Trigger warning: Graphic scene of suicide attempts. Viewer discursion advised.

{~}

Rip and Dez went down to the library to do some research for a bit. Deserey was still pretty cynical when he came to biological families, but she wanted to help Rip find some solace with his if she could. After a half hour of fruitless searching, the duo went to check up on Ray and the two halves of Firestorm in the med bay. Unfortunately, Jax and Stein were arguing again.

Rip and Dez got there at the end of it all, but poor Ray was stuck in the middle of the whole thing. (Ray explained in further context later. Apparently, he had told Jax to just rest since he was still a bit off from his injuries, and that had caused the professor to snap. Jax had jumped into defense mode at once; and the two halves of Firestorm went back and forth, arguing about the exact meaning of their partnership and the importance of their mission. It ended with Jax exclaiming Stein wasn't his father and the professor essentially calling Jax an insulant child.) Jax stormed past Rip and Deserey as they entered the room.

Ray was staring at the professor with big doe eyes. He looked like he was going to say something, but before he even opened his mouth Stein winced, raising his hand to stop the other scientist. "Don't say it. I know. It was cruel, and unjustified, and I said it just for the sake of hurting him."

Rip shared a concerned look with Deserey. Evidently their football therapy session had not worked at all. Honestly, not really surprising. Though, it was very disappointing. Ray glanced over at the other two before turning his attention back to Stein, frowning with confusion. "Why aren't you telling that to Jax?"

"I had to hurt him, Raymond. It's the only way I can get through to him. I've tried everything else!" It was a desperate attempt to rationalize the rude things he'd said to the other half of Firestorm. Deserey could see that even if she didn't know exactly what he'd said at that moment.

"Well, he's just a kid," Ray said. It didn't sound like he was judging Stein, just stating facts. If anything he sounded worried, not only for Jax but for the professor as well.

Stein shrugged helplessly. In that moment, he didn't really look like a sophisticated professional. He didn't give off an air of knowledge or radiate any confidence. Instead, he seemed just as utterly sad and broken as everyone else on the ship. "So was Ronald and look what happened to him."

Ray froze for a moment. Then, a look of understanding passed over his face. He eyed the older scientist with a look of sympathy and empathy, nodding slowly as he realized why Stein was being such a hard ass. "The former half of Firestorm..."

Deserey remembered Jax mentioning someone named Ronnie earlier when they were arguing then, too. Ronald, she guessed, must have been the guy's full name. She also remembered Jax saying that he had been Firestorm for less time than Stein had. Her insides started playing twister again, a morbid thought occurring to her. She was upset, when that thought was confirmed by the professor a moment later. "I - I can't go through that again. I can't lose another. The reason I'm constantly lecturing Jefferson is because I'm the one who brought him along. If something happens, I'm the one who has to go back to 2016 and tell his mother that her little boy is never coming home." His voice cracked slightly with that sentence. "And I would rather die than do that."

Deserey pursed her lips, looking back and forth between Ray and Stein. The professor wasn't meeting anyone's eyes, and Ray was looking at Deserey and Rip like: Uh, help?  She hesitated for a moment, glancing at Rip. The captain wasn't very helpful though, so she focused on Stein instead. "So, uh, not to pry, but...What happened? To this Ronnie or Ronald, whichever it is..?"

Stein shifted, still not quite meeting anyone's gaze. Deserey worried for a moment that she’d overstepped by asking, but he spoke slowly, his voice much softer than normal. "Before Jefferson there was another young man who acted as the other half of Firestorm. That was Ronald Raymond."

Deserey caught a brief memory, some vague words in the news paper about a burning man and a picture that looked similar to Jax, except a white man instead of the young black man traveling with them on the Waverider.

"We first merged on accident," Stein continued, "when the Particle Accelerator exploded. I was standing just outside Star Labs, and he had been attempting to fix whatever had gone wrong with the machine. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful, and the blast forced us to merge for the very first time. Back then, we were only just learning our abilities as Firestorm. We were uncertain as to how to un-merge, and, lest we unintentionally harmed one of our loved ones, we decided to live on the streets while we worked to understand Firestorm's capabilities.

"Though, like Jefferson and I, Ronald and I didn't always get along. We remained stuck as Firestorm for nine months, until we eventually sought help from Barry and the others at Star Labs. With their assistance, Ronald and I were able to un-merge as well as learn the full extent of Firestorm's abilities. With Cisco's engineering skills, we were able to design a device that helped us merge and un-merge – the quantum splicer. We acted as Firestorm for months afterwards, occasionally helping Barry and the others.

"Six months ago, we found the man who murdered Barry's mother, a speedster from the future known as the Reverse Flash. We all went to confront him, but in doing so we suffered casualties. The first of which was Eddie Thawne, an ancestor of the Reverse Flash, who shot himself in order to prevent the speedster's existence."

Rip made a face at the name Thawne, but he didn't comment on it so Deserey didn't question it. Instead, he said, "He can't have done that. It would have caused a paradox. This time line would cease to exist."

Stein nodded curtly. His expression was distant, like maybe in his mind he was somewhere else, somewhere better than here reliving his, apparently, dark past. "Indeed," he agreed with the captain. "Time had began to fold in on itself, our time line being erased. A singularity formed over Central City."

It was Deserey's turn to make a face this time. "What's that mean?"

"Think of a black hole," Ray told her. "But, uh, a lot bigger and much more deadly."

She nodded. Six months ago Deserey had been checked into a mental institution in Coast City after one particularly nasty suicide attempt, so she hadn’t been there when this black hole, or singularity whatever, had appeared; but she remembered hearing someone mentioning some sort of deadly vortex or something in passing when she’d gotten back. Deserey shook her head lightly and looked at Stein once again. "Right. Okay. Continue."

"I'll spare you the science behind it all," Stein said thoughtfully. (Though maybe he just didn't have the heart to explain it all.) "But essentially, the singularity needed a powerful blast to counter act it's nature and get rid of it. Firestorm acted as that blast. We flew directly into the singularity, while Barry kept it at bay with his speed." He trailed off for a moment, his expression becoming all the more distant. "I survived. Ronald was not so lucky."

Deserey's heart sank into that never ending, icy cold ocean that had been forming in her lungs since the night Rip had gathered them. She'd been learning more than her fair share of secrets as of late. Seeing how much the others had gone through made her feel a little stupid about her own issues. They'd been through actual hell, multiple deaths, grief... And what was the worst Deserey had ever experienced? A few years on the street and a low self-esteem. That hardly mattered compared to what the others had went through. Yet, there was nothing she could do to make it better. Nothing she could say to take the pain away. It sucked, and she had to let it.

{~}

Jax took the next few days to rest and finish healing from his injuries. After her chat with Martin, Dez was feeling a bit off, as though her entire body had been dipped in cement and now she was trying to walk around with concrete slabs attached her limbs. So, the four Legends who'd put her on suicide watch rotated out with her every few hours or so.

When she was with Rip the two would go down to the library, and Dez would distract herself by helping him research in hopes of finding his biological family. When she was with Sara she'd join her and Kendra in the training room. (She'd gotten pretty decent at three main attack moves thanks to that.) She tried to avoid being with Leonard when she could. Seeing him just reminded her that she had majorly invaded his privacy, and that gave her an overwhelming sense of guilt that did nothing to improve her mood.

Mick didn't do much, which was fine, except for the fact that the silence allowed her mind to roam towards all those dark thoughts she didn't like having. To reflect on what she'd done to Leonard, to remember those horrible images from those dystopian futures, recall the annoying past that she had, and to realize just how hopeless everything really was. Everyone was broken, in pain. Suffering. It would never end. What was the point in fighting it?

At night she usually slept in Sara's room. (It was actually more like staring up at the ceiling for several hours, because she could never fall asleep with all the dark thoughts running through her head.) The team still hadn't discussed what to do with Booster Gold, who still sat in the brig just a few rooms down from Sara's room. Another reason behind her sleep deprivation. Everyone was so off kilter with one another, as though no one wanted to speak to each other. Besides, it wasn't easy sleeping with a stranger two feet away, any ways. One night in particular was especially bad. Dez had somehow managed to fall asleep, but an hour later she'd woken up to a burning sensation in her chest, like there was a heavy weight laying on her upper body.

It was uncomfortably familiar. Something she’d felt so many times before. Deserey stumbled out of bed and began making her way down the halls, heading for the med bay. She needed to make it stop. Disappear. She had to disappear. Had to die.

By the time Dez made it to the med bay, her vision was blurred with trepidation. She hardly saw the small medical chairs sitting against one wall or the blue monitor that stood between them. All Dez could make out was that cabinet in the back of the room with all the pills and medical gadgets. It was locked, but Dez tried tugging it open anyways. “Gideon,” she mumbled, desperately hitting her hand against the glass of the cabinet. “I…I need you to open this…” When the AI didn’t respond she kept calling out to her. “Gideon, please!”

There was another brief pause before Gideon finally spoke up. “I've been instructed to refrain from assisting you in acquiring any items that you may use to harm yourself.”

Dez groaned, smacking the glass harder. Damn it. That figures. “Gideon. Gideon, please. I need to…” She banged her elbow against the glass, trying to shatter it to no avail. “I need to die!”

Gideon ignored her pleas, even as Dez kept slamming her hands against the glass for several minutes before giving up and searching for something else. She moved down the hall to the bathroom.

It wasn’t very big – the shower was crammed into one corner and the toilet was stuffed into the other, the sink resting at the back wall – so there weren’t many options. The last time Dez had been here she’d already had something in her hands, this time she hadn’t been as fortunate. Dez managed to pry the cabinets above the sink open. She found a pair of silver scissors laying on one of the shelves. The four suicide watchers must have missed it when they’d been trying to hide all the sharp objects from her.

Dez grabbed the scissors hurriedly. She guessed Gideon must have been instructed to tell Rip or one of the others whenever she’d slipped into a state like this. So, she probably only had a few minutes before at least one of them showed up. Dez hadn’t really been counting on someone else showing up before them, though. She was pressing the scissors to her neck, drawing blood as she prepared to slide it across her own skin. But before she could do anything, a gentle hand plucked the scissors away.

Dez groaned, as she looked up to see the worried brown eyes of Ray Palmer. Of course, it just had to be him. She could already hear the ‘you have so much to live for' speech he was no doubt planning. Dez spoke before he had the chance to begin that speech, her voice cracking more than she would have liked it to. “I need to die, Ray.” To her it sounded like her voice was underwater, all echo-y and distorted to the point where she wasn’t even sure if it was really her own voice.

He hesitated, and Dez couldn’t stop the guilt tugging at her heart like steel chains. She could tell he wasn’t use to these sort of things. He’d probably never actually talked someone down from suicide before. Or maybe he just genuinely cared that much. It was hard telling which was more likely with him. She didn’t really care at that moment. Dez’s head had gone under that sea that had been forming in her chest since the night Rip had recruited the Legends (Failures more like it but whatever).

The world was a million miles away. It felt as though she wasn’t even there, like maybe she didn’t even really exist, like it was all a dream…or a nightmare. Her limbs were lead. Her head as heavy as a bowling ball. The only reason she managed to stay upright was because Ray was steadying her with one hand. His other hand reached behind him, putting the scissors on the sink.

Since the space was so small, she probably could have fought him off (Dez doubted Ray would hit her back) and take the scissors again, but she didn’t really have the energy for it at this point. Ray lead her over to sit on the toilet’s seat. Dez kept waiting for that speech, knowing she would only half listen to it, except it never came. Ray didn’t tell her all the reasons she shouldn’t be feeling this way. He didn’t get mad at her for it. He wasn’t judging or belittling.

Instead, Ray crouched in front of her, looking at her with those stupid puppy dog eyes of his, and for a moment Dez actually let herself believe that she mattered. She shoved the thought away as quickly as it came, though. She couldn’t afford to think that selfishly. Not when Rip's whole world had literally been torn apart, when Sara and Kendra were grappling with something Dez only just understood, when everyone else’s issues were far more pressing than her own.

Compared them, she really didn’t matter. All she did was whine and make more problems. She hadn’t done anything helpful yet, and it wasn’t likely she ever would. Rip was just wasting his time by bringing her on board. Dez was only going to slow things down, especially if he and the others were always more focused on baby sitting her. And her family…She didn’t even want to consider how much better off they’d be without her. Her ex had sent her off with some random British guy just to get rid of her. It would just be better for everyone if she ended it.

But Ray made it really difficult to ignore that small ping of significance with the way he kept staring at her, like he actually cared, as if she did matter. It was enough to make a person feel like they were the most important being in the universe even if that was the farthest thing from the truth. Dez didn’t usually like crying in front of people, it made her feel stupid and weak. She'd avoid doing it whenever she could, but with Ray she didn’t feel the need to try holding it back. So, she didn’t. She let the ocean she’d been drowning in for so long flood over, spilling out like a busted dam.

Ray didn’t make her feel stupid for it. He just wrapped his arms around her, providing a safe place for her to feel weak. She felt a bit like Will from Good Will Hunting, especially when Ray started telling her it wasn’t her fault. Dez wasn’t sure how long she’d sobbed in his arms for, but by the time it was over she had a massive headache. She pulled away, opening her mouth to say something but before she could, Gideon piped up, telling them they’d arrived at Luskavic Labs and were needed on the bridge. Dez shrugged and hurried off, Ray following behind her.

Carter, Rip, Len, and Mick were waiting on the bridge when they got there. (Sara and Kendra were still training apparently.) The professor was on the other side of the coms. (Evidently he’d gotten into a hurry and decided to go ahead without backup, using Vostok's badge to get inside.)
“I know what Vostok is working on,” Martin said through the coms on the console. “She’s trying to build…me.”

Rip frowned with confusion, as Deserey and Ray joined the others. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Savage has spent the last decade trying to level the arms race against our team. Operation Svarog. The Slavic god of fire! Of course,” Martin said. Deserey glanced around the room, thinking her headache must have been making her a bit slow, but everyone else appeared to be just as confused. Fortunately, he went on. “He and Vostok are building a Soviet Firestorm.”

The icon on the screen with Stein's name on it moved a little on the map, indicating the Martin had started walking again, only to stop a few seconds later. “They’ve already built a thermal core.” Deserey had no idea what that meant, but it didn’t stop the chills from running up her spine.
It seemed to make Rip worried as well, because he stood stiffly all of a sudden, speaking softer than normal. “Professor, need I remind you this is a reconnaissance mission?”

“It’s only a matter of time before Vostok figures out how to stabilize a Soviet Firestorm,” Martin reasoned, and Deserey didn’t need to see the map to know he was walking towards this core thing. “I’m not leaving without it. It's the key to building others just like me.”

Rip sighed. “Yes, well, perhaps you should wait for the rest of the team!” He gestured for the others to get going, sliding com links and translator pills their way as he did so. The others followed the implication at once, sticking the coms in their ears and swallowing the translators before running out to the science lab.

Len lead the team into the labs, sneaking past the guards easily enough. It was a big building with a shotty light system and leaky pipes, just like the asylum back in the fifties, except more Russian. (Savage really enjoyed places that looked like the setting of a horror movie didn’t he?) There were rooms lining the walls from floor to ceiling, each with a fuck ton of science equipment Deserey couldn’t even begin to understand.

Len decided it would be best if they split up to cover more ground. He and Ray went one way, Carter, Deserey, and Mick another. Mick ahead of the other two to look for anyone who’s lights he could punch out. Carter took the opportunity to turn his coms off, looking at Deserey oddly. “Can I confess something?”

She shrugged, turning her coms off as well. Her head was still pounding, and she still felt a bit off from earlier so she wasn’t sure she’d be the best unbiased listener at the moment, but she didn’t bother to tell him that. As soon as her coms were off, Carter said, “I heard you and Kendra the other night.”

It took Deserey a moment to remember any conversation that she’d had with the priestess lately due to her pounding head and the flickering lights. But when she did recall what he was referring to her eyes widened. “Oh, um, uh…” She started twisting a strand of hair in her hands. “Why are you telling me?” Did he think she should have told him? Was he pissed?

Carter shrugged, looking saddened if anything. At least, if he was pissed it didn’t seem to be directed at her. “I just never knew…”

Deserey nodded, making her head pound even more. “She probably didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to relive it. I don’t know. It's not really my place to talk about other people's rape. If you want to know the answers try talking to her about it, not me.” It might have come out more cold than she’d intended, but Carter didn’t seem too offended by it so she didn’t apologize for the attitude. “Let's just focus on what we’re here to do first, okay?” She turned her coms back on, hurrying off to find Mick.

Meanwhile, down the hall and up two flights of stairs, Leonard and Ray were having a confession time of their own. The duo had just entered the control room for the thermal core, as indicated by the sign on the door. There was an electric panel at the front, over looking a large operating room. Along the concrete floors several beds were spread out with sheets covering objects that bore a disturbing resemblance to something human. At the other end of the operation room, the duo spotted a large, round object with a hallow inside – the thermal core. Professor Stein was stepping inside it. Ray had been acting squirrelly the way there, so Leonard sighed, shutting the coms off. He didn’t really care what was bothering him, he just needed to make sure the idiot wasn’t about to jeopardize their mission.

“What?” Leonard demanded, staring at the scientist coldly.

Ray jumped, obviously guilty of something. “W-what do you mean what?”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “You've been acting strangely since we got back to the Waverider after taking that smuck in. So, what is it and how badly is it going to mess things up?”

Ray scoffed at the implication that he was going to mess up, but he didn’t argue against it. He hesitated a moment before turning his own com off. “Two things.” Leonard inwardly groaned, a bit sorry he even asked. “Uh, first, the more recent one, Dez. It's kind of… Well, I’m not sure if I even have a right to say anything about it, because it’s her business but it’s really –”

“Would you get on with it already, Raymond?” Leonard snapped.

“She tried to kill herself,” Ray said quickly. Then, a look of pure guilt washed over him. “Oh, gosh. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. Maybe she didn’t want anyone else to know. Oh no! I’m a bad friend!”

“I already knew she was suicidal. Stop rambling,” Leonard snapped again. Though, he couldn’t pretend he wasn’t the least bit concerned about that statement. Where were the rest of them? Where was Sara, or Mick, or Rip? Where was he? How was it that she had managed another attempt without his knowing it? They’d been watching her so closely… Well, obviously not closely enough.  He shook his head. “What's the other thing?”

Ray relaxed a little when Len said he’d already known, but he still looked perplexed. “Oh, uh, Mick is Chronos. Well, not Mick Mick, the one we know now, but a future Mick. He’s Chronos. He told me when Carter and I were chasing after him.” He frowned at Leonard's lack of response. “And you already knew that too, didn’t you?”

Leonard just stared back at him, completely unmoved by his confessions. This was what got him so worked up? Really? “He's my partner, Raymond. I’ve known him long enough to know how he fights. Doesn’t matter if he’s wearing stupid armor or not. Mick is still Mick.”

“Oh.” Ray let out a heavy sigh, apparently relieved to get those two things off his chest. “Okay.” Then, another concerned frown. “Does Mick know he’s Chronos?”

Len shook his head. “And you better not tell him either. He doesn’t need to know.” Ray looked like he wanted to protest, but before he could say anything, Leonard pressed the button to turn the coms on again, silently sending the message: the conversation was over and it wasn’t up for debate. Neither would be telling Mick about his future.

Ray turned his com back on, sitting in the chair at the panel. The conversation between Rip and the professor was still going on.
“Are you familiar with ultra-high-energy cosmic rays, Captain?” Martin asked. “The radiation released inside this chamber will kill anyone other than me.”
“Look, despite your impermeability to nuclear energy, you’re still quite vulnerable to bullets!” Rip said loudly. The Professor ignored him.
“I just need someone to take the core offline,” he said, “so I can remove it safely and shield it.”

Raymond took that as his cue to chime in. He started fiddling with the controls, grinning like an absolute full, apparently momentarily forgetting his worries. (At least they wouldn’t screw with the mission, Len thought.) “I’m all over it, Professor.”

Leonard spotted two guards dressed in navy green rushing in to stop the duo. He punched the first out easily before turning and knocking the second out as well with the butt of his Cold Gun. “We're all over it,” he corrected Raymond.
Stein ignored Leonard and went on to babble science with Ray. “Remember, Dr. Palmer, that shutting down the core incorrectly can lead to the creation of –”

Ray cut the professor off, sounding much too cheery for the topic they were discussing if you asked Leonard. “Strangeness, black holes, and uncontrolled fusion reactions that consume the universe? See? I was listening during class, Professor.” Leonard rolled his eyes, thinking that last sentence was a bit redundant, considering Professor Stein didn’t even remember having Raymond in his class, if he recalled the conversation he’d over heard between the two a while back correctly.

The professor ignored him, probably too preoccupied with whatever he was doing in the containment chamber to respond to such nonsense. Leonard stood by the door, watching for more guards. He was getting rather antsy. This was taking far too long for his liking. Over his shoulder he called out, “How we doin', Boy Scout?”

“Uh, point of fact,” Ray said, actually having the audacity to correct Leonard, “I completed all twenty-one merit badges, including Nuclear Science, so I’m an Eagle Scout.” As if that even mattered. Leonard just gave a curt nod, deciding it would be better – at the very least he wouldn’t be trying his patience so much – if he just didn’t bother talking to the geek. (He half expected Deserey to chime in with some snarky remark, but she stayed silent. Probably due to her being a bit off after her apparent suicide attempt, Len guessed.) 

Unfortunately, that plan had to be discarded rather quickly. Through the window at the front of the room and across the way, Leonard spotted Vostok briskly strutting her way across the catwalk. Leonard would have happily ignored her presence, except Ray spotted her as well and decided to comment on it. “Uh-oh. We got a problem. Valentina's headed toward the core containment unit. The radiation Stein's about to unleash –” He cut himself off, changing his sentence. “I-if she opens the door –”

Len let out a heavy sigh, as Ray stood from the chair. His patience was really wearing thin with this guy. “We’re here to stop Savage from building a nuclear powered superhero. Saving some commie broad ain’t on the agenda.”

Ray wasn’t about to give up the argument though. “Even if the radiation doesn’t kill her, Savage will, the second he finds out the lab’s been sabotaged!” Len rolled his eyes. He’d been right. Raymond Palmer's moronic heart was going to ruin everything, just not in the way Leonard thought it was. “Look,” Ray said. “We got to get her out of here.”

“Well, who’s gonna shut down the core, Raymond?” Leonard asked in one last desperate attempt to make him forget Vostok. “I skipped that merit badge.”
Evidently the professor was becoming irritated at Ray's selflessness too, because he piped up through the coms. “Raymond, why is the thermal core still running at full power?”
Ray hesitated for a moment, but then he made up his mind. He looked at Leonard seriously. “I’ll handle the core, you handle Valentina.” 

Leonard scoffed. “You’re willing to risk the mission for a woman you barely know?” That would have been bad enough if Raymond hadn’t been asking Len to do the same. He was getting fed up with people thinking he was some sort of hero. First Barry, thinking he could some how do better; then Rip, asking him to join him on this, in all honesty, probably doomed mission. Now, Ray was acting like he could get him to be some White Knight and shining armor for some lady that didn’t even matter to him. It was pathetic, really.

“Be helpful to others,” Ray shrugged, apparently quoting the Eagle Scout motto. Len shoved him back in the seat, thoroughly annoyed at this point. Clearly, he wasn’t going to do anything useful until Vostok was rescued, so against all his personal beliefs and morals Leonard had to do it.
“Thirty seconds,” Len hissed through gritted teeth. “I'll get Vostok. You kill the power for Stein. And, Raymond.” He gave the Eagle Scout a stern look, pointing a scolding finger in his face. “Promise me.” Ray gave a small nod in response. There was no need to elaborate. It was obvious what Leonard meant: promise me you won’t do anything stupid.

Leonard met up with the others on his way to save Vostok. Mick looked as annoyed as Len felt. Clearly he’d heard everything over the coms. Leonard started talking before he had the chance to voice any complaints. “She’s around the corner. Wait here for back if – and by that I mean when – things go south.” Mick gave a curt nod. He looked like he wanted to argue against this whole Vostok thing, but he had learned better (for the most part anyways) than to question Leonard’s judgment on a job, which as far as he was concerned that’s all this was.

Deserey and Carter followed Mick into the perfect hiding place for all three of them. (The laboratory provided many convenient shadowy areas for just that.) Leonard continued forward, hardly skipping a beat as he met Vostok around the corner. He held up a hand to stop her. “Bad idea.”

The scientist's eyes widened. “What are you doing here?”

Leonard huffed. “Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question.”

Vostok stared at him for a moment before a look a realization washed over her features. “That night at the Bolshoi. It was you who stole my keys.”

“And your wallet,” Leonard added with a dull shrug. “But it was nothing personal.”

Vostok shook her head, glancing over the side of the catwalk. Her eyes widened again, as she leaned against the yellow rails, spotting Stein in the containment center. “What the hell is that man doing? He has no idea what the core is capable of!”

It was very rare for Leonard to screw up. In fact, he could probably count all of his blunders on one hand. So, it was a bit irritating, knowing that he slipped up when Vostok whirled around. (Personally, he blamed Ray for pissing him off.) She tried to move past him, but Leonard stopped her. “Relax. He’s the one who invented it.” 

Vostok's eyes lit up, and Leonard winced as he realized his mistake. He could tell she was weighing her options, wondering how she could get past Leonard and get to Stein. Len was willing to bet she’d be pretty ruthless too. He was trying to consider his own options, but Stein started babbling through the coms again. “I'm the first person to have ever seen cosmic radiation with his own eyes!”
Then Raymond chimed in with more annoying sentences. “Well, let’s keep it that way. Snart, you better keep Valentina out of the core containment center.” As if he didn’t already know that. Honesty, for someone with more PHDs than Len cared to count he could be pretty dumb at times.

“You used me,” Vostok said, probably just stalling. “You work for the American government.”

Leonard shrugged. “I'm wanted by the American government, does that count?” She turned, and he kept going, feeling the words burn his insides like acid. He just wanted to get this over with already. “Look, I may be your White Knight just this once, but that weapon Savage has you building? He's creating a nuclear-powered monster.”

Vostok let out a small laugh. She turned again, raising a hand held gun in Leonard's face as she did so. “I know.” Leonard wasn’t all that surprised, if he were being honest. The scientist wasn’t unwittingly working for Savage. She’d been in on the whole thing all along. Go figure. “It was sweat of you to think of me as a damsel in distress, but…I’m not the one who needs rescuing.” Vostok reached over and took the Cold Gun for him. Leonard let her, knowing Mick would be around soon for back up. 

“Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart,” Leonard told her. “I’m not the sentimental type.”

“No,” Vostok agreed, apparently sensing that he wasn’t lying about that. “But you’re partner, the physicist with the big brown eyes, is.” She turned briefly to the room across from the catwalk, looking directly at Raymond through the glass. Vostok grabbed Leonard, pointing the gun under his chin as she stood behind him. “Turn the core back online.” Leonard saw Raymond standing up. Not good. Vostok must have seen too, because Len could practically hear her smirking with her next words, “You will turn it back on, or I will put a bullet in your friend’s head.”

“Don’t you dare,” Leonard hissed. “She’s going to shoot me whether you do it or not.”

“That may be true,” Vostok admitted, “and you can take that gamble if you like.” Leonard had to hand it to her. She really knew how to get what she wanted. He would have admired that under different circumstances. “It’s only his life you wager.”
“Almost there,” Stein reported.

“I'm not joking, Raymond. Don’t you dare push that button!” Leonard glared at him from across the room. Where the hell was Mick and the other two? Surely they were hearing this. Why were they being so quiet?

Apparently Len's warning went unheeded, because a second later the Professor cried out, “Raymond, what’s going on? The core just went back online!”
“Sorry, Professor. I had to do it,” Ray said.

“You idiot,” Len hissed.

I know I put a trigger warning at the beginning, but considering I even triggered myself while writing this part...I figured I'd better be safe.

The rest of the fight scene will take place in the next part of this chapter. (I'll have to stretch it into three parts instead of two.) It should be up soon after this one. I just have to do the author's note so...yep.