How often do you update the queue?

Whenever I finish a book and/or whenever I get new review requests

Why are you taking so long/When can I expect my review?

Look at the queue. The top book in the queue will take me anywhere from three hours to a week. Depends on the length. The more recent your request, the longer it will take to get to you. Them's the breaks.

Why haven't you answered my comment yet?

Because I'm at work or working on a project or having a life idk man I'll get to it. I always do.

Why haven't you added me to the queue yet?

If you're new, it's because I haven't been to technology yet. Otherwise, chances are either Wattpad broke on me or somehow I skipped you. Send me a POLITE message to remind me and I will fix it.

Any way I can bump myself up in the queue?

Uh... I mean. If you read my works, I might be more inclined to get to you sooner, but no promises. Alternatively, if your book is short and I started reading it for some other reason [see: book club], there's a chance I'll bump you up. If there's any other opportunity, I'll make an announcement.

Why did you take me off the queue?

Did you break one of my rules? Treat another reviewer like shit? Cause those are ways to be yanked from the queue. And no, I won't give you warning first. These are non-negotiable. Other factors that can cause your book to be pulled include deleting the book or changing the title or summary so that I don't recognize it. I'm not going to waste my time searching for your book. I have too many things on my queue to read.

Why didn't you comment/vote on my book?

If you look at the rules, I say :

Here's the deal. You write a book, you send me the form, I read it, post comments as I go if I have anything to say, and write a comprehensive review to post here. And the best part is? It's free.

Note the part where I say "if I have anything to say". Sometimes I just... don't. That can be good or bad. Also, note I say nothing about votes. I vote if I like it. If I don't vote, or I don't vote on certain chapters, chances are there was something in it I didn't like.

Do you really read the entire book?

I try to. At least, whatever is available. Sometimes, I just can't, and if that's the case I'll say where and why. While I've tried to make reading all of the book for free my "trademark", sometimes I just can't follow through.

What if you reviewed my book but now I've completed/rewrote the book and I want you to read it again?

Just send in another form and add a note that I've reviewed this book before. I may also be more inclined to do yours sooner, as I'll already be familiar with the content.

Why do you require the "warning" section of the form?

Quite simply because some content makes me uncomfortable and can hinder my ability to do your review to the best of my ability. Rarely will I turn work down once I'm aware of the content, but it's nice to have a warning so I can adequately prepare myself.

What's the Quick Summary section all about?

It's just something I do for fun that helps me stand out from other reviewers a little. Sometimes it's a one-sentence summary of what I read. Sometimes it's just the first thought I had after I finished reading. Sometimes it's a song I thought about while reading. Sometimes it's me trying to be funny. Basically, a sort of log line of how the following review is about to go.

Why did you say no to my book?

Most of the time, I will give an answer [IE: "I don't think I can remain in a good headspace for this book"] Other reasons can include I skimmed and don't think I can do a fair job with your book or you clearly disregarded my rules. Especially if you neglected to add the password.

Why is there now a password?

Because people seem to not read the rules even though they're not that hard to follow. A password isn't fool-proof, but it's something.

Can you PM me my review?

Uh... most of the time, no. You have to make a very special case for me to do this, mostly because I tend to write kinda-long reviews that make it a pain in the ass to send over PMs. So, mostly no, but if you're THAT desiring, PM me and talk about it.

Why don't you pull reviews?

Look. You came to me asking for my opinion on your work. Don't like my opinion? That's the risk you took in asking me to give you a review. As some people have come to find, no matter how much you threaten or demand, I won't do it. It's very clearly in my rules. If you don't want the possibility of having negative press, don't ask - don't waste my time.

Why'd you delete my comment?

I either finished your review or you were being an asshole.

Or your comment was on the form/queue page and it was off-topic. I like people asking questions and that's fine, but after a few days I'll delete your comment because I'm a big big big organization freak and the comments on that part are just another way for me to keep track of requests so it really shouldn't be used for anything else.

You haven't posted a review for several days/weeks/month[s]!! What gives?

I'm working on it. Be patient. I have things I read for fun, I write my own books, I have a job, and my own projects, and mental illness which often gets in the way of my functioning. It will get done, unless you're a fucking jackass about it or do something that's highlighted in my rules to get yourself pulled.

So where can I ask questions, then?

Uh. Here. Right here on the FAQ. That'd be great.