Matt's open red and black checkered flannel drowns my body as I jump out of the van, and  I'm thankful he let me borrow it – I didn't have any other jacket than the denim one and it's way too warm to wear that, so Matt let me raid his closet after admitting I felt a tad self-conscious. It somewhat crept up on me as we were getting ready to leave, but it was a quick fix.

"Babe, I'm so excited for this." Hanna says, looping her arm in mine and I smile, taking in her outfit. She's wearing a chunky choker that has a metal hoop in the middle, a massive graphic t-shirt and fishnets, her Doc's to go with the ensemble.

"We look great." I say, and she nods with a wide grin.

"Girls, do not leave me." Lauren rushes up to us, her outfit of the day being leggings and a grey hoodie which has me questioning if she's boiling under there.

"Are you not warm?" I ask.

"Yeah, but all my clothes, they, um, they kinda don't fit me, I need to go on a diet." She rolls her eyes, and I immediately shake my head.

"You're perfect just the way you are." I assure her.

"Yeah, don't do something you don't want to do." Hanna says.

"I know I could always buy more clothes, but I love the clothes I have already." Lauren says, and I mean, she does have a point. "And I need to start the gym anyway, all I do is lay about, party and eat. It's not exactly healthy."

"Meh, it's college." Hanna excuses.

"If you really want to, you can always come to Felix and Ethan's gym, it's getting more popular." I suggest, liking the idea of us working out together when Ethan's busy.

"I'll think about it." Lauren gives me a smile.

"Come on girls, this way." Felix points over to the entry sign above a massive archway, the fair alive and wild on the other side. I'm so excited to be here, I'm ready for the fun to begin.

We join the guys over at the ticket stand, and after a few minutes, Felix passes us all an neon pink wrist band, and I look at Ethan defeated.

"Pass me." Ethan rolls his eyes, and I smile as he wraps the band around my wrist, taking the sticker cover off. "Not too tight?"

"Perfect, thank you." I say.

"Hanna, pass me your hand." He offers, seeing her struggle and she smiles as he takes her wrist, wrapping the band around it. "That okay for you?"

"Yeah, thanks." Hanna says with a nod.

Ethan turns to Lauren, but Felix is already helping her out, and she has a smile on her face which is always good news.

"What are we doing first?" I question, taking in the fairground.

There's stalls, carnival games, rides – the loud music is consuming my ears, and for once I don't mind the music. Sure, rock would be nice, but the sixties Motown songs sure fits the place. Kids are running all over the place, dragging their parents along with them, there's also many teenagers, local college kids that have come here to enjoy the weather doing something fun.

"I'm a little bit hungry, so can we get some lunch?" Lauren suggests, and I nod because same, I didn't exactly have any breakfast this morning, and it's after one now. It was around eleven when I went downstairs, but once we found out what we were doing today, we sat around and discussed the plans for the remainder of the weekend, and then had to wait around for my medication, so we didn't leave straight away and time has eventually caught up to us.

"Yeah, I'm sure there's burgers or something around here." Felix tells her.

Burgers sound so good right now, I can't really pinpoint the last time I had one, but as soon as my mouth waters thinking about it, I see a little girl with a massive slice of pizza and my mind quickly changes as an overwhelming craving for some showers over me. I know I ate pizza last night and the night before, but that looks almost too good. Could I have both?

"You can have a bite of mine, I'm getting pizza." Ethan offers and I smile. It's cute that he still notices how my attention changes with different things.

"Really?" I ask and he nods. "Thank you."

Much to my pure delight, we find the food trucks around the corner, and surprisingly, I don't chose burgers or pizza. As we were waiting to order, I made the quick decision to have a chicken wrap – I'm still not feeling all too great with my hangover, and the smell of chicken really won me over. I'm indecisive, I know.

"This is so good." Felix says, pointing to his burger with a mouthful.

"Yep, I can only agree." Matt says since he has the same thing; same sauce, same amount of salad and everything.

"You're really missing out of this." I say once my mouth is empty, directing my comment to everyone since I'm the only one who has the chicken.

"Lemme have a bite." Ethan turns to me with a playful pout.

"You have a massive mouth, you'll most likely eat it all." I say, knowing him all too well.

"Please, this pizza is really fucking good." He boasts, holding out the pizza.

"Fine." I roll my eyes as I take the tray from him, and he grabs the wrap. I only had one bite of it and he already took it away. Poor thing.

Keeping up to the rest of the group, I take a bite of his pizza, a little weary of what toppings he got since I can't tell; there's a lot of cheese, but as soon as the warm fruit hits my tongue, I stop in my tracks. Ethan purses his lips in amusement, and I whine, needing to spit this out before I throw up, the texture is disgusting. I can't believe I didn't hear him order pineapple on his stupid pizza.

"Ethan, napkin." I demand as best as I can, and he shakes his head at me as he takes a massive bite out of my wrap. This bitch.

Looking around, I spot a garbage bin to me right, so I rush over to it, and finally spit out the contents in my mouth, grimacing at the leftover taste. I can't believe he did that... actually, I really fucking can.

"You're a fucking asshole." I mutter, grabbing my wrap back off him, exchanging it for his ugly ass pizza.

"It's good." He continues to persuade me of the untrue statement.

"No. It's not. I need mouthwash." I take a bite of the wrap instead, needing something better on my taste buds.

"You're just being dramatic." He comments, and I fight the urge to kick him in the ass because I so badly want to.

"Who's being dramatic?" Matt asks, turning back to see us.

"He didn't tell me there was pineapple on his stupid pizza, and he ate my wrap, knowing I'd hate his." I don't care that I sound like a child, it's simply not fair.

"Aww babe, leave him to his demonic topping." He says and I stifle a laugh by taking another bite of my wrap.

"I wanna go on that." Felix points at the- wait what? He's pointing at the carousel, you know the one with the horses on? Surely not.

"Such a child." Ethan mutters under his breath.

"Please. I'm not going on it alone." Felix begs, and I try to hide my laugh because this is too funny and I don't want to offend him. Felix – a full grown twenty-one year old, tatted up to the max with facial piercings wants to go on a kids ride. Now this, this is something I'd pay to see, but to my joy, it's happening right in front of me for free.

"I'll go, it looks fun." Hanna shrugs carelessly and Felix high five's her.

"Yeah, fuck it, let's act like children." Matt laughs.

"This is what I'm talking about! Now, come on, I know you want to." Felix pleads with Ethan, myself and Lauren.

"Ugh fine." I give in – I never got to go on one of these as a child because of my motion sickness, so I guess I should take this opportunity now that I'm medicated.

"I'm, like, finishing my food first though, and if I throw up, it's on you." Lauren says, and I smile, loving that she actually caved.

"I take all the blame, baby, I'll even hold your hair back." Felix says, and my heart feels like it'll physically melt at the two. Usually I hate couples, but there's something between the two that makes me love them even though right now they're not even together. "Now, come on Ethan, don't be the granny holding everyone's belongings."

"Fuck's sake. You owe me for this one, dude." Ethan grumbles, taking the last bite of his disgusting pizza, wiping his hands on the napkin. Told you he had a big mouth.

"I'm going on the pink one." Lauren says, and I just stare at my friends. I couldn't ask for a better group in all honesty, but God, they're a crazy bunch. I love them all though, and they have a very special place in my heart.

After patiently letting everyone finish their food and giving us a few minutes to digest it, Felix drags us over to the massive carousel. The line is dead quiet, aside from one little boy who's standing with his mommy which speaks louder than any words could – we're literal big babies, lining up for a child's ride.

But, I haven't stopped smiling since I woke up, and I sense that today, my happiness is far from over.

In the past I've always been very pessimistic when it comes to positive feelings, but right now, I'm just taking in the happiness. For once, I don't feel on edge of the repercussions of it. I'm truly embracing it.

The woman that's monitoring and working the ride, looks at us all skeptically before shrugging her shoulders, letting us pass. Hanna takes my hand in hers, and I gesture my head for Ethan to follow when we start to walk up the few steps up to the horses. I can't believe we're doing this.

"I'll go grey." I say, patting the head of the grey fake horse. I'm secretly fucking loving this, even though I am a little nervous.

Hanna takes the white one next to me, closest to the outside, and Ethan picks the black one, also next to me, but nearest to the middle. Matt, Felix and Lauren have taken the horses on the other side because there's a pink one over there apparently.

"Well, I've sat on softer cocks than this." Hanna comments, wiggling slightly, and I whack her shoulder, aware of the kid a few horses in front of us.

"Fuck my life." Ethan laughs, leaning his arms forward on the horse's head, ducking his head down. "I'm not with you guys."

"Wow, Frankie, look at the loner next to you. He looks a little too old to be on this ride, don't you think?" Hanna teases, and I splutter out a laugh.

"You're older than me." He comments, lifting up only to say that. I mean, she technically is.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm merely eighteen." She shrugs.

"You- yeah, you could pass for eighteen if you had to." He admits defeated.

Their playful banter is cut off when the woman tells us 'to hold on tight' and once the ride starts, Ethan nearly falls off from not doing as he was told and I can only laugh at him disbelief. My cheeks sore from my smiling so much. Never would I believe that we would all be here, on a fucking carousel.

"Ethan, hold the handle, it's quite simple." I giggle, watching him scowl at the fake horse.

"Huh, why did I think this would go faster?" Hanna mutters, her horse going up as mine goes down.

"Because you're so used to fast sex? I don't know." Ethan mumbles, and I wipe the tears of laughter cascading down my cheeks. I hate, but love my friends so much.

"Fuck you. With your ego, I bet you last about a minute." Hanna retorts, and I suck on my bottom lip, choosing to step out of this round of bickering.

"Francesca, prove her wrong for me." Ethan looks hopeful, and I whine.

"We're on a ride with children!" I point out since I seem to be the only one remembering the fact.

"See, Frankie agrees with me, she just doesn't want to tell you. I bet she's been faking her orgasms the whole time with you." Hanna teases, making my eyes widen at her aggravating words towards Ethan. Again, I love my friends, but there's a time and place.

"Oh my god." I mutter under my breath.

This is not happening. I refuse. Why hasn't this ride ended yet? It seems to be running forever.

"Babe-" Ethan starts.

"So, it's babe now? Huh, I was wondering why I didn't see you in your room this morning." She says to me, and my heart stops at her words. Now, that's Felix and Hanna who know I slept with Ethan last night. I hate that it was totally harmless, yet they think otherwise... well, aside from the heated kiss.

"I'm going to kill her, I swear." Ethan mumbles.

"Don't be so mad at me, I'm still pissed that you broke my friend's heart." Hanna says, and I can only smile at her protectiveness even though sometimes it is a little over the top.

"We're supposed to be having fun!" I cheer, trying to liven it up and Hanna glares at me.

"Let's go back to the topic of Ethan being shit in bed." Hanna says, eager to tease him and I groan, defeated. "Do you disappoint every one of your suitors? Or is it just my bestie Frankie?"

"I-"

"We're on a ride at the fair with children." I attempt to stop the endless teasing. This isn't happening. I refuse for this conversation to be happening.

"You've never once proved me wrong, he really is bad in bed." She continues, smirking over at him.

"No, he's not! He gives me the best orgasms I've ever had." I finally crack, my voice louder than expected, and I immediately cover my mouth in shock. The woman with the little boy, who has probably listened to this whole conversation, finally turns around and gives me the deadliest look I've ever seen. "Oh my God."

"Hehe." Hanna giggles.

"Best ever?" Ethan asks with a smirk, acting like he didn't already know that.

"Oh for fuck's sake, get us off this ride, now." I duck my head down between my arms that are draped over the horse, hiding my face from them both.

"This would be fun if we were high." Hanna randomly says.

"Are you high?" I question seriously.

"No, sadly." She sighs.

I fucking love my friends, but God, they can be a pain in the ass.

Once the ride finally is over, we don't waste another second before getting off, and Felix skips away, heading straight for the cotton candy stand opposite.

"You looked like you were having fun." Matt hooks his arm around mine.

"Oh, so much fun." I say sarcastically with a groan.

"Huh, 'best orgasms ever'." He mumbles, taking in the new information, and I stop in my tracks at his words.

"For fuck's sake." I mutter, covering my blushing cheeks. "I hate them so much."

"Come on, let's get you some cotton candy, what color do you want?" He asks, changing the conversation which I'm incredibly grateful for.

"I think I'm going to chose blue for once." I answer, reaching for my phone that holds my money in the case.

"No, it's my treat." He stops me, shaking his head.

"Thank you, but you really don't have to." I look up at him with a smile.

"Let me treat you." He insists.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. Thank you." I gush, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

"All this over cotton candy, what happens when I buy you a car?" He laughs, and I stop yet again, looking up at him. "I'm joking, God. I mean, if you want a new car, I can get you one."

"You're not buying me a new car." I refuse, hating when they buy me something small like food. I mean, I'm very grateful though.

"It is your birthday soon." He shrugs with a cheeky smile.

"Yours is sooner." I point out, and he smiles in response. "But, if you get me a car for my birthday, I will punch you."

"Fine, I won't get you a car." He holds his hands up in defense, and I giggle with a nod.

I pull him over to the cotton candy stand to join the rest of the gang, since we're behind – the results of our slow walking, and Ethan discreetly snakes his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him in the line.

"You give me the best ever too." Ethan whispers in my ear and I pull back to look up at him.

I'm still confused after last night, and with all these intimate moments with him, it's making my decision more and more tricky. I love him, fuck, I'm so in love with him, and I can't hurt him, I won't, but I can't hurt myself either. I don't know what to do and it's so fucking infuriating.

"Do you want uh-" I clear my throat, hating how awkward I feel around him. "Are you getting some cotton candy with us?"

"Hmm, I'm getting a mix of both." He nods with a grin. "What about you?"

"Matt's buying me a stick of blue." I say with a happy smile.

"He's good to you." He comments and I nod, really fortunate of the fact.

"He is. I don't deserve him." I whisper.

"You deserve everyone in your life, Francesca, don't think otherwise." He gives me a little reassuring smile, and his attention taken from me when he needs to order.

"Here you go, missy." Matt hands me a massive stick of blue cotton candy.

"Thank you, this looks amazing." I take it from him, not wasting a second to taste it.

Cotton candy is weird... like it just dissolves? Where the fuck does it go?

It's worth every bite though because it's just like eating sugary clouds, and even though it doesn't fill me up at all, it leaves a beautiful taste on my tongue, and after Ethan's trickery with the pineapple on the pizza, I kind of need this.

"What are we going on next?" Felix rushes like a little kid – did he have like ten energy drinks before we came here?

"Wanna go on a rollercoaster?" Hanna suggests.

"There's a rollercoaster?" I question, confused because I really can't see one. There's several rides; large, small, fast, slower, but no rollercoasters of what I can see.

"Like a bumble bee one, I just saw a baby come off it." She says, eating the last of her cotton candy, and I laugh. Child. Actual child.

"No. No more kids rides, this is ridiculous." Ethan speaks and I roll my eyes. He's such a party pooper.

"I wanna go on that!" Felix points at a ride that has me quite intrigued – The Cyclone. I love any kind of rides; big rides, small rides, rollercoasters – they feed me the adrenaline I crave and need.

"No, oh my God." Lauren is quick to refuse, and I giggle, not surprised that she's the total opposite of me.

"Yeah, I'm sitting that out. I don't fancy throwing up today." Matt agrees with Lauren.

"Well, I'll come on with you. It looks fun." I say with a shrug, and Felix's face washes with pure joy before he throws his arms around me.

"Hey, I'm coming with, too! That looks cool." Hanna says.

"Yes!" Felix cheers to himself, and he looks over at Ethan with a shit-eating grin. "Come on, I know you want to."

"Ugh, fine." Ethan gives no attempt to fight him on this, so I'm going to go on a hunch that he wanted to anyway.

The ride itself looks really fun – it has three claw type arms, holding four double seats that spin as it goes around. If I didn't take my medication, I'd be sitting this out with Lauren and Matt, but thankfully I have because I'm hyped to go on this.

"Who's sitting with who, or are we going separate?" Felix asks.

"I'm sticking with Frankie." Hanna immediately blurts out, and I'm thankful because I don't exactly want to go alone.

"I'm not sitting next to you." Ethan says to Felix, who scoffs in response, putting his hand on his heart.

"You wound me." Felix turns his head dramatically.

"Have fun, we'll be having a walk around." Matt tells us, and I nod as Lauren gives me a little smile.

"Ah, I'm so excited for this." Hanna enthuses.

"Me too. I'm surprised you like rides." I comment.

"Like? I fucking love them." She smiles at me.

Following the guys in front of us, my nerves dilute with my excitement. I love rides, but I hope my mind doesn't panic or get triggered because of the accident, that's the only thing I'm nervous about. I don't think it will, and I hope it won't – that's the last thing I need right now. I am excited though, I need this safe hit of adrenaline.

"Four?" The man that's in charge of this ride asks as we approach the gate. I'm thankful there's not a line to this.

"Yeah please." Felix gives him a polite nod.

"Okay, take the seats of your fancy." The nice man gives us all a smile.

"Have fun girls." Ethan chuckles, and Hanna squeals grabbing my arm as we brace the steps.

I take the first seat, Hanna getting in the one closest to the outside, and as the man secures the bar over us, I turn my head back, seeing Ethan in the seat behind, next to Felix, and he rolls his eyes with a smile. I mouth 'shut up, you love him' to him, and he shakes his head response.

"I'm so fucking excited, are you ready for this?" Hanna turns to me.

"More than you think." I nod.

A few more people get on, and I kick my legs out slightly as they dangle, waiting not so patiently. I just want to go now.

"I know I was being a bit of a teasing prick back there, but I know he's good to you." Hanna says, and I look at her in surprise, not expecting those words to come out of her mouth. "I just love you; you're one of my best friends, and it hurt to watch you go through heartbreak twice because of him. I know he loves you though, it's very clear. I'm not exactly one to drop things so easily, but I'm easing up to him again, I guess."

"I know your intentions are good, they always are, but as I said to Matt, it wasn't his fault we broke up, it was all mine. No one but us knows what happened and under what circumstances. I hate that people immediately jumped to him, he was broken too." I say, picking at my bare nails. I need to get acrylics, they're the only thing that stops me from biting and picking at them.

"What happened then?" She asks with a frown.

"It doesn't matter what happened, I just wasn't mentally well enough to be with him. This break isn't long-term though, we will get together again, maybe sooner than I thought." I mumble, my mind still confused with what I'm going to do.

"I owe the guy a massive apology it seems." She mutters with a guilty look on her face.

"He knows you mean no harm. Not really." I tap her leg to comfort her.

"Are you okay now? I mean, what's happening between you two? I came to check if you had toothpaste this morning and you weren't there." She says, and I sigh, running my hand over my face.

"We kissed. It didn't go any further than that. I fell asleep and woke up in his bed. That's all she wrote." I chuckle.

"You kissed though, that's good, right?" She says in enthusiastic voice, yet still keeping her tone quiet enough for just us to hear.

"Yeah, I mean, it was great and I've missed him so much, but now I'm more confused than ever. I want to be with him, he wants to be with me. I'm just scared." I admit.

"You'll figure it out, Frankie, you always do." She tells me with a smile, and I nod, more to myself than anything.

The man that's in charge of the ride comes back around, tests the bar of our seats before stepping off, and Hanna squeals, shifting a bit with excitement.

"Hold my hand if you get scared." She teases.

"Oh shut the fuck up." I roll my eyes.

The ride starts with us going backwards, only that's for a few seconds while we start to spin and the ride goes in an anti-clockwise direction. Hanna grips my hand like the biggest hypocrite she is, but I think this is more in excitement since it's not going fast yet.

The last time I were on a ride of any sort, I was sat beside my mom on a rollercoaster above water and my new wedges fell off when we went upside down, so my dad had to carry me on his back for the remainder of the day. Times like these when I remember the past, it's bittersweet – I had such a great childhood with my parents, but because things are so different now, it's hard to really imagine life used to be like that. I loved my dad, I still do, but I despise him so much as well.

My mom was my partner in crime, she was always getting into mischief with me, and we never really said no to opportunities when they came to us. We went on the biggest rides in the theme parks. We swam with sharks. We went zip wiring off a cliff. We skinny dipped on a naked beach. We would sing Queen on Karaoke at three AM when dad was away at work. My mom was truly my best friend.

This one's for you mom, you would've loved this ride.

"This is so fun, Lauren and Matt are missing out!" Hanna yells and I laugh, nodding to silently agree with her.

I really do think we should have thought more about the name of this thing before getting on it though. The Cyclone. Our hair is quite literally everywhere with the wind whipping around us, and once the ride gets faster, the wind picks up further.

I should have put my hair up.

Hanna's hand is still gripped in mine and she raises our bound hands in the air when it goes faster, and we both scream at the same time when it spins the opposite way. My adrenaline is pumping through my vein's, and my cheeks are hurting from smiling so much.

The ride starts to eventually slow down and I whine, wanting more.

I'm a whore for rides, sue me. 

"That was so good!" I slap her leg and she laughs, lying her head on my shoulder as we wait for the man to lift the bar to let us out.

"You have fun?" I turn around at the voice of Ethan, and I nod with a wide smile.

"Did you?" I ask.

"Oh, such a blast." He says sarcastically, throwing daggers at Felix next to him. "He whacked me in the nose."

"Just a warm up for next weekend, babe." I smile, hiding the laugh that I want to let out. I'm not at all surprised Felix whacked him, he most definitely did it on purpose, I already know.

"Oh yeah, you have your first match!" Felix slaps him on the shoulder, and Ethan bites down on his lip, restraining his anger before turning to him.

"Stop fucking doing that." He grits out.

"Ugh, you need to get laid." Felix rolls his eyes as he speaks which is my cue to turn back around – a blush evidently appearing on my cheeks.

"He has his first match?" Hanna asks me.

"Yep, do you wanna come with? I'm sure Ethan wouldn't mind." I say, knowing he'd actually prefer the extra support. He's told me in the past how he likes people watching him, it feeds his ego and motivation, and he also once said he'd like if everyone came one day.

"Well, it's not like we have plans. It'd be nice to go out as a group again." She says with a smile. "I'm loving this weekend so far, I'm seeing sides of both Ethan and Felix that I've never seen before. Felix is fucking crazy, there's no other words to describe him, but he's also very chill, like this morning we just sat on the sofa drinking coffee, and we had a chat. And Ethan, well he's a softie under the hard shell, ain't he?"

"Don't let him hear you say that!" I whisper yell, giggling. "But yeah, definitely a softie."

The nice man lifts the bar up, and with slight shaky legs, I jump down and Hanna grabs onto my arm as she gets used to the floor again. We don't exactly wait for the boys since we thought they were already free, so we have to wait at the gate for a minute or so before they're joining us, and Felix has his sweaty arms wrapped around me.

"Felix!" I scream when he picks me up, slinging me over his shoulder. "Put me down before Ethan kills you."

I look up, seeing Ethan not looking exactly impressed with him, and before I know it, Felix is running off with me on his shoulder.

"Felix Jasper Campbell!" I yell, pulling out the full name, only for him to laugh at me.

Giving up, I let him do what he wants because at least this way, I'm not walking. After a minute or so, he stops and laughter fills my ears before I'm getting planted on the ground.

"Oh, hi." I greet Lauren and Matt, moving my hair out of my face. I give them a small short-lived smile before glaring up at Felix. "You're as worse as Ethan."

"Meh." Felix shrugs.

"Have fun?" Matt asks with raised brows and an amused look.

"So much. Well, before this prick picked me up and kidnapped me. What about you?" I take notice that they're shooting metal targets with water pistols right now.

"We're trying to win that little blue teddy bear for the little one." He says, and Lauren gives me a small smile.

"Pass me, I know how to shoot." I offer, holding out my hand.

"How?" Matt frowns at me.

"My father, we used to go to a gun range whenever I got into trouble. It was a bonding experience – my parent's, they didn't praise what I used to do, but they didn't exactly have extreme punishments either. They used to ground me, but most of that time I'd be with them, doing something. My dad used to take me to a gun range where we'd shoot targets while discussing my wrong doings. It was very intellectual." I muse my words, smiling at them. "Now pass me the water gun, I'll win that bear for you, Laur."

The plastic green gun is very light as expected and obviously has no bullets in, but I still know how to aim the thing at a target. With this game, it's more about water pressure than aim though.

"I will shoot anyone with water who distracts me." I warn before they do exactly that.

After taking quite a while, purposely annoying the fuck out of everyone, I shoot the target down on the first try, and I put the gun down before I turn around to the three of them with a smug grin.

"Ah thank you!" Lauren wraps her arms around me.

"You are so welcome, now pick your bear." I say with a smile.

"Finally found you guys!" Hanna yells as she approaches us from the opposite way Felix and I came. "I can't believe you left me with your boyfriend."

"He's not my-" I'm about to correct her.

"Look what Frankie won me!" Lauren holds up the little bear – it is nice to be fair. It's a beautiful baby blue color, small yet big enough to fit in both of her hands, and is very cute.

"Where?" Ethan asks with a laugh.

"Target thing. Pretty simple." I shrug, only for Matt to roll his eyes at my nonchalant behavior.

"It's cute." Hanna comments, giving Lauren a genuine smile.

For the next hour or so we walk around the fair, playing several games, hopping on a couple rides, buying snacks that we weren't even hungry for, and most of all, having countless fun.

This has to be one of the best days of my life, I've absolutely loved it. For the first time in a whole year, I've felt like the old me. No worries, just pure happiness.

"Me and Francesca want to do something before we leave, is that okay with you all?" Ethan asks, and I frown in confusion.

"Yeah, of course." Matt says, everyone nodding in agreement. "We all kinda want to see the bouncy houses, so we'll be over in that direction if you need to find us."

"You have your phone right?" I check.

"Yep, mine's on." Hanna says.

"Mine too." Felix says.

"Okay, well, I guess we'll see you soon." I say, giving them a smile before they begin to walk off. I look up at Ethan in curiosity. "Where and what are we doing?"

"You'll see. Follow my lead." Ethan holds out his hand, and I cautiously take it as we begin to walk in the opposite direction to our friends.

Almost immediately, I guess exactly where he's taking me. The beautiful red and blue lit up Ferris Wheel is in the exact direction we're heading, and I grip Ethan's hand tighter by a little bit, making him turn towards me.

"Seriously?" I whisper, and he nod with a smile. "It's massive."

"Well... you are the expert at handling massive." He teases, and I roll my eyes at his immature behavior. He can't be normal for one second. Not one. "Now, come on, I've wanted to go on this with you since we pulled up in the parking lot."

"I've never been on one before." I reveal randomly.

"Me neither, always sat them out when we came." He says, and I would be lying if I said I didn't expect that because I kind of did. "But, we can do this together, yeah?"

"Yeah. Together." I give him a tight-lipped smile.

Grasping his hand tighter, we approach the Wheel, it's height being very intimidating but not enough to scare me. While I'm quite chill and relaxed, I do sense some nervousness from Ethan but I don't comment on it, at least not right now. His hand doesn't seem to want to let go of mine anytime soon, and I don't want him too. But I do find it cute that my boxer is a teensy bit scared of heights.

Whereas all the rides we've wanted to go on today, we didn't need to line up or there weren't much of a wait, there is one to this which doesn't really surprise me. It's the biggest thing at the fair.

After five minutes or so, we finally get in our seats and Ethan's hand moves from mine to the base of my thigh, something that doesn't just comfort me but also him.

"Look over here." Ethan says, and I look in his direction to see him pointing at the ocean. It's a beautiful turquoise blue, and I smile, lying my head on his shoulder as I take in the view.

"It's beautiful." I say.

"Yeah." He agrees in a soft tone and I look up to see him smiling down at me. "You are."

Butterflies flutter through me, my cheeks heating up at his forwardness. I don't really know how to handle compliments, I never have being able to, I always say the wrong thing as my reply from them. It's also the fact that Ethan is... well, he's Ethan, and I don't know how to deal with him, period.

"We haven't been able to have five seconds alone today." He says, squeezing my leg slightly as we get higher. "I've missed you."

"I miss you when I'm with you, Ethan. Close isn't ever close enough with us." I admit, and he looks down at me with a surprised look but he quickly covers it up with a smile. I take a deep breath, looking out at the view before continuing what I want to say. "I want to tell my friends everything before we get together. I won't be able to rely on you with a burden if the thing I'm keeping is no longer a secret. It'll only be unfair on you if we get together before."

"Francesca, you were never a burden to me. Never." He says sternly.

"Ethan, I put us both through shit." I say with a dry chuckle.

"But I never once felt like you were a burden to me or my life." He clears up, and I sigh, looking up at him. "You were the best thing in my life, not a burden."

"When we were together, you were the only person I could speak to... about anything and everything. I have Taylor now, and she's amazing, but I don't want to get comfortable with you and forget about what I need to do. I need to tell my friends, get that out of the way before diving in with you. God, Ethan I want to, I want to so badly, and it's extremely hard to resist, but I need to put my friends first." I gulp down the knot in my throat, scanning his face for his response.

"And then that's what you'll do. I've told you a thousand times I'll wait for you, what's another month or two? Even if it's more, I don't care." He says, and I smile shyly at him.

"I don't want to tell them in a month or two." I whisper and he frowns down at me. "I want to tell them as soon as possible. I really meant it when I said it's hard to resist you, Ethan. And I'm not doing this because I need and want you, but I'm doing this because it's the best time to do so. With the amount I have on my plate with college, work and the gym, I've hardly spent time with my friends. We've been here one day, and already my eyes are more open. My friends are amazing, I fucking love them all, and I'm only postponing the same reaction. They're going to react the same way they will if I tell them next week. Keeping this from them is burdening me now, it's not a secret I want to keep."

"I'm here for you every step of the way. But don't rush yourself just because you want to be with me. I feel truly honored but don't rush yourself because of that." He says and I chuckle, lying my head down on his shoulder. "You're still wearing Gucci perfume."

"Hmm." I nod, feeling content next to him.

"I want to apologize." He says and I frown, confused. "Last night... we kissed and I pushed you away with hardly any explanation. I just didn't want you to regret anything. I love spontaneity, but I didn't want us to have sex like that with so many things left unsaid. I loved it and I don't regret a thing, but it was too fast. You had just had a nightmare and it wasn't the right time."

"I know, and I'm kinda glad you stopped it when you did. It would have been a massive thing for me and it wasn't exactly the best moment to do it. As you said, my emotions were all over the place from the nightmare. As much as I don't think I'd regret it in the morning, I think I'd be left more confused than I am now." I say, picking at my bare nails yet again. I really need to kick this habit.

"Look at me." He urges in a soft tone and so I do, taking in his beautiful emerald eyes. "I want to have sex with you so much, I've missed you and your body, but we can ease into that. I will totally settle for foreplay."

"Of course you would." I chuckle, smiling at him. "But thanks, I appreciate it."

"Hey, foreplay's almost better than sex." He says in a faux defensive tone, and I agree to some degree. I somewhat get more sexually frustrated. I love it and all, but sex after it is so much better.

As we reach the very top, I flicker my eyes over the fairground in total awe. We're at the very top, and I've never felt lighter.

Turning my head towards Ethan, he flashes me a smile, gripping my thigh a little tighter when we come to a total stop. It's not broken down, it's just allowing more people on, but I don't think he realizes that.

"You're okay." I assure him.

"I may have a slight fear of heights." He laughs which is assuring, I mean at least he's laughing about it.

"Why did you come on here then?" I wonder.

"Because I made you a promise. We have to go on one of these together, and I have to win you a massive bear." He says, and I purse my lips to hide my smile.

"Where will you win me a massive bear?" I ask.

"I'm sure there's at least ten games here." He chuckles at my stupid question.

"Thank you. For everything." I quickly add the latter sentence.

"There's no need. I'm just keeping my promise." He smiles and I take in the man beside me. Ethan Kane. A rough exterior with the interior of a cuddly teddy bear.

"Ethan, kiss me. Please kiss me." I whisper a beg, and he doesn't hesitate grasping my face with his shaky hands before molding our lips together as one.

A spark to the system yet again – he electrocutes me in the best way possible. A feeling that consumes me fully.

This is softer, slower, shorter, less passionate, but nothing less than perfect.

"My nirvana." He murmurs, resting his forehead against mine, his words making my heart risk cardiac arrest. I'm under his spell.

"I love you, Ethan Kane." I whisper with a bright smile.

"I love you more, Francesca Salatino." He chuckles, wiping my lip gloss around his lips.

Never in a million years could he love me more than I love him. I truly don't think it's possible for this feeling to be any stronger.

I surprise myself every day though – my feelings only strengthen more and more for him.

~~~~~

A/N

So, I'm in love with my characters...! Can you blame me though? I mean they're pretty much perfect.

Life update: I'm on holiday (Covid safe, it's a bought family caravan) and it's beautiful! I've allowed myself to write this month even though I said I weren't going to, because I need to. This is also my passion, I can't really survive without my imagination. I'm not wasting all my hours writing though, I write on a night and when it's raining.

So far in 3 days, I've been swimming in the sea twice, I've been to three different beaches. I've gotten a teeny bit of a tan but honestly, I still look like a milk bottle. I'm just having a really nice time!

OOOH, it's the EURO semi-finals for England, and OH MY GOD, my nerves are all over the place!! I'm going out tonight to watch it though and I'm excited for that.

Edit: it's eleven PM, I just got in and we're through to the finals baby! It's coming home... I hope. If not, we still did fucking amazing! I can't wait for Sunday.

Question of the chapter:

Do you like fair rides or any kind of rides?

No, I hate them with a passion. I'm Lauren; Lauren is me.

I hope this chapter was okay!

Thank you for reading! Please comment your thoughts, vote by pressing the little star, and if you want, you can follow me too. I'm also on Instagram – @daisyclouds89 Xx

7291 words!

~B