Oh god that would be a nightmare right? So much of my oneshot book has America and England in some sort of relationship. Either romantic, sexual, or platonic.

I do write UsUk, well UkUs to be exact. But what if I went back to my UsUk phase from when I was a month into the fandom...?

Hm...wouldn't that be strange-

[INSERT GENERIC TITLE]

Wait wait wait....what the fuck? How did we get here? Where am I? Is this...early 2020 wattpad? Oh look! That's when I had 2 followers...oh and I remember reading that!

Newsfeed is that you? But why am I here?

Huh...I'm now in create...

Oh fuck...oh fucking hell jesus...I feel all the ships being ripped away from me...Rusame, Japerica, that one CanUs smut I wrote, that other UkUs smut I wrote...

No...no no no...UkUs...!

Huh? I really like UsUk now.

Dang what else did I ship? Um...what was it? Uk.....uk....uk? Ah I forgot...

I have some sort of urge to write now...a usuk story!

OW! THAT HURT! Who are you?

Ha! I lived bitches! By the way I'm you in like...a couple of months.

Gasp! Profanity!

Oh shut up. Anyways don't write it. Don't fucking write it. I'm warning you.

Why shouldn't I? Wouldn't it help me in the future?

I mean if you want to write bottom bitch England then go right ahead. Though make sure it's just a oneshot because I have a bunch of ships that include bottom America and UkUs.

...what's that?

Oh well, bye my friend! I'm gonna go read BDSM porn with England and America again!

...what's BDSM? And what is porn? And why did she say again? And why did I look so...sad and tired...dang...I kinda don't wanna know.

Okay, let's start with the first chapter!

"America and England were-" OW!

Hey I'm back bitch. I'm taking over now.

I guess that's okay since you're obviously more into writing than me...

Oh goodie!

I feel like I made a mistake...

Chapter ?

So like, America is like, walking to school and meets up with his friends, Prussia and Denmark because fuck Japan am I right? And so Prussia has Canada on his shoulder because shy people are ALWAYS bottoms. And Denmark has Norway tugging on his tie and being downright mean but Denmark over here still likes him because tsunderes.

And so then America's eyes land on Iggy or England or whatever the fuck you wanna call him. His green eyes, his soft hair, his BIG ASS-

And so like, America gets a crush on him solely off of appearance and not his personality because his personality is shit.

(I already hate writing this)

And so like France invites everyone to a party and shit, and they all go because underage drinking YEAH!

And so America arrives to the sex festival that is the party. Aka grinding, drinking, humping, kissing, blatant fucking on the god damn table. And America doesn't leave cause he's already there lol.

And so France offers him a drink because seems like France and America are all buddy buddy. And so America gets drunk and then Iggy gets drunk and then they stumble into a room and start doing it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hur hur hur.

And then Iggy wake up the next morning with his bum hurting and a bunch of hickeys and he sees America next to him. Oh shit they fucked.

And then America gets up and then they start going out because they fucked and then Iggy gets pregnant and they have 5 billion kids. The end.

...what?

See? I don't write UsUk I only write UkUs. Have a couple of oneshots and a book dedicated to it because bottom America is more comfortable for me.

I didn't understand any of what you said.

Oh but you will sweety because I'm you! And you're me! Hey, why don't you read that fanfic over there that says UkUs?

Hm..? Ok I guess.

[One hour later]

I now like UkUs and bottom America.

Good! Looks like my job here is done. Oh! And read the America oneshot books, books that say Rusame, and go on a profile named SaltySea kk?

Ok...
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Hm....what a weird universe that would be....