Standing in the shadows of a pillar, Haimavati kept a reverential watch over the two people strolling across the huge, green lawn. She had to be ready to rush to them if Priyamvada felt ill, though it was unlikely...

Priyamvada's health had improved by leaps and bounds in a short span of time. Her weight was increasing steadily and her face was to beginning to fill out, gradually erasing the haggardness from the features. She was taking her medicines on time, and was following the doctor's instructions. The sole concern was that, at a mental and emotional level, Priyamvada was not yet stable, and she still suffered from sudden attacks of fears, anxieties, and hallucinations. But that never happened when Prithvi was with her.

A son like him was the result of several lifetimes of meritorious actions, Haimavati mulled lovingly. It was unfortunate that he was being slightly reserved with his own mother because of some common, undeserving girl. Yes, the girl had helped find Priyamvada, and there were some unusual coincidences associated with her, but hadn't she and her father also created a lot of problems for Prithvi's family? Still, it was admirable that he wasn't letting any problems come in the way of his responsibilities.

Priyamvada would eventually show her son the error of his ways and bring him under her control. And when the time was right, she would choose for him a life partner who was worthy of him, Haimavati contemplated with satisfaction.

She tried to observe their expressions, and wondered what they were talking about at the moment...

************************************

Walking at a sedate pace, Prithvi listened to his mother talk warmly about her childhood. He didn't glance at her often, and preferred to gaze at the blooming flowerbeds in the verdant lawn. There were many herb plants too, including the holy basil...

His mother was talking about the countries she had visited by herself and with his father, her favourite childhood hobby of horse-riding, and the beautiful horses she had owned in the past. She'd spoken extensively about her childhood over the past week. He personally preferred to hear her talk about his father, because it was solely during those times that he couldn't detect any undercurrent of malice or manipulation in her behaviour.

Since many days, however, he had been waiting during these conversations for his mother to broach the actual issues on her mind. He had an idea of what she wanted to say, and he was hoping against hope that he was wrong...

She had been circling around the main matter till yesterday, dropping hints here and there. The explosives were going to be launched in his direction during this conversation. That was clear from the subtle change in her attitude. She sounded more commanding and confident this morning, secure in her belief that he was unaware of the web she had woven.

He didn't have to wait for long. Post a little more inconsequential talk, the first grenade came his way.

"Prithvi, I was thinking...after Indrajit recovers enough to move about comfortably, would it be possible for us to go abroad for some time?" Priyamvada requested gently. "Perhaps about three months? Rajeshwari will also accompany us. I want to visit the US, and some places in Europe – Germany, Ireland, Croatia...all the places I'd visited during happier days. Maybe meet old friends. I think it will help...my mind," she added delicately.

And put considerable physical distance between me and Nandini, Prithvi mulled jadedly.

He could bet his life that their stay abroad was not going to wrap up in three months. But the trip wasn't going to happen for a while. He had time to remove the blocks that had come up in Nandini's mind against him and their relationship. After he had done that, he wouldn't mind going anywhere temporarily. The physical distance could be endured if he knew that she was holding him close emotionally...

Repressing his feelings, he lightly said, "We'll go wherever you want. Indrajit can come along - if that's what he wants too."

"Yes, naturally, I will not force him to do anything against his wishes," Priyamvada asserted hurriedly. "But there is a problem. I don't remember anything about my old passport and other documents."

"I'll take care of it, Maa," he smiled slightly.

Priyamvada smiled at him. Then in a pacifying tone, she said, "Father will not accompany us."

Father will not accompany us...but he will drop by after a short gap and then stick to us permanently like the grossest leech on the planet, Prithvi completed the sentence in his mind.

"His absence will be highly appreciated," Prithvi said sincerely, and casually added, "For however long it lasts."

Priyamvada felt disconcerted, but she maintained her pleased air. "So, that's settled then...and Prithvi, we must visit the Aadya Devi temple soon. I don't like going to temples any more than you do," she added mollifyingly on seeing a small scowl on her son's face. "But your father had great faith in the Goddess and he had promised to bring us both to the shrine. But then he..." she stopped with a catch in her voice.

"Fine," Prithvi muttered.

"Thank you, my dear," Priyamvada smiled tenderly.

A lengthy pause followed, during which he could virtually see his mother steel her nerves.

Then Priyamvada carefully said, "Prithvi, I wish to visit the family shrine on my side of the family too. Father has to fulfil a vow he had taken when he first heard that I was... and I want to accompany him. It will only be a two-day trip," she adjoined hurriedly.

There it is, Prithvi reflected impassively, suddenly feeling strangely detached from the whole scene.

He thought of the marble temple that housed the tutelary deity of his mother's family. He had seen it from afar, but as a child, he'd never been allowed to go close to it. It was an ancient, enormous structure - located close to the palace at Devgarh.

Priyamvada stopped walking and looked at her son's pallid profile. "I will not be going to the palace, Prithvi," she said urgently. "I will not go anywhere near it. I promise -"

Prithvi turned to face his mother. "You should stay at the palace while you're in Devgarh, Maa," he said quietly. "You have every right to. It was your childhood home, after all."

Priyamvada looked closely at her son's face. He didn't seem as disturbed as she'd thought he would be. In fact, he was taking it rather well. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, she intently said, "You're saying that only to make me happy, aren't you? You don't mean it."

"I do. You can do whatever you wish in Devgarh as long as you don't expect me to set foot there," he shrugged.

Enormously relieved and grateful, Priyamvada lovingly said, "I don't deserve a son like you."

"You don't," Prithvi agreed easily.

As dismay spread on his mother's face, he smiled drolly and added, "I'm kidding, Maa. I'll be making a lot of jokes on those lines. You'll get used to them. Even if you don't, that's okay. Just continue to be the wonderful, sensitive person you are," he encouraged seriously. "We should head back. Your Dai Maa looks exhausted from her attempts to lipread. I think she's about to topple into the flowerbeds any minute now."

Priyamvada followed his direction unthinkingly, her befuddled mind tangled in the knots of their conversation. She was going to have to analyse the conversation many times today to know if she ought to be thankful or upset. That was never the case when she spoke to anyone else. But nearly every conversation with her own child left her feeling like she was floundering in the dark.

What had Prithvi said? What had he meant? And why did both things seem to be diametrically different from each other...

*******************************

Bhoothnath handed over sweets and flowers as prasad to the small group of people waiting outside the inner sanctum. Sankatmochan poured a spoonful of Tulsi water into cupped palms.

An elderly woman, a regular visitor to the shrine, waited back after the others had dispersed, and then smilingly said, "Bhoothnathji, I heard that Nandini has secured the first rank in her entire batch."

Bhoothnath nodded happily. Three days after receiving the delightful news that Nandini had topped the college, his heart was still inflated with joy and pride. Nandini had teased him that he was walking with a swagger similar to that of a reigning superstar of Hindi movies. Everyone was over the moon, and the house had come alive with a festive atmosphere.

"Yes, she has," he beamed.

Sankatmochan enthusiastically said, "In two subjects, Nandini's scores are the highest in the college's history!"

Impressed, the woman asked, "Which two subjects?"

Sankatmochan and Bhoothnath exchanged inquisitive looks, and sheepishness appeared on both the faces.

"I have to clean that corner of the temple," Sankatmochan declared and scuttled off.

"Errr...the subjects...oh what does that matter?" Bhoothnath dismissed mulishly. "What is important is that my granddaughter is the smartest student in the college," he proclaimed. "And you should know that children in Nandini's tuition class too have performed well in their exams. Many parents have been approaching her...requesting her to teach their children too," he boasted.

The woman was suitably impressed. "Our whole locality is very proud of Nandini. It's usually the students from out of town who do very well in that college. But Nandini has shown that the local students are no less! You must have given her a big gift for this wonderful performance."

The glee on Bhoothnath's face faded. He glumly said, "I wanted to...and I asked her what she wanted. I wanted to buy her a mobile phone as a gift. But she said it was an unnecessary item for her. And then she said all she wanted as a gift was my permission to fulfill two vows she had taken before the exams."

"What kind of vows?" the woman asked curiously.

"She had promised the gods that if she did well in her exams, she would observe a strict fast on every Saturday, with no food or water. And every Friday, she would walk barefoot to the Kali temple..."

"But that is more an hour away from here," the woman said anxiously.

"I told her that...her mother also tried to make her understand that both the vows are too harsh. But she is adamant about fulfilling them." Then Bhoothnath's face brightened up again. "I have told my daughter-in-law to buy her many good dresses."

"It is rare for children these days to take such difficult vows and fulfill them," the woman said ruefully. "Nandini is a gem of a girl. I hope my granddaughters grow up to become like her..."

**************************************

Nandini stirred the spicy lentil curry one last time and then put off the flame and placed a lid over the vessel. The rice was cooked, and the side-dish of vegetables was also ready. She left the hot kitchen and went into the living room. She switched on the fan and sat down at the table with a sigh of relief.

Her mother had gone shopping with her friends to the town's main market to have a look at the sale happening at a well-known garment store. Her grandfather was in the temple and Prakash was reading his comic books in his room upstairs. She could have some time to herself now. Solitude was immensely precious to her these days...

The landline phone started to ring loudly.

Nandini groaned.

She needn't have worried. Like a little superhero, Prakash came zooming down the stairs. "Don't worry, if it's for you, I'll tell them you're not here," he told her comfortingly as he ran to the phone.

"Thank you, Pikku," she said gratefully, and made an exaggerated gesture of removing the evil eye from him.

Prakash glared at her before he picked up the receiver. Then he replaced it without speaking and sped towards the stairs.

"Who was it?" Nandini asked quickly.

"The call got cut," Prakash yelled

Nandini gazed caringly at the young boy who was scuttling up the steps, and mentally thanked the universe for giving her a brother like Prakash.

He had been extraordinarily understanding towards her since her return from Vishranti Nagar. And recently, somehow perceiving her reluctance to socialise, he had voluntarily taken up the duty of protecting her from conversations whenever possible.

Most other people didn't seem to understand. Her best friends too were getting frustrated with her complete lack of enthusiasm about the results....and everything else in general. But they had assumed it was a continuation of her heartbreak from the time Prithvi had left Shamli, and were being very patient with her.

Her mother and grandfather thought she was being humble. Neighbours were lauding her for remaining level-headed and not getting carried away by pride. She couldn't explain to any of them that she was not being modest. If circumstances had been different, she would have been extremely thrilled by her success. Although she would still have felt shy and embarrassed about the attention from outsiders, she would have danced many triumphant jigs in the privacy of her room.

But as matters stood, she had not felt an ounce of pride or pleasure. 

The excitement and joy of her family and friends had gladdened her heart. She had smiled and murmured 'thank you' because it was expected of her. However, on the inside, she continued to feel untouched by everything happening around her. Then again, the exam results were not a triumph of her mind, but of her pain. She had studied hard for her exams because she had not wanted to think about Prithvi.

Nevertheless, she was grateful, because the results had given her an excuse to begin two practices that she'd desperately wanted to follow. Else, it would not have been easy to convince her family to give her permission...

The phone began ringing annoyingly again.

Sighing, Nandini rose from the chair, and then loudly said, "It's okay, I'm answering it."

"Okay, Di," Prakash shouted back.

Nandini walked to the phone and answered it politely.

"Good morning, Nandini," a cool female voice replied. "How are you?"

All warmth left Nandini's body...and the entire space around her. As her expression hardened, she turned automatically to face the stairs. While she didn't know why Priyamvada had called, she was sure that Prakash couldn't be allowed to overhear the conversation.

"What do you want?" she asked tersely.

"I hear you've done well in your exams," Priyamvada said courteously. The information had solved the mystery of why Prithvi had suddenly been in better spirits few days ago. He had asked for an extra special meal to be prepared for everyone in the palace, including the servants, and for sweets to be distributed to everyone in the village. When she had cautiously asked for the cause behind his cheerfulness, he had gravely told her that he was expressing his delight at having his entire family under one roof, especially Rajyavardhan Singh. The superficially sweet response had stung terribly...

"How did you find out? And how did you get this number?" Nandini asked sharply.

"I know more about your family than you do. So, it's true...you did do well. Congratulations," Priyamvada wished emotionlessly.

"Are you thinking about bribing someone in the university to change the results?" Nandini enquired.

Priyamvada clenched her jaw. "I have better things to do."

"I doubt it. You might have cheaper things to do, not better," Nandini rejoined cuttingly.

Haimavati noted the increasing rigidity in Priyamvada's features and drew her attention subtly. She indicated through a gesture that Priyamvada should remain calm.

Priyamvada stifled a vicious response. Haimavati was right. She had to restrain her anger and speak politely. Clinically inserting notes of pleading and sincerity into her voice, she gently said, "Nandini, please don't misunderstand me. I was unwise in my youth but I have changed. I wish to apologise again for the mistakes. Please don't hold a grudge against me. And please don't tell anyone about what I said."

"You're not sorry about anything," Nandini said bitterly. "You're afraid...for reasons that no sane person will understand. But you don't have to be. I will not wish ill upon you, because any trouble that falls on you will affect Prithvi. And I cannot...I don't want that to happen," she mumbled as her throat started to ache. 

Priyamvada leaned abruptly against the cushioned backrest and shut her eyes. The gruelling tension that had been eating her alive had disappeared.

For this moment, she didn't care about Nandini's tone or the underlying reasons. The extraordinary faculties that had guided her since childhood were telling her that she didn't have to worry about Nandini again. She knew in her bones that Nandini had meant what she said. No further confirmation was necessary. But she needed one more assurance before burying the matter forever.

"And you won't tell anyone about what I had told you?" she asked guardedly.

Nandini kept silent for a few seconds, then she coldly said, "You won't understand why I don't want to tell Prithvi how sickening you are as a person, so I won't try to explain. But I don't mind sharing why I won't be telling my family the same thing. They love Prithvi very much, and I don't want the ugly stain of being your son to harm their bond with him," she clarified wretchedly. She was punishing him cruelly for it...yet, she couldn't stand the thought of her family having the tiniest reservations about him...

Haimavati gazed concernedly at the increasingly furious woman in the throne chair. She didn't know what unpleasant things were being said by Nandini, but she had to stop Priyamvada from giving any response that could cause her needless tension later.

The king had asked her to dissuade Priyamvada from calling up the despicable girl who had ruined the family's peace. But she had failed to do so. And now she could see that he had been right to fear that Priyamvada would lose her temper during the conversation and say things that would come back to haunt her later and aggravate the imbalance in her mind.

It was painful now to think of the girl she had raised, Haimavati reflected sorrowfully. Priyamvada had once been fearless, obstinately rational, and unshakable. Irrespective of the provocation, she had not allowed emotions to get the better of her. Each word...each move had been the result of careful calculations, Haimavati recalled nostalgically. She didn't have any doubt that Priyamvada would get back that unwavering poise and wisdom again. But it was going to take a long time...

Proving her correct, Priyamvada softly said, "You sound like your reckless, irrational father. I don't suppose you know this...but your father once had the gumption to tell me that I should give Prithvi to him, and that he would take care of my son and raise him. Can you imagine his temerity? Quite a stupid man he was," she sneered.

As her anxiety rose, Haimavati gave a wordless signal again. Frowning, Priyamvada raised a hand in warning. Haimavati shrank back quickly.

Despite an urge to look at the photographs on the wall, Nandini kept her eyes on the stairs. If she turned around and saw her father's face, she would lose control over her rage.

"My father knew you were evil, so he wanted to save Prithvi from your influence," she snapped angrily. "For an actual example of a stupid man, just think of your husband. He chose a revolting woman like you to be his life partner. There couldn't possibly be a more senseless decision than that."

Haimavati felt a chill on seeing an animal ferocity erupt in Priyamvada's eyes. Whatever Nandini had said, it was the last straw...

But again, when Priyamvada spoke, it was with great serenity. "Did you know that I arranged for your father to be beaten up many times? He wasn't a very strong man, and couldn't fight back. A couple of slaps were sufficient to make him collapse to the ground," she described with pleasure. "When he still continued to interfere, I told the men to bring you into the picture...his precious child. That was all it took for him to stop. I was almost disappointed. It had been entertaining to hear the guards describe how they had thrashed him and how incompetent he was at defending himself. If I had decided to kill you, he wouldn't have been able to do anything but beat his chest and wail."

Everything in Nandini's line of vision jumped frenziedly, forcing her to close her eyes. She'd thought she had already gone though the most unendurable levels of fury and grief. But she knew now that there wasn't any limit to the degree of those emotions...

It was not Harshvardhan. Priyamvada was the one responsible for her father being harmed by the palace goons. Had she stopped at that? Or had she gone further...

"Were you – were you responsible for his death?" she asked numbly.

Placated faintly by the trauma in the pathetically shaky voice, Priyamvada truthfully said, "No. I was living in a destitute home by then if you remember, all because of your family. That must have been the work of some other person whom your father harassed without cause," she added maliciously. "But I did pray often for Siddharth and his whole family to die. Maybe those prayers worked partially. Now I've told you everything that was a burden on my mind. So...can you still forgive me, Nandini?" she pleaded sarcastically.

Nandini couldn't respond for some moments, as she was finding it difficult to breathe. Her entire body seemed to be consumed by a white-hot fury. When she finally felt capable of speaking, she sounded calmer than Priyamvada...

"Listen to me carefully," Nandini uttered slowly. "You might not believe me now, but what I'm about to say will come true. Your son will never love or respect you, because he will always be able to see through you. Being the person that he is, he will look after you. But you will never know what it is like to be loved by your own child. Prithvi will be surrounded by many people who love him unconditionally, and whom he too will love. My prayers for him will be answered...I know it will..."

Nandini's voice shivered severely, but only for a moment. Wrath conquered pain again and helped her continue determinedly. "But you...you will not be counted among those he truly loves. You will be a bystander in your son's life. You will never be a part of it," she spat fiercely. "You think the last twenty years of your life were a punishment...but your real punishment has not begun yet."

Priyamvada continued to clutch the cell phone long after the phone had been slammed on the other end. She returned to reality only when Haimavati tried to gently prise the instrument out of her hand.

She lifted a deathly pale face to stare at Haimavati and dazedly whispered, "Why did she say that, Dai Maa? Why...why did she say that? She shouldn't have..."

Extremely distressed, Haimavati stroked her head comfortingly. She didn't know what Nandini had told Priyamvada, but it was easy to guess that the nasty girl had said something that Priyamvada, in her current unstable state, considered to be a 'curse'.

"She's just a useless young girl who doesn't know how to speak to those who are superior to her. You don't have to fear her," Haimavati insisted. "No one has magical powers in this world. And even if they do, they cannot harm a courageous woman like you," she said calmingly.

With an agonised moan, Priyamvada grasped her head with both hands.

**********************

In Vrindavan, Nandini stepped back from the phone, glaring at it with the deepest loathing. After a whole minute, she turned slowly to gaze at the pictures on the wall. Her eyes went to the largest photograph. The one in which a happy little girl with pigtails was sitting on her father's lap.

Nandini moved closer to the photograph and removed it from the wall. Staring at the image, she walked to the sofa and sank down on it, sitting cross-legged. She touched the face of the smiling man in the photograph, and gazed at him for a few minutes. Large drops of water fell with a splash on the glass.

She erased them with a fierce determination, and hugged the picture to her chest protectively...

***************************