(TW: ED, bulima, not being written correctly)

[Penvy]

[co-written with GorgingGeorge    ]

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Envy sighed, standing in front of the full body mirror in his bedroom that he shared with his lover, Pride. He was in his underwear examine his figure... his very flawed figure... Well, the Envy his body was flawed. His arms were kinda flabby, not to point of having bat wings, but it was noticeable. He started to sport a pot belly, which he himself was disgusted with.   And not to mention his thighs. "I shouldn't have eaten all that food just because it was winter..." he mumbled to himself.  

It was quite clear he indulged himself during the Christmas week with his family, eating half a turkey, two bowls full of mashed potatoes, a giant chocolate Christmas cake and who knows how many glasses of eggnog.  Not all in the same day mind you, but he has been eating a lot more than usual. Being a demon meant he didn't need to worry about any health risks, but it did take a huge toll on his self esteem.  Most of the time he was the thinnest of the sins, but now it looked as if he gained fifty pounds in such a short amount of time.  "Ooh.. I can't even fit into that nice suit Pride got for me last month."  

Envy started to think haphazardly. "If I can't fit in my suit I can't get married and Pride's going both laugh at me and be disgusted with me, and then he's going to leave me and then I'm going to be alone and then I'm gonna-"

"Envy, I'm home!" 

Shit, Pride's home. The purple haired sin had to go out for milk and some alcohol since they ran out on New Year's Eve. Envy could hair the sound of glass bottles clacking followed by swift footsteps up stairs. "Babey!!! Catch!" Pride shouted as he threw himself into Envy's arms. "Hey Pride." Envy said before getting a kiss from his partner. "So, what's for dinner for New Year's? I got some wine from the store so I think pork since it has something to do with prosperity-"

"You can eat whatever, I'm not hungry." Envy stated as he let go of his lover. His guilt of getting fat was starting to make him nauseous.   "Not hungry? But all you had for breakfast was a bowl of oatmeal, nothing but brown sugar in it. You sure you wouldn't want just some popcorn or maybe just a-"

"No no, it's fine really. I've had so much to eat for days now, I think I should be cutting back a little." Envy insisted, keeping a straight face in order to keep him from worrying. "You go knock yourself out, I'll just go out for a walk. I'll be back soon."  

"But babe-"

But without speaking, Envy just put on clothes and left. Pride sighed and cooked food for himself. Envy took a brisk walk. He looked around at the ads plastered all around. Displaying muscular men, having the time of their lives. He knew he shouldn't be comparing himself to something that is clearly fake, he couldn't help but feel how different, how flabby his body was to this happy person in the ad. "God, I need to quickly lose this stupid fat so I be better...." Envy thought. With this thought growing in his mind, he quickly sprinted home. 

The scent of freshly roasted meats with mashed yams, baby corn and the strong scent of wine hit his nose, but it only made him sick seeing how much was in the table. He knew the only way to lose weight was to calorie count, avoid anything that looked highly sugary and generally stick with sports drinks if he was ever feeling exhausted from a long day of work.

"Hey there Envy, you came back fast.. Umm... Is there something you need to talk about?"

"Huh? No I'm fine, well.. I'm not really feeling hungry today. Guess something made me lose my appetite."

"Lose your appetite? You're not sick or something are you? Lemme get the thermometer."

"No, no, I'm fine, I just on my walk I say a dead cat and it made me nauseous since, I hate death."

"Damn, I guess you're right... do you want some tea to feel better?"

"Sure, yeah, black tea sounds nice." Envy said, seeing how tea isn't a food item. Once the tea was brewed it was placed in front of the green haired. There was milk in it with what appeared to be three sugars in it.  

"Umm, I said black tea, but it's fine." He thought, taking a small sip. "Mm.. He's a better cook than Gluttony even, but I can't think about food now, not when I need to shed these pounds..."

Pride felt that something must have been up, he noticed Envy rushing upstairs once his tea was only halfway done. "Weird.. Must be having some kind of stomach bug." He thought as he finished the tea. "I should make note of this."

Envy sighed as he looked at the mirror. "How truly sad... And pathetic." His reflection started to speak. "Huh? No you're supposed to be dead..." 

"Well guess who's back. You truly are such a dumb fat fuck that you forgot how easily I come back." The reflection stated as it started to cackle. "Yeah... I know..." Envy stated softly as he went to the bathroom.

"With how you keep acting you shouldn't be surprised to see me again! Heehee, I guess someone has really let himself go right Tubbo?"

"Sh-shut up! It's nothing I can't handle.. I can lose this no problem, you'll see! I'm not some pathetic fatty, I'll have the perfect body for Pride to enjoy in no time.. He won't need to deal with how ugly I got soon.."

"That's going to take forever since you're such a fatass." The reflection stated. "Maybe if you starve, there might be some progress." 

 "St...Starve? I guess... I guess I'll do it... for him...". Envy said as he went into the shower. He felt his body as he cleaned himself, feeling every flab of fat. "Disgusting..." he muttered as he grabbed his arms. He hated this, he hated his body, he hated everything about it.  "Urrgh, might as well try doing a few rounds on the treadmill. No use not eating if I'm not trying to make some use of my muscles.." He thought, looking over at the exercise equipment Wrath bought for them at Christmas.  However it didn't go unnoticed, as Pride heard him running upstairs. "I wonder what's gotten into him.. Maybe our siblings up in heaven know."

Just then, he got a text from Kindness which read "Dear Pride, I was wondering how my brother is doing, he gets a bit... how would I say this... emotional after family gatherings. I'm unsure as of why but I wanted to make sure he okay. Signed, Kindness."

"Emotional? What does he mean by that?" Pride asked himself not understanding what he meant. He just shrugged it off and replied "He's fine, I guess. He hasn't really eaten anything but that was because he say a corpse. Idk what to tell you."

"Saw a corpse? But there was one time he crushed a horse fly during Thanksgiving and that didn't deter his appetite one bit... Then again, horse flies don't really leave corpses... But still, I think you better go and check on him, just in case there's something on his mind.. Has he eaten anything since he got back?"

"Just some tea, and not even a whole cup. But don't worry Kindness, I'll find out if there is anything wrong and text you back as soon as I get an answer. I'm sure it's nothing too serious, trust me on this."

"Okay, I'll trust you, since you probably know him best." Kindness texted. Pride decided to go upstairs to check on his boyfriend to see what's wrong. "Hey baby." He said, but Envy had his air pods in so he couldn't hear him. Pride tried to get his attention again, but to no response. "ENVY!!!" He shouted, which finally caused the green haired sin to notice Pride. "Oh hey, Pride. Why are you here?" Envy asked. 

"Well Kindness gave me a text, they're really worried about you. You haven't been eating much at family gatherings either have you?"

"...What are you talking about? Of course I've been! I.. I had so much to eat it could last me all month long!" He squeaked, trying to come with excuses to not have any more to eat.  "Envy.. I know you're hiding something."

"I'm not, why would I hide anything from you? What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did."

"Alright, then why you going on the treadmill after you took a shower?" Pride asked. "I thought you weren't very athletic-"

"Well I wanted to change that, heh, new year new me right?" Envy explained. "Hmm... I guess, well, as long as you aren't hurting yourself then okay. Though it seem dumb to shower before getting sweaty but you do you bae." Pride smiled like the himbo he was. 

"Yeah, umm I won't need you to make me any breakfast tomorrow. I gotta have nothing but protein bars and electrolyte drinks to keep myself fit for my resolution." Envy added, sighing in relief that he wasn't caught.  "Alright, but if you ever get hungry you better come and tell me that. I'll be making you the biggest feast one had ever seen! You look like you lost a few kilos already."

"I.. I have?"

"Definitely!" Pride stated as he hugged his partner. "And it feels like it too."

Envy smiled softly as he was both complemented and hugged. "I, Uh..."

Before envy could finish his bad thought reflection came in. "He's only doing this out of pity." It spoke, dead seriously. Envy's smile slightly disappeared as he cleared his throat. "Well better keep at it then." Envy said as Pride let go. 

Once he was out of the room, he started wondering whether or not Pride meant what he said. "I already lost weight so fast?.. No it couldn't be, my conscience said I'm a worthless piece of shit  who can't do anything right, not even lose weight.. He must have been faking it.. He must have saw through my excuses somehow.."

He couldn't think for long, as the exhaustion from all the exercise and the lack of nutrients in his system begun to take a toll, lulling him to sleep. "I.. I'll see him in the morning.."

Envy stood up and stretched before going to take another shower since he couldn't go to bed smelling bad, the scent could get into the sheets. He looked down and saw that his body hasn't changed in the slightest, in fact it looked even fatter. "What? How!? I spent all that time exercising and it did nothing...."

"Well you clearly didn't try hard enough." His reflection remarked, sounding angry. "I was doing the best I coul-"

"We'll try harder! Or are such a lardass that you can't even make it without all that shit you eat." Envy looked down in shame as he was belittled by himself. 

"I.. I can't understand this.. I do all this work and get nothing in return, but that can't be! Pride said I did lose weight and felt like it too.."

"Well he's wrong! He doesn't know a damn thing about what's going on, he's only saying that to make you feel better." His reflection retorted, pointing to his distend gut. "You got a beer belly here that you gotta shed and how!"

"But how?. It'll take forever to get it done.."

"Hmm, there is a way. You could always get a liposuction."

"But those are expensive... Pride would see it in our taxes..." 

"Well... a suggestion for your cheap fat ass, eat ice. And when you eat any actual food you just vomit it up." His reflection retorted. "I guess." 

 What envy didn't know, was that he was losing weight, it's just that his mind was making him see himself as fat. This is known as BDD, also known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  

Sighing to himself, he sulked off to bed, hoping that tomorrow would be much better. "I need to lose this blubber, or else Pride would think of me as ugly.." He thought as he dozed away.  Meanwhile the purple haired sin was busy making sure there was enough food for breakfast tomorrow.

"Alright so Envy said not to cook for him tomorrow but... I going to do it anyway. " Pride said to himself as he started to make food for tomorrow since it was his turn to do it. As he started to boil Gatorade, he started to think. "Why does he want to be fit now? Envy didn't do this last year. Then again he wasn't with his family last year... maybe it's them." Pride thought aloud as he made homemade granola for Envy since that's a thing healthy people eat.

"Ah, I think I hear him coming down the steps now. Hopefully he'll have some of his appetite back by now." Pride thought as he saw Envy slowly stumbling his way to the breakfast table. "I didn't know how hungry you would be today so I just made some oatmeal, granola with yogurt and a nice tall glass of Gatorade."

"Umm... Thanks.." He didn't want to eat, but he knew it would be rude to refuse.

"No problem." Pride said, beaming. Envy sat down at the table, staring at the food in front of him. He decided to just drink some the boiled Gatorade. "W... Why is the Gatorade warm?"

"Don't you boil it? I thought that's how the electrolytes are activated." Pride stated as he cleaned the dishes. "You're not supposed to... but it's fine." Envy said as he drank the Gatorade. He looked at the food, frowning softly.

"Is something wrong? Oh, it's probably not enough! You must be starving from last night, here I'll go and see if that low carb bread is ready now." Pride remarked, rushing back into the kitchen. 

"He really wants me to eat.. But I can't or else I'm gonna end up even fatter than before.." Envy thought, poking at the granola with his spoon. "Just one spoonful, then nothing else for the rest of the day.."

His reflection appeared in his spoon. "One spoonful will lead to many more, I already told you about vomiting, if you don't let it digest you could just vomit all up and maybe you could stop being such a fatty." The reflection said. He sighed, knowing his gag reflex was weak. "Okay."

With that, Envy quickly started to eat the yogurt.

However it didn't go unnoticed by his boyfriend who had returned with his own breakfast. "Ah! Envy you know what happens when you eat too quickly, you'll wind up swallowing air and then you'll be burping all over the place." He warned.

But Envy didn't stop, thinking that if he slows down for even a second it could lead to him digesting what he had eaten.  He finished it. "Mmm That was delicious. But I have to go to the bathroom..." 

 "Wait-"

Envy excused himself before rushing to the bathroom and locking the door before falling to his knees, putting his finer in his mouth and hitting his uvula until all he ate, even the warm Gatorade. It hurt when the boiled Gatorade came up.  "Envy you better open this door right now!" Pride snapped, wriggling the doorknob. "What are you doing in there? You're vomiting up in there? That's it I'm calling the hospital!"

"No wait-"

In his rush, Envy slipped on some spat up sports drink in an attempt to chase after his boyfriend. "It's nothing.. I'm fine.." He gasped, realizing that he started to draw blood from his mouth from falling and cutting the inside of his mouth.    Pride burst through the locked door and saw boyfriend bleeding. "What the fuck!?" The purplenette shouted. "I-"

"There's no time we have to get you to the hospital now!" Pride stated loudly as he picked up the bleeding envy. "if this stomach bug is causing you to vomit, then we have to go to the doctors." He said as he started running, carrying the greenette bridal style, not fully understanding the situation.