*James*

Finally, the game playing is over. Nate backed down and Paul is with Julia now. We can all move on with our lives. Do I wish it was me? Of course I do. But Paul is perfect for Julia. He won't put up with any of her shit either. But I do feel bad for Nate. He actually broke down and cried in front of Jonah and me. It was hard to watch. Nate really does love Julia; it just was never going to work out between them. He got so worked up that Jonah ended up taking him home before Julia came out of her room.  I let her know he wasn't mad or anything like that. It was just too much for him.

Now that the ordeal is over, Julia should be able to focus on her mental health again. All that stress had caused her to wake up frequently in the middle of the night. Which in return wakes me up. She won't talk about her dreams with me which I find weird but let it go. She'll talk when she's ready.

Today I'm skipping the sessions because the girls are going to bring Mom over for a visit. The last time they attempted this; it was a disaster. However, she has been asking to see me, and coming here is the only way to make that happen. On the plus side, Lindsay is also coming to visit, and mom loves Lindsay, as do my sisters. Having company will break up my day.

Paul opens the door when Lindsay arrives, and I laugh as Julia rolls her eyes at him for checking Lindsay out. I think he does it on purpose to get a rise out of Julia, but Lindsay DOES look good day. She looks good every day. She must have just come from a work meeting because she's not in her usual gym clothes attire today. Instead, Lindsay has on a light blue silk button-down top tucked into a black skirt that hugs her body in all the right places. Her hair was in a ponytail as always, and black heels that make her taller than me now.

"Hi, James!" My bubbly ex bounces in happily. She pecks my lips, and Maggie runs right to her when she hears Lindsay's voice.

"Stop gawking. Let's go before Cohen writes me up." Julia shoves Paul in the chest as she walks towards the Avalon door. Lindsay notices Paul take Julia's hand and her eyebrows go up in surprise.

"Are they.... wow. Go, Paulie." Lindsay says once they are already gone. "So.... Julia and Nate really did break up? I only know what the internet tells me."

"Yeah. They called it quits. Well, Julia did. Hollan is having a hard time with it, though." I plop down on the sofa and Linds sits right next to me. Maggie settles down and starts playing with her chew toy.

"I reckon you had a hard time for a while there too." She pokes me in the chest. "So he's single now, hmmmm?"

"I thought you were dating some guy Matthew??"

"Yeah, that went south." Lindsay pouts. "He already has a wife and three kids. Fricken liar."

Now it's my turn to sport a look of surprise. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the situation like it's no big deal. Lindsay is drop-dead gorgeous but has had no luck with relationships lately. I can't help but laugh hearing this story though. This is a guy she picked up in a gay bar first of all, and she now finds out he's hitched with three kids!?! 

"Does this mean you can fool around with me now?" I flirt. Lindsay looks around the apartment and shrugs. Then throws me a seductive little smile and rests her hand on my thigh.

"I guess it does."

********

*Trisha*

This is for the best. Julia was an anchor holding Nate down. Let Paul deal with her crazy. For a few days, Nate was feeling down and out, but he eventually managed to snap out of his funk. I don't have much patience for him when he gets like that but Jonah is a good friend to Nate. He made himself available and was the listening ear when Nate needed to vent.

While Nate was busy drowning in his tears I was busy drowning in meetings. I really don't think Evan was aware of what he was signing up for though because my days are hectic and all over the place. Leslie, Nate's tour manager, wants to meet up to go over the agenda moving forward. But before that, I have to have another counseling session with Jeremy Donovan.

It's the last thing I want to do right now but it needs to be done. Plus, I'm not going in alone. I have a bodyguard with me so that helps. But I absolutely HATE going to the Avalon for these appointments.

"Right this way," a nurse escorts Evan and me to Jeremy's after signing us in. "He should be in momentarily."

"God, I hate this place." I mutter, once the door is closed. Evan is in bodyguard mode so doesn't respond. He turns into Paul when he is working. Silent. On edge. Especially knowing what he knows about Jeremy. He stands by the door with his arms crossed over his chest while I make my way over to the couch. I look around the office and roll my eyes at how meticulous Donovan is with cleanliness, just like Nate. OCD to the max.

The door swings open and Jeremy rushes in, paying no attention to Scofield. That's another thing I've noticed with Jeremy. He has no fear. No bodyguard intimidates him, not even Paul who is a pretty intimidating man. It just doesn't affect Jeremy. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

"Trisha, hi. Sorry, I'm a few minutes late. Cohe- um. Dr. Cohen has me in various tasks today." Jeremy straightens his tie and quickly makes his way over to his desk, grabs a folder, and then heads to one of the leather chairs in front of me. I knew that lady had it out for Julia and Nate but now think she is making Jeremy pay the price as well by the looks of it.

"How did you do driving this week?" He opens the folder which I assume is a chart he made up for me. Great. I have a fucking chart here at the Avalon. Just fucking lovely.

"I drove here from Modern Studios if that says anything."

"Good! That's a little ways away! And how did you do?" He jots something down in my chart.

"Ok, I think. Just that one intersection..." My words trail off as I glance at Evan. He remains silent but he had to have me pull over so he could drive through that one area because I freaked out again.

"What happens when you get to that intersection?" Jeremy looks up from my chart now.

"I... I don't know. I just freeze up. It all comes back to me. Everything about the accident and then seeing James..and then Malcome..." My voice cracks a little.

"Malcolm..."

"Nate's driver. He died." I explain, and visions of seeing Nate's private driver dead at the scene flash through my head. The doctor nods and gives me a sympathetic look.

"It's going to take time, Trisha. You all went through a great deal not only that day but the months that followed. You may never forget the things you saw after the collision, and that's completely normal.  It's like a soldier who can't forget the deaths witnessed in a war."

I glance up at Evan again, who stiffens and avoids eye contact. I wonder if he went through counseling for all the stuff he's seen in the military.

"For now, if it is too much to go through that specific intersection, it's best to avoid it. Right now your focus should be feeling comfortable behind the wheel again. Baby steps. Eventually, I would to see you drive through the center of town without even considering the events that occurred, but this will come with time."

A knock on the door interrupts us and Jeremy lets out an exaggerated sigh.

"Sorry, it might be Dr. Cohen."

Evan takes a step to the side to allow Jeremy to open the door. The moment I lock eyes with Dave, everything around me comes to a standstill.

"Shit." Jeremy quickly slides out and forcefully slams the door behind him. All the color must have drained from my face, given the way Evan is staring at me. Since he had stepped aside to allow Jeremy to answer the door, he couldn't see who had knocked. He furrows his brows at me.

"Dave," I whisper. "Dave is right outside the door."

******

*James*

"Holy shit, James." Lindsay breathes out and I laugh. She says that every time we have sex, it's like being me is something new to her, and she's surprised by what she feels.

I drop her leg so she can stand but press her against the wall a few more times, not willing to let go of the sensation yet.

"Sorry," I smirk. "It's been a little while."

"I'll say. I think you broke my pelvis." Lindsay rests her forehead on my shoulder, attempting to catch her breath. "You always feel so good."

I pull out and my ex throws her arms around me for one last kiss. She then walks into the bathroom, wearing only her thigh-high stockings and heels. God, she's a force to be reckoned with that one.

"Um... just don't take too long, Linds. I still struggle with dressing myself sometimes." 

That's all I need. Someone to come back into Julia's apartment with me completely naked in the living room and my ex-girlfriend naked in the bathroom. I lean against the wall and patiently wait for Lindsay to clean up, feeling guilty that the whole time I was having sex with her, my mind was on Julia.

I am aware that I'm no longer in the picture and have accepted that, but I can't help but still think of her occasionally. Today being one of those days. Especially since it was the same position as the first time me and Julia had sex. Right up against a wall in the Marriott lobby. I laugh a little thinking about that and how we could have gotten busted but didn't care.

"What are you thinking about over there?" Lindsay sees me smirking when she walks out of the bathroom and squints her eyes at me.

"Will you just hurry up and help me gets dressed already? Before we get caught?"

"You never cared about getting caught before..." Lindsay knows me too well. I once took her in the storage closet in the hotel with the door cracked open. She helps me get dressed and then picks up her clothes that are scattered around the living room.

"I think you should stay like this and not get dressed." I stand behind her and pull her against me.

"Oh yeah? I'm sure your roommates would love walking in to see that." She drops her head to the side when I passionately begin kissing her neck.

"Paul probably would." I tease but feel myself harden again. "Round two? Before they come back?"

Lindsay reaches back and threads her fingers through my hair. "You're insatiable, you know that?"

"I do." I bend her over the arm of the couch and have my way with her again. And once again, think of Julia while doing so.

*****

*Trisha*

Evan decides to sit next to me while we wait for Jeremy to return. I fidget with my hands and it's noticed.

"Hey. You're ok. I'm right here with you." The bodyguard says.

"I know. It's not that. I know he's not gonna do anything. He's not drunk." I huff. "But now he knows I come here. I come here and get fucking therapy from his rapist cousin. How fucked up is that?!"

"When you put it like that, yeah, that's pretty messed up isn't it?" Evan finds humor in the situation.

 What are they talking about in the hall? Me? Now that Dave knows I come here? Will Jeremy be professional and keep his trapper shut?

"I can't be here." I bolt up, feeling panicky now, and head to the door, making Evan jump up to follow. Before I'm able to escape Jeremy opens the door and comes back in, almost bumping right into me in panic mode.

"Hey." He puts both hands on my shoulders, but Evan quickly pulls me back. "It's ok, he's gone."

"He saw me in here." I push Jeremy's chest but then stop myself and back away. It catches him off guard and once again his eyes fill with sympathy. Holy shit I just acted like fucking Moretti! What the hell has gotten into me!

"Trisha, he's gone." Jeremy speaks in a softer more reassuring tone as Evan pulls me further away and I sit back down on the couch, noticeably flustered.

"What does he know? What did you tell him about me?" I shriek, clearly on the brink of a panic attack.

"Hey, take a deep breath. I didn't tell him anything. Part of my job is keeping what is said in this room confidential."

"But he asked," I state. "Didn't he? He asked why I was here. He's gonna think-"

"Trisha. He can ask all he wants. Doesn't matter. I tell him nothing. He knows he won't get anything out of me either. Don't forget he's my cousin. He knows I won't budge."

I drop my head in my hands.

"That's not good enough. This was a bad idea, coming here. Being here." I abruptly get up, making Evan scramble to his feet and following me out of the office.

"Trisha....wait." Jeremy sighs but I ignore him.

 I can't be near Dave and he sure as hell can't be near me or even know where I go. Now he knows I come here. 

Coming here was such a bad idea.

****