mean I haven't been one hundred percent clean since arriving here, but I'm a lot better off than I was in Washington," he says. "I almost don't ever want to go back."

He pauses for a brief second, "The Galaxy is mine," he says.

"Wait, what?"

"It was in the will," he tells me.

"Are you going to take it?" I question.

"I don't know," he says staring off at the fire.

"I'm not sure I'm up for that kind of responsibility," he says. "I'm still just a kid," he says.

"We're in our twenties, we aren't kids anymore," I tell him.

"True, but running a night club is serious business. Right now his son Roger from his first marriage is taking over, it's not really his thing he hates running the show. If I don't take it over he will, and he might even sell it," he says.

"That would be so sad, but for you that's a hard choice," I say.

"Tell me about it," he seems agitated.

"Name one place in the city you've always wanted to go to, but never got the chance?" he asks.

"Serendipity," I say with a dreamy look in my eye.

"What's that?"

"It's this adorable little shop, it was featured in the John Cusack movie with the same name. Kate Beckensale is in it too. I've mean meaning to get to it for so long. I mean I've lived in New York all my life and have never been. I've done Times Square, Statue of Liberty, and Empire State, you name it I've done it, but that's the one thing..."

"Oh, my fantasy girl," he laughs. I roll my eyes. "What do they have?" he asks.

"Regular food, but their desserts I've heard are the best," I say. "I just love that movie and have always wanted to see what the fuss is all about," I say.

"Accidentally finding something good, huh?" he says staring at me.

"Yup, finding something good without trying," I say locking my eyes on his.

We sit in quiet for a little bit. I stare at the floor, while Jace watches the fire. I'm not really sure what to say after that. This trip is getting intimate fast.

"First car?" I ask breaking the long silence.

"Okay don't laugh," he says. "We were a bit young, but do you remember those ugly beetles? Like the bright colored ones?" he asks.

"Like nineties style?"

"Exactly. My mom had a bright green one and it was kind of like her mid-life crisis car I guess," he laughs. "Anyway, I learned how to drive in that car and after I passed my test she tells me it's mine. Talk about embarrassing, I pretty much had my buddies pick me up for school every day," he laughs at the memories. "What's yours?"

"I um... don't really drive, my parents bought my sister a mustang for our sixteenth birthday. Me? They bought a Honda," I say.

"So your sister is their favorite?"

"Pretty much. I mean she is the one who got into Julliard not me..." I can feel the anger boiling inside. "She sabotaged my audition by leaving a mess so I'd fall down the stairs. I was a better dancer hands down and she was jealous. Although she had my parent's full attention she had to take this from me too," I say. "Oh and get this you know why I stress baked the other day?" my voice raises and he looks worried. "They wanted me to go to her performance, the funny thing is it falls on the same day as the court date," I laugh, but it's not in a joking way. "I told them and you know what they said?" I laugh again, eyes burning. "She said, well if my other plans were so important... important? She was questioning the court date being important. Like I asked for some guy to fucking grope me in the middle of the god damn..." a sob escapes my mouth as his arms wrap around me.

He pulls me close and smooths my hair with his hand over and over. He lays a cheek on my head and lets me cry. That night still makes me so mad, I know I wasn't the easiest child and definitely not an easy teen but I should still have their support. They should be by my side fighting for me, but they never did and never will. I pull away and wipe my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Don't be," he says. "I know kind of how you feel," he says wiping a tear off my cheek. "My mom never really cared about what I did or where I was. She was more interested in finding a new guy to screw around with. I'd spent so many nights listening to the sound of her fucking someone in the next room. That messed me up," he says. "The only time I ever felt like I was loved or cared about was when Frank came into my life. He was a great guy until she cheated on him for the third time and he'd had it. I wanted to go with him, but she wouldn't allow it. It sucks we both had shitty parents," he says.

"I'm sorry that you had shitty parents too," I tell him.

"Don't be sorry, I'm not. Sure it screwed me up a little... okay a lot, but it's whatever. It's in the past and now I'm here and I'm happy here. Happier than I've been in a while. I did some stupid shit in Seattle. I hurt a lot of people, and was messed up twenty four seven. I started getting into a lot over there, but that's in the past too. Why don't we just promise ourselves something..." he starts.

He takes my hand in his and rubs gently on the top of my hand. I look up into his eyes and he's being serious.

"Let's start over, our past had a lot of shitty moments. Let's promise that no matter how shitty our family is to us we can try to not be shitty to each other," he says. "I know it's easier said than done, and I'm probably going to fuck up more times than I can count but I'd be willing to try for you," he says.

Guilt. It hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel like crying again. I don't though all I can do is nod, because there's no way I could agree to this out loud. Maybe nodding will make me feel less guilty when I am shitty to him. There's no way he's being serious right now, he can't be. This isn't the guy that broke hearts and got into trouble. He's not the guy that I set out to destroy, he's changing and with that change I'm having a hard time staying on track. Muffins, I need to bake muffins.

"Do you want muffins? I can make strawberry, blueberry, um... chocolate chip? I know we bought chocolate chips. There's so many I can make for you..."

"Faith..."

"I could do cupcakes too, oh rainbow... we bought sprinkles for ice cream right? I could totally make that..."

"Baby calm down," he says his hands on my shoulders.

There he goes using pet names again, he can't ... I can't. I'm not sure I can do this anymore. This is insane, what was I thinking? I need to bake something before I scream, please let me go. I stare down at our legs and how they are just barely touching. I shouldn't, but for some reason I want more I want them to be closer. I don't know if it's because I'm emotional over my family mess, but something makes me want say yes to him, out loud. I want to say, yes Jace I promise not to be shitty to you. How can I though? He's known for being shitty, right? I can't even think straight right now. His finger lifts my chin and I want to close my eyes, but I don't. He's concerned I can see it. He's trying with me, why is he trying with me? There were so many others he could have... he slams his lips against mine without permission. My brain registers a red alert, but my heart slamming in my chest is registering something else.

I push him down on the couch towering over him with my legs spread just below his middle. With wide eyes he pulls me down by my shirt and our lips crash together again. My body lowers on top of his and everything inside of me is screaming, HELP!