*Trisha*

I finish getting sick in the bathroom, this time with no one's help. Which is fine. Both Paul and Nate are busy with Julia. But I suddenly feel so alone in this. There's so much going on all around me, and Nate barely says two words about our situation. He ignores me and doesn't give me the time of day. So as I sit here hugging the toilet, I cry.

Paul helps me at home. Which is really kind of him, but it's not his job. And since I don't live here, I only see Nate while working, so we can't talk about the pregnancy. And when I'm at his place, Julia's issues take over. Again- fine.

I'm just sad. I think I may be falling into a little bit of a depression over it all. First, by being sick, then not doing as well at my job and getting reprimanded by Nate for it. And now, kinda feeling like I'm losing my best friend.

I hear Kendall coming up to visit James so quickly pull myself together like I have to. No one outside these walls knows I'm pregnant.

*****

"What's going on with James?" Kendall came for a visit, but James isn't having it after hearing about Julia's day. He just wants to be alone in his room. I tell Kendall a little bit of what's going on under this roof but then immediately regret it by the way she is reacting.

"Is it always like this, Trisha?" Kendall questions me while we sit on the couch. Julia is sleeping, and Paul and Nate are in the room with her, talking about things. Casey and Jonah took the dog for a little walk while everyone was here.

"What do you mean? Always like this?"

"Always so much going on. All this drama. All this stress Julia brings with her." Kendall replies, and that's when I know I should have never told her anything. "It's not good for James. He already has enough of a stressful life. He needs a place where things are calm so he can recover."

I shift in my seat a little. "Julia doesn't bring this stress. This is something that happened to her. She was raped. Do you think she wants to go through what she goes through?"

"I'm not saying that. Just, in general. It's always something with her. And James will never leave her because he loves her. But she doesn't love him."

"Yes, she does. She loves him so much, Kendall. She takes really good care of James. Better care than any other person ever would." I find myself defending Julia, which is unlike me, but Kendall is making it sound like this place isn't a good place for James to recover. Yes, there's drama. That's what you get when you live with 4-6 other people give or take. It's also a blessing to live in a home with this many people to help take care of him. To keep him company. Nate has even opened his home to his dog. Hell, we built him his own bedroom, which is the size of a Marriott hotel room! Nate pays for EVERYTHING. Why is she complaining about this shit now?

"Yeah." Is all Kendall says in response to me and gets up to go back into her brother's room. That rubbed me the wrong way. We all bend over backward for James and make sure he has the best care possible. Sure, things can be stressful, but I'm a little put off by her lack of gratefulness.

Casey and Jonah come back up with the dog, and the house is still quiet.

"She still sleeping?" Jonah asks when he sees me sitting on the couch by myself.

"Yeah, or talking with Paul and Nate in Nate's room. Kendall is still here in James's room. But I don't know. She's acting weird today." I confide in Jonah and Casey while petting Maggie. I quietly tell them everything and how Kendall was implying this not being a good place for James. We stop talking the minute she comes out of his room.

"Ok, well, I tried. He doesn't want company today. This is all too stressful for him. It's not healthy." Kendall walks right out without another word.

"Wow. Ok. I see what you're saying." Casey watches Kendall leave and looks back at me. "James seems happy here to me. I think we ALL take good care of him here." She huffs.

"Can't please em all, I guess. Do you guys eat Chinese food? I'm thinking of ordering dinner." I change the topic right as Julia, Paul, and Nate come out of the bedroom together. Julia looks around the room and sees everyone but James. Casey points to his room to let her know that's where he is, and she nods.

"I'm gonna order Chinese for everyone, ok?" I say without looking up at my phone. Nate walks right past me but doesn't say two words to me. I feel a hard lump of anxiety in my throat. I look up and watch him walk out to the balcony for air. I place the Chinese food order and head out to the balcony.

"Hey..." I look over at Nate, who has his head dropped in his hands.

"Trisha, if you're gonna bicker about the damn pregnancy, now is not the time. I'm not in the mood." He keeps his head down. What I WAS gonna do was ask if he was ok. But tears build up in my eyes too fast, so I say nothing, turn around, and head back inside.

*****

*James*

On top of everything with Julia, my sisters are getting on my last nerve. Especially Kendall. She thinks this house is too stressful for me or something suddenly. I give her the 'silent' treatment because that's all I can do anyway. She ends up leaving like I want her to, seeing as today is not a great day.

About ten minutes later, I hear a knock on my door. I'm still in my bed with my arm over my face, but I feel Julia climb into bed and lay next to me, wrapping her arm around me and kissing my cheek. I drop my arm and pull her in to hug me, burying my face in her hair. I've been so worried about her.

"I'm ok." Julia nods against my shoulder. "I'm ok."

She lets me hold her in my arms for a good amount of time before backing away. Once she does, I kiss her lips. Just a few pecks, and she lets me.

"I think I have to drop the charges." She whispers. "I don't think I can fight him. Fight the Avalon. It's all bigger than me." I nod. I knew this already from hearing everyone talking while she was sleeping earlier. All I can do is nod and be here for her.

"Sounds like you've been giving everyone a hard time eating today. Are you pulling a Julia on em?"

I shrug. Julia gets out of bed and pulls me up. I stand and then hug her. She stays in my embrace for longer than we probably should before backing away. She can hear my stomach grumbling, now needing food, so we decide to leave my room. I know she will eat a little dinner if she knows how hungry I am.

Trisha ordered Chinese food, and everyone grabs a plate. Julia helps me with mine.

"So what happens now? How will she get her medication if she doesn't go back to the Avalon?" Nate asks while plating his food.

"I'm not sure yet. She has enough for the month, but I don't know about refills. We're gonna need to find you a psychiatrist soon. Like, tomorrow. Most book months out. That can't happen with you." Jonah explains.

"No psychiatrist is going to want me now. I bet they're all friends with the Donovan family." Julia pouts.

"We'll figure it all out." Jonah says.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me. 'We'll figure it out.' Why can't anything just come easy for me!" She bursts out and heads to the balcony. This stress is too much for her. Nate looks at me, and I nod. He fills my plate with food, and then Julia's and we take our food out to the balcony to be with her. Julia sits on the couch and cries. Both Nate and I sit on either side of her and put the plates down on the table in front of us.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be difficult." She sniffs. "I don't know how to handle this."

I push her plate on her, and she begins to eat, knowing I will not until I see her start. We all eat in silence for a few minutes.

"She put me in restraints today. She knew. But she still did it. It brought me right back to that night."

"I know, doll. Awful. You will never have to go back to the Avalon, ok?" Nate pats her knee. I continue to eat and let them talk since..well.. I can't.

"I don't know how to get better."

"James. Is living here too stressful for you?" Julia asks. Kendall got in her ear, didn't she? I'm gonna kill her. I shake my head no while continuing to eat.

"You'd tell me.. or ... you'd find a way to let me know if it's too stressful, though. Right?" That gets my attention. I look over at Julia, nod and squeeze her hand to let her know the only place I want to be is with her. I then put her plate on her lap so she would focus on her dinner. She laughs a little and then finally begins to eat.

"James. If it were possible. Would you want to come on tour with us? Me and Julia? Everyone? If I was able to make it work... would that be something you'd be interested in?" Nate looks across to me, and I stop eating. I shrug, and we leave it at that. Why is he asking me to go on tour with him. Is he really thinking of bringing Julia? She can't go on tour. She needs to stay here and take care of herself. Of me. Is that why he's asking me to go, because he knows she won't leave me here alone? It would be too much work for her to take care of me on the road. My main goal in life right now is to just get better so I can go back to my home. My job. My little life. I'm comfortable with my life. I've always been grateful for what I have. I don't need to travel the world or see anything. I thought Julia was simple, like me. Now, I'm not so sure. She always said how she could see her forever with me and my home and our life. Now Nate is opening her eyes to the things I can never provide, and she is loving it. It breaks my heart.

"Ok. Well, think about it. It's still three months away." Nate nods.

******

*Trisha*

I try to eat dinner, really, I do. Chinese food is my favorite. But the way Nate has been so cold towards me has made me lose my appetite. He takes me for granted, doesn't he? I'm now just a burden. A burden who can't keep up and isn't getting the job done for him. He used to look at me differently. Now he just doesn't look at me.

Nate comes in from the balcony while Julia and James finish eating and have a conversation with Jonah in the kitchen. I keep my eyes focused on my food. The last thing I need is Nate seeing me looking weak and crying. But I can't help my emotions lately. Nor can I help the tears stream down my face. I'm usually fantastic at hiding this shit. Fortunately, no one has caught on tonight. I've been upset since I ordered everyone's food, and no one has noticed.

No one has noticed....

I begin to cry harder, thinking that. I feel so damn alone right now, even in a room full of people. My face feels hot, my cheeks red, and the stinging of my tears overwhelms me. Yet I continue to carry on.

I quietly eat and keep my head down. Even when Nate sits down next to me.

"Hey. You good?" Nate whispers and leans into me a little.

"Yep."

"But you're not."

"I'm fine, Nate. Go take care of Julia." I stand up and throw my food away, then head to the sink to rinse off my plate before he notices the tears. But Nate follows.

"Why aren't you eating?" He stands next to me while I rinse off my dish.

"I'm not hungry."

"And why are you crying?"

"It doesn't matter, Nate. I'm fine." My voice cracks giving me away.

"But you're not." He tilts his face and studies mine.

"Nope. I sure as fuck am not." My voice cracks again and feel him put his arm around my waist.

"I'm sorry I've been such an asshole, lately." Nate apologizes and I finally make eye contact. But just for a moment.

"I'll go get the fucking abortion, ok?" I cry harder and look back down at the plates.

"Is that what you want?"

"Of course not!" I cry out. "But it's what you want." Doesn't he get it? I rather go through the fucking procedure than lose him as my best friend.

All I want is for Nate to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. Of course I want to have his baby. I just thought maybe he'd come around to wanting me to have the baby too. But he doesn't want the baby...OR me. Does he? He has Julia. She is now not only his lover but his best friend.

All I am to Nate now is his PA and an incompetent one at that. I'm so replaceable to him. I cry so hard thinking this.

"No. Don't." He pulls me in for a hug and that's when I lose it. I fall apart in his arms and don't give two shits if the rest of the room hears me.

"I don't want you doing that. Not if you don't want to. I'm sorry. I've been a dick to you. It's uncalled for and I'm sorry."

"I just can't do this alone!" I'm full on sobbing now. All the emotion I was so desperately trying to hold in comes out.

"I know, love. I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you need me to do, ok? I'll be whatever you need me to be."

I nod in his chest and he holds my face in his hands to make me look at him. "You won't be alone. We will figure it out, yeah?"

"Yeah."

******

*James*

"I'm done being the one people take advantage of. You know that?" Julia's Bipolar is starting to show as her mood shifts from crying to now angry. "James. Do you wanna go get a drink with me tonight?"

I nod. Of course I do. I could use a drink...or ten... right about now.

"Cmon." She pulls me up and we walk into the living room together. Her moods are all over the place but I can't really say anything so I leave well enough alone.

"Paul. I need a drink. You in or are we doing this alone?" Paul also needs to let off steam. Jonah just looks at us and shakes his head but we walk out the door regardless, knowing Jonah will tell Nate where we are going.

Paul drives us to Sullivan's Tap. God, I can't even remember the last time I've been here. We walk in to the crowded pub and it's like EVERYONE I know is here.

My uncle Mac is the first one to hug me and then Natalie. I smile, feeling human again. No one here looks at me like I'm disabled. They are all happy to see me.

We walk to the back. Nate's booth. It's like it was saved for us or something. Seeing how crowded the bar is we're all surprised no one is sitting here. We slide in, Paul first, then Julia, then me. The music is loud. The TVs are loud. The cheering for a soccer game is loud.

It's perfect.

"Jamie, you look so good. You feeling good?" Natalie comes over to take our orders. "Whiskey, neat..right?" I nod and then Paul and Julia also nod. It takes all of two minutes for Natalie to come with our order. She also puts down a bowl of mixed nuts for us to graze.

Julia gulps down her whiskey in one shot. I knew this would happen.

"Ok then. I see how tonight's gonna go. How about I bring the bottle?" She looks at me and I nod. Julia then helps me grip my drink so I can take a swig of whiskey. I lean back in the booth and close my eyes, feeling the warmth of the booze burn down my throat just like I need it to..

"You needed this, huh?" Julia asks. I nod yes. Babe, you have no idea what it's like to live in this skin right now. No damn idea. "And I know YOU need this." Julia looks at Paul who also nods.

Natalie comes back with a full bottle. "My dad said it's on the house tonight." She whispers to me. I look up at my uncle Mac across the room and nod to thank him.

"We're here for you, Jamie. Anytime. Ok? You too." Nat notices Julia's tears. The whole world knows all of her shit. Of course Natalie would know as well.

Paul and I sip our whiskeys slowly but not Julia. Not tonight.

"Sorry boys. I'm not here to sip. I'm here to forget." She downs another glass and pours her third. Paul and I share a look, knowing we are going to have to stay sober for her.

"Go ahead, James. Drink away." Paul says. "I can have as many drinks as I want at Trisha's. You two can't." He continues to sip from his glass but I take a massive gulp now and Julia laughs.

"I knew that's what you wanted to do." She tops off my glass and puts my hand back on it.

I remember the last time we were in this bar together and I have a feeling Julia does too. It was the night she got so drunk and was ready to break up with me. I knew she loved Nate more. He can give her more. But she had chosen me for awhile. She was ready to be with me. I should have known. Nate can give her the things I never can. Yet I keep getting my hopes up she will change her mind.

*****

"How can I make you forget, Babe? Tell me. But you're gonna make yourself sick if you drink this much this fast."

"I love you, James." I catch him off guard, and he sits up straighter. "I love everything about you. I love you like you're my best friend." I study the man's face. "But I need to love you enough to want my clothes in your dresser and my toothbrush next to yours. You deserve that."

"What are you doing, Julia..." He takes my hand and holds it tight.

"James..."

"Julia..... please." His eyes water up a little. "Don't do this."

*****

"I remember the last time I was here." julia begins. I open my eyes and nod then take another sip of the poison.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for ALWAYS hurting you. I know I'm stressful to be around."

Stop saying that, babe. All I want is to be with you. Life will always be stressful. I just want life with you.

"Julia. Knock it off and drink." Paul grumbles without so much as blinking away from the TV. He doesn't want tonight to be an emotional shitshow.

"Fine. No more talking."Julia announces and I laugh, hearing my voice come through. Paul refills all of our glasses including his, and we silently cheer to the silent night.

When I say all three of us get plastered. I mean it. Even Paul. Hours go by as we continue to fill our bodies with the poison without saying two words to each other.

"You know what I hate?" Julia breaks the silence after two straight hours of my world.

"No. Shhh." Paul shuts her down again.

"Fine. Be that way."

I think Natalie can tell we are wasted when she comes over.

"So...I know Nate's driver, um... passed away." She says awkwardly. "So we called Nate and his new driver will be waiting for you whenever you are done."

"Thank you Natasha." Julia slurrs.

"Natalie."

"Yeah. Whatever.. Thank you.. you."

Julia then raises her hand obnoxiously like she's in a classroom waiting for the teacher to call on her.

"What Juliaaa.." Paul grumpily mumbles.

"I think we should leave now." She shows us we drank the entire bottle dry. I agree. We are so wasted. Time to go home. I slide out of the booth and surprise myself by how steady I am. Guess I just gotta drink to be steady now.

"Guess you just need to be drunk to function properly now." Julia laughs, struggling to get out of the booth. She slides down onto the floor and crawls out the other side. "What?"

"You're a mess." Paul laughs.

"Have you SEEN my day? Actually.. you most certainly have. Let me be drunk, will ya?"

"Sure thing. You deserve it." Paul nods and takes her arm. He sways a little, but nothing like Julia and for once, I look completely sober even though I damn well am not.

It's funny how that works.

Ren gets us home safely.. The elevator doors open, and Jonah and Casey are in the living room watching TV together. Trisha fell asleep on the other side of the couch, and who knows where Nate is.

"You. You're not allowed to go in there until you brush your teeth and change your clothes." Jonah scolds Julia like a parent. "Nate put your shit in the guest bathroom."

"Awww. Thanks, Pal."

"And you.. You are sleeping it off right here on the couch." Casey throws a pillow at Paul. "Next time, it's the nurses turn to get wasted."

Paul laughs and makes himself comfortable on the other side of the couch.

"And you...did you even drink? How is James the sober one and Paul's not?"

"Ohhh, he's ANYTHING but sober." Julia laughs. "But the wiring in his brain is fudged up. Look at him. I wouldn't be surprised if he learned to speak while drunk, too." I casually sit next to Jonah and watch Julia stumble to the guest bathroom.

Once she is in her pajamas she helps me to bed. But I don't need it. I'm doing a better job at undressing myself than she currently is.

Once in bed she lays with me nd rests her head on my chest. If only we could stay like this forever. If only Julia loved me like she once did. Back when I was functioning properly. Now the only thing that functions properly is my dick and it's clearly letting her know right now. She ignores it though and wraps her body around me.

I close my eyes and begin to fall asleep with the woman I love right next to me in my bed. I even think I feel her kiss the corner of my mouth a few times right as I drift off.

*****

*Trisha*

Everyone is in bed now. Paul is fucking passed out on the other end of the couch. I lay on my side with my pillow and blanket and let my mind run wild for a bit.

The I hear Nate's door open. I close my eyes and hear him walk through the living room in the dark to retrieve Julia who must have fallen asleep in James's room. She was probably pretty drunk.

Nate comes back out in the dark with Julia in his arms. With the house being so silent I can hear them talking a bit in his room. I can't hear what they are saying but Julia is awake now.

Then... I begin to hear the bed making noise. I get an awful pit in my stomach listening to them having sex in Nate's bedroom. The same room I have had sex with him in. Once again, I begin to cry.

Julia's moans echo through his room and I can hear it. I can hear her "Oh God's" as the bed bangs against the wall faster. I cover my face in the pillow so no one can hear my cries.

What didn't I have that she does? I've always tried so hard to make Nate happy. God, he knows how I really feel about him. I've hinted it so many times over the year. Yet I lay here, on his couch, carrying his baby and cry in his pillow while he makes love to Julia. I'll never be good enough. No matter how hard I try.

I'll never be good enough.

****

After about an hour of listening to Nate and Julia having sex, they finally stop for a minute. But my tears don't.

"Hey. Are you crying?" Paul wakes up a little. He then hears them when they start back up and looks at me in the dark.

"Trish... do you want to go home?" His eyes adjust to the dark and he sees me nod. He pulls out his phone and requests an uber. He seems sober now that he slept a little but his car is at the pub. Even though this apartment is the friggen size of your local Target, We can both hear the activity going on in Nate's bedroom.

"C'mon. Let's get outta here." Paul takes my hand, and we leave Nate's apartment.

"Sorry. I don't know why I'm crying. Must be my hormones." I say while in the elevator. Paul gives me a sympathetic look and also a look telling me he's not stupid. But he doesn't say anything to embarrass me. He's Paul. He's good like that.

We take an Uber to my apartment, and like always, Paul makes sure it's safe before we enter and then locks the door behind him.

"You're still crying..."

"I know. Sorry. I can't help it."

"Trish.... How long have you felt this way towards Nate?" He finally asks, putting a hand on my shoulder while I wipe my eyes.

"Forever. But it doesn't matter now, does it? What I feel doesn't matter to anyone lately." My bottom lip trembles a little, and I quickly turn away, hoping Paul doesn't notice.

Instead, with his hand still on my shoulder, he turns me back around and pulls me into his embrace. I now cry so fucking hard in his arms. I sob. Paul holds me and I fucking lose it.

I'm well aware I'm a mess. I'm well aware I'm depressed, sad and lonely. I'm well aware Nate will never love me or look at me the way he loves and looks at Julia.

I'm also well aware that I'm gonna be a mother and no man is going to want me, especially with a baby. Especially with Nate Holan's baby. So I cry and feel sorry for myself while Nate makes love to Julia.

"I'm not a jealous woman, Paul. But...What the hell does she have that I don't have? Why..because she's broken? Is that why every guy bends over backwards for her? Because she's fucking broken and I'm not? Well, now I'm fucking broken too. And yet. I'm still alone in this. I'm all alone!" I push myself off him while crying.

"I'm fucking broken now too. Nobody fucking cares." I push his chest again, feeling anger rise up in my cries.

"I just want someone to care!" I push him again but Paul grabs my wrists while I'm sobbing. He pulls me in again and holds me so tight now.

"Ssshhh. You're not alone, ok? You're not broken." He whispers in my ear while I stand here having a pity party for one. Paul leans back a little and takes my face into both hands to look up at him.

"I care." He wipes my tears with both thumbs and before I can realize what is happening...Paul's eyes fall to my lips and he crashes his mouth against mine. It's like a spark ignites in me. Something I have NEVER felt. I can taste the whiskey on his lips and for the first time ever, it's all I want to taste.

Paul holds my face with both hands and kisses me with so much passion I feel like I may explode into one big firework. I have NEVER felt this before. Not from ANYONE. Not even Nate.

We kiss with more boldness now. Recklessness. With so much desire, like we have been waiting for this forever. Because I think we have. My lips part and his tongue grazes mine. The second our tongues touch, my whole body becomes stimulated and we both take it up a notch.

Paul picks me up and I wrap my arms and legs around him without breaking our kiss. While holding me up by my ass, he walks us to his bedroom. He makes it look so easy, effortless, like I weigh absolutely nothing. He gently places me on the bed and I sit up on the side of the bed to continue kissing him. The sensation is overwhelming and I can't stop kissing him now.

It's all I've ever wanted to feel. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones kicking in. Maybe it's Paul. Maybe it's years of attraction that I put on the backburner thanks to my obsession over my best friend.

But right now. Right here.

This feels so right.

And he must feel it too because he's reciprocating in all the ways. He quickly peels his shirt off and my heart skips a bit.

He is just as muscular as James. My hands immediately feel his chest and abs. His 'James body', Chiseled to perfection, each and every muscle displayed never mind a six pack, an eight pack, with toned pecs, huge shoulders and biceps, believe it or not, actually bigger than James, and James is a pretty damn muscular guy.

Why the hell am I thinking about James?

I quickly reel myself in. Paul pulls me up to my knees on his bed and I take off my t-shirt, revealing I'm not wearing a bra. Its like Paul hasn't been with someone in ages. Maybe he hasn't. He takes me in his mouth with so much hunger, then switches to the other side, letting his mouth explore more while his hand cups me. I arch my back and bite my bottom lip from it all. Its like- he can't get enough. And I can't get enough. And everything moves fast. I can feel him through his jeans as he pulls my body against his. I quickly unbuckle his belt and jeans and pull them down. While he takes them off and then pulls down his boxer briefs, I pull my leggings off and then my underwear, leaving us both completely naked in the dark.

Paul has been blessed, too. Just like James.

Again, Trisha- stop with the James. But it's hard not to see the similarities here. Two muscular Italian men ... who have both been blessed immensely.

I quickly pull him down onto his bed and roll on top of him.

Paul says nothing, nor does he stop me, which makes me think he has also been feeling this tension for a while.

He hides it well.... until he doesn't. Like right now.

He drops his hands to my hips and squeezes me, pulling me in to move against him. He's not inside me, but the sensation is indescribable. I move against him at a faster pace while we kiss, our tongues moving perfectly together. Who would have thought my bodyguard was such an amazing kisser?

My fingers tangle in his hair and I bring him in more, needing more.. needing so much more.

Paul is the one to break our kiss, yet continues to pull and push my hips against him repetitively, unable to stop feeling the sensation.

"Wait." He breathes out. "What are we doing?" He looks at me with those smoldering eyes while I move back and forth on him.

"What do you want us to be doing?" I whisper and close my eyes for a second, taking in the tingling sensation I'm experiencing before opening my eyes again.

"We shouldn't..." Paul tries to come to his senses yet still pulls me into to him.

"Probably not... but.. Paul..." I kiss the side of his neck, hearing this low deep groan come out of him that turns me on even more. "I want you."

I REALLY want Paul right now. Like more than I've ever wanting anyone. ANYONE......

He crashes his mouth against mine and rolls on top of me.

"Please." It's all I need to say.

I can't wait any longer. I line him up to me and nod, letting him know it's ok. He slowly pushes into me, making me gasp and close my eyes tight. The sensation is almost TOO much it's so good if that even makes sense. He lets me adjust, and then- Paul uses all those damn muscles and slams in and out of me with so much force I come undone instantly and shake under him. I have NEVER felt this. The moans coming out of me don't even sound like my own. I've lost complete control, taking it all in and letting myself go completely- not caring how loud I am, or what my facial expressions might look like, I hold on to Paul with all I have as he rounds his back and continues to thrust so fast it takes my breath away.

How the hell is this man still single??

I pull his head down to the crook of my neck and he goes wild, crashing into me even faster.

"Holy shit Paul." I moan as he pulls my knee up to his shoulder, making me feel him even deeper now.

I become weak. Like my entire body just relaxes, letting him take over. Everything about him feels so good. The way he looks at me, the way he kisses me, the way he touches me. It's like he was here all along and I never noticed, but now.... now he is the only person, and I can't get enough of him.

"You feel so good." I gasp.

"I've wanted this for so long." Paul admits close to my ear, making me clench my muscles around him. He's throbbing inside me, and I know he's getting close.

I hear him groan into my neck. His bedroom fills up with our moans and movements. The way Paul kisses my neck, the way I attach my lips to his shoulder, trying not to let out moans that are too loud. He drops his hand in between my legs and works on my nerves. The sensation builds up fast and I shake under him again, rounding my back off the mattress and into him as I orgasm. I hold on to him so tight while he slams into me.

He lets out a gasp and I come undone again right as he releases into me, still slamming into me with everything he has.

He slowly rocks in and out of me, riding it out and then kisses me again while he's still inside of me. It's the sweetest yet sexiest kiss I've ever experienced.

"You will never be alone in this, Trisha." He breathes out.

I wrap my arms around my bodyguard and have never felt so safe and loved in my life. Surprisingly, he doesn't just get up out of bed like most men. Not Paul. He rolls off me but pulls me in, holding my leg across his abs. I pull the covers with me and rest my head on his chest.

This is how we fall asleep. Wrapped around each other just like this.

And for the first time in two months. I don't feel like I'm all alone anymore.

******

I wake up in the same exact position we fell asleep in. My leg around Paul's abs. One of his arms wrapped around me, the other holding my thigh.

"Mornin." I say with my eyes still closed.

"Mmm." Paul's usual grumpy morning self says.

"I'll start your coffee." I try to sit up but Paul holds on to my leg and shakes his head, still half asleep.

"Uh-uh. No. I don't need coffee."

If anyone knows Paul knows his body is about 90% coffee. I open my eyes and look up at the sleepy man.

"Just this." He pulls me in a little more with his eyes still closed. "It's all I need."

I rest the side of my face back on his chest and close my eyes. I feel him kiss the top of my head and rub my back.

I don't know what this is, and I don't care. For the first time in a while, I fall back asleep with a lovestruck smile on my face.