Chapter 52

While Ryan showered, I decided to head downstairs and meet Flynn's ex-wife, but I wasn't prepared for the sight I got. I stared at the woman in front of me for longer than was appropriate. She stared back at me unmoving, and for a moment I thought I was standing in front of a mirror. A mirror that showed an adult version of me.

"Well, I guess it's true what they say: there are seven people in the world who look like you," the woman, Grace, spoke first. "Looks like we each have six people left to find." She laughed quietly, and her laugh was contagious enough to make Flynn laugh as well.

I soon joined them, but chose not to say anything as the first words out of my mouth would have been a lie. How could I tell Grace that I recognised her, considering we had never met before? How could I tell Grace that my mother had cut her picture out of a newspaper and kept it for sixteen years?

"Would you like something to eat?" Grace asked kindly. She wore a pencil skirt, and a matching pink blouse that set off the colour in her face. She seemed like the kind of lady everyone would look to as a motherly figure. Her warm hazel eyes had flecks of darker brown in them, making her eyes look like they were filled to the brim with lots of unseen emotions.

"Please," I replied.

"Finally, someone with manners." She glared at Flynn who held up his hands in surrender and cheekily winked at her. An action that showed all history between them was not yet forgotten, and spending time together in the same house was forcing them both to rekindle their feelings for each other.

"Sage, right?" Grace set down a bowl of steaming soup in front of me. The heavenly aroma of spices wafted through the air and into my nose, tickling my nostril hairs. Grace and I were alone in the kitchen, and it felt nice to escape the levels of testosterone that had surrounded me for much longer than I would have liked. There was something oddly feminine about this kitchen, it was probably the colours. The kitchen was furnished with hues of beige and pink, even the displayed China was white, with pinkish mandalas painted on them.

I nodded my head. "That's me." I picked up the spoon she had supplied and began scooping mouthfuls of the hot liquid into my mouth. The soup scorched my tongue, but I couldn't bring myself to care, because this was so much more delicious than the soggy sandwiches we had stolen from the gas station's shop.

"So, what's your story?" She took the chair opposite from me and once she was seated, she placed her chin on her hands and gazed at me with interest. When she saw that I was a bit confused, she gestured towards the living room. "All the other kids have some tragic backstory," she clarified. "That was what convinced me to offer them refuge." She shivered involuntarily, as she was forced to relive everything the others had told her.

"I'm not really one of them," I told her.

"Are you one of their girlfriends then?"

I shook my head vigorously. "It's complicated." It struck me as strange that now that simple sentence had become my explanation for all difficult topics.

"She was mine," Kaden strolled in. "Emphasis on was."

"Oh." Grace twiddled her thumbs and pretended to pick out microscopic dirt from under her fingernails.

Kaden sat down next to me and purposefully brushed his arm against mine.

"Where's Ryan?" he questioned, cocking his head towards me.

"He's..." I wanted to tell him that Ryan was in the bathroom, but my words trailed off, as Kaden placed his hand on my thigh. He drew circles on my thigh with his thumb. Unsurprisingly, his touch shot a wave of warmth into me. I shook his hand away, but he stubbornly put it on my other thigh and continued with the same motions.

"There's something I have to tell you," he said as he angled his chair towards mine.

"I'll just leave." I had forgotten Grace was watching until she spoke. Neither of us acknowledged her. I felt kind of bad for ignoring her as she had accepted us into her home with open arms, but I was so lost in Kaden's eyes that I was unable to look away. Even the tasty soup was forgotten.

"Stop looking at me like that," I commanded.

"Like what?" He tried to sound confused, but the smirk on his face gave his façade away, he knew exactly what I meant, yet he was still going to make me say it.

"Like you own me," I responded. "As you said, I was your girlfriend. You're not allowed to look at me like that anymore."

"But I was hoping that after I share something with you, you'll be mine again," he explained, picking up one of my hands and playing with my fingers. I waited patiently for him to continue, knowing if I ripped my hand away from him, he'd just touch me somewhere else.

"Flynn just told me that Gina lied. She isn't carrying my baby. Apparently, she panicked when she saw me with you, and blurted out whatever lie would convince me to remain by her side." His shoulders were tight and drawn, and now he was unbuttoning and re-buttoning his coat for no reason.

"But that doesn't make sense," I gushed. "She's just finished university. She could have any guy she wants." But even I knew that there was something special about Kaden. It wasn't only the good looks, although I admit that was part of his attraction; but only a fool wouldn't be able to see the guy behind that perfect face. He was charming and strong, emotionally and physically. It was true he was sometimes overconfident and egotistical, but somehow those qualities didn't dim his appeal. "How did Flynn know?" I cast my eyelids downwards, so Kaden couldn't see the turmoil I was suffering from. Why was all this happening now? ...When I was just beginning to get close to Ryan.

"The night before Emma and Holden fainted". Kaden paused after saying this, to see my reaction to him mentioning that horrible night. When he was satisfied that I wouldn't have a panic attack, he continued talking. "Flynn took Gina to a gynaecologist. She refused to go inside and Flynn suspected that something was off. When he arrived here, he told me everything that had happened and I decided to buy her a pregnancy test. She came clean right there and then, and told me that the only reason she lied was because she loved me and would always love me."

"What did you tell her?" His story had made my blood run cold and I was trying to buy time, so that I could figure out how to address this situation.

"I hugged her goodbye, and that was it," he shrugged nonchalantly. "She has already left to stay with one of her friends. I wouldn't worry too much about her if I were you; she'll probably latch onto the next man who crosses her path."

What was the easy way to solve this? Was there an easy way to solve this? It was like a well-constructed algebra problem which had to be assessed from all sides; and there were many steps to go through, before the answer was found. Who was I kidding? There was no right way to sort this out without one person getting hurt.

"I need time to think." I swallowed and tried to breathe normally, but my breathing pattern was ragged. My heart was pounding against my chest, to a point where it was actually painful.

"Don't keep me waiting too long." Kaden traced a line from my temple to my jaw. "Those pretty lip of yours are craving mine." He pressed his thumb to my lips, applying just enough pressure to make them part.

***

"You seem tense." Ryan gently kneaded the knots in my back, before moving up to focus on my neck. My conversation with Kaden had drained me and I couldn't even finish Grace's soup, instead, I ran back upstairs just as Ryan stepped out of the bathroom. Now we were both on the bed wrapped up in each other.

"Just tired," I lied, not wanting to confide in him. Not that I didn't trust him, it was just that the conversation I had had with Kaden seemed very personal. It didn't feel right to tell Ryan that I was trying to choose between him and someone else. "Mmm, that feels nice." I relaxed and allowed his soft finger pads to work their magic They felt different from Kaden's hands, smooth and without callouses. "Have you ever considered becoming a masseuse?" I teased.

I had never had a massage before, but every single movie I had watched portrayed a massage as a very painful beating done by a hefty person, who cracked their knuckles harshly before starting. However, Ryan's massage was therapeutic, and I felt myself dozing off against my will.

Ryan chuckled in response, before his voice became serious again. "Am I welcome to sleep here with you?" He gestured towards the bed. I had been placed in the guestroom. Emma was supposed to sleep with me, but said she preferred to sleep with Holden. I wondered what Grace would think of that. She didn't seem particularly old fashioned, but it still seemed like she would frown on these intimate relationships since we were all so young. Kaden was left to sleep on the couch, since his spot had been stolen by Emma; and Flynn was together with Aaron, but I had no clue where they were situated. No sleeping arrangements had been made for Ryan. It seemed that he had been forgotten about, because he had only been introduced to everyone a couple of hours ago. I was surprised Kaden hadn't remembered him. I would have thought Kaden would have shoved Ryan aside to sleep next to me, but I guess he was extra confident that I would choose him over Ryan.

"I'll sleep on the floor then," Ryan offered, when I didn't say anything in reply. We had slept in the same bed before, but that was before Kaden come back into my life and complicated everything.

"No," I protested. "There's no reason for you to be uncomfortable." I patted the spot on the bed next to me and Ryan sat down, facing away from me.

It took me a while to realise that his jerking body wasn't him rocking to and fro; he was in fact trembling with heavy sobs.

"Ryan?" I shuffled closer to him and wrapped my arms around him from behind. My arms loosened when he turned around to face me. He buried his head in my neck and cried silently. The only indication that he was weeping was the tears that trickled down my neck.

"I'm sorry," he rasped.

"For what?" Confusion leaked into my voice as I smoothed his curly hair back.

"For what my mother did," he replied. His voice had regained some of its strength and it was no longer quivering.

"It's not your fault," I responded, trying to keep my voice as neutral as possible. I don't know what I was feeling at this moment, but I didn't want to allow myself to address my feelings, not while Ryan needed my comfort. "You couldn't have known. I should have told you that the FBI was looking for me."

"You knew?" He lifted his damp face up. The sclera of his eyes were tinged red and his face was rough, due to a couple of days of not shaving.

I nodded and held my breath to see what his reaction would be.

"Do you know why?"

I shook my head. It wasn't a complete lie. I mean I had a basic idea of why they wanted me, but it was nothing definite yet. All I knew for certain was that it had something to do with my recent killings.

"Did you know that my mother knew?" He interrogated. He wasn't mad at me for not telling him sooner. He understood that there were some things that I just didn't feel comfortable sharing.

"No."

"That stupid woman just put your life in danger." He balled his hands into fists and punched the bed.

"Ryan," I chided. "That's your mother."

Of course I agreed with everything he said, but he couldn't disrespect his mother like that.

"Not anymore." He gritted his teeth, making it difficult for me to figure out what he was saying.

"You need her in your life."

"All I need is you." His tears had stopped flowing, but there were thin tear lines running down each of his cheeks. He pressed his lips against my temple, and in that moment, I could see how broken he was. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who would readily share his deepest emotions with others. He wasn't naturally sensitive. He was usually in-check with his emotions. This must have been bothering him ever since we fled his apartment and he had finally cracked.

"So, what do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked. It wasn't the most romantic proposal, but the emotion and sincerity made up for the lack of romance.

"Yes," I replied after only a second of hesitation.

There were different things I liked about Ryan and Kaden, but it was clear that Ryan needed me more than Kaden. Kaden would get over me, I convinced myself. He could have any girl he wanted, and in addition to that he was strong enough to not let heartbreak hinder him in any way. Not that Ryan wasn't strong enough,,,, just Kaden was more used to being hurt. He knew how to handle pain.