Yes love, and he is a boy, not a girl, I know, amazing right? He is just... amazing heh that's the only way I can describe him. Wait no, I'm wrong He is...
Amazing
Antisocial (whick is really cute, but in his element he is... heh really just... there is no word i can think of to discribe him.)
Beautiful
Curious
Determined
My Everything
Funny
Generous
Happy around me
Incredible
Justified
Shy
Not afraid to show when he is worried or sad or pissed.

And it's odd, my friend introduced us because she role played with him on undertale.

I said "hey can I role play with him?" She said sure and gave me his email. And I introduced myself. And his name was so familiar, it made me sick not knowing who he was.

He was the kid in Math who had a small amount of friends. He also seemed, to always be happy. One of the people he hangs out with is someone that has known me since grade school. So once we got that situated out and it just went on like that.

We met on a Wednesday? (We had a parade the day) I frogot the exact date, so by that next Friday, not even a week and a half after we met, he has seen parts of me not even my best friend has seen. And he has helped me out.
A kid that means nothing.
A kid that has never had a boyfriend that didn't leave me after 3 months because he had to move.
More a less a friend that lasts more than two years.

So that second Friday I asked for his number. I think he passed it in the rush that we get out early. Anyways I got his discord, and not even 5 minutes after I got my account set up, I messeged him. We talked for hours.

I'm surprised he didn't get sick of me. Still am not even five days later (12/8/17). The next day we got connected with my friend and we talked all day almost. I remember just double clicking his picture and watch him play team fortress II or Assassins Creed Origins, ir just sit and play T or D.

In our spare time, we would play a question game to find out about more of each other.

The next day, not even a full 13 days after we met...
He asked me out on 12 /10/17.
This broken mess of crap.
A screw up
And sometimes really damn depressed.

This kid (i say kid but he is a mobth older than me) asked me out. I was stunned and I still am. So I said yes. He was surprised,  and doubled check that I wasn't joking.  I wasn't.  I said yes to him. How else to put it.

And if he's willing to- put aside all of his anxiety, and fears to ask me out and be Determined to hug me today (12/12/17) then, he is amazing.

Everytime I see his picture (my background picture.  ▲•▲) it sends butterflies in my stomach. His nickname is Mav like mine is Shadow. Two misfits in this world and we're together.  I hope this stays all good. Because while I have never known what love love is. I hope what I feel for him is real. Because if not... then what is?

And I'm not afraid to say this. I'm in love with him.

He finds my gramatical errors funny. My accent also funny and me, number one on cuteness scale, or so he has told me. (Which I retaliate and say it's him, my stuff animal, the dog that i am dog sitting then it's me i'm fourth.) But he doesn't give up until I say fine.

He said  that now he's met me, I-i've gave him a reason to wake up. I've made him want to live on, and-and not question life and why he gets up every morning. And it's amazing that I am able to do that, to have that effect.  And... he said because of me, he started caring. 

It feels dumb to be crying when I was writing that paragraph. But it also feels SO right. He is amazing,  and when he feels down. I feel down, and I believe that it's the same way vice versa. Well I should probably get up and get ready for school.  I can't wait to see him.

~Shadow pupper