Issy helped with dinner, Julian chancing glances at her intermittently and watching his father's eyes wander after Iss as she exited and re-entered the room.

She was introverted too, not her usual joyous self and Julian hated to think it was possibly (what was he thinking- probably... Julian groaned to himself) his father's doing.

The door bell sounded and Julian went down the narrow entrance hall to answer it, bringing Mark back moments later into the brightly lit living room.

John nodded in a huff and took another glass full of scotch for himself.

"Mark! What are you doing here?" Sally called out from the kitchen.

"Sorry to interrupt dinner, I was hoping I could change Issy's mind with these" Mark was an operator; he held in his hand, two tickets to the hot Broadway smash musical CATS. "Last minute seating, lucky hey!"

"Wow that's great" Issy smiled carefully, suitably impressed with his overtures but he wasn't who she wanted to be with. She knew it now.

"I'm going fucking home" John stood abruptly "Call me a car"

"Dad come on. Dinners ready just a few minutes" Julian turned around from the dining table, annoyed at his dad's sudden need to depart.

"Fuck dinner, sorry Sal. Call a fucking cab or car or bus, I don't fucking care, just do it" John hissed as he found his jacket, tugging it on, never looking up, never seeing Issy's crestfallen face. She turned back to Mark and worried her lip once again.

If she continued on this tangent her lip would likely fall off.

She walked slowly over to John to help him with the coat he seemed to be having more trouble than necessary pulling on.

Glancing up finally, he noted her eyes. She was worried and even a little confused. He leaned in to whisper with clear annoyance of his own failings "Go Isabelle, can't do that shit with me, can you now. Fucking paps would have a bloody field day" John stumbled to the right and moved quickly to outstep her body, not giving Issy a second to respond.

He tripped over the few baby toys left lying haphazardly about and finally found a clear path to the door.

The door slammed shut and silence swallowed the room.

Mark broke the spell "Have to go right now to catch the start Issy" Mark skirted past Julian to reach Issy as she stared at the closed door, her insides ripping in two, a little stunned at her own feelings. "Issy, jacket?"

Issy.

John called her Isabelle.

Julian stood in the small foyer of the apartment helping her with coat, Mark was already by the elevator pressing the 'down' button.

"Mum, here" Julian pressed a key into the palm of her hand, Issys eyes quizzed his own. "Dads - the Dakota. If you... If you want to check in on him after the show..."

"I don't think I should. He was angry." Issy huffed, she was so over worrying about everything and everyone in her life. Did she really want or need to worry about John too.

"Keep it. Just in case" Julian hugged her close "Have a nice time Ma" He kissed her cheek and watched her walk toward Mark, who grinned just a little too smugly for Julian's liking.

The show was stunning, everything Issy thought it would be, and more. The costumes, the choreography and music. The atmosphere and ambience of the theatre was stunning. Mark settled into her side and was attentive and assertive. He was nice, ok, she decided.

"Thank-you for the show it was amazing Mark" Issy gushed unrepetantly as they followed the flood of patrons exiting the theatre "I never knew it would be quite so mind blowing!" Mark smiled, holding her hand leading her behind a group of tuxedos and ball gowns. Issy felt so frumpy and ill dressed as she watched the group of beautiful people meander and laugh as they entered a coffee house.

"Drink? Nightcap Issy? There's a nice little jazz bar up ahead" Mark tugged her along and led her into a deep and darkly cavernous club filled with jazz, dancing and warmth. The lovely interior melted into the scene creating a shadowy, intimate setting. "Martini?"

"Gin and orange please" Issy tried to relax into the red velvet seating as she watched some patrons mill by the bar and others dance tightly on the red and black diamond patterned dancefloor.

Mark placed the drink by her hand and Issy said her thanks. He then settled in close beside her watching the scene alongside her, placing an arm along the back rest smoothly. A practiced move Issy thought to herself, the way he kept his eyes planted on the band and let his body move closer to her.

Smiling politely, Issy sipped the drink and they chat amicably about Sally, the baby, and mutual places of interest in New York. Mark bought Issy another gin straight after the first then another, confusing her. So quick the replacement she thought she was still on the second. The effects slowly enveloped Issy with a small fire of internal flames and her eyes felt heavy from the liquor.

Plus- She hadn't eaten dinner.

Placing her coat back on Issy slipped her fingers in the pockets for her gloves, the night was unseasonably cool.

They strolled slowly along the street back towards the theatre where a cab rank sat filled with a good number of vacant cabs.

The lights this side of the street were dimmed somewhat. The other side- all neon banners, were blinking and wildly flashing various Play names, and advertising the upcoming season.

Under an awning, in front of a closed ticketing agency, Mark moved in. He pulled her close, pressed himself flush and ran fingers over her hair and down her back. Pressing, kneading.

Touching her cheek, she imagined he thought he was making her feel special and wanted, desired even. He spoke with a deep baritone murmur, telling her she was lovely, his eyes held hers, filled dark with unspoken needs.

He kissed her cheek softly while his hands ran over her shoulders, arms and back. Intoxicated enough to feel mushy she let it happen. Closing her eyes she was wrapped in a gin induced blanket, his hands did fell good...

But as soon as she felt his lips upon hers, her eyes snapped open.

Too quick- too much- for her addled brain. Much too much.

Finally, Issy was awakened from the stupor and realised the truth...

The real reason she wanted to run away from this kiss.

The kiss didn't belong to John.

Pushing Mark away, taking a quick step back, she put him at arm's length but his fingers caught her sleeve. Her breath rushed out of her. All of a sudden a panic edged into her emotions at her proximity to him. At how he was stronger, bigger than her. At the night and darkness and this side of the street being so much quieter than the other.

"Come on Issy, loosen up, have some fun. I promise to make tonight wonderful for you" Mark pulled her rather forcefully back into his embrace, with promises of more and she turned her face away, toward the lights "I won't tell Lennon our little secret. Jules doesn't need to know" He whispered over her skin, then he dived in a second time.  Squeezing her bottom, moving her body tight into his throbbing appendage. Everything he wanted from her was now evident. Too quickly.  Everything was occurring so speedily, escalating so fast...

Something snapped inside, she pushed again, successfully breaking free this time. Issy turned, running into the busy street. A car braked hard, rubber burning, barely missing her by inches. Gasping she spun around disorientated.

She had to find the cab rank.

As Mark made his way across the lanes of traffic, she slipped into a cab and pressed the lock button.

"Issy I'm sorry stop, come on." He banged on her window "Let me in the cab, we can ride around New York together for a bit and calm down. Then-" Issy touched the drivers shoulder to hit the gas.

"Issy" was yelled once move, the cab boot clobbered, then he was gone. The cab was now down the block, turning the corner.

She was upset that she had been so rude, ungrateful for the, til then, brilliant evening.

But she never asked for kisses, or to be plied with liquor....but then again, she only had herself to blame. She never categorically said no either.

Two laps of Central park and the driver was tut-tutting, worried his passenger didn't have any cash. He glanced in the rear-view mirror as the hidden key circled and moved against her fingertips. Her eyes downcast, gazing upon it as it glint up at her every now and then, every time the cab passed under streetlights.

He would be drunk no doubt about it.  He was half way there at Julian's. He would be pissed about Mark too. He would be alone with his thoughts and mountain them high...

"The Dakota please" Issy glanced about, worried Mark had followed her somehow. She wasn't embarrassed about going to John but the whole world didn't need to know either.

The building was like an ominous monolith, the sides stark, touching the sky, outer gates of the entrance in place since that cold December night his life changed. Issy alighted from the cab uncertain and still very unsure. She stood watching the cab drift back into the endless flow of traffic. A security guard eyed her as she neither came, nor went. No stray fans hovered in the street this late at night. The sound of police sirens made her jump as a herd of five raced, lights blaring-sirens singing, through the street, metres behind her.

Issy walked toward the guard, who nodded in greeting.

"I'm here-"  Issy hesitated.

Surely if she said 'I'm here to visit John Lennon' she would be laughed at... Heckled for being a middle-aged fangirl in the middle of the night, then sent on her way.

Her legs halted her. She needed to leave. This was beyond silly... Trying to see a superstar without an appointment or her name listed at the door.

She swung herself around to leave.

"Miss?"

Then just as quickly swung herself back after the security guard called out to her.

"It's ok I'll be on my way. I don't think I can –"

"Miss Issy?" The guard, with the 'Frank' name badge, enquired "Issy... Julian left your name at the desk. Said you may drop in"

Issy bit her cheek "Yes, I'm Issy. Julian's... my daughter Sally's, fiancé" That was all the confirmation he required, the gate squeaked open and Issy was led inside.

"That little Ivy's a doll. I bet you're proud of her, beautiful little bub she is, always chirpy" Frank smiled, his eyes lit up chatting about the babe. Happily guiding Issy to the lifts, he waited for the door to open, then he leant in and pressed the floor she required.

"Oh yes" Issy's nervousness disappeared in a blink with thoughts of Ivy "She's an angel"

"Any problems you just let me know. Nice to meet you. Have a good night" The elevator door slide shut.

There she then stood, alone, watching the numbers click over, lifting ever higher. She mulled over her being her as she ascended

...'whatever am I doing here...shouldn't I run? '