"Laxus sweetie, do you know where I left my apron?"Came the sweetened voice- oddly distorted and echoing within my ears as if in reverbrance. My vision was equally obscured similar to peering through a window of frosted glass. Still I felt my feet hit the ground after dropping from the couch, I can feel the grin puffing out my cheeks. Walking was blurred, a tilting back and forth even in stepping normally and certainly not swaying purposefully, the table chair pertaining to the dining table had the familiar pink cloth hanging from it, rather obvious to the naked eye, but I did not make a comment to my presently occupied mother cooking some dinner and baking cake at the same time, humming a simple lullaby to herself. I grasped the somewhat slickened fabric having trouble properly holding it with my small hands. My eyes seem to be failing me as I walk to the nye glowing appearance of my mother's almost glowing yellow hair, she is a blurred figure, even so I can plainly see her towering over the tops of the wall cabinets of the kitchen.

Turning to me, her orange eyes are near blaring in the strange obscured light changing my perception, but I do see the glint of her smile as she stares down at me. "Why thank you my beautiful boy." Naturally she has to slightly bend down in order to take her apron as I hold it high up to her. Again though her voice is reverbarating in my ears as an odd echo. I feel the smile on my face at her appreciation, "do you wanna help mommy in the kitchen?"I can recognize the sound of my answer, yet I had not given any though to it in that moment, it simply came out of my mouth. I did however notice that I was happy, smiling all the while as I attempt to help her with my tiny frame- hardly reaching the counter. "Alright my big boy go sit down at the table." Once more came her sweetened voice as a small giggle escaped her but to my distorted hearing it sounded deepened and more intense then what it would be. It was no deterrent however, and I crawled up to a sit on the chair. Legs swaying under me in an anticipation I could no longer comprehend, I heard the heavy fall of my towering mother's footfalls on the laminate flooring as she approached with a blurred object in her hands. It clanked as she put it down on the wood of the table, narrowing my eyes I could tell it was a cake covered in chocolate icing.

My smile stings at my face. "There we are, happy birthday!" She's smiling as her knife slowly slices through the soft cake, as she hands me a plate her large hand goes to my face and lingers on my cheek. "I love you." In reaching for my fork however, once more the world tilts on its axis swaying as for a moment my mother suddenly becomes clear to my vision in opposition to everything surrounding becoming more distorted. I can feel the pressure of her hand on my cheek and the fabric of my collar lifting slightly as her large pinky-finger goes underneath my shirt with its size. "Very much, my Laxus." My grin hasn't left.

"I love you too mom!" I respond, yet her smile dips and her fingers stop caressing my cheek, her lips thinning.

"I told you, its mommy." I'm still smiling, my feet swaying under me as I dig into my cake.

"Sorry mommy." I say it rather abstractly paying more attention to the scintillating cake filling my senses.

"Good."

.o0o.

To sit within the tiny room which now counted as what the guildhall had devolved into, degraded into; as a type of maliceful irony and I have no want to bare my eyes down in a contemplative stare. For the cruel sway of what I had become in desperation for a change of what had never been broken, to the exact mirror image in plain mockery- I had thought it broken, filled with weakened wizards whom had nothing to contribute to the furthering of the guild; now it was, a meager lingering amount of near desolate people who were too loyal to properly leave, yet remained entirely pessimistic that anything would be fixed or changed. They walked with purple, and lank frames beneath their eyes, making an occasional glance to the small quest board every couple minutes in hope that a new opportunity for money might suddenly come forth. A pathetic sight for certain, yet I cannot force a disdain for the sight, even though none of them seemed to harbor the logic to simply join another guild and feed their skin bodies. They remained desperately loyal to a guild which had so obviously fallen, it was pathetic- stupid, still, I know without doubt that I would do the exact same should I be forced into their position.

Sitting leaning with the wall pressing into my back, legs crossed over a too short table, arms crossed placidly over my chest, and watching as everyone smiled to those of us who had been lost; striking up a randomized conversation for the easy fact that they could once more. Frown seemingly integrated onto my face for the sight, in addition to the suffocating sadness still lingering, the room was too small to properly fit all of us, as if trapped into a corner. I flinch at the thought of being cornered, recurring in my mind with a panted breath and seemingly a tightness in my breast, only for a moment before it alivates. Knowing why, does nothing to ease the sensation, and once more my eyes stray to the grouping of happily smiling teens, obviously I remain obstructed from them all. The minut shake of my fingers stops as I catch sight of the lumaninance which smiles so bright in his surroundings, laughing along with an inaudible joke, so adapt already to a guild which is fundamentally wrong; even those so obviously, previously, desolate in their lack of hope were smiling with his words, chuckling every time he and Grey began to argue and Erza threw a glare to swiftly end any rising confrontation. I snort for the familiarity small smile formed, because of the blaring knowledge of who I am and who- what, Natsu had become in my eyes, I have no ire for the comprehension.

Though the vision is brightened, I can feel the tilt of an impending frown as once more the pinket and blue-haired near naked man butted heads once more; that is not what drew my attention, instead, the woman standing behind with an adoration in her eyes- certainly not matched. It was as if I was seeing the woman degrade ever further into a dangerous obsession she could not realize and which no one else cared to acknowledge. Her demeanour matching so well into one I had seen before, it was near the same- but not yet devolved enough. Perhaps a word to her, a precautious tone, a careful explanation, I could certainly make the effort to warn her- warn Grey as it were, even so in seeing the problem hidden by so many; I had yet to force my legs to move, to say anything, and I let it degrade forward into a damning mentality. Once again, my eyes pull away from the sight of her clinging so tight to the ice-mages shoulder, as she attaches herself to his side. I know my own cowardice, but the sight is too familiar that my unconscious fear manifests every time I see it festering and I can't force myself to do a thing.

My gaze once more rests on pink hair, slight tanned skin, and smile so wide it could be mistaken that it was breaking his jaw. Natsu knows a lot, knowledge that no one could properly attribute to his personality. Yet, he is so blinded by his own ideals of who people are; he is still obscured and ignorant, unknowing of just how twisted people might turn, even without provocation. I doubt he would even comprehend in his morality some of the crimes people commit merely for the thrill of the action, the lack of immorality thereinlayed. Automatically, my iris drifts to Juvia as she clings to Grey's side -the man hardly paying attention in the normality of the occurrence- while he talks to those I cannot recognize, a glare is in her eyes though they remain only slightly narrowed, what they might do; unconscious of the wrong in their actions. I have no want to contemplate the thought further, the possiblity, only with the desire to ignore my own knowledge of the danger and instead push it into the back of my mind, in a coward's feignment of ignorance, ignoring the fact.

I look to Natsu yet again, who talks with the blonde- former princess of high society, she too is enjoying his company, least judging by her smile and the manner in which her tits bounce as she laughs- perhaps a bit louder then whatever he says dictates. Watching Natsu laugh I could feel the vaguist of smile turn up the corner of my lip, my head now resting on the wall, my thoughts somewhat pacified from the irritating darkened ideas that had been popping forward. The sun changes colour in his hair if only slightly, and it matches his personality so well in the way his face is illuminated as I result. My body has been strained, tensed in remembrance of last night's dream- further, as I had ignored the possibility of one after such a pleasant evening's date; seeing him enjoying himself does lessen my extremely tensed muscles. Within my peripheral it is easy to see my grandfather shifting on the minal bar counter, yet I can feel the smolder of his stare at the side of my head, and it ticks at a nerve. With the sensation in attempting to ignore it I firmly lock my eyes on Natsu's figure.

Though I know I'm frowning and appear irate or even angry while staring at him.- there is a comfort in the knowledge that my glower would only add to the common made thought that I find him annoying or hate him; with that surrounding perception I do not know what emotions I hold, there is comfort in the fact, because then no one considers us close. Another emotion that I can tell sits heavy on my conscious is the ireful burn of jealousy, ridiculous, as it is my own fault that I cannot properly reval in his presence as others might; because they think I do not enjoy his company- indeed that I think of him as an irritating fly to be swept away. In truth, I would gladly sit beside him merely to feel the warmth of his aura, to freely smile at his actions as everyone else can. Yet- the thought of anyone knowing that we are closer makes my blood frost in my veins, in pure trepidation. It shames me, because my feelings for him are strong and undeniable, pure and lovely, but I can't bare to admit or showcase my emotions, even to my guildmates.

I know the reason, but that doesn't mean I want to acknowledge or think about it.