A Plea To The Darkness
Chihiro was confined to her room for almost two days before her grandfather finally came to see her. During her detention she had been very quiet, simply pondering what the creature in the cell had told her.
At least her vomiting was now diagnosed. That was a good thing at least. What she was having a difficult time coming to terms with was the fact she had been lied to. No, lied was too strong a word; she had not been trusted to know the truth of what was happening with her own body. She had been kept ignorant by those she loved and it hurt.
She knew they thought they were doing the best for her, but concealing such information from her was not only hurtful, it was dangerous. She could have done all sorts of damage to her child without knowing it. Wasn't alcohol bad for pregnant women? She could not quite remember, but she had a vague idea that it was. Her grandfather had given her sake to drink! What about all the medicine Yubaba had shoved down her throat over the past few weeks? Were they safe for her child? She worried constantly and had even taken to pacing her chamber until her servant had made her sit down.
When her grandfather finally appeared on the evening of the second day she was almost angry with him. Surely he should have been to see her sooner? Did he not know how distressed she had been? Even Yubaba visited her, though the old crone had refused to answer any of her questions.
Kenshin did not even knock. He let himself into her rooms and dismissed her servant with a curt order. Chihiro refused to look at him. She was seated by the fire and continued to stare at the flames that leapt in the grate. She did not know how to express what she felt so remained silent.
Her grandfather lowered himself to the floor opposite her.
"You have every right to feel angry," he said softly. She blinked in surprise and looked at him. His expression was, as ever, impassive.
"You have been gravely ill," he said in a subdued tone. "I did not want to burden you with extra concerns. You have not been stable for long and I wanted you to be as well as possible before I told you." He ran his hand through the dark strands of hair that framed his face, his body language showing the frustration he felt even though his face easily concealed the emotion.
"I did not think our guest would risk your sanity in such a way. I..." He was interrupted as Chihiro snatched his free hand.
"I know you were concerned for my welfare," she said carefully. "But I am glad I know, I could have hurt it by staying ignorant." Her grandfather shook his head.
"It is more likely to hurt you than you it," he murmured. Chihiro frowned, not understanding. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Your child is different." Chihiro's frown deepened.
"What do you mean?" she half demanded. He was silent for a moment and she realised her tone had surprised him. She had never demanded anything from him. She had asked questions but never in this manner. She felt briefly like an ungrateful child, he had done so much for her! But she also needed to know.
"Your child..." he began reluctantly, "is not fully human. It is half spirit and so is much more resilient than a normal child. You will need magical help to carry it until it is ready to be born or it could drain so much of your energy it could kill you. Even if you were in perfect health it could still kill you in the final stages of the pregnancy and you are far from in perfect health.
"What?" Chihiro half squeaked.
"Now you see why I wanted you to recover as quickly as possible and I thought that knowing you were with child would be yet another burden to an already overburdened mind. Once you were fully recovered I had every intention of telling you that you were with child." Chihiro winced as her stomach twisted with guilt. She was so ungrateful! Her grandfather had only tried to protect her.
She still thought that the beautiful man in the cell meant her no harm either. He probably thought it best she knew. She was surprised that she wanted to think the best of him. He was a prisoner of her grandfather, but part of her needed to believe Haku had acted in her best interests. She was glad that she knew, thrilled even; she was going to have a baby!
But one burning question remained. Who was the father? There had to be one, surely, spells could not make women pregnant could they?
She shook her head, feeling the familiar haze of confusion muddle her thoughts again, but she managed to hold onto her question. She took a deep breath and slipped her hand from her grandfather's.
"Who...?"
"You don't need to know that," interrupted her grandfather quickly. She looked at him, wide-eyed. He would not tell her?
"Trust me," he said with a small smile. "You will know in time, but for the moment you must content yourself with the information you have."
She felt the bitter sting of disappointment in her chest.
He cupped her chin in his hand gently and tilted her face up to meet his gaze. The grey eyes stared deeply into hers.
"You trust me, don't you?" he asked in a whisper.
"Of course," she responded immediately. She did not even have to think about her words.
"Then believe me when I say that I know what is best in this situation," he said with a small smile. He rose and patted her head in a paternal fashion.
"What about Haku?" she asked suddenly. Her grandfather's face darkened.
"What about him?" he asked in a chilly tone. Chihiro bit her lip, suddenly unsure if she should say what was on her mind.
"He... he won't get into trouble will her? I mean... for telling me... He's not a bad person..." The words tumbled out of her mouth without her really considering them. Her grandfather smiled at her.
"Of course not," he replied. "But I think it is best if you stay away from him for a while." He sighed and glanced at the fire. "I was afraid something like this would happen," he said softly. "I made a promise, however. If nothing else I have to try to fulfil that."
"A promise to who?" asked Chihiro, her curiosity prompting her to ask yet more questions.
"To you," he murmured, "before you were ill."
He left her then, bidding her goodnight and closing the door to her room softly behind him. Chihiro heard it lock with a muted click.
With nothing else to do and no one to talk to she went to bed. She thought she might have a bad night, so stayed awake for some time; dreading the possibility of nightmares. Her dreams turned out to be completely benign. She saw herself swimming in a large lake. The cool water bubbled around her. It almost sounded like joyous laughter.
Haku was asleep when his door banging open woke him. The first thing he registered was that it was still night. No one should be in his cell until morning. The second thing was a hand around his throat that was quickly cutting off his air supply. He was lifted from the ground and slammed into the wall behind him. The little air that was left in his lungs escaped with a whoosh. He gasped and choked, kicking out against whatever held him. His foot connected with what he thought was a knee. He squinted at the black shape that held him. He recognised the grey eyes, even in the gloom of the cell. He kicked harder. His nails were usually kept short so not to harm his soft-skinned mate; they had now grown long and they very effectively slashed at the hand that gripped his neck. He smelled blood and knew he had inflicted damage, but the hand only tightened, threatening to break bone.
"You are more devious than I gave you credit for, Kohaku," said Kenshin softly. There was no anger in the spirit's tone. Haku realised that this visit was a result of cold calculation, rather than anger. If the spirit really had lost his temper he would have done something like this immediately after Chihiro's visit, not three days after the event.
Haku knew the only thing saving him from a broken neck was the collar Kenshin himself had put on him. The spirit seemed to notice this too and pushed Haku harder against the wall to compensate.
"I had hoped you had given up your foolish notions of stopping me," the air spirit continued conversationally. "You must have worked out by now that you do not have enough time to escape before the spell is complete." He slackened his grip only to slam the dragon a third time into the wall. Haku's head spun and his hands fell uselessly to his sides. If the spirit was determined to give him a beating then he could not prevent it.
"Or perhaps you thought your little mate would aid you when she saw the truth," sneered the Night Wind. "She has completely forgotten you. The depth of your delusion is fascinating." The spirit loomed closer. "No matter what happens, no matter how much you tell her, she will always believe in me. Even if she falls for you again in the future and you become mates once more, even if you father more half breed children with her... She will always trust me more than she trusts you and that is something you will have to learn to live with."
Kenshin backhanded him across the face with his free hand. Haku felt his lip split open. Kenshin's face was now so close that Haku could smell his breath. There was a scent he could detect that pulled at his memory, but he could not place the odour while he was being half choked. He knew he would not suffocate; indeed, if he prepared his body he could hold his breath indefinitely. It all came down to his access to power again. Without it, he was little better than a human. His instincts wanted him to panic as his lungs laboured. He trembled within his enemy's grip, calming himself through a sheer force of will. He would not shame himself before Kenshin, he refused.
"If you want your pretty mate to be yours again at any point in the future I strongly suggest you be a good little lizard and never try anything this stupid again." Kenshin's grip loosened slightly. Haku gasped and nearly wept with relief. "You will stay away from all topics I deem unfit when you talk to her from now on. If you disobey me it will be Chihiro who suffers."
Kenshin tilted his head to one side and treated the dragon to a truly malicious grin.
"How long do you think she will survive the separation symptoms if I prevent her from seeing you? Three months? Perhaps six? I wager eight before she is completely insane; she is a strong woman after all."
Rage claimed Haku despite his best efforts and he kicked out again at Kenshin with a snarl. His leg met a fist. He was punched in the thigh and he felt the bone snap. He could not even cry out properly, just gurgle and squirm. Kenshin continued to talk as if Haku had done nothing.
"I have no wish to harm your mate, she is a great comfort to me." He leaned forward to whisper in the dragon's ear. "You would do well to remember exactly how close I am to her. If I chose to I could exploit her trust in a way I know you would feel." Haku stilled. His heart actually stopped beating briefly. He could not be serious! The hand at his neck was suddenly gone. Haku collapsed to the floor wheezing. Kenshin stood over him, smirking.
"But I think my preferred method of punishment would be to make her hate you. I could pour poison into her ears every day and she would believe me, bond or no bond. She may need to see you but I am fairly sure she would never let you see your firstborn." Kenshin glanced at the ceiling as if pondering.
"Yes, I can see it now, the evil dragon who stole her from her human family, cast an insidious spell on her to bind her to him then raped her repeatedly until she got with child. The shock she was in at such treatment caused the amnesia..." The Night Wind chuckled to himself, as if impressed with the brilliance of his own fabrication.
"I saved her and locked you up. I could not kill you as I would have liked, because of the spell you had put on her. The spell means that she must see you..."
He laughed again.
"As unpleasant as she would find the experience she would see you so her child would have a mother. However, I doubt she would even speak to you ever again."
Kenshin crouched to Haku's level.
"How would it feel to be feared and despised by that which is most precious to you?" he asked softly.
Haku merely shook his head, at a loss for what to say.
"I could, given your cooperation, give her back to you once the worlds are one. If I say you are worthy of her love then she will believe me. We could be one happy family and I could protect you all from the side effects of the unification. The choice really is yours, Kohaku."
Kenshin stood.
"Consider your priorities. Is acting against me worth the loss of your mate?"
The Night Wind turned and left without another word.
Haku let his mind go numb as his body started to repair itself. It was some time before he could fit the pieces of the fragmented puzzle before him together, but he did it eventually. So this was the true reason behind Kenshin allowing Chihiro to make it to his fortress unharmed and live with him. He had tried to slow her down of course, he was not stupid. He also knew she would not give up her quest to reach him either... In fact he had been counting on it. The longer she took the closer the spell came to completion, but he needed her here in the final days of the spell and Haku now thought he knew why.
He now recognised the scent on Kenshin's breath. Fire grass. The spirit was accessing all his power at once to bring his spell to fruition and the only reason he was still lucid was down the fire grass. Even with such a powerful magical stimulant, Kenshin did not perhaps have enough power to complete the spell.
He needed Haku much more than he had let be known. Had he even planned the bathhouse attack to capture Haku rather than Chihiro? Had it been a double bluff? If that were the case then all his assertions of duty towards Chihiro were also empty. Related they were, but that meant little. She was a means of controlling a tricky prisoner as the jailer would become too weak to do it himself.
If the spirit had felt any family ties to Chihiro then he would have never threatened her wellbeing in the ways he had just described. Haku was now convinced his mate was only alive because Kenshin needed his power. That put her in an even more precarious situation than he had previously thought. There were no guarantees anymore. What was there to stop Kenshin disposing of them both after his spell was complete?
Nothing...
Haku felt a paralysing chill creep over him. There was nothing he could do. His mate was at the mercy of a cold-blooded killer who had played a very subtle game of subterfuge and misdirection. It was possible that the only truth in all this was the Night Wind's intention to reunite the worlds. Why he wished to do that Haku was no longer certain. For power? For revenge on the Old Ones? To alleviate his boredom? Haku was certain it was nothing as altruistic as saving the spirit and human world from destroying each other. That was another convenient lie.
Haku thought he had known despair before, he had been wrong about that too. This was true despair. No matter what he did, no matter what he tried, he knew he could not risk his mate's safety. Even if his mate was prophesied to save the worlds, what difference did that make against this situation? She did not remember her quest. She did not remember him... Yet, there it was, the scar on the back of his hand was throbbing slightly. He brought his hand shakily to his bleeding lips and kissed the scar.
"I have faith in you, my love," he whispered, his voice rasping painfully. "You are all that matters to me." He pressed his forehead to the scar and closed his eyes. "I believe only in you," he sighed. The scar was warm against his forehead. He smiled and felt blood run into his mouth as his injured lip split open again. "All you have to do is believe in me too, little one." His voice broke and he half sobbed. "Please," he implored to the blackness of his cell. "Believe in me."
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