Title: Trapped in The Stranger's Den

Author: BiibevsWritings

Genre/s: Mystery / Thriller

Number of Chapters: 18

Mature?: Yes

POV: First person, shifting POVs

Status: Ongoing

Trapped in The Stranger's Den

[in the author's own words]

Avrille's an orphan girl but becomes the most popular celebrity actress. And for her, it is a great opportunity to find her parents through her career even without traces of them.

A part of her tells that she's been living in darkness when she was a kid which was very different from how bright her life at present.

Then a sudden accident brought her to realization that will shock her entire life that even her cannot believe. Will this bring her continues luck or been ruined and trapped in the past?

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B O O K R E V I E W

[Before we begin, please keep in mind that everything mentioned below is my personal opinion. My intention isn't to offend anyone; the only reason I am going into such detail is to be able to help my fellow writers out there. I do not claim to be correct; just sharing my opinion from my experience here on Wattpad. The following review is based off of the prologue + first 5 chapters only.]

AND

TITLE: This story's title is neither too short or too long but it fits on the screen (Wattpad crops out the word "ongoing" though). The title gives you a big hint of what to expect in the story ahead whilst also building on the thriller element. It may not be the most unique title out there but it serves the purpose of clearly communicating to your target audience which should work favourably for this story, in my opinion.

COVER: The pinks of the title work very well in contrast with the rest of the black and white image. The title is not readable as easily and that wouldn't have been much of an issue but the author's name / username is hardly visible on the cover. You don't have to change anything but if you wish to, you can always experiment with new covers to see what kind attract readers most.

♡♡♡♡.5

BLURB: Apart from the cover and title, the blurb plays a major role in determining whether or not someone clicks on your story to check it out. There were some easily noticeable grammar errors (nothing to worry about, a quick run through MS Word / Grammarly / Google Docs etc. can solve them easily). This synopsis does justice to the genre of your story. The mystery and thriller element survives throughout and the blurb communicates the hook without saying too much. It feels complete as such but I personally would have liked to know a bit more about this story / the plot in through the blurb. The hook is on point though. Would make you want to click and check out what happens ahead.

♡♡♡♡

CHARACTERS: While what makes someone click on a story is a cover / title / blurb, what makes them stay is your plot and especially your characters. Their relatability, the whole vibe they give off and how well the characterization is done plays a huge role in a story. After all, it is easy to forget a story's title or maybe even plot but some characters stay with you even after you've finished reading the story. Avrille's story would draw you in because of the mystery and the strange dreams she keeps seeing. Her story instantly spirals into a thriller when we find out the way the story progresses (not adding the gist here to avoid spoilers). Curious to find out more but I would have personally liked to get into her head / emotions more. (More on this elaborated below).

♡♡♡♡.5

AND

Judging from the prologue + 5 chapters I have read...

PACE & PLOT - The chapters are super short but I felt like the pace of this story was apt. Events and scenes happened quickly and the mystery / thriller element is well-maintained in the chapters I've read so far. Avrille's relationship with various characters / people in her acting career adds to the mysterious element (especially after the revelations in Chapter 4). A little more descriptive writing would immediately make this story stand out in my opinion. More on this below.

GRAMMAR, DESCRIPTIONS & WRITING - I am not here to edit and pinpoint small mistakes (a simple run though MS Word or Grammarly can do that) so I'll be saying this from a reader's perspective - the kind that don't intentionally try to hunt for mistakes. Overall, I felt like were a few grammar / punctuation errors but as said above, all you need is a quick run through MS Word or similar software to solve them. For instance, the story starts with a dialogue which isn't in "dialogue quotes" and this same issue happens in the story ahead as well.

Certain word choices could have been better but nothing to worry about since this will come naturally with more practice, so keep writing. I noticed there was somehow a lot of tell (eg. I washed my face with cold water) but some balance with show (eg. I gasped when the cold water splashed on my face) would instantly uplift your scenes. It would be more attaching to be able to get into the character's head and see + feel what they're feeling.

I felt like the dreams and the current / present scene is not well distinguished. You could maybe try formatting the dream into italics to create that easy distinction.

The anonymous POV in chapter 4 instantly brings so much more life and thrill to this story! Loved that part! And I really like how almost every chapter ends with a cliffhanger. Makes you want to read ahead and considering how bite sized the chapters are, it works really well too.

READIBILITY & AESTHETICS - The paragraphs are sized properly - neither too small, nor too big and the overall aesthetic of the story on the screen is perfectly adequate. I personally feel the small chapters work for this story. Feels like a very ideal length.

♡♡♡.5

Wishing you good luck for this story *_*

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