"Hello?"

"Hey man." Ihsaan's voice sounded thick and heavy and his tone was slurred with drink.

"What Ihsaan?" Mikaeel sighed- his day had just gone from shit to shittier.

"I need your help Mickey. I don't know what to do." He sounded as if he was drained. He was just drained and exhausted. "Please. No one else can help me."

"Fine."

"Please fetch me. I'm at the Blue's Room."

"On my way." Mikaeel ended the call, shoving his phone back into his pocket before he leaned back against the heavy wooden doors. All his life he had wondered why his mother had never liked him. She doted on Imtiyaaz, she loved Ilhaam but him- She never had the time for him and he finally figured out why. She didn't want him and when she had him, it made no difference to her life. It only made things worse.

 He never figured it out. His mother had always kept a tight lid on her secrets and he would never bother asking Imtiyaaz how he had come to know. The sneaky bastard had his ways and it was never at the top of Mikaeel's agenda to figure it out.

But now he understood. He understood why his dad was quick to take his side and why his mum always looked at him as if he were an alien in his own home but it was never his fucking fault. He didn't ask her to give birth to him.

He blew warm air uselessly into his hands as he finally pushed himself off the wall and began walking towards his car...

"Hey." Ihsaan smiled at him from his spot at the bar.

"What?" Mikaeel walked up to him, sitting down heavily beside him.

"What what?" He looked perplexed as he tried to focus on Mikaeel.

"Why did you call me?"

"I missed you man." He said, reaching forward to hug Mikaeel.

Mikaeel pushed his forehead back with his palm before standing up to leave.

"Eish!" He looked up shocked at his friend. "Where you going?"

"Home." He zipped up his jacket before fishing for his car keys in his pocket.

Ihsaan looked up at him, peering curiously at his face. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes Ihsaan." Mikaeel bit out. "I'm okay."

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter..." He mumbled. "You look like crap so sit your ass down and tell me what the hell happened."

"Nothing."

"Was it your mother?" Mikaeel was already unzipping his jacket as Ihsaan began to prod.

"How'd you know?"

"I'm actually pretty smart..."

Mikaeel didn't even bother gracing his quip with a reply.

"You know she's full of shit." Ihsaan said, signalling for another shot.

"I know."

"So-" Ihsaan's face lit up as he looked behind Mikaeel. "Hey sexy." He winked, holding his arm out for whoever it was he had come to know in the past few months. Mikaeel barely even glanced at the tall, leggy black woman that hurried happily into Ihsaan's grip before pecking him on his lips.

"Hey yourself." She smiled, grabbing a seat next to him.

"Howsit?" He turned around leaning his face on his hand as he inclined his body towards hers.

"Good, you?"

"I've been better." He shrugged looking around behind them. "Didn't Tarryn come?"

"She's looking for parking." The nameless woman replied eyeing Ihsaan's shot. "Don't drink alone. Buy a woman a drink."

"Ya, buy a woman a drink." They heard another woman pipe up from behind them. Mikaeel didn't see the appeal. Ihsaan looked like shit- simply put. He looked high as fuck but they just didn't seem to care.

"Oh hey..." Ihsaan looked up as if just realising that Mikaeel was still there. "Shit I forgot you were here."

"He's your friend?" The blonde behind them asked as she put her arms around Ihsaan.

"Ya. My best friend." Mikaeel only shook his head before standing up to leave once again.

"Don't leave on our account." Tarryn said sidling up to Mikaeel. He caught the undeniable scent of very, very potent weed as if she had smoked a spliff barely a few seconds ago.

"Tell your friend to back off." Mikaeel looked at Ihsaan, warning him to stop whatever rubbish idea he had going on in his head.

"Don't be rude Mickey Mouse." Ihsaan shook his head at his behaviour.

"Yeah..." The blonde said, shuffling even closer to him. "Don't be rude."

"Jesus, Tarryn!" Her friend sighed standing up to pull her away. "Sorry." She looked to Mikaeel apologetically. "I told her not to smoke that shit but her boyfriend just dumped her."

"Ntando! That was supposed to be a secret." Tarryn whined, resting her head in the crook of her friend's neck. "Your friend is kind of cute." She smiled at Ihsaan, peeking at Mikaeel through the corners of her eyes.

"I'm going." Mikaeel said, tired of whatever it was that had just transpired.

"Dude, what?" Ihsaan stood up pulling at the collar resting against Mikaeel's neck. "Sit down and talk to me. Ignore them..." He beckoned him back to his seat once again.

"I have to go home." He pulled out of his hold.

"Stay please." Tarryn said, a little too bold for her own liking. "I like looking at you."

"Ya Mickey. Stay."

Just five more minutes...

He watched them dance in the pit below as he waited for Shuayb to join him. He could see them from his seat but the thought of holding on to someone else or touching them made him feel somewhat sick. He didn't like the idea of it just yet- not when he knew what it felt like to hold her. He liked how Hoori felt. He liked that her hips were a little wide and he liked that she had meaty thighs. She wasn't a stick; she had something to hold on to and as he looked at the dancers below him, he knew he didn't want to find that in them. He thought about the times he had asked her to come with him but when he looked at them, really looked at them as they danced and gyrated as a single complete unit, he wanted to fucking shoot himself.

He considered what would have happened had he turned around and left her alone for a second. The idea of a nameless stranger taking his place, touching her, running his hands over her body, feeling every curve of her, running his hand under her shirt and touching her beauty spots...

The idea of it had him throwing up in his fucking mouth.

The fuck was wrong with him?

He needed to go back home. He needed to force it down her fucking throat that he didn't cheat on her and that the lipstick on his shirt belonged to some high, tarties, fucked up bitch who couldn't even see the hand before her.

Fucking Tamsyn bitch...

He reeled at the idea of her holding onto him as he tried to leave, burying her face in his neck and standing on her tip toes to kiss him. He was a second away from ripping off her fucking hair before her friend yanked her away from him.

Bitch.

Fuck shuayb. He didn't even like the fucking bastard- why in the fuck was he even waiting for him? Mikaeel stood up, grabbing his jacket from his chair. But as he turned around, he felt someone hold onto his shoulder before a pair of lips sought his in the black shadows surrounding them. He felt her hand move slowly against his shoulder, to brush against his neck, then graze against his ear before settling in his hair as she pulled him to stand closer to her. He could feel her hips brush against his and he could feel the swell of her chest beneath her thick jersey and he found that he wanted to breathe in nothing else except the perfume she had doused herself in.

But most of all- he could feel her lips as she pressed them firmly against his begging him to close his eyes and lose himself in her...

"I thought you wanted to do your honours next year yet your marks keep dropping." Her voice sounded faint through the phone though her message was loud and clear. She was disappointed in him- again and nothing short of a fucking miracle would help him.

"Yes but-"

"Don't make excuses. Why can't you just try harder? Just apply yourself Mikaeel and you'll go far. As it is you're working as a lab tech. That's embarrassing enough considering how much you're earning but now you can't even go any further because your marks are just pathetic."

"But Mum, please just-" 74 was nowhere near pathetic but she'd never listen.

"Just stop Mikaeel." She sighed. "Just once, surprise me. Okay. Do it for me. Surprise me."

"Fine." He conceded. It was no use arguing with her- he'd never win. "Salaam." He cut the call before she could reply before he walked into their room. She had no doubt overheard the entire conversation but he couldn't give a fuck about that just then. Why couldn't his mother just be happy- for once in her life why couldn't she just be fucking happy with things instead of ragging on him for shit all the time?

He didn't know what the hell else to do. He was tired of trying because it never worked. It was easier to just not bother and give her an actual reason to be pissed off with him.

"Hey." She said softly, coming to sit beside him.

What the fuck did she want?

"What?" It had been almost a month since she had gotten as close to him as she did just then.

"Are you okay?"

"Just fine." She was just being fucking nosy.

"Mikaeel..."

"What Hoori?" He didn't even have the time to blink before he felt her lips on his. Why couldn't she just kiss him as if she wanted to instead of all this shy bullshit? Why couldn't she just kiss him? He wouldn't turn her away if she kissed him? Why did she have to be afraid of kissing him? 

It fucking pissed him off.

She brushed her lips against his softly, trying to garner some sort of response yet he sat unresponsive, waiting for her to kiss him. To truly kiss him- to open her mouth to him, to push herself against him as if she wanted to kiss him.

She pushed a little closer, gripping his arm as she pressed her lips just a little more firmly to his...

Fuck it... He'd do it himself.

He kissed her as he wanted to. He knew it probably annoyed her when he kissed her just a little too hard but if she wanted to help him forget everything, she might as well do it right. He kissed her as if to bruise her before he felt her hands move tentatively to the bottom of his shirt as she began to inch it up little by little. Why didn't she just fucking touch him if she wanted to?

He moved her hand away, lifting his shirt above his head before tossing it carelessly to the floor. He didn't know when he had moved her to lay beneath him but he wanted to touch her skin and feel her waist and he wanted her to shudder beneath him as he took whatever it was that she was offering. How fucking pathetic was he? Even she- the most oblivious freak in the world knew he needed it. What was his fucking mother doing to him? Why couldn't she just be okay with him for once in his life- why couldn't she just be okay?

He lifted the hem of her nightie, caressing the soft skin of her thighs as she gasped into his mouth at his touch. If she wanted him to forget his problems, then she shouldn't have expected him to be gentle with her. He wanted to forget her and her expectations and her damned disappointment.

What didn't he do to try and earn her fucking pride but it was never enough.

His hand moved up her stomach, cupping her heavily above her bra as he kissed her again...

Why couldn't he just fucking forget her?

He kissed her, closing his eyes just a little tighter as he used her beneath him. She should never have offered if she didn't want it nor would she have wrapped her hand around his neck if she didn't like it nor brush her leg against his own. She wanted it too- he knew she wanted if but why couldn't he just forget her.

Why couldn't she just fucking love him?

He felt it before she did. He felt it at the corner of his eye, slip through his closed eyelid before it ran down his nose...

Falling silently onto her cheek...

She opened her eyes as he did, looking up at him with something like pity in her eyes. Who the fuck was she to pity him? Her life was more fucked up than his and what good would it do anyway? His mother cried more than enough and nothing helped her...

It was a fucking wasted emotion that didn't help anyone.

"Get the fuck away from me." He didn't need her to ask him what was wrong? It was bullshit anyway. It was not going to help and he certainly didn't need it from her.

"What just..." She raised her hand towards his face.

"Leave me the fuck alone." He didn't want her touching him.

Fuck her. He needed to forget about it with someone who wanted to forget with him.

He grabbed his shirt from the floor, pulling it over his head as he walked out the door...

I believe you

She kissed him, taking his hand in hers, joining their fingers together.

I believe you

She smiled, feeling his left hand wind around her back pressing her closer to him.

I believe you

She whispered apologies between restless kisses...

And kisses

And kisses

Pushing herself closer to him till she could feel all of him, feel his lips tickling hers, the rough stubble against his jaw, his hands under her jersey and his knee brushing against her own.

I believe you

She kissed him long and soft and deep...

I believe you

She opened her eyes, wiping her thumb beneath his eye to wipe telltale trails of wetness away...

"Come home with me." She said, breathing so deeply and smiling so widely that she was sure she would combust from the inside out. "Please."

Mikaeel took her hand in his, helping Hoori out of the shadows and down the stairs toward the exit...

Never to return again.

...

Her knees tapped nervously against the bed as she waited for him to shower. It wasn't nerves built from fear. They was rooted deep within excitement and happiness and anticipation. It was as if she were going over the edge of the highest peak of a rollercoaster but she wasn't scared to fall...

This time she was anxious to fly.

Her heart was beating madly in her chest as she heard his footsteps down the passage.

With him...

Just with him...

"Oh." His eyes widened as he took in the sight before him. "Let's see." His pants was slung low on his hips and his hair was still dripping water onto the wooden floor beneath his feet.

She stood up slowly.

"Turn around..." She heard his intake of breath at the sight of her open back before she felt his fingers dance softly along her spine. "I thought I was never seeing you in this again." His whispers caused shivers down her legs as he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her to stand closer to him. She could feel his chest warm against her back as he laid his chin to rest on her shoulder.

"I changed my mind." She felt his fingers brush against the short lace bottom of her white nightie and never in her life was she more thankful to her cousin for sneaking it into her suitcase what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"How did you know where I was?" He asked, not in a hurry to let go of her anytime soon.

"I asked Naazli."

"Naazli?" So that's why Shuayb asked him to wait.

"Uhm hmm." She nodded, feeling her breath hitch as ran his fingers along her stomach.

"I see." He could feel the loose knot holding her nightie up brush against his shoulder. "Why did you come?"

She turned around slowly in his arms, considering her words. "You and I are a lot alike." She said.

"How so?"

"We try to forget things and pretend it never happened instead of dealing with it. The only difference is," She kissed him softly- simply because she could. "I lost myself in my books and you lost yourself in.... everything else." She didn't want to mention it, not now. "And somewhere along the line we got so lost that we couldn't find our way back." She looked down at their bare feet, unsure of how to say the words running around in her head. "Mika I..."

"What?"

"I want you to find me, Mikaeel." She said, brushing her lips against his again. "Please, find me." She said kissing him again, feeling his heart beat against her own, soothing her, calming her... Her fingers were shaking as she reached behind her head to undo the knot against her neck.

He didn't say anything, simply watching as she lowered her hands to grasp his own...

Please find me...

She felt his fingers along her back, grazing her spine as he reached for the loose ribbons hanging down her back. "I always loved your back." He said softly. "I like the way it curves towards the bottom." His fingertips were cold as he prodded her spine gently.

"That's why most of my nighties are backless." she grinned, capturing his lips with her own as he continued his slow assault on her back curling her shoulders when he finally reached that spot that he knew she loved so much.

He smiled, allowing her words to register in his mind before he found the ribbon at her neck again, using it to slowly lower her nightie...

He could feel her skin against his own as more and more of the soft, silk material was lowered. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest and the tightening of her stomach as he grazed his hands along her body...

Please find me Mikaeel

It was slow and unhurried.

Please find me

His was touch was gentle

Please find me

And his kisses were soft

And as the sky turned from navy to pitch black, he found her. He found her in every touch and every caress of her smooth skin. He found her in ever curl of her fingers around his own. He found her in every gasp and kiss and in every whispered word she uttered as he finally made love to her with not just his body...

But with every bit of his heart as well.

He found her.

He finally found her...

A/N You'd probably have to read the end of the last chapter again... There's a few hints and clues that she wasn't actually leaving him but I'll leave you to find the Ah hah! Moment.

Next chapter... lots more things will be answered. Promise.