032
surrender

Bianca Prescott didn't realize how deeply entwined she was with JJ Maybank until she tried to walk away from him.

She knew then, as she strolled the barely-lit, empty streets toward the Sheriff's station, she didn't want to leave him. God, it was killing her to leave him. But she couldn't love him like this.

Bianca loved him like a crime scene before the crime was even committed. She kept her running shoes beside her soul every night, one eye open in case things changed while she slept. Her back stayed tense as though waiting to fight a sudden storm that might engulf her because she had already seen hell.

And since then, all she kept doing was pushing him away. If Bianca kept it up, she would only hurt him like Rafe hurt her. And the thought of scarring someone so deeply, and that someone being JJ, made her want to die.

Seven thousand, two hundred and twenty-six.

That's how many steps Bianca took. That's how far she walked to reach the Kildare County Sheriff's station. She kept count because she knew if she thought of anything other than putting one foot in front of the other, she would bail.

Bianca's heart pounded as she fidgeted with the shark tooth around her neckline. Bianca wasn't sad anymore. She was numb. And numb, she knew, was somehow worse.

The tall, white building towered over her. She knew once she walked in, there was no turning back. And yet, despite the agonizing ache pressing against her ribs, Bianca pushed the door open.

Glancing around, she noted the empty waiting room chairs on her right and to her left, a police radio crackling behind the reception desk. Bianca stopped in front of the white-haired lady with golden hoops working the counter and smiled politely.

"Well, hello there," She pushed her spectacles to the top of her head to see the girl better. "What can I do for you tonight, Miss?"

"Um," Bianca shifted, wringing her hands together. A cold draft breezed past her from where she forgot to shut the door, "I was hoping to see the Sheriff."

"Well, I'm afraid the Sheriff's tending to some very important business right now," The woman scoffed. "Is there anything else myself or any of the other deputies can do for you?"

Bianca shook her head, undeterred, "No, I just- I really need to see him. It's important."

"I'm sure it is," She folded her arms in front of her and leaned forward. "But like I said, unfortunately, I can't allow you to just waltz through the door at this time, you understand that, correct?"

Bianca stifled a scowl, "Could you just please tell him I'm here? Trust me, he'll want to see me," When the lady did nothing except arch an eyebrow, she persisted. "Just tell him my name. He knows I'm coming."

Bianca was lying, of course, Shoupe had no idea she was here. But she was counting on the fact that she helped him with multiple investigations and close cases he never even imagined solving. Bianca had the upper hand here, she just hoped the Sheriff remembered that.

"And your name is?" The woman hovered her hand over the black telephone at her side.

"Bianca."

"Bianca, what?" She pressed a single button to dial, and ringing emanated through the small speaker.

"Bianca Prescott."

The mention of her last name had the older woman stiffening, "Oh, I see," She breathed out and pressed the phone to her ear. She only waited a few moments before someone picked up on the other end, "Sheriff, a young girl by the name of Bianca Prescott, is here to see you. Says you knew she was coming?"

The woman gave a few hums of acknowledgment to the other person on the line. Finally, she let out a huff and placed the phone back in place. She glanced up at Bianca, her eyes devoid of emotion, and gestured for the girl to enter through the single white door at the end of the hallway.

A sudden jolt ran through Bianca's veins, the reality hitting her like a freight train but her face gave nothing away. She nodded curtly at the secretary before walking toward the door.

Every creak of her feet against the floorboards echoed like a bell tolling, counting down the last few minutes of her freedom. The doorknob felt colder beneath her fingertips and she shivered but not from the cold.

The few deputies doing their night rounds glanced up at the girl briefly but none bothered with anything except a polite nod before returning to their paperwork. From somewhere between their cubicles, a phone rang and Bianca noticed Deputy Thomas, the one who punched John B during his arrest, reach over to pick it up.

The silence was both deafening and yet, the loudest thing Bianca ever heard as she made her way toward Shoupe's office. She wasn't afraid to admit this was the most terrified she'd ever been.

What happened to her after this? Would Shoupe arrest her on the spot? Did she still get to have one last phone call and if so, who would it be to? Her mother, who she was sure hated her guts? JJ, who would crumble at the confession of what she'd done? Or Sarah who she'd left on bad terms with?

John B. Pope. Kiara. Cleo. Maybe she should've said goodbye to them. Or maybe, seeing them one last time would've made her change her mind. Maybe it would've made her regret even stepping foot into the station. Bianca couldn't risk that. They could visit her once everything cooled down.

Bianca's throat tightened the closer she got to Shoupe's door where the golden plaque no longer read 'interim.' Inhaling a sharp breath, she knocked and before she could regret it, pushed the door open.

"It's late, Bianca," Was the first thing Shoupe told her, placing the paperwork he was sifting through back on his desk.

It hadn't been long since she last saw him. Maybe only a month or so. Yet, she noticed he had more grey hairs, and his eyes seemed duller, more hollow. Bianca supposed that's what being Sheriff did to a person.

"Well," Shoupe arched an eyebrow and gestured to the chairs across from him. "Normally, I wouldn't do this but take a seat. What can I help you with?"

Bianca stared at the scattered papers on the desk and could hardly hear over the ringing in her ears. It was the missing person's report her mother requested a month ago before she knew Ward was alive.

Bianca's pursed her lips, and hesitantly shut the door behind her. She sat down on one of the rigid chairs while Shoupe swayed back and forth in his, "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Shoupe stopped swinging and leaned forward, "Right, then go on. We'll take any help we can get. I've been rechecking our leads..." He picked up a blue pen and glanced down to search for something. "Since all of them have pretty much fallen through. I just don't get it- something isn't adding up."

Bianca watched him look through his pile of papers for answers like a haystack with no needle. For some reason, the lack of eye contact lulled the girl into a false sense of security. At least she didn't have to see the look on Shoupe's face— the way it would morph from confusion to horror, to confusion again when she told him.

"Maybe..." Bianca's trembling hands joined together on her lap, preparing for the inevitable. Her words were shaky when she spoke again, "Because Ward Cameron isn't dead. And my dad, he isn't... just missing."

The words struck a chord in Shoupe and for the first time all night, he took a second to study the girl's face. The way her cheeks hollowed beneath the bone, her wet lashes, and the redness lining her eyes.

Shoupe's back straightened, "And how do you know this?"

Bianca didn't utter a word. She merely stared back at him.

And for the first time all night, maybe even since he knew her, Shoupe saw her for what she was. Not a mastermind who could single-handedly execute sting operations, or the girl who managed to dig up evidence to put known criminals behind bars.

But a kid. A kid who he and every other adult on this Island had failed. And those chords in Shoupe's heart splintered.

"Bianca, listen to me, okay?" He began slowly, ignoring the way her face fell. "It's late. You're tired. This is not the time nor the place for confessions," His tone was stern as if berating her. "I want you to think very carefully about what you're about to say to me right now."

He knew he shouldn't have been biased but there was something about Bianca's wild eyes that put him on edge. Shoupe didn't know her well but he knew her enough. Enough to know that he wouldn't let her make what he could tell was a mistake, even if it was at the expense of his case. He couldn't stop her completely but he could try.

Bianca could hear chairs scraping and some commotion behind her but she ignored it, "I have, Shoupe. I'm ready to talk-"

Before she could get another word out, she was cut off by Deputy Thomas' loud shout from outside, "Hey! You don't have clearance to be in here!"

The secretary's loud screeching voice followed, coupled with her heels clicking against the floor, "Young man! Get back here this instant!"

Bianca didn't even get a chance to turn around before JJ was bursting through the door into Shoupe's office, panting and out of breath. Her mouth dried up as she rose abruptly to her feet. She blinked to clear her glassy vision but her boyfriend was still there, and he wasn't leaving, no matter how much the deputies protested.

"Sheriff, I'm so sorry-" The secretary began. "He- he wouldn't listen-"

Shoupe raised a hand to calm them, "It's alright, Maude. Let him through," He gave a single nod and the other deputies returned to their chairs.

Maude, the woman who greeted Bianca at the reception desk earlier, glared the two teenagers down. Bianca didn't blame her, considering the ruckus JJ just caused through the station. She noticed his clothes were damp, not wet as if it were raining outside.

"Shoupe-" JJ shut the door behind him, his chest rising and falling deeply. "Whatever she told you she did- it wasn't her, it was me-" He gulped down a breath.

Bianca's eyes widened then narrowed, "JJ, what are you doing here?!" She whispered harshly.

"It was me," JJ repeated, more firmly this time. He straightened his spine, chest pushed forward, "She had nothing to do with it."

"Oh, Jesus," Shoupe fell back into his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"JJ, you're ruining everything," Bianca seethed quietly.

The blond boy followed her gaze to where Shoupe was watching both of them expectantly, "Oh..." Realization dawned on him that she had yet to admit anything at all.

Bianca's heart twisted, coming to her own sort of conclusion. Now that JJ was here, he wouldn't let her go to prison. He'd rather take the fall for her because that's just the kind of person he was. He'd do anything for the people he loved, for the girl he loved. Bianca's plans withered away to nothingness.

"Uh," JJ's gaze flickered between the two wearily. "We're just gonna head out now-"

"No, I'm not going anywhere with you," Bianca scowled, although she was more frustrated than angry at him. She turned back to the Sheriff, "Shoupe, can you please tell him to leave."

"I'm about to tell both of y'all to leave in a second if you don't tell me what the hell is goin' on," Shoupe snapped, slamming his pen back on the desk. Slowly, he rose to his feet, "Now, I don't really know what this is about but someone better start explaining and fast. I got a pile of paperwork to get through and y'all being here ain't making it go away."

The couple was silent for a moment, only their shaken breaths could be heard. The tension was suffocating, like a thick blanket smothering the room.

Bianca was the first to speak, narrowing her glare at her boyfriend, "JJ, let me do this."

"No," His answer was immediate. "No. You promised, B."

Bianca's nose wrinkled in confusion, wracking her mind for what kind of promise she made to him. But then it hit her— back in Barbados when JJ made her vow, that if it ever came down to it, if it were ever life or death, she would choose to save herself. And this right here, was dying before she could even begin to live. It was the ultimate death sentence.

Bianca swallowed thickly, "JJ..."

"I'm not leaving unless you're coming with me," JJ held her stare, and his face almost crumpled. "Please."

The simple word sent a stab of pain through Bianca's beating heart. His desperation was so evident, he would do anything to stop her from throwing her life away. Bianca's gaze turned glassy as she watched him, full of love but also contempt for getting in the way.

Finally, Shoupe pushed his chair out and stood up, "Look, go home," He ordered with a huff. "You two clearly need to get your story straight and I've got things to do."

Bianca's eyes widened in alarm when he rounded the table to usher them out, "No- Shoupe, wait-"

"I'm not hearing either of y'all out tonight, now go home," Shoupe began pushing them out of his door. "And if you even think of putting up a fight, I will personally ask Deputy Thomas to throw both of y'all in lockup till tomorrow morning, you got that?"

"Wait, just listen!" She begged hoarsely. "You're not listening to me."

"No, you kids always come in here, actin' all high and mighty," Shoupe scoffed, shaking his head. "If you got something to say, file a report like everyone else or get the hell out of my station-"

"You don't understand-" She protested.

"And frankly, right now, I don't want to," Shoupe towered over the girl, trying to close the door between them. "Goodnight, Bianca," He managed to slam it shut, the echo reverberating off the walls.

Bianca stared at the door, frozen in place. Her lips parted but no words came out. In the blink of an eye, her entire night had crashed and burned and not in the way she wanted it to.

JJ pursed his lips, assessing the way her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. He didn't know how to begin, "B..." He reached out to place his hand on her shoulder but she flinched away.

Without a word, Bianca turned on her heel and headed toward the exit. JJ's adam's apple bobbed as the deputies stared them down. His skin heated, ducking his head down and followed after her.

The moment Bianca pushed open the door, and icy rain hit her skin, the world collapsed.

Hard pellets of rain bit her skin, causing goosebumps to arise and her body to shiver but she could barely feel it. Sobs built in the back of her throat but she refused to let them surface, trying to cover up the mangled wounds of her heart with anger.

The Twinkie was parked haphazardly on the side of the road, illuminated by a couple of street lights. However, that too seemed to melt away with the tears blurring her vision.

And in the middle of all her chaos, there was Him.

"Bianca, wait!" JJ chased after her, his voice carrying down the empty road. Within seconds, his clothes were soaked, "B! Please—"

His voice sparked electricity within her. The kind that burned, not excited, "Why would you do that!?" She whirled around to face him with an accusing glare. "You fucked up everything, JJ! What is wrong with you!?"

The words were like a blow to his chest, yet another reminder that he was a fuck-up, just like his dad. He tried not to take it personally, however. JJ knew Bianca was just lashing out, "He- I- what?"

"I had everything under control!" Bianca shouted. "I had- I was going to-" She choked back a sob. "What are you doing here!? Why did you come!?" Her lips curled into a scowl as rivulets of water streamed down her face.

JJ couldn't tell whether they were tears or just the rain, "I came looking for you."

"Why?" She scoffed spitefully. "I didn't ask you to come looking for me!"

JJ's heart stuttered at the mocking in her tone, "I'll always come looking for you," He mumbled.

Tears pricked the edges of her vision, "Just leave me alone, JJ."

"No," He shook his head and tried to force a smile. "Your shit is my shit, remember?"

The words only exacerbated the ache in Bianca's heart. She didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve anything.

When the girl didn't reply, JJ felt a lump form in his throat. He shook his head quickly, "Bianca, can you come back, please? It's fucking freezing out here. Please, you're going to get sick," He tried to project his voice but it kept getting caught in his throat because he was terrified. He was so unbelievably terrified of what she could do.

Bianca was trembling but she paid it no mind. The cold was better than the feeling before. She crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't care—"

"Well, I care!" JJ couldn't help but let some frustration bleed into his tone. "Why are you acting like this? What is going on, B!? Tell me!"

A resounding crack echoed in the space between them, but only Bianca could hear it. The desperation in her boyfriend's voice was heartbreaking. And she knew what was wrong— it was like she was screaming but no one could hear her.

Every time she tried to find the words, they got caught in her throat, "I can't."

"Why?" JJ insisted, swallowing thickly.

"Because I'm scared," The whimper was almost lost in the pouring rain.

But JJ heard it, "Don't be," He took a firm step forward. "I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen to you as long as I'm here."

Bianca wanted to believe him. She really did. But Rafe's words had etched themselves into her skin and ingrained into her heart— They won't understand. We're the same now.

"But something bad did happen," She breathed out shakily. "I did something bad."

JJ took another step forward, "We can fix it."

"You can't fix it," Her tone hardened and she crossed her arms over her chest. "It's done. There's nothing you can do."

"What?" JJ's eyebrows drew together, shaking off the rainwater dripping from his hair. "B, what are you talking about? I'm coming over there-"

"No!" Bianca cried, stopping him short before he could take another step. "No, don't. Please don't," Her body was shaking with the cold. "I don't want you to hold me. Because if you hold me then I'll start to cry and I don't want to cry anymore. I'm so fucking tired of crying."

JJ's jaw clenched, his hands curling into fists, "Well, I can't just sit by and do nothing when you're falling apart in front of me!" He called over the rainstorm. "You're hurting. I can't fix that. But I'm not going to let you go through it alone."

Bianca's arms tightened around herself as if it would help hold the broken, seeping parts of her together. All it did was remind her of how cold she was. How empty she felt. She wanted JJ, she wanted his arms around her but she knew if she allowed herself to feel the warmth and comfort of his love, there was no turning back.

JJ's adam's apple bobbed, watching her through wet eyelashes, "Just talk to me. Please," He begged. "You need help. Let me help you-"

"You can't help me!" Bianca snapped, her eyes narrowing. "You- you don't understand-"

"No, I do!" JJ held her gaze with a knowing look. It made her eyebrows draw together, "I do understand, Bianca. Rafe, he..." He hesitated. "Rafe told me."

The silence after his confession was deafening. Bianca stood there for a moment, completely stunned. Her stomach twisted and she had to resist the urge to double over and throw up what little she ate that day.

"...Rafe," Her ribs caved. "Told... you?"

Bianca's vision swam. A panicked, caged bird was flapping inside of her. She could feel the desperate clawing, hear the thumping. Maybe it was her heart, for all she knew.

Bianca could see JJ's lips moving, but she couldn't hear him. The white noise drowned out the rain. It silenced everything except her own, torturous thoughts.

He was rambling, that much she knew. Something about how he was sorry, and that he loved her. He was apologizing but she couldn't understand what for.

"...I'm sorry I didn't realize earlier- I should've been there! I should've known!" JJ shouted over the rolling thunder. "But this wasn't your fault- do you hear me!?"

"Stop-" The words tore at Bianca's insides. Her breath shuddered and she clasped a hand over her mouth to bury her sobs, "Please, just-"

"He had a pulse," JJ announced, standing across from her with his arms limp by his sides.

Bianca's breath hitched, "...What?"

"His heart was still beating, Bianca," JJ nodded, peering through the downpour. "Rafe lied."

She shook her head, not wanting to believe it, "No. No, he wouldn't do that. Why would- why would he do that?"

We're the same now, Bianca. This is between you and me. They won't understand.

Bianca's mind spun dizzyingly, tilting on its axis. She begged Rafe to get help and instead, he lied to her. He was a liar. Her father wasn't supposed to die but he did. She could've saved him.

Bianca staggered backward numbly, and JJ reached forward as if to catch her. He needed to feel her, to hold her, and tell her everything was going to be alright. He was here now. She wasn't alone anymore. She never was.

Bianca shook her head, "No," Her bottom lip trembled, taking a step back. "No- I shot him-"

"But you didn't kill him," JJ held her eyes, refusing to break away. Refusing to let her go, "You didn't do this, B. Whatever happened wasn't your fault. You're not a murderer- Rafe is-"

"No- JJ, I still- " Bianca stuttered between shaky breaths. Tears slipped down her numb cheeks, blurring with the rain, "He would've-" A sob broke the surface.

Bianca clasped one hand over her mouth and another around her tightening throat. She was drowning, or suffocating, she couldn't tell which one. And yet, despite this revelation, she couldn't bring herself to be angry. Not at Rafe.

It was hard to believe JJ. Not because she thought he was lying. But because some part of her, deep down, knew that even though Rafe lied, her father wouldn't have made it anyway.

Her memory of the event was still hazy, like her mind tried to wipe it completely but she knew. She remembered the blood. How much of it there was.

How it stained her fingernails, how the slick plastered her skin in thick crimson. She remembered the stench, rancid like tar coating her lungs. There was so much of it.

This is not your fault. You're perfect. I love you.

Bile rose to her throat. Rafe may have lied but Bianca knew the truth. It was her fault. She may not have been the cause but she was the catalyst that killed her father. No amount of forgiveness could change that.

Bianca shook her head, letting out a broken sob, "You didn't see him, JJ-" She gasped for breath as if she was reliving the moment again. "You weren't there-"

"But I should've been!" JJ pleaded. "I should've been there- and I'm sorry!" He tried to move closer to her, slowly so he didn't scare her. "But I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere, alright?"

Bianca's heart wrenched, desperate to hold onto those words. JJ wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't going to leave her.

But Rafe's voice in her head told her otherwise. They won't understand. We're the same now, Bianca.

"Bianca," His words were soft despite the heavy rain. "Your dad wouldn't have wanted this."

Bianca's face crumpled, "Guess we'll never know now, will we?" Every muscle in her body was weighed down and achy. "Besides, how would you know what he wanted?" Her skin pricked at the assumption. "You hated him- I hated him! You know, I told him I wished he was dead? What if-" She squeezed her eyes shut. "What if it wasn't an accident? What if I meant to pull the trigger-"

JJ watched her struggle between the warzone in her head. Sobs wracked her trembling body and her knees threatened to buckle but she held herself upright. Only a few more steps and JJ could have her in his arms. He was so close.

"Even while he was dying, I couldn't-" Another sob, another revelation threatening to drown her beneath the torrents of grief. "I never forgave him- I was so angry but- he- he begged me and I couldn't even give him that-"

Gone was any semblance of composure Bianca was holding onto. The air became too thick to swallow. Her shoulders shook with every cry, every desperate gasp for breath.

She kept having to remind herself that she wasn't having a heart attack, that she wasn't dying. She wondered if this was how her father felt during his last breaths.

"I never forgave him," Bianca choked back. The realization tore her insides to shreds. It hurt, everything hurt. She just wanted it all to stop.

"Bianca..." JJ trailed off, unsure what came after it. He couldn't promise her things were going to get better because he didn't know himself.

The weight of her confession anchored JJ's heart. He couldn't imagine living with such guilt but he was determined to shoulder it with her.

Somehow, Bianca had become a part of who he was. She was in everything he did. She was in the air he breathed, the water he drank, and the blood in his veins. Her touch stayed on his skin and her voice remained in his ears, and her thoughts replayed in his mind.

JJ knew her flaws, the shadows of all her secrets, and yet, they still made her perfect. They didn't frighten him away. In fact, he loved her more for it. JJ wanted her. He would do anything for her.

Bianca shook her head, drawing him out of his thoughts, "I don't know how much longer I can do this for, JJ."

The boy's eyebrows furrowed, shifting on his feet. The rain had drenched him, forcing his clothes to stick to his skin uncomfortably but he didn't care. Something about her words made him stop breathing.

"I'm trying..." Bianca whimpered. It was her anger that kept her alive but now that was gone, nothing was tethering her anymore, "I'm trying so hard not to act how I feel but I don't..."

JJ could read between the lines and the moment it clicked, the sickening weight of dread settled in his guts. His lips parted but no words escaped him. He knew what she was trying to say but hearing it felt like his whole world was crashing around him.

The silence spurred her to keep talking, "I just mean-" Bianca choked out between wet gasps. "I don't know if... if I have it in me," Like a shard of glass that never left, she prayed in time the edges would dull. But it never did, "I can't take it anymore. Turning myself in... it's- it was the only thing I could think of to- so I didn't- to stop myself from..."

JJ swore he never felt anything like this before. It was like his heart had been torn apart. Not crushed, not shattered, but torn. Ripped. Slowly. He felt the agony of every single vein tighten like a childish game of tug of war, and then snap.

"Don't."

It was Bianca's turn to frown, "What?"

"Don't say that," JJ commanded lowly, taking another step forward. "Don't fucking say that- you don't mean that."

Through Bianca's glassy vision, she met JJ's hardened glare. His jaw clenched, and his eyes held hers through wet eyelashes. By his sides, his knuckles curled into fists, and then flexed as if trying to loosen the stiffness of his muscles.

"Don't you get it?!" JJ pleaded above the torrents of rain stinging his skin. It hammered against the pavement as he took another step forward, "I'll always be here- I don't want you going anywhere!"

Bianca froze. She didn't reply but she saw JJ's mask begin to crack. The rain whipped down like crystal nails and streaky lightning emblazoned the sky but she still saw it. A tear slipped and trailed down his neck. It was different from the rain dripping from the soaked hair on his forehead. It was filled with pain and hurt for them both.

"So whatever you want to do to yourself- please," JJ begged, tears blurring his vision. "Please don't do that to me."

This time, JJ lifted his hand out for her to take, and Bianca glanced between his eyes to his open palm before hesitantly taking a step forward. His fingers grazed hers and he almost began sobbing in relief when she was within reach.

"Please," JJ sighed softly, pulling her into his embrace and feeling her finally, finally surrender.

Bianca stood rigid at first before he felt her mold into the curvature of his body. And when her knees threatened to give way he still held her in his arms as she cried. She sobbed in his arms and JJ felt his heart shatter like it did once upon a time in her room after Midsummers.

When she cried it wasn't pretty like how she was so used to holding herself together. It was violent. She fisted his shirt, face pressed into his chest to avoid the world while embracing her own. He was the only thing keeping her standing, the only person still tethering her to this place.

"'M sorry," Bianca let out a quiet sob into the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, baby," JJ whispered into her ear, running his fingers through her dark curls. Truthfully, he didn't know what she was apologizing for but it didn't matter now as he cooed, "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay," She continued to ramble, her voice broken by soft whimpers. "Nothing's fucking okay."

"It will be," JJ's chest ached as he squeezed his eyes shut.

He stroked her hair, placing gentle kisses against her skin every now and then so she knew he was there. His teeth were chattering slightly from the cold but he held onto her body with all his might and didn't let go until his arms went numb from the the cold.

JJ tenderly rocked her, "Just breathe. It's okay, now," He whispered. "Breathe. I've got you."

"I can't do it anymore, JJ," Bianca whimpered helplessly. She sounded so broken, he almost lost it then and there, "'M so tired."

"I know, princess," JJ's lips pressed against the crown of her head. "But you don't have to be anymore. I love you so much. You've been so brave, my strong girl. I love you."

JJ held her the whole while, close to his chest, near to his heart which wrenched at every whimper and sob she let out. And when her cries reduced to soft sniffles, he kissed her forehead, her nose, and both apples of her cheeks to soothe the pain.

Bianca pulled away and JJ's hand cupped her cheek. She leaned into his palm, placing a kiss there with a breathless whisper, "I love you."

JJ knew what she did, looked her demons in the eye, and smiled. Bianca wasn't beautifully broken. She was ripped to shreds from the inside out.

But JJ fell for the very thing she thought he'd fear. Her hands were scarred with murder and yet, JJ trusted them completely. Eternally.

author's note. hi this chapter is dedicated to you girlies who've been strong for so long. i promise it does get better. and if no one's told you yet today, remember that i love you x10000000000 <3 muah!