⚠️Won't be adding kinks/tags cuz i don't even know myself⚠️

❗️Just to make it clear, this is black male reader, M/n and Dazai do like eachother it's just a dynamic of Annoying best friend/lover x Annoyed best friend/lover, also dazai in this is intersex❗️

3rd pov
M/n was sleeping soundly, happily dreaming, and in his happy place nothing could disturb him and nothing could ruin his slumber except....him. Only Dazai Osamu could ruin such a perfect moment but luckily they were no where near him and he could enjoy this moment peacefully, or so he thought.....burning.....something was burning and then there was a loud beeping and that's when M/n woke up and groaned and he smelled it again and that's when his eyes shot open. He jumped out of bed and ran out his room and he smelled it from the kitchen and that's when he saw.....it.....them.....Dazai, "The fuck?! DAZAI!!!!" The fire grew bigger but yet that dummy Dazai was just standing there smiling and yet they was trying to start conversation, M/n grabbed Dazai like it was nothing as he carried them bridal style and he jumped out his window and landed in some bushes and after a couple minutes the fire department came and extinguished the fire and M/n's eye was twitching because he knew it as something to do with Dazai. "M/n~! So how's your morning!" M/n slowly turns his head as his hands twitch because he genuinely wants to strangle Dazai, "How. Do. You. Think. It's. Going." "Hmmm I don't know, so instead of all the riddles why can't you just tell me?" "MY HOUSE BASICALLY BURNED DOWN YOU FUCKING IDIOT?! HOW DO YOU THINK MY MORNING IS GOING?!?!?" "Ah no need to yell! Just buy a new one!" "Dazai you piece of shit! I'm gonna kill you!!" "Please! It would such an honor~!" M/n takes a deep breath and rubs his forehead and sits down on the grass and Dazai sits next to M/n "Look i'll buy you a new house, think of it as my forgiveness for all the times you think i've been annoying and insufferable...whatever that means." M/n raises an eyebrow and thinks about it and he sighs "Fine...thanks I guess." "Of course! We're best friends right?" "No." "Yes we are! You promised you participate in a double suicide with me!" M/n scoffs "I never said that! YOU assumed that! Plus...your not doing that, so shut the fuck up about it." Dazai wraps his arms around M/n's arm "Aww~! M/n is gonna miss me!" "No i'm not. I can't wait until you get out of my life, plus there will be no missing since you won't be doing that shit." Dazai is wide eyed for a second but then they're back to being themself and they smile "Come on! Let's go buy you that new house!" M/n and Dazai stand up and start talking about what kind of house M/n should get.

"Come on already shitty Dazai! Help me bring in my dresser!" Dazai sighs dramatically "Why can't you just bring it in with your ability? Your the stronger one here!" "Your compensation for being a pain in the ass isn't over yet!" "Eh? But M/nnnn I already found this beautiful place for you!" Says Dazai pouting and rolling their eyes "Which I paid half for when YOU were supposed to pay for it in full!" Dazai sighs "Your so ungrateful!" "DAZAI!" "Ugh! Fine!" Dazai helps haul in the dresser up to his room and Dazai cracks their back stretching as they breathe heavily "Oi dumbass, why are you acting like your about to die?" "...if only!" Dazai hugs M/n and snuggles their face into M/n's chest "The fuck?" "Why are you so mad at me? I've been helping you all this time!" M/n slightly blushes "fuck....you could- atleast act like you care!" "Ah! But M/n I do care! I don't like it when your mad at me!" "YOUR FUCKING WRONG! YOU LYING ASS BITCH! YOU LOVE WHEN IM MAD AT YOU!!!" "Okay I do but still! It's our thing! You know I love you!" "Then fucking show it instead of fucking up my life!" "Roger roger!" Dazai snuggles up to M/n's neck and puts their hand up M/n's shirt "Dazai what are you doing." "I'm showing my love! Just like you said!" "You know i didn't mean it like this." "Then how else am i supposed to show it?" "I don't know how about dont fuck up in the first place!" "M/nnnn~! Please forgive me for being a careless best friend!" Says Dazai kissing M/n's neck as they grab M/n's cheek with one hand and M/n grabs Dazai's hair piling them away from his neck and M/n gets close to Dazai's face "Wanna know how i'm gonna forgive you?" Dazai nods and as M/n gets close and Dazai blushes more ".....bring in the rest of my shit." Dazai's eyes widen as M/n smirks "M/nnnn!!" "Pffttt- HAHAHA!!!! Holy shit!!" Laughs M/n walking out the room and Dazai pouts embarrassingly, after an 1 hour Dazai finally is finished bringing in all of M/n's things and they wipe the sweat off their forehead and they go to see where M/n is and they hear the shower running and then it stops so they open the door to see a naked M/n standing there dripping wet and annoyed as always. "Learn to fucking knock shitty dazai." Dazai is stunned with arousal, they genuinely can't move, can't blink, or even think about anything else but.....that! "Oi Dazai! What the hell are you staring at?" "N..not- Nothing...." M/n rolls his eyes and pushes Dazai out the door and closes it and then Dazai just stands there still stunned, after 20 minutes M/n walks out with new clothes on and he sees Dazai still standing there "What is wrong with you?" Finally Dazai has their composure again and they sigh "I just...um..." Then it hits M/n and he grins "Oh....You liked what saw and now your all hot and bothered!" "N-No! Y-Your wrong!" "You sure about that? Your as red as a tomato." "It's not my fault!" "Yes it is! You walked in on me purposely! You didn't even fucking knock you weirdo! Also all this time i thought your little remarks about me were just you being you and that you "didn't have such tastes in men" but come to find out men is your taste." "I don't have tastes in any man! Just M/n!" "You do realize i am a man right?" "I know that!! M/n is just an exception, we've been best friends for so long now and we know everything about eachother and we comfort and take care of eachother that i can't help it! Especially since it's bigger than...last time...." M/n smirks "So that's how you feel?" "Yes, will you tell me how you feel?" "Nah. Not today, anyways come get groceries with me."

"Ugh! Can't believe I have to save this shitty idiot!" M/n kicks down the door and walks in and sees some Dazai tied to a chair and somehow in this situation Dazai still has the audacity to give M/n "fuck me" eyes, M/n walks up to Dazai and rips off the tape "M/n you know it's a trap right?" "Yea no shit." Then some random bastard walks in "Finally! I have you right where I wanted you!" "....who are you?" Says M/n and Dazai snorts trying to hold in a laugh "What do you mean who are you?! It's me (Random bastard)!" M/n is genuinely thinking it over and then he looks at Dazai then back at the random bastard "Yea sorry but your not ringing any bells, your gonna have to be specific." "HOW CAN I BE MORE SPECIFIC?! I JUST GAVE YOU MY DAMN NAME!!!!" "....which was?" "AUGHAHAHH!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I LITERALLY SAID IT LIKE 40 SECONDS AGO!!!" Dazai ends up laughing and when they're finished they look up at M/n "Honestly it's pathetic how hard your trying, sweetheart he's been talking about you since he captured me! I think your biggest fan has a crush! Isn't it romantic!" "I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH!" "Sorry but your not my type." "Whatever! But as I was saying-" Dazai yawns loudly "How much longer is this going to take? By 12:30 i should be in bed cuddling with M/n." "You mean sexually harass?" "No it's not! You always consent! You even kiss my forehead!" "Whatever." "Um excuse me, I wasn't finished with my thing!" "Oh yea sorry. Go ahead and continue." Says M/n and random bastard clears his throat "As I was saying I have been watching you for a very long time, studying your unconscious schedule you have from morning until night!" Dazai ends up mocking the random bastard and M/n can't contain a laugh as he starts cackling hysterically "ARE YOU LAUGHING?!?" "No.....BAHHAHAHHAH!!! OKAY YEAH!!!" The random bastard blushes in embarrassment and rage as M/n continues to laugh "I-I....swear- haha!- I-I'm not lau-....ghing at you!!" M/n struggles to get up as he wipes his tears "M/nnn stop your striking a nerve! You don't treat a fan/crush like that!" Says Dazai teasing "For the last time I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH!!" "So you are a fan?" The random bastard is a about to have a mental breakdown "Honestly how do you deal with such annoyance?!?!" "Oh yea no i didn't get to choose this weirdo, I was tethered to them unwillingly. So I really don't deal, i just have my regular 5 mental breakdowns throughout maybe 2 or 3 days." "Waah~! M/n saying such words in front him, your such a pervert~!" "Dazai I will strangle you, so shut your ass up." The random bastard starts chuckling crazily "I-I don't know what I was thinking....y-you both are crazy! I'm going to need therapy for the rest of my life!! Heh..heh...p-please leave!" Dazai and M/n shrug as M/n rips off the ropes and picks up Dazai and M/n walks out the door holding Dazai "I don't know what his problem was?!" "....OHHH that random bastard!" Says M/n and they both hear nearby screaming/crying but M/n keeps walking "Wanna get some ice cream?!" Says Dazai smiling and M/n makes a confused expression "Your life was threatened and you want ice cream- actually yes i want ice cream." Says M/n in the same sentence and Dazai laughs as they put their head in the crook of M/n's neck, M/n ends up walking 15 miles to a ice cream shop as it's just about to close and he puts down Dazai and they get their favorite ice creams and they walk out the shop and Dazai pulls M/n to a park bench and M/n sits down and Dazai sits down on his lap. Dazai licks their ice cream erotically and M/n rolls his eyes "Eat the damn ice cream normally." Dazai huffs "This is how i normally eat my ice cream!" "So you casually just deepthroat your ice cream?" "Not on purpose but it's good practice!" M/n rolls his eyes and Dazai huffs as they eat some of M/n's ice cream "What the hell Dazai!" "Mmm tasty!" Says Dazai teasing M/n "Nah let me taste some of yours!" "No!" "Fine than i'll snatch it out your fucking hand and shove it up your ass!" Dazai pouts as they think of an idea, they pick off some of their ice cream with their mouth and M/n raises an eyebrow questioningly but then Dazai kisses him transferring the ice cream to his mouth and M/n's eyes go wide but then they relax as he kisses Dazai back even though he's already eaten the ice cream and they both intertwine their tongues as M/n puts his hand on Dazai's ass squeezing it and Dazai moans as they grind down on M/n's leg and that's when M/n stops Dazai from moving and he breaks the kiss and Dazai whines frustratedly "Whyy!" "Because i'm more interested in my ice cream."

Dazai enjoys cuddling with M/n, M/n is the only person they've ever done it with, the only person they have asked for more cuddles- actually not asked just straight up whined and begged, and the only person they'd do it all again for. "M/nnnn~ please!!" "Why." "Because i feel so cold without it!" "I'll get you blankets! I just want to go one night without having a body on mine!" "But i need something to lay on that isn't a bed!" "That's why i got you that body pillow! Just fucking use that!" "But- but it's not warm!" "I'll put it in the dryer." "M/n! Please! It can't do the things...the things that you sometimes do!" "Like?" ".....you know." "Know i don't. Out of all the times we've done this, I never done anything but sleep." "Well i mean you were drunk for those times i'm referring too....." "Wait- wait a minute, I was drunk?" Dazai nods "And you let me touch you?" "Yes. But if your worrying about consent, you did ask me and i did say yes the first time!" "I don't know if that legally counts as consent if i was drunk." "Well now you can do it sober!" Dazai takes off their pants and shirt and they smile and Dazai walks over to M/n and takes off his shirt "You really want this to happen." "Yes but I can't do it without your consent silly!" "Yea i guess so." Dazai pulls down M/n's pants and M/n takes them off and Dazai pushes M/n back on the bed and Dazai gets ontop of M/n and M/n rubs Dazais back and moves his hands down to their ass and he squeezes it, as they lay their head on M/n's chest and they kiss eachother lovingly. M/n gropes and fondles Dazai's ass as he softly spanks it and Dazai mewls "Sweetheart I have an idea!"......Dazai slowly grinds and humps M/n's hard with their back facing M/n as they moan loudly feeling immense pleasure as M/n spanks them "H-Harder!" M/n spanks them harder leaving their ass to be more red "Aah!" Dazai grinds and humps fast "I...I'm close! I'm so close, harder~!!" M/n spanks them harder and harder not even waiting for Dazai to tell him and that's when Dazai shakes and their vision goes white as they cum harshly as they cry out and M/n massages their ass as he smirks and Dazai slowly comes back to reality "How was it?" Dazai turns around and hugs him kissing him "Sweetheart I loved it, I came so much!" M/n chuckles "Glad I could service you brat." "But sweetheart, your still hard down there! Let me suck you off?" Says Dazai gesturing with their mouth and hand "I'm not stopping you." Dazai smiles as they pull down M/n's boxers and his dick springs out and Dazai kisses the tip sucking it as they slowly jerk it off. M/n runs his fingers through their hair gripping it and Dazai sucks more fast bobbing their head up and down as they continue to jerk it off and M/n pushes their head down forcing their head down and pulling it up over and over as he grunts "Shit..." Dazai moans as they let M/n use their mouth and they choke as M/n pulls their head and spits connects from his tip to their mouth and Dazai catches their breath "You wanna stop cuz i'm enjoying fucking my partners throat." Dazai shakes their head as they kiss his dick "I love the way my boyfriends dick bulges my throat~!" M/n grins "Such a good slut." M/n pushes their head back down and Dazai bobs their head faster as they get wetter and wetter, Dazai moans louder as they blush and M/n grips their hair more and Dazai licks their underside as they keep his dick in the back of their throat "Shit...you want my cum that bad...." Dazai latches off and catches their breath again "Please~" Dazai sucks even faster and deeper and M/n grabs their head with both hands and he grunts pushing their head down more and cumming down their throat, Dazai swallows it and latches off swallowing the rest and without even being asked they licks M/n's dick cleaning it off and M/n rubs the side of their face "Fuck your beautiful." Dazai smiles and kisses M/n's cheek "You got my cum on your lips dummy!" Dazai giggles as they get up and pull M/n up and into the bathroom and they turn on the water and they get in the shower and so does M/n "You know we not bout to have sex in here." They did in fact have sex in the shower and Dazai couldn't even stand up on their own so when M/n re washed them both, he turned off the water and dried Dazai and himself and picked them up taking them to the bed "Sweetheart...I want it again...." "Nah we going to sleep sex addict." M/n puts Dazai on the bed and lays next to them and they kiss one last time and fall asleep.

How they met:
"Hey are you coming?" "Nah someone asked me to take care of their kitten and they paying me a shit load of money." "Share some with me!" "Fuck no!" "M/n your mean!" "Yea yea whatever, i'm at they house so i'll talk to you later." M/n hangs up and he opens the unlocked door but he doesn't see any kitten and then he hears rustling in the closet so he walks over and opens it and his eyes go wide, 'What the actual fuck?!' M/n sees a 'boy' in bandages with handcuffs and he's gagged 'Is 'he' dead?' Dazai looks up at M/n and M/n bends down and takes off his gag and Dazai breathes heavily as he pushes M/n back and gets ontop of him "Woah what are you doing?" "He sent you here didn't he?" "Who is he?" "The man watching us right now." M/n goes wide eyed as he looks around the room for cameras "I was just paid to watch a kitten." "I'm the kitten. He doesn't want you to watch me, he wants you to fuck me." M/n's eyebrows furrows "If i'm not what your attracted to then just think of a girl." Dazai turns around with his ass and pussy in M/n's face as he unzips his pants and Dazai pulls out M/n's dick "Oh your bigger than most, hopefully there's lube." "You know it's kinda hard to think about a girl when your pussy is in my face." "Just ignore it." "It's in my face!" "Just look the other way!" Dazai looks back at M/n's dick and he licks the tip and he starts sucking the tip and M/n rolls his eyes as he sees Dazai's pussy clenching and getting wetter, "Your not a virgin right?" "I've only ever given blowjobs, nothing has been up there so you'll be taking my virginity." M/n raises an eyebrow "Isn't that precious or some shit." "Well i'd have rather have someone i dont know take my virginity than some bastard take my life, i'd rather do that myself." Dazai goes back to sucking and he takes M/n deeper and M/n spreads Dazai's ass and pussy and they jolt but then keep sucking as they slurp and lick around the tip, M/n licks their pussy sucking up all their juices and Dazai moans as he latches off "Y-You don't need to do that....." M/n doesn't listen as he sucks it more playing with their pussy lips and he smirks as Dazai fidgets their body and more juices flow, Dazai sucks his dick deepthroating it and nearly choking but they relax their throat and they jerk off what they can't suck and M/n licks all around their pussy licking inside of them. Dazai moans more as they take it out of their mouth and get up getting back on the floor on all fours arching their back presenting themself to M/n, "Please....put it inside me." "Why can't you do it?" "Are you serious?? Just fuck me!" M/n laughs "I'm just joking you." M/n spits on his dick and he slowly pushes it inside Dazai "Mmm...fuck~" M/n grips their hips as he starts to thrust fast and roughly inside Dazai and they moan wantonly as blush coats their face "Wow you sound like a slut." Dazai turns their hand as they continue to moan high pitched "J-Judging by- Aah! How your so h-h...mmmfwa~! hard you are inside me, it s-seems like you like it~!!" "No shit." M/n spanks Dazai as he thrusts faster and rougher nudging their good spot rapidly and Dazai can't help but clench around him "Jesus loosen up a bit! You clenching me like a damn vice!" Dazai huffs in annoyance and pleasure as he keeps moaning getting louder "That's kind of hard when it feels good!" M/n pulls out flipping Dazai over laying them on their back and spreading their legs and M/n pushes back in grabbing his waist and fucking him hard and deep "Hhaa-yha! F-Fuck me~!" M/n's eyebrows furrow as he stops momentarily "Why d-did you...." "Believe it or not this feels good for me too, like I said you wont loosen the fuck up so i'm trying not to cum." "Like I said I can't help it! You feel really good inside...." M/n starts back up again fucking him deeper and harder moving his hips at a rapid speed vigorously abusing his womb and Dazai wraps their arms around M/n's neck as he cries out "Haa! Ahha~!! You break my womb if you stab into it s-so violently! I'll cum if you keep fucking me like this!" M/n pistons his hips ramming his dick inside Dazai's womb more completely ignoring what they said "Fuck! I'm gonna cum!" "Cum inside! Please!" M/n shakes his head "Won't you get pregnant?" Dazai moans louder and louder gripping his arms "It...it- Haa!! Ah-ahhya~~!! It's safe so just cum deep inside!" M/n shoots inside Dazai womb and Dazai screams in ecstasy as their mind goes blank and all they can feel is M/n's cum inside them and M/n doesn't pull out right away as he grabs their face checking if their okay "Hey...you good?" Dazai slowly nods "Just full...." M/n pulls out and Dazai pushes out some of his cum and M/n grabs them pulling them up and laying them on his chest "You should go...." "Okay so when you wanna leave?" "No go by yourself." "I know so when you want to leave?" Dazai huffs in annoyance "Seriously!" "I'm being serious." M/n lays dazai on the floor as he looks around and finds tissues and he walks back over and wipes Dazai clean and he looks in the closet and finds a long coat and puts it over Dazai and picks him up as he kicks the window glass jumping out of it and landing on his feet and he runs to his car putting Dazai in the passenger seat buckling him up but he quickly checks the outside and inside of his car for tracking devices and he ends up finishing three and he throws them up in the room they were in and he runs back over getting in the car buckling up and driving away as quickly as he can "Why are you doing this?" "Cuz i don't want no bastard killing you, but now only you are I get to kill you." Dazai looks at M/n and he smiles "I like that!"