Warning: Steamy chapter ahead... Not safe for work.

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We had stopped at a pharmacy on the way to grab protection before finding a hotel. She objected to my choice of accommodation—one of the four star ones—but I waved my hand and said I was paying anyway. That resulted in more complaints, but after I briefly stated that it would be pocket change to me, she fell quiet.

The air in the elevator was still and echoey, especially with only us in there the long way up. I was almost distracted by the racing thoughts in my head that had me second-guessing whether I could really do this and wondering what I should be doing now.

Should I grab her hand? Or do I wait until we are in the room?

When we are in the room, do we just get started? Do I just kiss her straight away? Or should we ease into it?

Does she want to talk openly about all the logistics or make it some lost-in-the-moment hookup?

But when I glanced over at Emma whose gaze was fixated on the ground, crashing through my thoughts with such speed and force was the memory of the last time I had been in an elevator.

Olivia's eyes turned down, avoiding mine.

Luggage in hand.

Flecks of Ben's blood still caked under her nails.

If I did this, wouldn't I be betraying her?

Sure, the Olivia who left had no relationship with me. She said we needed to move on in separate ways. But the Olivia whose memories I had wiped...

The elevator doors dinged open, pulling me back into the present.

We walked through the hallway in silence until we reached the room. I fumbled with the keycard, pushing the door open for her to enter first. And once it softly thudded behind us, I awkwardly shuffled over to the bed, placing the packet of condoms on the bedside table and sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"This is... nice," she said from the hallway, glancing around the room.

I pretended to also be interested in the decor and mumbled a, "Yeah." All the while, my thoughts were screaming: This is stupid... neither of us have done this before. Surely we wouldn't take this further. But maybe just spending company with each other would be enough to fill the hole for the moment. Or, in my case, dull the fire.

"I'm going to... freshen up quickly," she said, avoiding eye contact as she walked into the bathroom.

I fell back against the bed as I listened to the sound of the tap running on the other side of the wall. It had been so long since I last had sex. Surely this would disappoint her to be with me. Then again, I felt obligated to make it somewhat special for a one night stand given that I'd be the second person she would be with. Who knows if whatever sleeze she would run into at a nightclub would offer her such generosity.

Olivia only had to walk past one before...

I closed my eyes, wincing at the memory that took over my mind as I recalled the tears streaming down her cheeks as I bared my teeth at the man.

A jostling of the bed beside me caused my eyes to fly open, head turning to Emma.

She was staring at the wall, thumbs twiddling together, heartbeat racing. "I really don't know how to do this," she breathed.

I moved back up to a seated position. "Me neither," I muttered. "I haven't just... Normally I take someone on a date first."

She let out an awkward laugh. "Does the bar count as a date?"

Eyes narrowing I said, "I didn't even buy you a drink..."

Lips pressed together, her warm eyes turned to meet mine, scanning my face before slowly trailing over me. When her gaze flicked back up to mine, and her tongue snuck out to wet her lips, I got lost in the thought of what it would be like to have her tongue in my mouth. To have those lips on my skin.

And as I slowly began to let my own eyes undress her, I realised this could be easier than I thought. If I just stayed in the moment. Thought of the sensations. If I forgot any sense of my past and present and who I was, just enjoying the touch of another person.

I steadily raised my hand, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear and her heartbeat accelerated. She then shuffled closer on the bed towards me.

My other hand came up, stroking her cheek, causing a warmth to flush her face.

Her hands came up and rested on my shoulders.

"Are you sure," I whispered as her face leaned closer, eyes beginning to close.

"Yes," she breathed. Lips hovering over mine, she then said, "Are you?"

"Mhmm." Then I pulled her mouth onto mine, both of us yearning and desperate. She didn't kiss like Olivia. Where Olivia was delicate, Emma was forceful.

The way Emma's hands caressed my body and her tongue explored my mouth told me she had done this many times before—even if it was with the one person. It was new. It was different. And it was everything I needed in that moment.

Eventually I lowered her onto the bed, arms on either side of her as our legs tangled together and our mouths became one. Then, as I began to press my lips down her jaw, relishing in the feel of her hands gliding up under my shirt, pulling it over my head, I let out a repressed moan.

To be touched by someone like this again, after so long, was thrilling. My pants had already become tight, which made me wonder how long I would last with her.

But when I opened my eyes to look at her, her gaze was fixated on my torso, a crease worrying its way between her brows. Her actions coming to a halt, I also paused as she trailed a finger over one of my scars before looking me in the eyes.

"Long story," I breathed, the memory of Olivia doing the same action multiple times coming to my head. To block the thought, I lowered my mouth back down to hers, hovering just above as I awaited her indication that she wanted to continue. Her hand hooked behind my head, pulling me back in for more.

Eventually I eased her shirt and bra off, while she unbuckled and removed my pants. I trailed my lips over her collar bone. I suckled on her breasts. She raised her hips into me, pleading at me for more. 

I pulled away for a moment to slip on the protection, then, without allowing myself to think twice, I moved into her. The release, the pleasure, was everything I needed to get out of my mind. 

As we moved against each other, panting, fingers digging deep in each other's skin, barely making eye contact as we pressed our lips and hands all over each other, all my thoughts were consumed with for the most part was how good she felt around me. And how nice it was to have someone touching me again. The delight, the light-headedness, the newness momentarily dulled the flame around my heart.

But grounding me in the reality every so often was that each time I pressed my lips against her neck or collarbone, I could smell her blood permeating through her flesh—sweet and fruity. The same as Olivia.

So eventually I shifted into a kneeling position, bringing her legs onto my shoulders so I wouldn't be inclined to kiss her or smell her. Instead, I focussed on what she responded to and what felt good for me too.

When finally her eyes had clenched up and her body was trembling with delight, I allowed myself to finish before pulling away from her and rolling onto my back.

"I..." she puffed after some time of us laying there, panting, "I don't think it's ever felt like that."

I breathed a laugh. "I'm glad I didn't disappoint," I said, feeling relieved.

Her head lolled to the side, eyes meeting mine. "Did you expect to disappoint me?"

"I've, um... only done it once in the past two years. And the last time was like, a year and a half ago."

She frowned at me and shuffled closer. "I thought she left only a couple of months ago."

I wrapped my arm around Emma, allowing my fingers to trail down her spine as she pressed her body up against mine, eyes staring at me, waiting. "It's... a really long story." How do I tell her that she wasn't mine all that time? That she was bonded to another guy who died...

"Well," she said, fingers tracing across my torso, "How about I have a shower and you get some of those stories off your chest?"

"I don't... That's surely not appropriate after we just—"

Her hand pressed against my mouth. "Lukas. I know what we are doing is using each other. I do not expect you to pretend that we weren't just doing what we did to get our exes out of our minds. And I'm also not going to be offended if you thought of her the whole time."

My breath caught at that comment as I wondered how she could possibly know that Olivia had crossed my thoughts every now and then...

"It's okay. Let's continue to use each other. Get everything off our chests and out of our system... just to see if we can let any ounce of them go."

As she smiled warmly at me, with that touch of sadness tainting her eyes, I nodded in response, still unsure how I even could explain the past to her. I couldn't possibly tell a mere human about a world of vampires, fairies, witches, and more... But was there even a way to cover what had happened without it?

Yet as she placed a kiss on my head and got up to a seated position to walk towards the shower, every single thought racing in my head came to a stop.

The whole time I had removed her clothes, her back had been facing away from me, towards the sheets. But now,as my gaze locked on her retreating naked figure, my eyes widened as I took in the familiar black-inked tattoo.