*James*

****

"Trish.... you can't take James away from Julia like that."

"Julia is at the Avalon. You said it yourself. She signed the forms to be a permanent resistant there."

"WHAT?!!" 

****

I almost dropped Nate's medication on the floor when I heard him and Trisha talking. "Julia is a permanent resistant there? Since when??"

Nate explained it all to me. How is all went down. How Julia wasn't thinking clearly. All of it. What the hell was she thinking!! I spend the rest of the day thinking about this decision. It consumes me. 

If Julia lives at the Avalon what will happen to me when Everyone goes on tour? Am I back under my sisters care again?  Who will watch over Julia? Jeremy???

"Hey. You ok?" Trisha pops into my bedroom. I'm sitting on the couch driving myself crazy with all the what ifs.

"I can't believe Julia did that."

"I know. But maybe it's a good thing. She is determined to get better. She knows she needs help. Maybe this will help her." Trisha sits down next me.

"I think she did it without thinking. You know how she gets. She's pissed you and I are together and jumping off the deep end. Making it so she isn't a burden to others. I know how she thinks. She's really not taking this well." I mumble.

"She'll come around."  Trisha begins kissing my jawline trying to change the subject.

"What happens if she doesn't though, She's my best friend." I say as she kisses my neck.

"Can we not talk about Julia Moretti right now? It's kind of a buzzkill." She presses her hand against my hard on and I groan. But I'm hard BECAUSE I'm thinking about Julia. She's anything but a buzzkill. I obviously don't tell Trisha this.

"Hey, what do you want to do today?" She pecks my lips.

"Actually, I really need to clear the air with Julia. Do you mind if I go to The Avalon for a little while?"

"You're kidding, right?" The look dissatisfaction creeps up on Trisha's face.

"I'm sorry. I really need to make things right. She's already going through such a hard time. I really wanted to keep things quiet until after she detoxed."

"Between you and Nate I don't know who is worse. You might as well rent a cot at The Avalon." She says with sarcasm and stands up, ready to leave.

"I'll make it up to you." I gaze at her.

"Yeah? How?"

"C'mere and I'll show you."

******

*Trisha*

James will use sex to his advantage any chance he gets. Which isn't such a bad thing when I'm the one benefiting from it. For the first time ever, I don't think of Nate. Not when I'm with James. It's hard to think of ANYONE else but James when you're with James.

So yes, I give in.  After Casey takes us to run errands, James asks to swing by the Avalon.

"So, I guess we just wait here?" Casey looks over to me now. I sense she is going to ask me if we can go into the Avalon, but we are interrupted by Nate who taps on the passenger window. I roll it down and bat my lashes at him.

"May I help you?" I tease.

"Can I ask why you two are here?" Nate leans against the car. His car that he lets Casey borrow since Julia is here.

"James wanted to visit Julia." I sigh.

"So why are YOU here?" He asks, still a bit confused.

"We were running errands. But Julia has been on his mind all day, so he conned us into taking him. I sure as hell am not stepping foot into that place though."

"You sound mad about having to bring him here, Trish." Nate states in irritation. "You know she's going through a lot, right? She probably feels like she's losing her best friend right now."

"She'll get over it."

"That's a very unattractive quality you have. You know that?"  He backs up, ready to head inside. Oh my gosh, everyone is so on edge lately.

"Actually...." Casey speaks up now. "Nate, do you mind if I join you? I'd like to see Julia too." She looks at me nervously. "Sorry. I really want to see her."

Is she serious?

"Whatever. I'll wait here by myself then." I cross my arms.

"Seriously? You won't come in to see her?" Nate presses on. He knows I can't go in there.

"Right now? With all that is going on? She will tear my eyes out. No thanks."

"Well, you could, you know, talk it out with her. Have a real conversation with Julia."

"Again. No thanks."

 "Cmon mini-Julia." He shakes his head at me as they head inside. Whatever. I'll just wait here, by myself.

*****

*James*

Julia and I have never experienced awkward silence. Not like this. We sit outside on the grass near the garden while Maggie runs around and gets some fresh air. Usually, we can sit in silence and be completely content with it but today I want to hash this out. I want to stay on good terms with Julia. I love her. I don't want it to be like this.

"Julia. Can we please talk about this?"

"What's there to talk about?" She shrugs.

"Everything. There's everything to talk about. I miss you. You're my best friend. I hate that you're sad because of me." I nudge her a little, trying to get a smile out of her. "And then to find out you admitted yourself here as a resident?!"

Julia pays no attention to me bringing up her permanent residency here. She jumps right on the Trisha topic. It's eating at her. "Why her? How did it happen? When?" Julia pauses and looks at me. "Are you sleeping with her?"

I look down and begin pulling at the grass. I didn't think she would ask me this. I thought maybe she just assumed. But now I can bring myself to make eye contact because I know this hurts her.

"Got it." Julia nods and stands up.

"Babe, c'mon."  I grab her hand and pull her back down, so she is sitting on the grass between my legs. She drops her forehead to my chest and begins to cry. 

"Aww sweetie. Don't cry." I hold her tighter.

"Why Trisha? You could pick anyone else, and I wouldn't have a problem. Anyone else. I want to see you happy. You know that." 

"It just sorta happened. And I feel bad. Because I know how you feel about her. I know how she makes you feel. Remember, you and me, we tell each other everything." I kiss her cheek.

"She's never going to love you the way I love you. She's going to break your heart."

"I hate this." I mutter while wiping Julia's tears. "I hate that I'm the one making you cry."

"I can't help it, James." She sniffs. "We're in Best Friend Mode. I'm going to give you all of me...even if it's because of you that I'm crying. Kinda what best friends do. I just don't want to see you to get hurt. I just hate that it's her." 

"Babe, I really like her..." 

"I'm sure you do. What's not to like? She's the opposite of me." She croaks out.

"Julia...."

"James."

"Stop. I LOVE you. You know this. You chose Nate, remember???" Need I remind her this? I've been chasing Julia for so long. Now that I'm not, she's heartbroken. I know it's because it's Trisha. If it were Lindsay or anyone else, Julia would be happy for me.

"Bet she's real good in bed too." Julia laughs but it's forced.

"Oh my God. I can't tell if you're joking or being serious."

"Maybe a little of both. She is, isn't she? Best friend mode. Now you have to tell me. It's in the rule book." She stares ahead.

"Rule book, huh?" I chuckle. "All sex feels good. It's sex."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Julia...." She really wants me to answer this? Why is she putting herself through this torture? "Fine. Yes, she's good in bed. But it's different. She's not you. Ok?"

I can tell Julia regrets asking me this question. I can also tell she is driving herself crazy imagining it.

"Stop picturing us having sex. I know that's what you're doing. You will drive yourself crazy."

"Do you see where we are right now???" She turns around to face me and sits on her knees.  I had no idea she's been crying this entire time we've been talking.  Sitting behind her with her leaning against my chest prevented me from seeing her tears. More than just tears, holding in sobs. This is serious. I am tearing her apart.

"Aww sweetie." I tuck her hair behind her ears.

"Does this mean you're going on tour with them?"

Shit. I didn't really put much thought into this.

"What?! I- I don't know. That's a few weeks away." I stammer.

"You know what? It's fine. You should go." She begins to cry even harder now. "You should experience it all. You'll.... you'll have fun." Julia stands up. "Sorry. I can't do this."

"Julia, C'mon." 

But Julia isn't having it. She rushes back inside, leaving me out here to sulk.  I don't know what to do. Julia loves me and I love her, but she chose Nate. I finally move on and now I'm the bad guy here? I can't win. I also can't stop thinking about Julia when I am with Trisha, and I really like Trisha. That only means one thing.

I'm still not over Julia Moretti.

******

*Trisha*

While sitting in the car, wondering why the hell everyone is taking so long, I stare at the entrance to The Avalon. I'm not really paying attention to the people walking in and out of the facility. Not at first.

Not until I see Dave walk out with another man. He notices me immediately and begins to head my way. Then I realize the person he is with parked right next to us. At first, Dave gives me a slight nod, ready to open the passenger door to the SUV next to me but then he runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a sigh.

My window is still rolled down from when Nate was here talking so I can hear Dave's voice as he talks.

"Mitch, can you give me a minute?" He walks around the SUV and stands at my window.

"Hey..." He leans down and I hate hate HATE to admit I get the butterflies in my stomach. Because Dave is my addiction. My deadly addiction.  Even with a restraining order he is still someone I once loved and can't ignore the feeling I get when he is near.

"Hey."

"I'm getting the help I need. I just want you to know that, Trish. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you." Dave gets right to it and I'm already lost in his eyes. "That guy, Mitch. He's, my sponsor. He's been helping me a lot."

"That's good to hear."

"Anyway, I know I can't be near you. I just wanted you to know that. That and how sorry I am." Dave stands up straighter and turns to walk away.

"Dave?" I call out. What the hell are you doing, Trisha?? Dave turns around and gazes down at me.

"I'm really proud of you. I know this is hard to do." I give him a slight nod. He smiles brightly at me.

"Thanks Trish."

And just like that, he is gone.

And just like that, I'm thinking about Dave Brennan again.

******