The next day i waited for the explosion i knew was sure to come. I don't know why. It wasn't really to stick it to Izzy i mean sure i didn't like her but that wasn't it. It was Jeremiah. I had dated a few guys i mean dated was really to strong of a word. I went out with Ben and Conner after a few games. Just dinner. We kissed a bit but it never really went further than that.                  Because they saw me as a guy. But Jeremiah saw past that. He saw somebody beautiful. And that was the best part of all.

               My phone buzzed. I got the stupidest grin on my face. I picked it up. "Im outside. Can you sneak out?" "Yes!" I wasn't wearing a stitch of makeup because i rarely did. I had ditched the oversized shirt. I had on a white tank top my aunt had gotten me. With some black sweats with stripes on the sides. Hey i couldn't change over night. And let me tell you. It was hot outside. Ditching the pull over was great.

               I opened the door and quickly jumped in. "What is this? I like." He said. "Yea i ditched the pull over,i only wore  it to hide stuff i guess, i would hate for the guys to not play sports with me anymore because they realized i was a girl." I shrugged. He pulled out. "I think they know you're a girl." He laughed. "Meh, you know what i mean." I said. "Besides, kissing with hands roaming is much easier in that." He joked. "So tell me what happend." I said. He sighed.

                    "Okay, well I told her i wanted to talk. She freaked out 'talking is never good, Jer just don't' i said well no we need to talk about us. 'ugh what like you're breaking up with me?' She asked. Yea, kind of look. I don't want to hurt you. 'well if you're breaking up with me that will hurt me. So Jer don't do it.' She took my hands. Look no offense i told her. You and i don't even like the same things. Were just to different. I'm not changing my mind. 'oh my gosh are you serious? is there someone else? There's someone else. Who is she? Do i know her?' I said no of course there's nobody else it's just you and me aren't right for each other." I put my hand up. "You told her there wasn't anybody else?" I frowned.

              "Oh there is SO someone else. But if she knew that she'd kill me. Then she'd kill you. And i don't want you to die." He said brushing his fingers against my cheek. She stamped her foot and then she left in tears." He said. "Well are you okay?" I asked. "I am more than okay." He said. "You can't be. I heard you tell her you love her." "Well yea, i guess i did but i don't know how to explain it. She wasn't right for me. We had zero in common. I guess i told her because at one point maybe i thought i loved her. But we just grew a part."

                "I'm just checking because i don't want you to tell me you love me then one day decide that you don't. I don't want to get hurt. I don't do this." I looked down. He picked my chin up. "Do what?" He said softening his voice. "Fall." "Are you falling?" He asked. "Yea and quickly. It's starting to scare me." I admitted. "Well i don't want to scare you." "It's not you, it's that i'm afraid of getting hurt." "Well i won't..." He took my hands in his. "No don't, you can't say that. You broke izzy's heart." I said.

           "Right no i know that, but it's because i knew it wasn't right. Even before you. And i guess i'm kind of a jerk. Even though i knew it wasn't a good relationship i couldn't find a good reason to get out of it. I didn't want to hurt her. So i just stayed. But we never talked about anything. I feel that you have to talk about problems you have so you can sort them out. We didn't. We just talked about her shoes, her nails, her clothes, her tan. You and I we talk about deeper things." He pulled into the park's parking lot. He turned to me.

                  "I won't make you promise not to break my heart." I said. "Good because i can't. But i want you to know that i really really like you. And things are already so good. And we haven't even kissed yet. But i also know that if you never take a chance you'll never know how good it could be." He had his fingers laced through mine. He kissed my knuckles. "Then promise me something. If we have a problem with anything you'll talk to me about it so we can work it out." I said. "I will. I can do that. I should have done that with Izzy but she didn't want to talk about things." He said. I nodded understanding.

                There was plenty of space in the car. I leaned in "So tell me." "What's that." "That thing you were saying earlier. About things already being good and we hadn't even..." I trailed off. "Kissed yet." He said lowering his voice. "That one." He leaned in even further. "I was really thinking we should..." My lips touched his and holy moly that boy could kiss. The kiss got better the longer we did it. And the hand's roaming thing. Gotta say i didn't so much mind it. "So am i a better kisser than Izzy?" I asked. "You think i'd tell you if you weren't?" He asked. "I don't know." I said. "Would you?" I asked. "I don't know, but luckily for you...i don't have to lie. You are a way better kisser." He said leaning in again.

                We hid out in his car for hours talking and kissing and laughing. When i finally came home Izzy was still crying and yelling. Bri was trying to calm her down. My dad was in the dining room fixing a rack for the girls things. "What's got you smiling like that?" My dad asked. "Nothing." I said. "Oh? Then where were you?" He asked. "Oh you know just a round or two of pickup football with the guys." I said. "Oh Greg?" My dad asked a knowing smile on his face.

                "Oh well yea, he was there but were not together or anything. You know after he ditched me for prom i kind of decided i didn't like him like that." I said. "Oh, well is there any boy you 'like, like that?'" He asked. "Dad are we really talking about boys?" I asked. "Yes, i think i need to check out any guy you become serious about." He said. "Look you really don't. You taught me how a guy should treat a girl. I'll be eighteen in a few months and going off to college.Going off to college wasn't really accurate. I opted to stay at home and go to the local college. 

           Jeremiah was also doing that. It's what you did in our small town. You didn't leave to go to princeton or Harvard. Ivy league wasn't for us. And honestly i was fine with that. He was also staying at home.

                 I'll admit i had the thought of how would we see each other. Izzy wasn't going to college but she was going to beauty school and until they moved out things would be awkward. Could we hang out at his house? Would his mom say something to izzy? I mean not on purpose. Did he have to say keep this quiet. I didn't like being a secret but with everything that had happened we didn't have a choice.

              "Oh, well i thought you trusted me enough to meet him." My dad said. "Don't pout there is no guy but if there is maybe i'll bring him around." I said. Now we'd have to lie. For our whole lives. Me and Jeremiah met up at college and studied we hit it off. No, there wasn't anything prior.

               I walked out. "Keep up the good work." I said. Izzy came around the corner. "Get out of my way!" She sobbed. "Izzy? Are you okay?" I asked. "No you freak! Jeremiah dumped me. Now leave. You know what forget it. I'll leave!" She said grabbing her purse from the hook. She was crazy.

                 I was in my room reading when there was a knock on the door. I had just talked to dad, who could that be? "Come in." I said. The door opened and Bri stepped in. "Hey, so i guess you heard about the break up eh?" She asked. "Yea, i'm sorry you're having to go through that." I said. She laughed. "Yea it feels like i'm the one who got dumped." She said.

                 I gave her a curious look. "I'm sure you're wondering why i'm here." She said. "Kind of you're not supposed to like me i thought." I said. "That's Bri and it's only because she thought Jeremiah liked you which is crazy right?" She asked. "Totaly." I laughed. "As if i'd ever be his type." I said.

             "Well i mean i guess i can see it now that you mention it you guys are into the same things. But honestly the breakup was a long time coming. I knew he wasn't happy but Izzy just didn't wanna see it. But i wanted to see if you thought our parents were going to get married." She said. Now that they were living together it made sense.

                "I do think they will, but i'm happy for my dad. And i like your mom." I said. "I like your dad!" She agreed. "Honestly i just want my mom to be happy." She said. "Same, my mom died so long ago that my dad put off dating to take care of me." I said. "Right, my dad left and at fist my mom tried to let him be involved he just wanted no part in it. He left us shortly after i was born." She said.

               "I'm so sorry, i hate that for you guys." I said. "It's probably why Izzy is such a jerk sometimes. My mom tried and maybe she spoiled us to much to make up for the fact he was a huge jerk. Maybe some part of her felt bad she chose him as our father." She said.

             "Right, and some people just have sex all willy nilly these days." I said. She looked down. "I wouldn't know." She said. "What does that mean?" I asked. She sighed. "Ugh, well Ty and i haven't done that yet...But it's not that we don't want to. Well i mean he wants to obviously and when we kiss i do get kinda turned on. But i just don't know when you're ready. I mean i asked Izzy about when her and Jeremiah did it..."

               "What?" I asked jerking my eyes up. He failed to mention that. I dunno why i thought it would have come up by now. But...still. I haven't done that yet either. "Yea well she said they did that a few months after they got together. But like she was ready. She said it was great and so maybe i'm just being a baby." She said.

               "Don't rush it. You only have one first time. And it's gonna change things." I said. "That's why i've been hesitant, what if i have sex then i regret it?" she asked. "Oh i know! Maybe start slow. Like take off his shirt right and then see how you feel afterwards. Then the next time yours. Just keep going until you want him to stop. And if not then you'll go all the way." I said. 

                   "That sounds like a really good idea actually, thanks for talking with me." She said. "Hey, anytime. We might be sisters one day." I said. "And it might be nice to talk about me for once. Thanks." She said leaving. 

                       As soon as she was done i texted Jeremiah. "Can we meet up i need to talk to you about something." I said. "Uh-oh should i be worried? Wait is this a joke, like i broke your almost sisters heart so you break mine?" He asked. 

               "No stupid, i like you. I just wanted to talk about something." I said. "I'm scared." He said. "I'll meet you at the end of the street." I said. "Okay." I took this time to change. I put on a pair of shorts that were shorter than i was used to. My legs didn't look bad. My aunt bought a lot of the clothes i had recently started wearing. I pulled on a v-neck shirt. It was grey and it make my boobs like pretty fabulous. I slipped into some flip flops and ran outside. Thankfully i didn't run into anybody.

               Jeremiah was waiting when i got there. His eyes grazed my body. "Oh this i like." He said smiling. I bit my lip. "Thanks." He pulled to the park again and put it in park. "So what did you want to talk to me about? I warn you i might be a little distracted..." He said. I rolled my eyes. "Focus, look i wanna talk to you about sex." I said. "And i'm supposed to focus now?" He asked smirking.

               "Yea, wait what? No stop." I said. He laughed at my flustring. "I'm sorry, i don't know what you're trying to say but it's getting awfully hot in here." He said pulling me to him. "No, don't do that you're distracting me from why i'm here." I said. "I think if were here for that, i need to find some place more private." He chuckled. "You know that's not why i'm here so stop playing." I said. "Then why are you here?" He asked running his lips over my exposed collar bone. "N-not...for t-that..." I said. "Why? I think you like it." He said.

              "Look i was talking with Bri and she said that...well she was talking about you and Izzy..." He pulled back his brows furrowed. "What about me and Izzy?" He asked. "She said you and her...you know..." I said. He laughed. "Me and her what?" He asked. "You know, had sex..." I said. And i didn't want to be mad at him. I guess i just felt like i had dibs on him or something. And i know that was stupid.

          "Well we didn't, i guess she just told her sister that to look cool. Look i wasn't sure she was the one that's why things never went further. She didn't push it cause she wasn't comfortable in her body most days." He shrugged.

               "I'm sorry. I just got jealous i guess cause i haven't done that and it would've been weird if you had. I don't even know why that matters it's stupid isn't it?" I asked. "Not at all if i had found out you and Greg had sex i'd be a little annoyed too! I so get it." He said. "And sorry about all the kissing i was just teasing you. But i guess that wasn't cool, i'm sorry." He said. "It's okay." I said.

              "But since you brought up sex..."He said. "What? We aren't doing that..." I said. "What? Never!?" He asked. I laughed. "No, i didn't say that. Let me rephrase that. We aren't doing that now. And i don't mean now because we're at the park. I mean now because we just started dating and i need to make sure things are good between us first. I don't wanna do it with you and then things not work out. At some point with that method you have sex with way to many guys y'know?" I asked. "Yea i so get it." He said.

             I sighed. "Look i never thought we'd be talking about this right now. You know. It's so soon." I said. "It is soon, but we would have had this conversation eventually, and it doesn't hurt a thing. Were on the same page." He said. "And it's good for me to find out what's to much to soon." He said his eyes shining. "You just want to touch all this, i'll save you the trouble." I said. "You're right i do, but how are you gonna save me the trouble?" He asked. "You can touch whatever outside of the clothes." I said shrugging. "Even your..." He looked down to my boobs."Sure." I said. "Sweet!" He said.

             "Even your..." He motioned behind me. "Sure." He leaned in and kissed me. His hands roamed over my boobs. I grinned against his lips. Two could play that game. I snuck my hands under his shirt and rubbed against his abs. "Hey now that's not fair, i don't get under the shirt privilege's." He said. I rolled my eyes. "Give it time big boy, i want to take this slow. So that we don't ruin it before it gets started." I said. He groaned. "I guess i could be okay with that answer." He said.

            I pulled back. "Okay it's hot." I said. "Yes you are." He said checking me out. I rolled my eyes. "So how are we going to keep dating? I mean eventually someone is going to see us." I said. "True, but at college we can totally date. Izzy won't be there." He said. "Right but you can't come to my house. She will see you. I can't come to your house because your mom will see me and that just might be weird." I said.

           "Well Izzy and Bri aren't going to be living at your house forever." He said. "That's true but my dad would blow his top if i brought you over because A. i'm alone with a boy and B. His girlfriends daughter got her heart broken and i played a part in it." I said. "Okay i see your point. Maybe we just need to get an apartment or something together. Close to the school." He suggested.

           I'd never lived with a guy obviously, i was a senior in high school. But i thought of all the awkward things. Like would we share a bed? What if he walked in on me while i was showering. What if he walked in while i was changing. "What is going on in that pretty head of yours?" He asked. I sighed. I guess it was no use in keeping it a secret.

                "I guess i was wondering a few things..." I listed off the things i just had time to think about. I'm sure if given time i would think of more. "Okay, so i say we could sleep together if you wanted. We could snuggle. But we just have to set boundaries. Because if you see all this in nothing but boxers you may not be able to keep your hands to yourself." He said.

             "Oh is that so?" I asked. "Oh yea, and if i see you in your pajamas i might not be able to keep my hands to myself. And i might enjoy walking in on you during the shower. But i would respect your boundaries. And if i walked in on you while you were changing i would do my best to look away but if it takes me a minute just know you don't make it easy." He said. I laughed.

               "But seriously. Living together might not be so terrible. We can watch tv together. Eat dinner together. And i'll behave." He said. "What if my dad wants to come over? Or your mom?" I asked. "Well then we can hide. Or leave the apartment if we know they are coming." He shrugged. But we had plenty of time to talk about it. We finished up and he dropped me off close to the house.