Chapter 49

Light was sitting on the couch as I stared at the man. His long legs were crossed elegantly as his fingers fluttered past the pages of his textbook before halting to scan over the page again, then smoothly flipping to the second unit. His soft features indicated no weakness, only that handsome smirk that he hid behind the book as his eyes shifted towards mine.

"Sayu," he called curtly. His eyes searched my face as I flushed from his intensity, the smirk growing wider on his face before he dropped the book onto the spot beside him and tilted his jaw towards me. His eyes were slanted in an angle that made him look condescending, similar to a king would do, but I knew he was only doing that to test my reaction.

My chest tightened as I stared at Adam's apple that bobbed, as if thirsty.

Light was sexy, no doubt.

He was also the kind that had an innocent soul seeing how he did not make any drastic moves with women aside from kissing them when it was necessary.

The black collar fitted loosely around his neck as it draped down, loose.

I desperately wanted to run my hands up his shirt, see him beneath me as he groaned in pleasure. But was it because I was currently in my puberty state?

Was it lust?

Or was it truly that I liked him?

"Light, I'm confused," I sighed irritatedly before dangling my hands over the board of my chair, plopping my head on my arms. He slightly narrowed his eyes before smiling pleasantly at me.

"What is it?"

"I think I like you," I blurted out directly as his eyes widened for a moment, completely speechless from my honesty before returning back to normal. I was surprised that he wasn't at all disgusted by my blunt words, but then again, Light was...Light.

"But I don't know if it's lust or feelings."

"Oh," his gaze flickered downwards to the textbook that he held just a moment ago before turning his eyes back with mine. "Your hormones are at its peak."

"Yes," I sucked on my lips and let out a long sigh. "And it's messing up my brain."

"Girls mature earlier than boys, so it's understandable." He nodded stiffly before searching through my eyes.

"What do you want to do?"

"...Are you placing the offer on the table?" I frowned before chewing on my inner cheek.

Light hesitated for a moment before twisting his fingers on his lap.

"I am."

"What the fu-" I slapped my forehead with my hand before swallowing my words. "Are you...serious?"

"Sayu, I've been serious in the beginning," he pursed his lips before flashing me a dark look. "That time when we almost crossed the line-"

My mind flashed to the scene on the couch, remembering Light's desperation as he sucked on my lips. My mouth almost twitched sweetly before I pushed it down with my cursing brain.

"No, you weren't serious in the beginning," I grumbled and lowered my eyes. "Unless you're talking about after that time on the couch."

"So you knew?"

Without even looking, I knew that he had raised his eyebrows.

"We-" I scrunched up my face before looking up at him. "We both had the same purpose."

"You manipulated me so that I would trust you," he said with a bemused tone.

"And you tried to chain me down so that I would stay loyal to you," I snarled back.

"And now?" He cocked his eyebrow, expecting my answer. The clock ticked behind us, indicating the absence of our dad in the NPA, working. I was speechless.

Exactly.

And now?

Light had undoubtedly trusted me. He entrusted me with his life and the Death Note. He saved me numerous times from my own dreams and situations. Even though the methods he used were manipulative and controlled as heck, there was really no reason for us to continue the relationship.

He knew that I had fallen for him. I also knew that he needed me.

"Sayu," his voice snapped me from my thoughts as his eyes blazed darkly with desire. It was swirling, enveloping his body as he crossed his legs tighter, trying to hide the discomfort in his lower half.

"I do not care about blood, do you?"

"No," I swallowed. "I don't."

We both stared at each other in silence.

Desire ran through the air as his gaze shimmered as if trying to lure me into his grasp.

"Light, you don't actually care about the law, do you?" I asked slowly.

"I don't," a smirk placed onto his lips as his eyes gleamed with curiosity. "And I thought you already knew that?"

"And you kill criminals because they are filth that have not atoned for their wrongdoings." My question was more like a statement.

"The law isn't fair, Sayu. People are bound to the law because we need rules to run the world," he said. "I'm killing them because the rules have gone too far with restricting people."

"For example?"

"For example," he lowered his voice and licked his lips. "Why is incest illegal?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Incest is wrong because it is biologically inefficient for the born child," Light replied. "People view it as disgusting because they cannot imagine having intercourse with their family members."

"It is a consequence of both parties," he repeated. "But that's all there is to it."

My eyes flickered towards the buildings outside of the window. His words echoed in my mind. That was right...why was incest illegal? Of course, I understood their point from being disgusted by it, but that was like a majority saying that tomatoes tasted awful and banning it from the country.

The child that is born would have a higher chance of having an infant birth infection, but that was a choice from the parents. If it is upsetting, then just don't do it. It was like the problem with the LGBT community. The idea of the two sexes being attracted to each other disgusted people. But it was just a view.

"If a woman gets raped, it is deemed in court as the female's fault," Light's gaze followed mine and studied the countless people underneath. "It is a view."

If the guy was the first one to initiate it and forced himself on top of the girl without permission...

"Our views are the ones restricting correct justice," I uttered slowly.

"If a criminal kills, they are sentenced in jail to life," Light paused. "It is the majority's view that they cannot sentence the immediate death of the person."

"The majority's morals are the law," he echoed. "But the ones who truly want justice are muted by the majority."

Light was the voice of those who wanted the law to change. Who wanted revenge on the law. What was the difference between him and a presidential candidate? The only thing was that he was doing things forcefully, without anyone to stop him.

And because of how he lost his mind in the end, everyone saw him as the villain.

My mind ran through the countless youtube videos I've seen about Light's method.

It was true, after Light's reign, the number of criminals had decreased drastically. Even if the criminals were falsely accused, the number of cases prevented was overwhelming compared to the deaths caused by the Death Note. By becoming a tyrant, Light had saved the world in some way.

"You're going to save the world," I breathed as Light's eyes flickered to mine with an ecstatic gleam.

Then what about me? Why was I going for the Death Note? Comparing my own selfish requests, made me feel so small. Light and I were so similar in the fact that yes, society was made based on their views and preferences. The majority created laws and enslaved us to the 'proper' mindset we were supposed to have.

Like before I had thought that the reason why murderers were seen as monsters were that society viewed our actions to be wrong. But Light was also different because he had a sense of justice from Soichiro. He did not see from my point that murder would also be considered as a view.

What did I want?

I wanted to have everyone beneath me.

I wanted to ruin those who opposed me.

I wanted to oppose the law by bending it to my own desires.

I wanted to murder and manipulate without consequences.

That was what I wanted.

If I wanted to use Light's view to describe it...

Why was killing bad? It was only a view that the majority could not accept it.

But here was my point: I had no big goal like creating a city where laws would all bend.

I was too lazy to rule and only wanted to take care of myself.

This was all about psychology and philosophy, gosh I should've paid more attention in class. From the majority's viewpoint, my morals were evil. They went against the basic laws of human rights.

But from my standing, I was only curious.

Why was betrayal considered a bad thing? Sure, it felt wrong, but was it actually?

Slapping my forehead, I sighed in exasperation.

See, this is what happens when you don't have any rules and you're twisted like me. Everything becomes a question, not to mention it brings you to destruction. There was a difference between thinking and actually doing it.

Whatever, it was a question that I could ponder for the rest of my life and not come up with an answer. I hunched up my shoulders before a click was heard on our floor as dad entered the room with a haggard expression.

"Good work today," I nodded stiffly as dad's eyes turned up towards my face and he forced a smile. I turned back to Light before saying anything else. He looked amused from my sudden change in behaviour, already knowing what I was aiming for with dad.

And he let me have my way.

I clicked my tongue deliberately at the man. What a manipulator.

Even for his own father, he didn't care if I was ruining him.

I could practically imagine the depressing frown on dad's face by now as I opened my mouth to drop the bomb.

"By the way, Light, I'm transferring to Harvard."

Boom!

Light looked like a deer in headlights for the first time in his life as I heard dad's workbag thump onto the ground with stunned silence. See? That was how famous the school was. Enough to make the stoic brother stare at me with wide and frozen eyes! Ha! In your face people! I have my own life, beech!

Light was the first one to recover his shock.

"You-what?"

"Harvard," I repeated with a face wide smile. "I'm transferring to Harvard. Shall I get you the invitation from the president?"

Grinning slyly, I elevated from my chair and walked into my room before coming out with the cardboard folded envelope and passed it onto my dear brother.

"My daughter- Harvard?" Dad's voice choked out before he dashed to Light's side, shoving his face into the invitation after Light gave him total control over the piece of information. Light stared up at me, although nothing was shown on his face, his icy eyes were enough to reveal the sinister curl of his lips.

"Congratulations, Sayu, you're leaving this country."

AKA: You're trying to escape me.

I could tell that Light was angry. His words were fairly blunt compared to his usual hidden sentences along with that sarcasm he laced with the 'congratulations.'

Had he been this angry before in his life aside from L shouting that Kira was a criminal? My actions of bringing the invitation in front of dad made it almost impossible for him to stop my leave. And that was the exact thing I was hoping for.

I tilted my head innocently at my dear brother and stared at him with doe eyes.

"Heavens, are you jealous, big brother?"

"No," he clenched his jaw so tightly that I almost heard a crack, gritting his teeth into a pleasant smile with his eyes. "I'm just wondering how they accepted you."

"Oh, it wasn't hard for me," I clapped my hands together with a malicious grin, feeling pleased from his hostility. "My English was always my strong point, you know? All I had to do was take some exams and send them my results."

"They were absolutely overjoyed to accept a 16-year-old and almost graduated university student."

To be honest, reality was much harder than that. My GPA was 3.8 at best and after my grades came out this semester. If I had actually tried to transfer over to Harvard, I would never have made it in. This was called abuse of power. Everyone shall bend to my will!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The grin on my face was so wide that I felt my lips crack as I licked instinctively. Light followed my tongue that brushed across, smoothly taking his textbook and placing it over his lap.

"Sayu, this is fabulous news, but I'm afraid we won't be able to pay for your dormitory fees in America," Dad's face fell almost immediately.

While we did have a 10 million building and property, the taxes were only taken care of from L's compensation. Dad was barely able to pay for the plane ticket and dorm fees with his job, and that was under the condition that he and Light had to save up on their part.

"Well, that's too bad, Sayu," Light gave me a wide smile before I pulled out another envelope from behind me, unfazed.

I had already predicted all of this.

The smile on my brother's face slowly slipped off as Dad read off the terms and offers that Harvard had provided for me.

"Since I'm a student that they have personally invited, they will cover my plane ticket and fees for the dorms for a year," smugly smiling, I placed one of my hands on my hips. "I will be trying out for the scholarships, and their scholarships can cover every living expense I need."

"Even if I don't get any of the scholarships, it's still worth it to learn from such a," I emphasized on the word, clasping both of my hands together and staring up at the ceiling like some kind of drama queen.

"-Honorable school."

"Dad, I'm a bit concerned since Sayu has been kidnapped once since she was alone." Dad had not known about the second kidnapping incident that took place with the Mafia, but that was already enough to add the reluctant purse of dad's lips as he thought if it really was a wise idea to be letting his only daughter fly into a foreign country with strangers.

Light smiled hesitantly before adding on.

"Not to mention that her Japanese phone would not be able to reach out to us."

Dad whined at Light's words before turning apologetically towards me.

"Sayu, I don't think-"

"Don't be scaring dad over here, Light," this time I was the one with an icy stare. How dare you-

"This is a school, all dormitories are safe. The most famous university in the world would ensure all the safety of their students. If even one student was endangered, their reputation would fall."

Dad opened his mouth, speechless at the intensity I raised up my voice in.

"1 phone call per week," I lifted my fingers. "If I don't call you once per week I will come flying back as you wish."

Light's expression hardened before turning towards the only parent in the room.

"Dad, it's still risky for Sayu to be out there with who knows what-"

"It is my potential, dad!"

I screamed out with tears in my eyes. You wanna play? Fine, I'll fucking play with you.

"I've tried so hard to get into this school, and it has finally seen what I could become," I swallowed thickly as I started to sob.

"You and mom always ignored me, it's always Light-" I pointed my finger accusingly at my brother who was taken back at my words. Dad's eyes widened before shifting his darting eyes away from my face.

"Dad, look at me!" I flared my nostrils as he jerked back to me.

"My 15th birthday!" I threw my hands above my head, baring my own teeth to show him how broken I was. "My 16th birthday!"

This time, Dad was fully gaping at me with a white face, blinking rapidly before remembering that I was 16 now. Sweat was rolling off his forehead as his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

"Do you even remember my birthday?!"

"Of course I do!" He sputtered. "July 18th!"

"It's June 18th, my dear daddy!" I hissed at him as his whole body froze with a haunted look.

A crack formed in his voice as he murmured out his sweaty apologies and how tired he was from work. Light was silent as he sat on the couch, staring at me with disbelief and a hint of guilt.

"It's always about Light," my hands flew towards my eyes as I bit my lips, tears streaming down my cheeks. "It's always him."

"E-even with mom," I shuddered out, causing dad's apologies to slam into a muted halt. "She hurt me for Light."

"She hurt me," I wheezed before tearing my hands off of my face, uttering with a lost voice. "Am I not her child?"

I saw dad's chin tremble as I added on.

"All I wanted," I huffed and rolled my eyes up towards the sky, trying to seem as I was blinking back the tears.

"All I wanted was to be loved," I turned my back towards the two and paced towards my room, spatting darkly. "And neither of you gave me that."